Jackie is way too comfortable in hell. She discusses why she hates influencer culture, her delusional confidence to drop music when she can't sing,  cheating, why her dog smells like yeast, her worst habits, and much more.  PROMO CODES: Noom: Sign up for a Noom trial at https://www.noom.com/bern BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at https://betterhelp.com/BERNING Dipsea: Get a 30 day free trial at https://dipsea.com/bern Upstart: https://Upstart.com/BERN --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jackie Schimmel: The Bitch Bible & Her Velcro Vagina

The Berner Phone hotline is open! Hannah Berner and her husband, comedian Des Bishop, are listening to callers, dishing out their best advice, and bantering back with hilarious chemistry for their first ever podcast together. Keep an eye out on their Instagram stories for prompts to leave a voice message and be featured on the pod. Whether it’s pet peeves, secrets, life advice, dating dilemmas, or career questions, Hannah and Des are dialed in.

Comedy

Stand-Up

This week we're throwing it back to a simpler time - when your ex of 20 years couldn't add you on Facebook, your boss couldn't contact you after 5pm, and your favorite show couldn't be spoiled.  Free shipping at Quince.com/bern 20% off razors at AthenaClub.com with code BERN  

Berner Phone #37: Life Before Smartphones

Technology might be the great equalizer, but karma is not. The dialer's techonology mishaps involve OnlyFans, nudes, and awkward interactions. On the bright side, there are some great hacks for avoiding these mistakes in the future. Moral of this story: delete snapchat. 25% off at Seed.com/bern with code 25BERN MintMobile.com/BERNER  

Berner Phone #36: Technology Mishaps

The dialers called in about their biggest icks this week. Hannah and Des also share their icks while debating middle schoolers in Sephora and pickleball.  20% off at HoneyLove.com/BERN 15% off at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN 40% off at Hungryroot.com/BERNER

Berner Phone #35: 2024 Icks

This week we let the little dialers go rogue and tell or ask us anything. We investigate conspiracy theories, get asked some morbid questions, and get called out by a giggler. $5 off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN Get 15% off haircare at lolavie.com/BERN    

Berner Phone #34: Going Rogue

We asked the dialers to share the most toxic thing they've ever done and they definitely delivered. Some were genius, some were petty, and some were borderline illegal but we enjoyed nonetheless! 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50 20% off at AthenaClub.com with code BERN 40% off and free towels at TryMiracle.com/BERN

Jackie Schimmel: The Bitch Bible & Her Velcro Vagina

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