Jeffrey van Leeuwen Podcast

Drowsy driving is deadlier than drunk driving. In this episode, Dr. Leah Kaylor explains why your sleep is a safety issue, not just a lifestyle choice. She is a licensed clinical and prescribing psychologist, the FBI’s in-house sleep expert with a specialty in sleep and trauma, and a relentless educator on evidence-based fixes.

 1. Reset your clock: keep a consistent wake time and get outside within an hour of waking. Morning light signals the suprachiasmatic nucleus, shuts off lingering melatonin, and jump-starts alertness.

 2. Master evenings: dim overheads, use lamps or warm smart bulbs, and let your space darken with sunset. Keep bedrooms cool in the low 60s.

 3. If you work nights: use a sunrise alarm and timed bright-light therapy to shift rhythm; front-load a healthy meal; sip caffeine little and often with a hard cutoff 6–8 hours before bed; no sunglasses while commuting home if you are driving; sleep in a dark, quiet, truly blackout room.

 4. Safety first: learn the “nappuccino” (espresso, then a 20-minute nap). It outperforms either alone when fatigue hits mid-commute. Microsleeps make you stop steering and braking entirely. Pull over.

 5. Insomnia or apnea: insomnia shows up as trouble falling, staying asleep, or waking unrefreshed; obstructive sleep apnea often hides behind loud snoring, morning headaches, and crushing daytime fatigue. Get a sleep study.

 6. Habits that help: avoid long or late naps; reserve the bed for the three S’s only—sleep, sex, sickness; set boundaries with screens and games; watch caffeine’s 4–6 hour half-life; skip alcohol as a “sleep aid” since it fragments sleep and suppresses REM.  

Thank you for listening.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

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OUTLINE:

00:00 What a Sleep Psychologist Does

01:53 Why the FBI Needs Sleep Science

04:51 Three High-Impact Sleep Habits

10:18 Consistent Schedule, Sunrise Alarms, and Light

15:40 What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

17:18 Shift-Work Survival: Strategies and Support

23:10 Drowsy Driving and the Nappuccino

30:41 Night Shifts and Cancer Risk

39:33 Are You Actually Sleep Deprived

44:32 Wired but Tired; Does Creatine Help

48:35 Screens, Gaming, and Bedtime Procrastination

57:05 Train Your Brain: The Three S’s

1:06:26 Insomnia vs Sleep Apnea

1:21:26 Naps, Sleep Inertia, and Timing

1:28:25 The Effect of Alcohol on Sleep

1:30:26 The Myth of 4-Hour Sleep

1:38:54 Final Thoughts & Outro

LEAH KAYLOR LINKS:

Leah Kaylor's Website & Book

Leah Kaylor on YouTube

Leah Kaylor on Instagram

Leah Kaylor on LinkedIn

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

At nine, Michael Ostrolenk refused a psychiatrist’s quick-fix, walked out, and followed a different map: guided imagery, biofeedback, meditation, and martial arts. That choice shaped everything. Years later, a brutal one-two of loss during an MBA program forced a pivot into transpersonal and somatic psychology, coaching, and a decade building programs with SEALFIT. In this conversation, Michael traces the line from a mislabeled “learning disabled” kid to a clinician and coach who helps people regulate their nervous systems, deepen relationships, and live with agency.

We talk about:

Thank you for listening.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

01:43 Who Is Michael Ostrolenk?

04:45 Questioning Education and Early Struggles

08:47 Alternative Healing and Martial Arts at Age Nine

11:12 Rethinking Education for Children

17:07 Holistic Approaches for Parents

20:51 Parenting, Pressure, and the 80/20 Rule

23:34 Perspectives on Ritalin and Concerta

29:26 Creativity, School, and Medication

33:36 Origins of the Industrial Education System

42:02 Turning Point: From MBA to Psychology

47:06 Exploring Transpersonal Psychology

52:46 Psychedelics, Therapy, and Consciousness

54:07 Understanding Mind–Body Connection

01:00:06 Working With Couples and Emotions

01:11:59 Practical Habits for Sleep, Diet, and Movement

01:17:45 Breathing and Guided Meditation for Sleep

01:23:56 Morning Rituals and Preparation Practices

01:28:50 Tracking Progress and Measuring Change

01:33:59 Mindfulness vs. Consciousness

01:39:01 What Lack of Mindfulness Looks Like

01:45:40 Does Mindfulness Make Life More Frustrating?

01:48:09 Agreements, Relationships, and Appreciation

01:58:40 Final Thoughts

MICHAEL OSTROLENK LINKS:

Michael's Youtube Channel

Michael's LinkedIn

Michael's Instagram

Michael's X

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Is family court protecting you or enabling abuse? In this episode, high-conflict divorce coach Lisa Johnson of Been There Got Out breaks down how “legal abuse” and coercive control play out in real cases, and why smart strategy (and not just righteousness) wins in court. Drawing from her own litigation (including arguing an appeal herself that resulted in a published decision in the Connecticut Law Journal), Lisa shows how to navigate a system that often rewards gamesmanship over truth.

We talk about:

If you’re facing a high-conflict ex, custody battles, or a court process that feels endless, Lisa’s playbook offers clarity, language, and leverage you can use immediately.

Thank you for listening.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

01:33 Lisa's Background

04:14 Early Red Flags

06:42 The Discovery and Denial

11:03 Telling the Kids

12:31 Betrayal Trauma & Identity Shock

20:15 Couples Counseling Gone Wrong

25:39 Why He Fought to Keep Control

33:14 Filing for Divorce & His Exit

41:23 Fighting for College Support & Enforcement

50:38 Going Pro Se & Facing Retaliation

57:32 How to Persuade a Court: Logos, Pathos, Ethos

1:10:05 Legal Gaslighting & Getting Help

1:16:21 Strategic Communication: Build Your Paper Trail

1:20:02 Proving You’re a Good Parent

1:24:44 Shielding Kids From Court Conflict

1:27:18 Jennifer’s Law, Coercive Control & Orders With Teeth

1:35:43 From Survivor to Coach

1:45:02 Key Advice for Listeners

1:47:00 Final Thoughts & Outro

LISA JOHNSON LINKS:

Been There Got Out Website

Been There Got Out on Instagram

Been There Got Out on X

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Joshua Spatha majored in anthropology with a minor in Old Testament studies and has served in full-time missions since 2006, primarily across the Middle East and Asia. An ordained minister and disciple‑maker with Youth With A Mission (YWAM), Joshua blends frontline ministry with academic insight, as he prepares for long-term ministry in Central Asia.

In our conversation, you'll hear how Western culture’s reliance on materialism and humanism has fueled a deep meaning crisis, and why happiness alone no longer sustains us. Joshua shares compelling analogies to illustrate how adopting a self‑centered framework inevitably leads to emptiness and incoherence. He challenges the question, “What’s in it for me?” as the wrong foundation.

This episode is not just about morality: it’s about how reason and spiritual depth intertwine, why faith isn’t a blind leap, and how a rational embrace of the supernatural reclaims meaning.

Thank you for listening.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

01:44 The Modern Meaning Crisis

07:48 Enlightenment’s Impact on Faith

11:23 From Religion to Self-Focus

14:55 Science, Truth & Worldviews

20:02 Personal Meaning vs Objective Reality

31:45 Christianity’s Case for Human Flourishing

36:49 Secular Morality Under the Microscope

44:42 Chaos, Materialism & Ethics

01:07:16 Implicit Spirituality & Cognitive Dissonance

01:16:29 The Universal Conscience

01:19:29 Free Will and Belief Change

01:53:39 Miracles: Chance or Design?

02:22:05 Practicing and Testing Faith

02:32:47 Final Thoughts & Outro

JOSHUA SPATHA LINKS:

Joshua's Website & Book

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Andrew-Ryan Profaci thought he found spiritual truth, but instead became entangled in the bizarre world of a modern cult known as “Love Has Won.” Driven by curiosity and a deep desire for meaning, Andrew-Ryan quickly rose from outsider to insider, witnessing firsthand the manipulation tactics of cult leader Amy Carlson, referred to by members as “Mother God,” whom he once cared for deeply.

In this raw and honest conversation, we talk about: 

- What initially drew Andrew to the cult known as "Love Has Won."

- A vivid portrayal of daily life within the cult.

- The leadership’s layered control tactics and massive financial exploitation.

- An individual who secretly orchestrated and controlled the cult behind the scenes.

- What really happened before and directly after Amy Carlson’s death, and why Andrew now speaks out.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

02:26 What Is “Love Has Won”?

04:09 From Community to Cult

06:11 The Origins: Amy Carlson’s Intentions

09:47 Andrew’s Journey Begins

11:08 Searching for Meaning: Why People Join

15:41 Missing Self-Love and Authenticity

17:42 Manipulation & Control Tactics

18:57 Patterns in Cult Dynamics

23:51 Daily Life Inside the Cult

27:46 Recruitment and Indoctrination Process

30:26 Cult Hierarchy

33:10 Andrew’s Inner Conflict: Amy vs. “Mother God”

40:51 How Media Portrayed Amy Carlson

43:16 Behind the Persona: Why Amy Became “Mother God”

48:19 Miguel Lamboy: The "Hidden Hand"

56:03 Andrew vs. Miguel: The Proxy War

58:06 Challenging Amy’s Delusions

01:05:37 Descent into Darkness: Cult’s Final Days

01:13:23 Did Resistance Make Things Worse?

01:16:29 The Consequences of Leaving “Love Has Won”

01:23:34 Redefining Love and Trust

01:28:18 Amy’s Death: Tragedy & Questions Unanswered

01:42:48 Amy: Victim or Perpetrator?

01:47:36 Final Words to Amy

01:49:00 Why Andrew Speaks Out

01:55:59 Final Thoughts

ANDREW-RYAN PROFACI LINKS:

Andrew's Website & Books

Andrew's Instagram

Andrew's LinkedIn

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

After decades of guiding couples through their most challenging moments, Dr. Bruce Chalmer understands what truly brings relationships to life. With a deeply personal journey from statistics to psychology, Bruce discovered that helping couples navigate intimacy, stability, and the complexities of forgiveness wasn’t just a profession. It was a calling.

In our conversation, Bruce explores profound insights on what makes relationships thrive or fail. He thoughtfully challenges common assumptions, offering the provocative question: “Do you feel alive in your relationship?” Bruce delves into why many couples drift apart, becoming roommates instead of romantic partners, and how they can rekindle lost connections. We also explore how infidelity, while deeply traumatic, can paradoxically create opportunities for renewed intimacy and trust.

This episode is a meditation on the meaning of commitment, why marriage matters very deeply, and how embracing the discomfort of honesty can lead couples toward genuine fulfillment and emotional closeness.

Thank you for listening.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

01:55 Discovering a Calling in Relationship Therapy

04:13 Career Transitions and Finding Purpose

06:04 Couples Therapy vs. Relationship Therapy: Clarifying Terms

07:55 Coaching vs. Therapy: The Real Differences

09:46 How Couples Therapy Actually Works

12:34 Marriage as a Path to Growth

17:28 Why Marriage Rates Are Declining

21:53 Cultural and Economic Reasons Behind Fewer Marriages

29:22 Why We Still Romanticize Marriage

31:52 Stability vs. Intimacy in Relationships

39:02 Emotional Bank Accounts in Marriage

41:20 Why Being Annoyed is Actually Good

45:10 Understanding the True Value of Marriage

51:16 The Difference Between a Contract and a Covenant

56:33 The Psychological Damage of Infidelity

01:00:06 Forgiveness, Trust, and Moving Forward

01:09:35 Why Faith is Essential in Relationships

01:12:03 Are Humans Biologically Monogamous?

01:20:41 How Do I Know if I’m a Good Partner?

01:32:45 How Can You Tell if a Marriage is Fundamentally Healthy?

01:34:43 When Relationships Feel Like Roommates

01:40:36 Reaching Heaven by Passing Through Hell

01:51:31 When to Seek Couples Therapy

01:58:09 What Relationships Truly Represent

02:05:44 Final Thoughts

BRUCE CHALMER LINKS:

Bruce's Website & Books

Couples Therapy in Seven Words Podcast (Apple)

Couples Therapy in Seven Words Podcast (Spotify)

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

What does true evil look like? And how do you confront it face-to-face? In this raw conversation with Brad Beeler, who served as a Special Agent for the United States Secret Service for 25 years, we explore his extraordinary career confronting humanity’s darkest crimes, especially those involving children. Brad reveals a rarely-seen side of the United States Secret Service, reflecting deeply on his experiences as a polygraph examiner, where he faced some of the most malicious individuals imaginable.

In our conversation, we also discuss:

Brad’s story is profoundly human, exploring the complex layers of morality, ethical boundaries, and personal resilience required to confront humanity’s most troubling personalities.

Thank you for listening.

EPISODE LINKS:

Buy Tell Me Everything (Book)

By using this link, we earn commission from qualifying purchases.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

02:19 Brad’s Most Proud Career Achievement

03:09 Secret Service Beyond Presidential Protection

05:31 Future of Secret Service Investigations

06:55 Inside the Trump Assassination Attempts

10:22 Debunking Trump Assassination Conspiracies

14:21 Conspiracy Theories and Media Polarization

16:53 Strategies for Distinguishing Truth from Falsehood

20:03 Building Trust and Rapport

23:38 The Role of Empathy in Criminal Investigations

41:58 The Psychological Cost of Interviewing Criminals

46:13 Combating Child Exploitation: Global Collaboration

49:00 Navigating Legal Complexities in International Law Enforcement

50:32 Four Key Behavioral Analysis Questions

01:00:12 Detecting Deception in Interviews

01:15:34 Negotiation Techniques: Tactical Empathy & Body Language

01:28:38 Recognizing Manipulation and Assessing Intentions

01:33:00 Does True Evil Exist?

01:40:57 Brad’s Perspective on Humanity

01:44:14 Overcoming Personal and Professional Setbacks

01:46:32 “Tell Me Everything”: Brad’s Upcoming Book

01:47:36 Final Thoughts

BRAD BEELER LINKS:

Brad's LinkedIn

Brad's Instagram 

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

In a vulnerable and deeply reflective conversation, personal growth coach Kristan Swan and Jeffrey delve into a quiet fear that most of us carry: the anxiety about being misunderstood or misrepresented by others. Through candid storytelling and authentic introspection, Kristan shares how the shadows of past experiences and the fear of judgment often hinder our ability to form meaningful connections and trust in relationships.

The episode moves organically through themes of nostalgia, self-awareness, curiosity, and spirituality, exploring how each plays a role in our perceptions of self and our courage to authentically engage with others. This is a conversation without a clear angle, yet circles around how to navigate conversations and relationships with honesty and genuine empathy.

Thank you for listening.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

05:31 The Problem With Asking “What Do You Do?”

07:37 Societal Undervaluation of Motherhood

13:49 The Human Need for Connection

15:26 Embracing Spontaneous Conversations

24:20 Polarization and the Desire for Belonging

26:57 Why We Struggle to Change Our Minds

34:42 Navigating Opposing Truths

36:11 The Danger of Nostalgia

54:56 Defining Nostalgia

01:01:19 The Nature of Spirituality

01:08:36 Secular Spirituality and Trusting Yourself

01:17:38 Allowing Yourself to Feel Fully

01:25:37 Loneliness and the Need to Be Heard

01:33:47 What Do You Love About Life?

01:34:51 Final Thoughts

KRISTAN SWAN LINKS:

Kristan's Website

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Joel Bouchard, philosophy podcaster and author of From Nowhere to Nothing, joins me for an intellectually intense exploration into some of life’s deepest philosophical dilemmas. In this episode, Joel skillfully unpacks intricate issues like the nature of good and evil, whether humans are inherently moral beings, and if true free will even exists.

In our conversation, we talk about:

Thank you for listening.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

02:12 Who Is Joel Bouchard?

03:53 What Philosophy Actually Is

07:09 Implicit vs Explicit Philosophy

10:09 Is Life Worth Living?

13:40 Religion, Atheism, and Nihilism

17:21 Hedonism and Absurdism

21:17 The Psychology of Belief

28:08 A Personal Story of Loss

31:50 Symbolism and Rituals in Human Life

39:45 The Ethical Debate Around Pets

45:52 Defining Good and Evil

51:06 Why Does Evil Exist?

01:13:15 Free Will vs Limited Will

01:25:14 Where Does Consciousness Come From?

01:29:37 The Nature of Conscience

01:47:00 Is Life Deterministic or Not?

02:00:12 The Magpie and Meaningful Coincidences

02:11:57 Final Thoughts & Outro

JOEL BOUCHARD LINKS:

From Nowhere to Nothing Podcast (Spotify)

From Nowhere to Nothing Podcast (Apple)

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Is everyone suddenly a narcissist, or are we misusing the term? Dr. Sterlin Mosley, Professor of Human Relations and author of The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else, dives deep into the misunderstood realms of narcissism and empathy. Through an eye-opening conversation, Sterlin reveals why our culture casually labels selfish behaviors as narcissistic, and why real narcissism goes much deeper, intertwining with empathy. Or rather, the lack of it.

In our conversation, you’ll discover:

Thank you for listening.

EPISODE LINKS:

Buy Center of the Universe (Book)

Buy The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else (Book)

By using these links, we earn commission from qualifying purchases.

SHOW LINKS:

Support the Show on: Patreon

Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify

Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn

OUTLINE:

00:00 Introduction

01:10 Who is Sterlin Mosley?

04:41 The Narcissist Label in Modern Society

08:37 Breaking Down the 27 Types of Narcissists

12:24 How to Identify a Narcissist: Common Misunderstandings

20:11 Strategies for Dealing with Different Narcissists

27:57 Do Narcissists Know They’re Narcissists?

35:49 Healthy Narcissism Explained

39:54 Is Narcissism a Choice?

47:47 Can Narcissism Be Cured or Managed?

52:53 Empathy vs. Sympathy: Clarifying the Differences

58:24 Narcissism, Envy, and Power Dynamics

01:04:11 Understanding Empathy: Definitions and Nuances

01:10:20 Cognitive Empathy and Human Connection

01:19:39 Practical Steps to Develop Your Empathy

01:24:24 Final Thoughts & Outro

STERLIN MOSLEY LINKS:

Sterlin's LinkedIn

Sterlin's Instagram

CONTACT LINKS:

Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.