Wow!

This is it.

I’m unfortunately closing on a down note — felt sick yesterday, and a massive sinus/migraine headache took me out in the mid afternoon. I’ve slept for a chunk and am feeling a bit better, but am still pretty rocky.

I guess that’s kind of appropriate, because this really has been a “rain or shine” endeavour for 1000 days — I wound up having to pre-record some days, and I think there may have been a make-good once, but it’s legitimately 1000 things under my belt.

What started as a personal accountability dealie about sobriety (still solid!) became a much more generic getting-better kind of thing. And while the sobriety held, I didn’t really make a lot of progress in the other areas.

Not to say I didn’t get better. We get better all the time, I think, and I’ve learned a lot about myself and what works and doesn’t work for me. I haven’t found the right combination of things that lead to meaningful weight/fitness transformation, but I’ve learned a lot about myself, and about mindfulness, and about how important it is to think about this stuff.

So while I’m not at my fightin’ weight and eating like a (vegan) champion, I’ve definitely picked up a thing or two about what motivates me to do that. What keeps me motivated to do that is the mystery, but that’s another thing for… I was going to say another day, and that’s true, but not another day in this space.

I think the key thing I’ve learned is that it is important to take time to think about yourself. Maybe not every morning — one of the things that bugs me about this project is that — magpie mind — it wasn’t my only focus, so a lot of the time it was rote, a box to check before I left the house for the day.

Deep thought about who you are, and what you value, and what you’re trying to achieve, is important.

Which I… didn’t do with this space a lot of the time. Hm.

Maybe that, on top of all the stuff, is what I’ve learned? It’s important to think about yourself periodically, and, like, really think about it. I tend to autopilot, and I think I made the most progress when I was taking this project most seriously — which would have been when I was thinking about it the most.

Sooooo yeah. Not box-checking thought but real self-reflection. Setting time aside for it, even if I’m not doing a daily dealio about this stuff.

I wish I didn’t feel terrible for the last day of this! But what can you do. That’s kind of the point of it — ups and downs, ins and outs. I’ve learned a lot, and I’ll probably keep the project live for a while in case it’s of use to anybody else.

Maybe I’ll even revive it in the future! Especially if I find something that works for me.

For now, though, this is a wrap!

Thanks for being part of this. It’s been a hoot. See you at Dry & Mighty next week!

Let’s put a pin in this thing ironically! I think I’m coming down with something — my wife’s been unwell for the last couple of days too — so today was “get up, feel lousy, feed the cats, back to bed.” Kinda doin’ the old snuffle-and-sneeze at my computer right now.

So we’re definitely not ending this project with a bang, but a hopeful note regardless — despite current circumstances I’m energized for Dry and Mighty, work’s going well, and the LLM is … a lotta reading, but under control.

Tomorrow’s the last day of this, but green pastures ahead! Higher education, a cool new project with my wife, and a new health-and-fitness approach that doesn’t stake everything on typing and saying stuff each morning. Will it work? Dunno! But I’m looking forward to finding out.

Insomnia’s goofy!

So one of the can’t sleep thoughts last night… maybe, after the self-affirmation and rocking through the first sobriety hump, the “foreverness” of this project was actually helping me put off improvements.

Maybe that’s a weird crazy insomnia-driven cop-out.

But rounding out the 1000 days, with sobriety in the “success” column and “great fitness” in the “loss” column, my inherent yo-yoiness is a subject of great curiosity, if not a bit of irritation. Not hopelessness; I still think there’s a method or a key out there that’ll get me consistent.

Maybe not doing something daily will get me more focused on long-term, annual gains and out of the “no need to act immediately, tomorrow’s another podcast” mindset. Maybe that’s wishful thinking! I guess we’ll find out starting in… three days?

Also, I think I’m getting a cold.

I’m tired enough that I’m really worried about that apostrophe.

There’s something about transitory stress and ongoing stress that’s worth unpacking here, I think. I’m going through transitory stress, and that’s giving me some insomnia, which isn’t great. But I can still recognize it as transitory stress.

So I know it’s going to pass. It doesn’t make the insomnia easier in the short term, but it keeps my mood from getting worse — this is insomnia like “something fell outside” insomnia, not insomnia like “it’s all gone wrong forever” insomnia.

Three days to go on this thing! Then over to Dry & Mighty semi-permanently; looking forward to that.

Nothing too dramatic, just got distracted this morning; normal exercise, good morning so far. About 20 minutes behind because I was INTERNETTING, which I should know better than to do.

Uh… all’s well! This all feels very rote, which is a bit of a shame this close to the end. I’m tracking food again (hooray!) and exercising regularly (hooray!), leading a conversation in my LLM class today (I’m nervous but well prepared; hooray!), Dry and Mighty is a bit stalled because I’m rounding this out and the radio show as well but those’ll be done soon (hooray!).

Man, that’s a lot of good news! Yesterday’s “end on a whimper” was about not having a Grand Thesis for this project to cap it off, but I’m definitely going out on a high note personally and professionally.

This is, I’m sorry to say, not going to end with a great thesis. I’m doing fine, but stumbling toward Day 1000 with a lot of work and school juggling — exercise is okay, food is not good but I’m getting back on that today. I haven’t done any Dry and Mighty stuff for a week. Again, that’s not something I’m fretting about; this and the WAFFLES! time will be that time.

The upshot being, I’m kind of limping my way to the finish. I’m happy to be here, don’t get me wrong, but this isn’t going to end with a tremendous essay or a huge shebang.

This sounds more depressing than it is (especially the title!). Things are good! I’m just chuggin’ along here. I just felt like 1000 was a big enough number that it might seem like I should be doing something cool.

I’m not, except 1000 of these things. That’s pretty cool.

It’s Sunday! The one official sleep-in day of the week. I’m about to head back to bed, after a 120-page reading and annotation day yesterday — my brain is full — but with a bunch’o stuff to do today as well.

A good day to reboot food tracking as well; it’s been sloppy for a while, and I suspect if I get on the scales right now I’ll be displeased. I’m using the studying thing as an excuse, which I promised myself I wouldn’t do.

I have to confess it’s a lot — which is a good thing in a lot of ways. But it’s pulling almost all my focus, so this is going to be phoned in until the 1000th, and I’m really glad I only have one WAFFLES! left before that concludes.

I’m also frontloading some of the work, which is smart (I hope) — maybe not absolutely the best for grades, but good for sanity and planning.

So: back to bed, then plan my food day, then… more reading! Big brain stuff. Nobody said it was going to be easy!

Allergies are up and down; last night was rough, with snuffling getting me up periodically. I’m also starting to feel the Masters pressure — it’s a lot of reading (170 pages this week alone), and I’m also supposed to be writing comments, and leading a discussion next Tuesday — not saying it’s an impossible load, but it’s definitely a challenging one.

The weekend is going to be radio show (two to go), and reading, reading, reading. This is apparently an atypically heavy week, so the pace is going to let up a bit; this is a lifestyle choice I’m going to have to roll with for the next two years.

On the bright side, the material is interesting! It’s a slog to read in the “academic writing is a pain” sense, but I’m learning a lot, and it’s interesting stuff to learn.

Feeling better, suddenly — maybe this was a bit of an autumn cold that coincided with allergies around me? Maybe my allergies are weird? Who knows.

But taking a day of exercise definitely reinforced that I’ve been kind of phoning it in with exercise for a little while, and not doing my food tracking either. This was expressly not supposed to happen when I started school… my monastic student life was supposed to have exercise and good eatin’ on the menu, dammit.

I think Dry and Mighty might actually be a better enforcement mechanism than this, actually. Something to discuss with my wife — a weekly responsibility thing where we check in on this stuff.

Oh, man! I have not had allergies my whole life, but now, these last few years… POW. This week has been especially brutal, and I literally hit the wall this morning… so, bonus sleep.

Am I thrilled by this? No. Did I need this? I’d argue yes — up a lot of the night either actively awake and snuffling, or semi-sleeping because I’d be snorting and congested. So the extra hour of super sleep after thoroughly emptying my sinuses was a huge help.

As usual when I’ve done the back to bed thing, it’s a bit of a hustle out the door at this point… class this morning, then work.