Why are some kids at their worst when they're with their parents? You may have heard it's because they are comfortable letting it all hang out when they're with their parents, which is a piece of the puzzle, but far from the whole story. The bottom line is that kids (and all humans) crave energy, intensity, attention, and interaction from the people around them, and when kids get that negatively (in the form of anger, worry, or interference from their parents, for example), we start to see negative behavior increase as a means to feel connection. Connection is king. This week on the podcast, I'll explore what that looks like and how we can use the fact that "connection is king" to create positive behaviors and relationships with our kids. Doing this kind of personal growth work is the quickest way to unlock incredible parenting for your kiddo and the most joyful life you could ever experience! So if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

Have you ever done the "right thing" even though it felt like torture? Of course! We've all been in countless situations where we knew what we should do, and we were able to make ourselves do it, but it sucked. Telling the truth when it would have been easier to lie, staying calm with our kiddo when, inside, we are seething, holding a boundary when we wish we could just cave... It's so normal! But what if it were possible to do those "right" things and it NOT feel so hard? What if doing the right thing just organically happened, not because you were forcing yourself to be good, but because that was just what naturally unfolded? This week on the podcast, I'll explore what that looks like and how we can get there. It's something IFS calls "Self-Led," and I'll share a story about one client who got there in her parenting and how things changed because of her transformation. Doing this kind of personal growth work is the quickest way to unlock incredible parenting for your kiddo and the most joyful life you could ever experience! So if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

How much of good parenting is actually doing stuff? The answer is almost none. A beautiful conversation started with a client a few months ago and has continued to unfold for me in various spaces. This week on the podcast I share it with you. Listen to the episode to hear two stories that demonstrate that: If we put our focus on our way of being - elevating our consciousness and addressing the internal processes that block our ability to be present with our children - the doing part of parenting almost takes care of itself, and The things we think matter about ourselves, the things we think connect our children to us, are actually trappings and not our true value at all. Doing this kind of personal growth work is the quickest way to unlock incredible parenting for your kiddo and the most joyful life you could ever experience! So if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

But how do you really DO this IFS stuff? I just came back from facilitating the October retreats with incredible women surrounded by gorgeous Fall colors and beautiful growth moments. Internal Family Systems (IFS) was a big focus of our work this year, and we discovered quickly that we could spend a whole morning learning and discussing IFS without ever actually DOING any of it! A quick pivot helped us drop into true IFS, and everyone enjoyed an astounding transformation once we moved away from analysis and theory. It made me realize that I've done the same thing here with you on the podcast! I've recorded several episodes that introduce you to IFS—what it is, how it works, etc. But how do you really DO it? This week, I'll walk you through 3 easy steps of IFS to get you started, and you can even do them on your own without a practitioner! Doing this kind of personal growth work is the quickest way to unlock incredible parenting for your kiddo and the most joyful life you could ever experience! So if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

Blame v responsibility | When something goes wrong, is your first reaction to figure out what caused it and who's to blame? If you said yes, you are in very good company. It is the most common reaction to anything in our lives, even the good stuff! Who gets the blame? Who gets credit? And our minds tend to equate blame with responsibility. Makes sense, right? If you break something of mine, you should be responsible for fixing it. But the operative word there is "should". Because everybody knows (especially parents!) that no matter who is to blame for a situation, it doesn't always turn out the way that it "should". And fixating on blame only feeds our frustration and pain when reality doesn't match our expectations. In this week's episode of the podcast, I'll break down these ideas even further and help you start to make the journey from playing the blame game to seeing life through a different lens. Doing this kind of personal growth work is the quickest way to unlock incredible parenting for your kiddo and the most joyful life you could ever experience! So if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

What even is the ego? If you've listened to even one of my podcast episodes, you've heard me use the E word thousands of times 😝 But what does it mean? Usually, an official definition only confuses us even more: "the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity." (Only moderately helpful, in my opinion). There are so many better explanations that can help us understand the ego in a very real way: how the ego functions in our minds, and both allows us to survive this thing called life, and can imprison us at the same time. Listen to this week's episode of the podcast to gain a more tangible understanding of the ego and learn effective ways to work with it. Doing this kind of personal growth work is the quickest way to unlock incredible parenting for your kiddo and the most joyful life you could ever experience! And if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

What am I supposed to DO with the Enneagram? Last week, you heard me discuss the levels of development and integration that exist within the Enneagram. The most common question I get after teaching these concepts is, So what? What am I supposed to do about it? It's really helpful to see that we struggle with certain personality constraints, or that we are hanging out in the less healthy range of integration, but how can we change any of that? For me, the simple answer to that question is internal family systems work, or IFS. IFS helps us deconstruct the attachment we have to our egos and start to gain more connection with our true selves instead. The more connections we have to self-energy, the more ability we have to work with these aspects of our personality in healthy ways instead of being controlled by them. Listen to this week's episode of the podcast to hear what that looks like and start to apply some of these concepts to your own personal work! And if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

How developed or evolved do you think you are? One of the reasons why I love the Enneagram is because it is so helpful not just in pegging personality type, but also facilitating our growth and development. In fact, when you think not just about the nine types of the 'gram, but the six combinations of our primal instincts we could have, the two wings we could have flavirong out Type, and the levels of integration we could be experiencing in our personal growth, there are not only nine types. Realistically there are actually infinite combinations that explain and decode our personalities and behaviors! In this week's episode of the podcast, I am explaining those levels of integration. How strongly identified and attached are you to your ego? Conversely, how loosely do you hold your ego and how connected are you to your essential nature and true self instead? These are the questions the integration scale helps us answer. Listen to hear about those different levels and maybe even start to identify yourself in them! And if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

How come my clients tend to be a bit older? Since tons of people have kids in their 20s, it might seem strange to hear that I don't have a lot of clients in that age range. Maybe you're thinking it's because they can't afford me, but that's not it! 😜 (I actually have lots of ways for people to work with me for free or very low cost) The real reason has to do with what is happening internally for us in our 20s. In this week's episode of the podcast, I am talking about the arc of human development and where we are in that arc when we are finally ready to undertake the personal growth work that my coaching entails. Understanding the stages of development that our kids go through, not just when they are little, but through the course of their entire lives, is so helpful in giving ourselves grace as parents, understanding how our own growth trajectory affects our parenting, and in showing up appropriately for our kids, whatever age they are! Listen to learn about those stages, and see for yourself why I don't have a ton of 20-something clients! And if you're ready to explore implementing these ideas in your own life, schedule a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall

(The short answer is yes, btw) Codependency is a buzzword on steroids these days! And if you get down to it, pretty much every self-help and pop psychology thing out there is really getting at this same topic, whether it's encouraging us to "Let Them" or "not give a F-k". It's all about how codependent we are. This week's episode of the podcast breaks down what codependency is, provides examples of all the kinds of depencecy (co- in - and inter-), and gives you a bit of a trailhead to follow away from codependency. Listen to hear me unpack these concepts and get some inspiration on where to go from here. And if you're ready to look into implementing these ideas in your own life, set up a free Discovery Call and let's see if we're a good fit! https://calendly.com/annkaplan/discoverycall