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Jealously and Narcissism Ep.6
The Green-Eyed Monster & The Ego: Overcoming Jealousy and Narcissism
In Episode 6 of the RelationStitch podcast, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Clyde Fraley and his wife Stephanie continue their journey through 1 Corinthians 13, tackling three heavy-hitters that destroy connection: Envy, Boasting, and Pride.
Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/r8K6AFr9-7U?si=fzu4hsP05ope_bmm
Envy & The "Emotional Embezzlement" Trap
The Fraleys define envy not just as wanting what someone else has, but as a feeling of rejection when a partner succeeds. Clyde shares a personal story of feeling "left behind" early in their marriage when Stephanie’s career took off first [04:11].
- Emotional Embezzlement: If left unchecked, envy leads to what Clyde coins "emotional embezzlement." This happens when a partner withdraws emotional investment from the marriage—or sabotages their spouse—to bolster their own fragile ego [08:45].
- The Social Media Illusion: Envy often stems from comparing your reality to someone else’s highlight reel. As Clyde’s mentor Dr. Mary Nicker noted, "The grass may be greener on the other side, but you haven’t seen their water bill" [13:02].
Pride, Boasting, and the Narcissism Epidemic
Moving to "does not boast" and "is not proud," the discussion turns to the modern rise of Narcissism.
- The Danger of "Always" and "Never": A subtle sign of pride is the use of absolutes in arguments (e.g., "You never listen"). These exaggerations are often rooted in a refusal to see any perspective but your own [22:33].
- Parenting Pitfalls: Clyde warns that over-validating children and shielding them from failure can breed narcissistic entitlement. Allowing kids to experience healthy failure is crucial for developing resilience and empathy [28:31].
The Antidote: Humility & Modesty
The cure for these toxins? Contentment and Humility.
- Quiet Strength: Clyde uses the analogy of boxers at a press conference: the one boasting is often insecure, while the one who is calm and humble usually wins the fight. Humility is a calm emotional state [26:50].
- Modesty: is about "lowering the estimate of your own importance" to serve the relationship [27:51].
Click below to watch the full episode on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu_wRb72Oq6Htdb7EFHkzF1EyAApKfP7D
For relationship courses and free downloadable resources visit www.relationstitch.com
To schedule a therapy session visit www.clydefraley.com
View all episodes
By Clyde Fraley, M.A., LMFT, NCCThe Green-Eyed Monster & The Ego: Overcoming Jealousy and Narcissism
In Episode 6 of the RelationStitch podcast, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Clyde Fraley and his wife Stephanie continue their journey through 1 Corinthians 13, tackling three heavy-hitters that destroy connection: Envy, Boasting, and Pride.
Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/r8K6AFr9-7U?si=fzu4hsP05ope_bmm
Envy & The "Emotional Embezzlement" Trap
The Fraleys define envy not just as wanting what someone else has, but as a feeling of rejection when a partner succeeds. Clyde shares a personal story of feeling "left behind" early in their marriage when Stephanie’s career took off first [04:11].
- Emotional Embezzlement: If left unchecked, envy leads to what Clyde coins "emotional embezzlement." This happens when a partner withdraws emotional investment from the marriage—or sabotages their spouse—to bolster their own fragile ego [08:45].
- The Social Media Illusion: Envy often stems from comparing your reality to someone else’s highlight reel. As Clyde’s mentor Dr. Mary Nicker noted, "The grass may be greener on the other side, but you haven’t seen their water bill" [13:02].
Pride, Boasting, and the Narcissism Epidemic
Moving to "does not boast" and "is not proud," the discussion turns to the modern rise of Narcissism.
- The Danger of "Always" and "Never": A subtle sign of pride is the use of absolutes in arguments (e.g., "You never listen"). These exaggerations are often rooted in a refusal to see any perspective but your own [22:33].
- Parenting Pitfalls: Clyde warns that over-validating children and shielding them from failure can breed narcissistic entitlement. Allowing kids to experience healthy failure is crucial for developing resilience and empathy [28:31].
The Antidote: Humility & Modesty
The cure for these toxins? Contentment and Humility.
- Quiet Strength: Clyde uses the analogy of boxers at a press conference: the one boasting is often insecure, while the one who is calm and humble usually wins the fight. Humility is a calm emotional state [26:50].
- Modesty: is about "lowering the estimate of your own importance" to serve the relationship [27:51].
Click below to watch the full episode on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu_wRb72Oq6Htdb7EFHkzF1EyAApKfP7D
For relationship courses and free downloadable resources visit www.relationstitch.com
To schedule a therapy session visit www.clydefraley.com