Jacked, Tan and Snarky

Welcome to Jacked, Tan and Snarky the ultimate guide to navigating life’s dumpster fire with a healthy dose of snark. This week, we’re ringing in the new year by diving into deprivation tanks, and questioning why our internal clocks insist we’re still 26.

From the chaos of carving out alone time during Christmas to surviving family we’re hitting it all. We’re also tackling New Year’s goals—decluttering (aka procrastinating), Dry January stupidity, and plugging in our phones to reclaim screen-free sanity. Plus, we’ll explore how puzzles, knitting (and quitting knitting), and barn cats fit into the untethered madness.

Want more? Let’s chat free association singing, Jiu Jitsu with kids, rotting squirrels in mason jars (for science!), and how drinking at 6 a.m. can still be a vibe. Oh, and there’s a shout-out to Sue (mom goals), Matt (cruise bets FTW), and the most questionable gym equipment ever invented.

Grab a drink (or don’t, it’s Dry January) and join us for a whirlwind of humor, self-discovery, and maybe even a little book burning (metaphorically, we promise).

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected].

Welcome back to Jacked, tann-ish and definitely snarky, where we dissect the chaos of modern life with wit, wisdom, and just a touch of exhaustion.

This week, we start by shouting out our loyal listeners (hi, Carrie, David, and Jamie—you’re the real MVPs). Then we dive headfirst into Love After Lockup, a show that proves love knows no bounds—or brain cells. From there, we chat about the Yellowstone finale that wasn’t actually a finale, because apparently, dragging things out is a vibe.

We mourn Chelsea’s fallen Christmas tree and shattered ornaments, and observe the superstitious magic of shouting “rabbit rabbit” into the void. Jenny shares a horse story and her unexpected preference for the word “dookie” (we’re nothing if not linguistically inventive), and we delve into the gritty lives of barn cats who could probably take over the world if they cared enough.

There’s also a candid chat about motherhood phases, from craving a last-minute date night to regretting buying a three-row SUV. We unpack the mystery of the TikTok dancer in the snow, recap Wicked with all the dramatic flair it deserves, and take a moment to side-eye Ariana Grande’s dating choices.

To wrap it up, we debate whether thoughtful gifts or cold hard cash win the holidays, and Chelsea has a heartfelt lament about her ever-growing collection of gray hairs. Spoiler alert: aging is a scam.

Pour a drink, get cozy, and join us for an episode that’s equal parts chaos and catharsis.

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected].

We’re back with another wildly relatable and slightly ridiculous episode! Join us as we ramble through topics ranging from the serious to the absurd. We kick things off with a migraine-fueled plea for more naps—because honestly, sleep might just solve everything.

From there, it’s a game show roast session: why we’d epically fail at Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune, but maybe dominate Family Feud (survey says?). Plus, our lukewarm attempt to channel Vanna White.

Next stop: Broadway snark. We dissect our Wicked experience, including our candlelight concert adventure and the thrill—or lack thereof—of theater seats. And don’t worry, Real Housewives fans, there’s plenty of hot takes on Lisa Barlow, designer bags, and her inexplicable hatred of fresh Italian food.

Of course, we couldn’t resist a holiday-themed derailment. Expect chats about Christmas plans, Thanksgiving travel, our shiny new couch, and the eternal struggle of Christmas cards (send them? burn them?). We even sprinkle in some septic system woes and old house repair rants, because adulthood is just one glamorous crisis after another.

Finally, we wrap things up with “Campsgiving” plans, Cali rainstorms, and a few too many laughs about Chelsea’s Thanksgiving camping adventure. So grab a snack, maybe a Coach purse (obviously not Lisa Barlow-approved), and join us for a chaotic ride through life’s quirks and snark-worthy.

Minutes (for Carrie):

Intro and talk about migraines

4:10- Nap/sleep more migraine talk

5:32- Slang and Jeapordy and Wheel of Fortune and Price is right (and how much we’d suck at them)

8:52- Family feud

10:11- Wicked

11:09- Candle Light Concert

11:37- Seats at Wicked

12:04- Real Housewives

33:14- Christmas plans (Chelsea's new couch)

36:00- Christmas cards

37:00- Thanksgiving plans and travel

38:41- Cali rain storm

40:41- Septic systems and old house repairs

45:00- Chelsea’s Thanksgiving camping plans

45:40- RHOSLC Lisa Barlow/Coach purse

49:50- Lisa Barlow hates fresh Italian food

50:23- Campsgiving/Thanksgiving

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected].

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the chaos that is our collective exhaustion from *daylight saving time* (yes, it’s “saving,” not “savings”—get it right or get out). We’ll chat about sleep hacks that probably won’t work but make us feel productive, and the cold plunge trend that has everyone pretending to be Vikings for better recovery.

Then, we unpack my latest gym crisis, and outsourcing fitness to ChatGPT, because apparently that’s a thing. We’ll also dissect the latest *Real Housewives of Salt Lake City* drama and why Lisa’s diet should be declared a national emergency.

And of course, we’ll touch on the annual madness of decorating for Christmas, complete with bribing the kids to hang ornaments with promises of In-N-Out’s free hot cocoa. More festive meltdowns to come—stay tuned!

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected].

Ever wonder what’s rattling around in your hosts' heads, like an endless scroll of open tabs? From nostalgic naps and the bittersweet reality of our 40s to griping about slang and the baffling sounds we’ve apparently lost the ability to hear—it's all here. We tackle your notifications overload and ‘chimp crazy’ moments (yes, they *still* should live in the fucking wild Tonia).

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected] feel free to share any snarky content and stand you'd like to hear us cover!

Thank you for listening!

Buckle up for a whirlwind episode where we *attempt* to stay on topic but definitely don’t. We kick off with some baseball talk (because Chelsea is legally obligated), then somehow find ourselves talking about Celine Dion and Ariana Grande’s SNL commercial because why wouldn’t we? We Stan SNL for once, but don’t worry Bravo fans, you don’t miss our Real Housewives hot takes.

Then, we take a pit stop into the chaotic world of Joe Rogan before diving into podcasts about doctors you *definitely* don’t want operating on you

We wrap it all up with a little shopping trip to PA, where we embrace our inner basics and all that comes with it. You’re welcome.

Show minutes (don't get used to it- lol):

Into and Baseball talk

10:35 Football talk

13:05 Celine Dion/Arianna Grande NFL/UFC commercial

13:58 SNL

15:25 Chimp Crazy

17:43 Real Housewives

23:36 Listener feedback- all in good fun!

24:49 Joe Rogan

26:36 Podcasts- Dr Miracle/Dr Death

30:32 Con-artists like Robert Gerardi

33:40 Chelsea apologizes to Jenny

34:39 Halloween

41:55 Movies: mostly scary stuff

45:03 Thanksgiving

49:09 Cooking/elderly hobbies & visiting with Beverly and Jack

55:40 Geoff/Jeff/Shawn/Sean/Shawn

56:32 Wicked Stanley

1:01 Being basic and shopping in PA

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected] feel free to share any snarky content and stand you'd like to hear us cover!

Thank you for listening!

In this episode, we’re bringing the heat—literally and figuratively. The weather’s so hot it feels like we’re living on the sun, but that’s nothing compared to the outrageous fashion choices from the Real Housewives. Speaking of bad decisions, let's talk about Optavia, the latest dispatch from cray town has arrived. Oh, and teens—they’re everywhere, and they’re all up in your business. We’ve got rants, laughs, and the brutal truth. Grab your water (and maybe some SPF), it’s about to get spicy.

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected] feel free to share any snarky content and stand you'd like to hear us cover!

Thank you for listening!

In this episode, we're diving into the cringe and glory of watching yourself on reality TV—because nothing says *peak vanity* like critiquing your own facial expressions on the small screen. While we’re at it, we’ll talk about the real heroes of our screen time: our favorite podcasts that keep us sane. Then, it’s time for the ultimate end of summer guilty pleasure— Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Grab your popcorn and your best side-eye, because we’re unpacking drama, delusion, and everything in between.

Tune in for the snark, stay for the side-eye.

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected] feel free to share any snarky content and stand you'd like to hear us cover!

Thank you for listening!

This week, we’re decoding the baffling world of teenager abbreviations —because why say "that sucks for you" when you can say "TSFY" and yeet your credibility out the window? But that's not all! We’ll also take a front-row seat to the latest reality TV trainwreck, where people make questionable decisions, and we pretend it's "unscripted." Oh, and if you've been waiting for your next financial disaster, there's a shiny new MLM scam ready to take your savings while promising you the world (or at least a handful of casino coins.

Tune in for the snark, stay for the side-eye.

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected] feel free to share any snarky content and stand you'd like to hear us cover!

Thank you for listening!

In this episode, we’re diving into the wild world of gym etiquette—because yes, someone needs to tell you not to hog the squat rack for Instagram selfies. From dodging the guy who has his special workout shirt on, to nutrition that actually fuels women (hint: it’s more than salad and air) y’all need more protein. We’ll also take a cold plunge into the latest fitness trends, because apparently, freezing your brown fat is the new hot thing. And, of course, workout fashion—because you can’t crush PRs in tragic leggings.

Please like, follow, share and rate our podcast! For more podcast content, find and follow us on Instagram @jackedtanandsnarky!

If you'd like to interact with our hosts, reach out at [email protected] feel free to share any snarky content and stand you'd like to hear us cover!

Thanks for listening!