(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!)

From wikipedia: Laughing is a reaction to certain stimuli. It may ensue from hearing a joke, being tickled, or other stimuli. Most commonly, it is considered a visual expression of a number of positive emotional states, such as joy, mirth, happiness, relief, etc.

I picked Laughter as a Word to Live By because, well, we gotta laugh about "it."

Think about the best days in your life so far. Was laughter involved? Probably. I think about times with my parents - I often think about laughing at the dinner table - joking and ribbing each other. My mother and I are both Tauruses and she often said we were both stubborn and we'd 'disagree in a fun way'. I'd kid with her and my dad would laugh knowing that only I could get away with it.

"Laughter is America's most important export. " Walt Disney

I think about joking with my sisters and the typical brother/sister teasing and jokes. I recall laughing with them when I was young - we'd wrestle and I'd try to play tricks on them or tease them as their little brother.

I love to watch the outtakes from movies - you know when they show how the actors mess up, bloopers , and the whole crew breaks into spontaneous laughter? I haven't watched the movie for over 20 years but I can still laugh when I think about the outtakes from Smokey and the Bandit for Dom Deluise and Burt Reynolds. (I think that they may be much better than the actual movie!) I love to watch bloopers and those 'funniest home video' type of shows where we can all laugh at the happenings of others.

I think about good times in school, high school and college. I really enjoyed a practical joke, although harmless ones, on friends. I remember "setting a locker" of a friend so that when he opened it, a bunch of pop cans fell out, making a large noise and having the whole hallway of high school kids erupt in laughter. I'd sometimes "set lockers" of high school girls with a silly stuffed animal so that they'd scream loudly when they opened it, only to find a cute little stuffed toy. I still laugh now about that stuff and have difficulty stopping.

In college, armed with a big roll of shrink wrap, I would wrap someone's dorm room in the clear plastic; TV, pillows, mattress, etc. I'd laugh the whole time and for days after. One guy came in and saw what I'd done and didn't remove it from his mattress for a few days, sleeping in the plastic.

When I was and still am with my close friends, it is about laughter. When I started dating my wife, and for years since, we laughed a lot. (I know that I really have her going when I can't hear her - she is a silent laugher.) I recall times when we'd laugh so much our faces and stomachs hurt. We laughed at dumb things we've done, laugh about movies, laugh about life.

"Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play also adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humor is a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times." from the article Laughter is the Best Medicine http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm

Some of the most enjoyable laughter is from my daughters. When they were young, they laughed at my dad's jokes and tricks. They'd laugh when we'd wrestle. They'd laugh a silly things and things we adults don't think about enough. There is nothing like the unabridged version of a child laughing hard at something - full out. I recall their laughter as I tickled them. We still laugh together as a family often, now my girls are better able to 'dish it out' as much as they can take a joke.

We have a quote in my girls' bathroom, something to the effect that a smile is all the makeup that anyone needs.

There is nothing better than the laughter that comes deep from your gut, that comes rolling out of your mouth, that laughter that makes you bend over in joy, that makes you laugh until you cry.

Like anyone, we've encountered tough financial times, personal losses, and other challenges in life. Laughter makes it so much easier. Laughter releases that pressure and tension.

"Laughter is an instant vacation." - Milton Berle

I can think of moments that were some of the best, yet worst moments of my life. Perhaps I was sad or depressed or somehow down about something, the tension was tight, and then suddenly, one of us said or did something and we broke into laughter about something and the problem seemed at least a little easier to deal with.....I think we all NEED to laugh often in life.

Hearing laughter brings laughter- it is contagious. Here is a site, one of many, with free audio sound bites of laughter. Laugh it up - http://soundbible.com/tags-laughter.html

I found a few great resources about laughter. One offers a list of the many benefits of laughter:

Physical Health Benefits:

Boosts immunity

Lowers stress hormones

Decreases pain

Relaxes your muscles

Prevents heart disease

Mental Health Benefits:

Adds joy and zest to life

Eases anxiety and fear

Relieves stress

Improves mood

Enhances resilience

Social Benefits:

Strengthens relationships

Attracts others to us

Enhances teamwork

Helps defuse conflict

Promotes group bonding

Laughter makes you feel good. And the good feeling that you get when you laugh remains with you even after the laughter subsides. Humor helps you keep a positive, optimistic outlook through difficult situations, disappointments, and loss.

Source: http://www.helpguide.org

Let's face it, laughing helps us in many ways....it washes away 'bad' emotions, gives us a fresh perspective on a situation, helps us loosen up in a hurry, and it helps us recover from something.

"It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either. "

Wayne Dyer

Want to laugh more? Get a pet…

Most of us have experienced the laughter of having a pet, playing with it, watching it grow as a puppy, and pets are a rewarding way to bring more laughter into your home. Simply having a pet is good for your mental and physical health. There are many 'pet therapy' related studies show that pets can protect you depression, stress, and even heart disease.

Ideas for laughing more:

Make a list of things for which you are grateful for, and what's funny. You need to actually make a physical list, take the time and write it. List good things, funny things.

Smile more - it takes less muscles to smile than frown. Studies show that even fake smiles make you feel better over time. Smiling grows to others. Smiling leads to laughing.

Spend time with people who laugh - avoid negative people and negative discussions. Do the people you spend time with make you feel upbeat or negative?

Ask better questions - ask "what is funny about this situation?" "How can I make someone laugh about this?" "What am I happy about?" or "What makes me laugh?" Look for humor in more situations.

Laugh at yourself. Keep things in perspective.

Act like a child - at least observe how they can be uninhibited, how they enjoy the moment, how they laugh without pretense.

go to your favorite search engine and type in 'bloopers'

We need to laugh more and seek stress reducing humor in our everyday lives. Laughter is the human gift for coping and for survival. Laughter ringing, laughter pealing, laughter roaring, laughter bubbling. Chuckling. Giggling. Snickering. Snorting. These are the sounds of soul saving laughter which springs from our emotional core and helps us feel better, see things more clearly, and creatively weigh and use our options. Laughter helps us roll with the punches that inevitably come our way. The power of laughter is unleashed every time we laugh. In today's stressful world, we need to laugh much more.

Laughter Therapist, Enda Junkins,

We are a serious nation with serious people who have serious health problems, many of which are related to stress. Laughter relieves stress. Through laughter we cope with our fear and anger, the two emotions which result in stress.

It allows us to be creative and to work harder but more comfortably.

It decreases isolation. Laughter allows us to bond with other people and ease our loneliness.

It's contagious. Laughter creates laughter. Allowing laughter to swell into a movement across the land would reduce our growing anger and violence.

It's universal. Everybody can laugh. Human beings are born with the gift of laughter. A sense of humor is not necessary to laugh.

It reduces aggression and conflict. People laughing are unable to hold each other at sword point. Some how there is no longer a point, only acceptable differences.

(the above list is from http://laughtertherapy.com)

There is so much information on the benefits of laughter. We all need to loosen up a bit and have a little more fun. We can all laugh a little more at ourselves. We can gain from laughing in the moment with a friend. Laughter enriches our lives. ..plus it's pretty darn funny.

Here's a list of the "Top 10 Films with the highest 'laugh a minute' scores:

http://www.skynews.com.au/showbiz/article.aspx?id=793160

Here's a parting wish to you to have joy and laughter throughout your days, to find laughter in the moments of your life, and to laugh and love with those you care about....

A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin

From Deepak Chopra “The universe operates through dynamic exchange… giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.”

This quote is from Chopra’s book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”. I recommend it.

Nothing is static in our lives, right? Our bodies, minds, families, friends, etc. Even though which seem static are not- the mountains and the earth. There is an exchange or giving and taking, back and forth, right? So is it with energy too, correct? Life is the flow of things in a harmonious manner. Generally our bodies, nature, seeks balance.

In the book Chopra talks about the work “affluence”. He says it comes from the word affluere….which means “to flow to”. The word affluence means “to flow in abundance.” We use money as a representation of something – energy, product, service, etc.Interestingly enough Chopra also points out that the word currency comes from the Latin word “currere”. which means “to run” or to flow.

So, at least in reference to money, if we stop the circulation of money (or anything else) and if we intend on holding onto the money or to hoard it, then the energy will stop its circulation back into our lives.

“Like a river,” says Chopra, “money must keep flowing, otherwise it begins to stagnate, to clog, to suffocate and strangle its very own life force. Circulation keeps it alive and vital.”

Any healthy relationship, service, existence is a give and take, right? There is balance in all things.

A tiny mustard seed can grow into something large. A kernel of corn can produce many more….yet we can’t hoard the seeds.

The more you give, the more you receive, says Chopra…..because you will keep the abundance of the universe circulating in your life. Chopra also points out that the ‘intention behind your giving and receiving is the most important thing.’

OK – I read this a few times. I actually read this when I was very tight financially. I owed a few credit cards, was behind on things, and I was hoarding money so I could buy gas one week. I was not clear how I could practice this law. Chopra gave some good examples though -

“If you want joy, give joy to others; if you want love, give and learn to love. If you want material affluence, help others to become materially affluent. In fact the easiest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.”

So when we wait in the line at the grocery store and see that weird looking person, or that person taking too long, or anyone…..why not give them a blessing – the same blessing or prayer that perhaps we’d desire. A simple prayer or wish. We can stand there and stare at the person who is being a pain, taking too long, letting their kids touch all the things on the shelf, etc. We can grumble to ourselves and pass judgement. We can stand there and wallow in our own particular problem or issue.

Or we can send a prayer, a wish for peace, a wish for abundance their way. How would that change your world? Chopra talks that we are all localized bundles of energy and information – and consciousness. We are bundles of though in a thinking universe…and thought has the power to transform.

So what can you do today? I’d suggest that we start and make a decision that anytime you come into contact with anyone, give them ‘something’. Maybe nothing material – maybe a prayer, wish, compliment, smile, etc. Chopra points out that things like caring, attention, affection, appreciation are some of the most powerful and precious gifts that we can offer.

I know that I have,….and still do… say something to myself like “How can I give to others when I don’t have enough myself right now?” Write a note, make them laugh, share a good story, ask – really ask – about them and their dreams.

The more you give, the easier it is. The more you’ll get a hang for it and the more confidence you’ll have. There is no scarcity on love, joy, happiness, or abundance. By its very nature, the word abundance means overflowing – we can’t run out. We have an overabundance of so many things in our lives that we can all give. Giving flips a switch whereby we’re not tense, closed, and concerned but open, warm, and inviting. Giving makes us feel more confident than when we hold back or hoard.

If you seek peace, give it. If you seek help, offer it. If you seek friendship, be a friend.

Giving sends our minds and hearts a signal that things are ok, things will be OK.

In closing, I am reminded by a child’s book that I used to read to my daughters, “Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids ” by Carol McCloud. If you have a child, buy it. If not, you should still read it the next time you’re at the library or B&N. If you “fill someone’s bucket” you fill your own bucket, and everyone observing you gets their buckets filled. There are actually studies that show our endorphins improve when we help another person – and observes get a nice splash of endorphins too.

I leave by giving you a blessing for peace and prosperity.

www.onewebstrategy.com

A quick break from the Words to Live By to talk about Questions of Power. First, let me recognize Tony Robbins as really first bringing it to mind for me. There is another blogger out there that offers some coaching and some books under the title “Afformations” that also helped keep the power of questions in mind. His name is Noah St. John. I give them both credit and Kudos.

I am often guilty, as we all are, of asking myself questions that are not empowering. In fact they are often downright destructive.

If you’ve read my other blogs and posts you’ve learned that, probably like you, I’ve had some really tough spots. I mentioned the year 2009 was pretty tough for me. I lost several loved ones that year, lost my job, and had a tough time financially, personally.

Things actually started going quite bad for me financially in 2008. An investment property took longer to get ready, because I wanted to do it all on my own. I missed a window of opportunity, and it sat vacant for 15 months. Ouch. I started asking, “can it get any worse?” I sold it for a big loss. Investment property #2 rented quickly and looked OK for a while, but then many, many things went wrong. I often asked “how can it get worse?” Guess what? I found out.

2009 came, I lost too many people that I cared about. I lost my income. I lost some of my confidence and pride. I asked again “what else can go wrong?”

Well, I’m not going to go on and on about what else did go wrong today, but things definitely did. It seemed that I was practicing the Law of Unattraction. I’d fix one thing, another would come up. I’d get $1500 coming in and I’d have to spend $1600. I was asking things like “Why Me?” “Why am I so unlucky?” “Why can’t I find a job?” “why do I feel so bad?”….you get the idea. I hate to even list the questions now. There were more.

I wish that I could say that I changed my questions one week and it all turned around overnight. Instead I can tell you that little by little I started asking better questions. I read some things here and there and it gained momentum in my cranium.

I started asking myself things like “What am I excited about…. What am I grateful for….What do I enjoy…..What am I happy about…. And then I started even using things …what Could I be happy about, etc.”

I had index cards and recordings of questions like “Why am I so happy?” “How am I paying off my debt so quickly?” I even was asking myself questions like “How can I find a job that pays over $XX,000 that is fulfilling and that I enjoy?”

I began to get specific on some subjects. I can’t say that when I asked about a better paying job that I got a call the next week. But I eventually found something and even if I had not, it kept my mind on the right thing and I felt better – I was searching for what was working and what might work in my life, rather than what didn’t.

In Pscyho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz MD, they say that the mind is like a computer. Ask a question and the mind will try to answer it – especially if you ask it over and over. If you ask – even in a kidding, joking manner – “how could I be so dumb?” Eventually, if not immediately, the mind will search for answers and will find them, at least on an unconscious level. It’s about focus. You’ve heard about a self-fulfilling prophecy, right?

Why not throw some better questions into your life. “What can I learn from this?” “Is there a way that I can make money from this situation?” “Is there a way that I can be healthier?” Or maybe switch some of those old, bad questions around to something like “how can things get any better?” ---notice that it acts as a pattern interrupt. It stops you and ends the bad thought for a moment.

Then, actually take a moment and try to answer the question. How can things get better? First start off with some realistic things: I could find a quarter on the sidewalk, a $10 in my old jacket, I could be on-time, etc. Then throw in some cool things: I could accidentally run into a talent scout looking for my style, I could get a great idea to improve something on the way home, I could win money, I could find gold/jewelry/Babe Ruth’s rookie card, I could run into a billionaire who wants to pay me to help others.

Why not ask crazy good things? If nothing else, this exercise re-focuses you and now you’re thinking big time cool stuff right? I also read somewhere that an author asks himself “Wouldn’t it be cool if…..” then go crazy. That’s a lot better than saying, “why don’t I ever win things?” (or whatever).

Instead of “why is my boss a jerk?” or “I don’t like my boss.” Ask “How can I work better with my boss?” or “How can I find a job that I enjoy and that brings fulfillment?”

Can you create some questions for work? The family? Your health? Your dreams?

Try to be aware of your daily questions. Then stop the bad questions and create questions of power that get your thinking of opportunities, of possibilities, of good emotions, good situations, and good times. (Remember, like anything else, you must also take action.)

I’d like to ask you (really try to answer it), “What possibility excites you right now? Why? What can you do to move a step closer?

My best…..

So did you ever have one of those situations when you thought things were bad and then they kept getting worse? I had a year (2009) when I was unemployed (after the banking crisis) and had a tough time finding a new job. My wife's dear grandmother passed, then my dad passed away a few months later. That hurt big time. We took care of my mom, got her surgery, then found out she had cancer. She passed away just 5 weeks after my dad. That was tough. My wife's uncle and other grandmother passed away later that year. The job situation wasn't great.

I didn't understand or fathom how things could get that bad. I felt like I couldn't heal. But I did. I was able to land a nice job later, made connections with friends and new people. I connected myself to other good people out there. I find that almost everyone out there wants to help and work with a nice person.

Another time had to do with a situation I mentioned in other blogs. I was working for a small employer and it just wasn't working on so many levels. I had to move on. I was told by many that my resume looked bad because I didn't stay at each job long enough. A few employers told me I was skipped over because I had too much experience and they wanted to hire someone 'cheaper'. Of course other positions required more experience. Then, I found a job that really wanted me and I wanted them but my credit report lost the job for me. It was my responsibility - I had an investment property that went south and I let some payments go late and was late on others until I finally sold it. But this stuff was still on the credit report and kept me from getting hired at several jobs.I needed to make a certain level of income so any old job would not do. I was ready and willing to do basically anything.

So I was concerned that my employer would fire me, cut my income, and plus I was unhappy. I was concerned 'what if I lost my job tomorrow'. I had no reserves.

As I stated in earlier blogs, I was a nervous wreck. I'm not a nervous person. Some days I woke up and wanted to throw up. I wanted to give up. But like you, I didn't.

I focused on better things. I focused on good things I had - basically being grateful for them. I focused on what worked rather than what didn't work. I focused on my opportunities and other possible opportunities. I focused on other unlikely possibilities which helped me open my mind and brainstorm. I focused on taking action and sending resumes, connecting with others, etc. I focused on the great circle of friends and family I had and the great wife and two daughters.

I focused on answering the question; "how can things get any better?". I had a list of Tony Robbins' 'Power Questions' that helped me get started in the morning and adjust when I was in a bad state of mind.

More than anything, I think focusing on what I wanted helped. Many of us focus on what we don't want. We say "I don't like this situation/this action/this person."

Guess what, we still focus on it. Instead we need to say "I want and invite this situation/person/action/outcome." Then we work to make a plan and take action. We've all heard how our brains work on that which we focus- so give your brain the good stuff. Focus on what you want. (My advice is keep it more general and open so you keep open the possibilities. In other words if you say I want this specific job at $xx,0000 in this city - maybe its too specific? What if there is something so much better out there - and there is. Maybe ask "I want a job where I am happy, fulfilled, and I make a fabulous income well over $xx,000" - then think from the end and pretend it has already happened!)

Things got better. Even when there were hiccups, I didn't feel the negativity as much if at all because I was looking at the good stuff. I improved my health, my marriage improved, I stabilized my income, I was happier. I found a role/job for me that I really enjoyed, I was contributing (important to me) and I was fulfilled. I was able to make a nice income.

Again, I saw a Mike Dooley posting from tut.com and I again wanted to share it - it relates to the above. Here's to focusing on fun, happiness, abundance, love and good health.

From a Mike Dooley posting from tut.com

I have to admit, when we thought of adding the dimension of "time" to space, it was not wildly popular.

True, it would make possible evolution, reunions, and cute before-and-after photos. But it would add to the illusion of separation... "horror of horrors!" Spontaneous manifestations would spontaneously cease... "eee-gad!" And the only way anyone could get anything done, would be if they held onto and moved with their vision in thought, word, and deed, even when present circumstances appeared ABSOLUTELY unchanged for their efforts... yeah, "SIGN ME UP!!!!"

Thinking of you beaming with childlike joy -The Universe.

www.onewebstrategy.com

The second in the series Words to Live By. Today’s Word to Live By: Faith

In my first Words to Live By post I talked about Accepting where I was and even though I wanted to change it, I was better off accepting it and going with the flow rather than fighting it. It wasn’t about surrendering or giving up. InJapan, they actually have ‘accept’ as part of their thinking – inItalythere is a saying “there it is” or “there you have it”.

Today I want to talk about faith. Faith can obviously be about you, your God, the Universe, and in others. My situation was faith in me and in God. For you atheists and agnostics, don't worry, this still applies to you - faith in you and your neighbor.

In my first post I talked about how I was working for an employer that represented things one way at the beginning and things were much different shortly after I started. There were issues around payment to me, changes in strategy and he got hostile for all sorts of reasons. I thought life was miserable. I wanted to move on as soon as I could with a new job. The economy wasn’t great, I didn’t have any real capital or reserves, and I was having trouble getting an interview. Some people told me I had too much experience, that they typically hire graduates right out of college. Other jobs had requirements that I didn’t have, so I was underqualified.I did get a few offers but the pay rate was very low and it wouldn’t sustain my family.

I got upset each morning. My stomach was often sick. I think I had an ulcer. I had very little motivation. I spent lots of time thinking what would happen if I lost my job, all sort of things. I got panicked. As I said in the previous post, I then accepted the situation. I still sent out resumes, I connected with old colleagues and friends and I networked with new ones. I took action in typical ways and I tried to think of new ways to market myself.

It wasn’t easy but I had to let go. I had to have faith in my actions, in myself, in others, and in God/the Universe/The Source, or whatever you call it.

My wife reminded me that ‘it will work out’ and that I had options. I remember reading something that said ‘it is already working out’. Many things in life happen on a timeline that is different from what we want. I had to send the resumes, make the calls, reach out AND still work in my current job. By focusing on things that were positive, things that I was grateful for, and things that I could actually change, I felt better.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t just go about it with casual regard. I had lists and a plan. I did my thing but then I had to let go. I kept reminding myself that the new opportunity will probably be something that I can’t imagine how or what it is. Author Mike Dooley says that these are the ‘cursed how’s’ – in other words focusing on the how it often not a good thing. Focus on the why, focus on the end result that you want (the big picture), take action and then have faith that you’ll get there.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says we are connected to the Source. He says that when we are inspired, great things can happen. We need to let go and let God. Dyer talks about how our ego isn’t comfortable with this sort of thing, nor is our logic. I’m a big logic guy and while that helps in some cases, not when you need to have faith. Our egos say ‘I’m the one that will make it happen, its all about me’. While it may be true that we’re connected to it all and that we are brilliant beings, it is about much more than just ‘me’. The ego wants the credit. The logic wants the step by step plan. The fears in us want the certain and stability and security.

Faith is about a trust in ourselves. We can help this faith by looking back at positive references in our life. “I’ve been a great manager and had these challenges before and I can do things bigger than my current challenge” or whatever your situation is – you’ve probably faced something like it, or bigger, before – probably a few times – and you succeeded.

Faith is about trusting that the world is out to bring you good things – it is conspiring to help you. It is about having faith in your fellow human being. Yes, we all get slapped but generally life brings good.

Think about someone you know who is confident, has certainty, someone who has faith in themselves or faith in their life. They’re confident right? They are generally positive and probably better to be around than the person who is negative and doesn’t have faith.

Faith brought me good things. It wasn’t overnight but a better opportunity, a surprise, came to me. I also know that my quality of life was better once I embraced faith. Faith did bring me more happiness and more money, I am closer to abundance because of faith.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have faith that you will find this and read this at the right time in your life. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Good luck.

www.onewebstrategy.com

Hello all. I appreciate some of the comments, regardless what you think about my stuff. Feedback is good.

Memorial Day...we rememember those who fought for us and took care of us.

Those on the battle field, on the seas, in the air, giving their lives.

Those in the kitchen and behind the desks or on the shovels and hammers, giving their hearts.

This weekend I've been so lucky to be at a few good friends' houses and just to be there as myself. I golfed with a great buddy. We met new friends. Friends mean so much and I'm very grateful for our friends. I've had some challenges recently with work and been preoccupied but my encounters with my friends this weekend have reminded me what it is to let go, have faith, enjoy life. Some of them inspired me to do things on my own and do my own thing. They all reminded me how nice it is to be giving and hospitable.

I am so lucky and grateful for all of my close friends and the new ones.

I think without some of the friends and without their hospitality this weekend I think I might have had a tough weekend. I was able to relax, have fun, have a few drinks and enjoy things, thanks

Thanks to those new 'friends' reading this, maybe we can be friends someday.

Let's remember all those loved ones in our lives that made it possible. Thanks

www.onewebstrategy.com

I'm on a list from earlytorise.com and I often like their postings/messages. Good stuff from Early to Rise's Craig Ballantyne !!

This is an example right from Early To Rise's email - a great message and one that at least I identify with, I hope it helps you too. The bottom of the message is from another contributor and website called JasonLeister.com

FROM earlytorise.com - May 17, 2012..........

"Get Started Early

I was lucky. Early in my teenage years I knew what I wanted my life to look like, and I went about designing it from that day. If you didn't get started early on lifestyle design, the best you can do is start now. Today, Jason Leister shows you how.

Craig Ballantyne

You can't change your genetics, but you can change your attitude, your persistence, your environment, the people you listen to and hang around with, and the things you do. You can change, so if you want to, just get started.

Lifestyle Design With Six Kids

By Jason Leister

When I first read Tim Ferriss' book, The 4-Hour Workweek, I was pretty sucked in. Who wouldn't want to work for only 4 hours a week?

As it turns out, I wouldn't.

I derive a lot of meaning and pleasure from working hard. For me, creating something and sharing it with others makes me feel good. It is what I like to do.

But that's just me. And that's the point.

Designing your life means designing your life. Comments, questions and criticisms from others, while helpful, are largely irrelevant. The only thing that matters is how you want your life to go.

First, Step Inside Your Own Faraday Cage

In 1836, an English scientist, Michael Faraday, designed a unique device able to shield its contents from electromagnetic radiation. The device was aptly named, a Faraday Cage. Objects inside the cage were effectively cut-off from outside energetic interference, which proved very helpful in certain experiments.

If designing your life is an important priority for you, then the first step is to make sure that your goals, priorities and ideals for that life are in fact yours.

I started out life playing defense. That means I spent most of my time living up to other's expectations of me.

Living like that doesn't leave a lot of room for "lifestyle design" because frankly, you outsource that function to someone else... to everyone else actually.

Given my history, one of my (many) weaknesses is that I sometimes fall back into "dealing with what life dishes me" instead of actively creating my future.

This is irresponsible.

I know that sounds weak, but it's the truth. I reveal things like this in public forums because it provides instant accountability for me. By telling a few hundred thousand people, I'm inspired to become a better version of myself.

Weird, but it works for me.

If you're going to go to the trouble of designing your life the way you want it, then make sure you are clear about what you actually want.

This means cutting yourself off from the influence of what others might think about your decisions.

You have squash your need to "keep up with the Joneses" or anyone else, for that matter.

Why?

Well, the biggest reason is that there's a good chance...

The Joneses Are Idiots

The average person just isn't interested in living life at the level of excellence you probably are. So to look to them for anything (except for a good reminder of what not to do) is not helpful.

And so we go in search of people who do exhibit various levels of mastery in their lives. And that's when things can get even worse.

It's easy to look around at the lives of others and just accept that what they want for their life has anything to do with what you should want for yours.

It's easy to be enamored by someone's dedication to an ideal and think that you should exhibit that kind of dedication.

It's easy to be impressed by the material wealth of someone and think you should have that too.

This is living life from the outside in, if you ask me. And I think that is a mistake.

How to Stand as a Giant Among Men

I'm of the firm belief that the only really responsible way to live life is to have the guts to live it exactly as you want.

Don't want to make a million dollars? That's your choice.

Don't want to work 80 hours a week to be "successful?" Again, it's up to you.

Want to wake up and spend 6 hours a day playing with your children while they're young enough to still want to be seen with you? Go ahead.

To the average person, living your life with such blatant "disregard" for others might be interpreted as an extreme example of selfishness.

But to the average person, talking about the weather and what they had for dinner last night is interesting.

To me, having the guts and the clarity to live life as you see fit makes you a giant among men... or among women as the case may be.

The point is that your unique value as a human being deserves a unique expression in the world. And to do that, you need to live with a blatant disregard for the thoughts and opinions of others if you're going to be a good steward of your gifts.

Are There Limits to This Lifestyle Design Thing?

As I sit here writing this, my five children (with a sixth expected any day) are milling around my house. One just woke up, another is pushing a stroller, and still another is outside watching the guy pulling weeds on our property.

This is how I want to live my life. I sit here and think, write and sell things. As the years go by, my vision for exactly how that's supposed to look for me improves. My clarity improves. My focus improves too.

On certain days, the fact that some people think I'm nuts gets to me. But on my best days, I simply don't care.

The hardest thing about "lifestyle design" isn't actually the doing of it. It's the pre-work that comes before the doing that can be challenging.

To get the right design for you, you have to be honest with yourself and respect yourself. What you want is valid. Period.

Understand that your decisions are your decisions.

Understand that your path is your path.

And know that your purpose is to spend your days walking that path as you see fit, no matter where it takes you.

That, to me, is a life well lived.

[Ed. Note: Jason Leister is an internet entrepreneur, direct response copywriter and editor of “The Client Letter,“ the daily e-letter from ClientsSuck.net, where he helps independent professionals create success. You can contact him via his website at JasonLeister.com.]

Hey, I gotta sometimes give props to people with good ideas.

Anyone in internet marketing has probably heard of Frank Kern.

I was on his site, www.frankkern.com and saw this blog....cool stuff.

Read it! (the below is from frankkern.com......... )

My Challenge To You

1. Don’t buy any advice this month. Go back and re-read whatever you’ve bought in the past. It’s still good.

2. Turn off the damn computer and write down all the good stuff you learn. On a legal pad. (OLD SCHOOL!).

3. Review those notes and write down every possible action you could take to start making money immediately. Do whatever actions jump out at you. Don’t over think this. Just do it. Life is short.

4. Write a new offer for your products. You’ve probably bought a ton of stuff on writing offers and copy …so dig it out of the closet and put it to use. Nothing happens until something gets sold. So start selling (and quit buying).

5. Take the money you would have spent on whatever new marketing product you were thinking about buying this month (but didn’t) and use that money to drive traffic to your offer.

That’s right! Invest in business instead of buying more stuff about business. Revolutionary concept!

6. Measure the results of your activity (note the word ACTIVITY!) and tweak accordingly.

7. Repeat 1-6.

Oh – and if you’ve ever looked for a magic formula, that’s pretty much it.

www.onewebstrategy.com

I was listening to NPR and heard this interesting segment about how a little bit of walking, standing can really help you.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDGwOfzlCHQ&w=560&h=315]

from npr.org "Stand Up, Walk Around, Even Just For '20 Minutes' 5/9/12

If you're sitting at a desk reading this article, take a minute and stand up. That's the latest advice from New York Times Phys Ed columnist Gretchen Reynolds. In her new book, The First 20 Minutes, Reynolds details some of the surprisingly simple ways you can combat the effects of a sedentary lifestyle.

Federal health guidelines recommend 30 minutes of moderate exercise — such as walking or jogging — every single day. But new research shows that even regular exercisers may not be doing enough to counteract the health hazards of sitting down at a desk all day long.

More Health And Exercise Tips

How Revving Up Your Heart Rate, Even A Bit, Pays Off

Getting your rate into your target zone can help you get more out of a workout.

Lighter Weights Can Still Make A Big Fitness Difference

You don't have to lift heavy weights to build muscles. More reps with lighter weights works.

How To Eat Out Without Putting On The Pounds

A researcher says one secret to keeping the pounds off is eating slowly and savoring each bite.

Even A Little Exercise Can Help Your Heart

Even modest amounts of physical activity reduce the dangers of heart disease, a new study finds.

"Sitting for long periods of time — when you don't stand up, don't move at all — tends to cause changes physiologically within your muscles," says Reynolds. "You stop breaking up fat in your bloodstream, you start getting accumulations of fat ... in your liver, your heart and your brain. You get sleepy. You gain weight. You basically are much less healthy than if you're moving."

Reynolds recommends standing for two minutes every 20 minutes while desk-bound — even if you can't move around your office. "That sounds so simple," she tells Fresh Air's Terry Gross. "But that actually has profound consequences. If you can stand up every 20 minutes — even if you do nothing else — you change how your body responds physiologically."

Studies have shown that frequent standing breaks significantly decrease your chances of getting diabetes, she says. "If you can also walk around your office, you get even more benefits. You will lose weight, you lessen your chance of heart disease, and you will improve your brain. But if you can do nothing else, stand up!"

Reynolds says she's started standing up every time she answers the telephone. "I bought a music stand, which costs next to nothing, and I can put papers on it," she explains. "I read standing up. I try and walk down the hall once an hour. I walk outside and turn around and walk back in. That's enough to break up the physiological changes that sitting otherwise causes."

Reynolds' book also details the latest scientific research on running, stretching and hydration techniques. Here are some of the findings:

The First 20 Minutes

The First 20 Minutes

Surprising Science Reveals How We Can Exercise Better, Train Smarter, Live Longer

by Gretchen Reynolds

To Stretch Or Not To Stretch?:

Research now suggests that stretching before a workout isn't necessarily a good thing, because it causes the brain to think you're about to tear those muscles, says Reynolds. "When you stretch and hold a pose, the brain thinks you are about to damage yourself and it then sends out nerve impulses that actually tighten the muscles," she explains. "... The result is, you're less ready for activity, not more ready for activity."

Don't Skip The Warm-Up: Science suggests that a very easy warmup — a light jog, for example — may be all that most of us need. "What you want to do when you warm up is warm up the tissues," she says. "You want to get the muscles, the tendons — all of the parts of your body — warm, and the best way to do that is to use those tissues." Reynolds recommends jogging before a run or an intense sports match.

Running's Rewards And Risks: Running reduces the risks of heart disease and diabetes, helps maintain your weight and improves brain health. "There's very good science that running for even 30 minutes or so doubles the number of brain cells in certain portions of the brain related to memory," says Reynolds. "Running is wonderful for the health of your body." But the injury rate among runners, she cautions, is extremely high — with as many as 75 percent of runners getting one injury a year. "So running can be very hard on the body at the same time it's very good for the body," she says.

Humans Were Made For Walking: Walking may be the single best exercise that exists on the planet, Reynolds says. It's low-impact and has a relatively low risk for injury. "Walking appears to be what the human body was built for," she explains. Even 15 minutes will reduce your risk for heart disease and diabetes.

Gretchen Reynolds writes the Phys Ed column for the New York Times.

Becoming fit and becoming healthier are two different things. "You can become healthy with a much lower amount and a much lower intensity of exercise," says Reynolds. "A nice easy walk will improve your health. If you make it a little ... harder or a little more difficult for you to walk, you will become more fit and you will get more benefits. But even if you just walk lightly, you will be healthier than if you don't do anything."

www.onewebstrategy.com

Ok, we've all had the discussion with ourselves or with someone else at some point, right?

Here I am today at a point where I need to move on....I have begun the interview process....once again! It is exciting and good things are coming about but wow, what a process. I have friends that got out of college and worked for their families, which is totally cool (I was in a family business for a while) but my point is that they never experienced a job interview. Amazing to me.

So anyhow, I am trying to consider a job at (I have only one job offer so far) a few large firms worth billions of dollars, and the "safety" they propose, and the resources and support, and the salary you can generally expect, at least for a period of time. Then you have the nature of today's economy and the general uncertainty in any job. The limitations, politics, and bureaucracy of a corporation.

On the other hand, I have an opportunity to take over a firm but things could be tight (cashflow) for the first months but I'd have total control and autonomy. Freedom. Unlimited potential and growth. But then again, its all on my shoulders, no backup, and no safety net.

What things would you think about? Both great opportunities, right? I'm grateful for both. Where do you go? I have a family and want that freedom. I've earned lots of money before and I want that too. I've been self-employed and I've worked for billion dollar firms too. Both have their advantages.

What do you think?

I want pondering this when someone forwarded me from a website by Mike Dooley ....FYI

Plan the celebration now. Sweep the floor. Clean the slate. Pick a date.

Window shop, buy a few things, go out on a limb.

Rearrange the furniture, pick some flowers, take some time off.

No, no,.... Not necessarily because the tipping point has been reached... but because this is how you reach it.

How's today looking? The Universe (from tut.com)

www.onewebstrategy.com