What does it take to begin again at 50?

In this episode of John’s Tarot, John speaks with author and podcaster Pamela Topjian about her remarkable journey through childhood trauma, two abusive marriages, depression, anxiety, and a life-changing emotional breakdown.

Pamela describes purchasing a one-way bus ticket and moving halfway across the country at age 50. Although distance alone could not heal the past, therapy helped her understand the patterns that had shaped her life. Writing her complete story became another part of that healing process—and eventually became her memoir, I Didn’t Come This Far, To Only Come THIS Far.

John and Pamela discuss:

• Recognizing repeating relationship patterns

Pamela is also the host of Holistic Connections: Conversations with Holistic Practitioners.

Pamela’s book: https://a.co/d/05AUcX8I

Pamela’s YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@pamelatopjian?si=XtKOa_i39CHvY2V0

Pamela's Podcast :

https://holisticconnections.podbean.com/

Visit John’s Tarot: https://johnstarot.net

If you enjoyed this conversation, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who may need to hear that beginning again is possible.

Please note: This episode includes discussion of abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

Be careful. Be cool. Be kind. Have faith and find courage.

#PersonalTransformation #TraumaRecovery #JohnsTarot

I used some new production techniques on the video version, it would be worth a look on the website.

In July 1952, unidentified objects appeared over Washington, D.C.—not only in eyewitness accounts, but on multiple radar systems.

Air-traffic controllers tracked unusual targets near restricted areas surrounding the Capitol and White House. Pilots reported mysterious lights, and Air Force interceptor jets were sent to investigate. The objects appeared to disappear as the fighters approached, only to return after they departed.

One week later, it happened again.

The Air Force eventually proposed temperature inversions as an explanation: unusual atmospheric conditions may have bent radar signals and produced false targets. Stars, meteors, and ordinary aircraft lights might then have been misidentified as UFOs.

The explanation was scientifically plausible—but did it account for everything the radar operators, pilots, and observers experienced?

In this episode of John’s Tarot, we examine the historical evidence without forcing a conclusion. There is no conclusive proof that extraterrestrial spacecraft visited Washington, but neither did the official explanation satisfy everyone involved.

That unresolved space is what makes the Washington UFO flap a genuine historical mystery.

The episode concludes with a Tarot and rune reading asking:

What did the Washington UFO flap reveal about humanity’s relationship with the unknown?

Visit John’s Tarot: https://johnstarot.net

#WashingtonUFOFlap #UFOHistory #ProjectBlueBook #HistoricalMystery #JohnsTarot

What happens when an archetype becomes more than something we observe—and we begin participating in its pattern?

In this episode of John’s Tarot, I explore the idea of the archetypal field: a psychologically and symbolically charged environment organized around a recurring human pattern. Although “archetypal field” is not a precise term used by Carl Jung, it offers a model for experiences in which symbols, perceptions, relationships, and events begin forming an unusually coherent pattern.

I examine two experiences from my own life. While creating The Soul Awakens, sustained attention drew me inside the pattern of awakening I was exploring. At the No Kings protest, I entered an active collective field and unexpectedly saw my own role reflected back to me through the surrounding people, symbols, and events.

We also consider Jung’s archetypes and synchronicity, the I Ching, Pamela Colman Smith’s creation of the Waite-Smith Tarot, creative inspiration, collective movements, recovery fellowships, and the danger of archetypal possession.

An archetypal experience should not be judged solely by how powerful or mystical it feels. The more important question is what it produces: greater consciousness, humility, responsibility, and freedom—or inflation, compulsion, and unquestioning identification?

The episode concludes with a three-card Tarot reading featuring the Three of Wands, Nine of Wands, and the Emperor.

What field are you participating in now? What role is it asking you to assume—and is that participation leading you toward greater consciousness or away from it?

Visit John’s Tarot: https://johnstarot.net

#ArchetypalFields #CarlJung #JungianPsychology #Tarot #CollectiveUnconscious

Where did Tarot come from—and how did a Renaissance card game become a powerful language of symbolism, divination, psychology, and spiritual reflection?

In this episode of John’s Tarot, we trace the history of Tarot from the hand-painted Visconti-Sforza decks of 15th-century Italy through Hermetic philosophy, Kabbalah, Éliphas Lévi, and the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. We then explore how Arthur Edward Waite and artist Pamela Colman Smith created the revolutionary deck now known as the Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot.

Pamela Colman Smith’s fully illustrated Minor Arcana transformed Tarot. Instead of simply displaying numbers of cups, swords, wands, or pentacles, her cards portrayed human situations, emotions, relationships, and stories—making the deck psychologically accessible to millions of people.

We also consider the Fool’s Journey, Carl Jung’s ideas about archetypes and the unconscious, and the way Tarot evolved from a card game into a symbolic mirror for examining human experience.

The episode concludes with a remarkable three-card Tarot and rune reading in which Tarot is asked to describe its own purpose:

• Ace of Swords with Laguz — revealing truth and cutting through illusion

Together, the reading offers a profound statement:

“Tarot reveals truth, reunites what has become divided, and awakens consciousness.”

Tarot does not necessarily tell us what to think. It gives us something to think with.

How do you use Tarot—for prediction, spiritual guidance, psychological reflection, personal growth, or understanding the world around you? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Visit John’s Tarot: https://johnstarot.net

Have courage. Find faith.

#TarotHistory #HistoryOfTarot #RiderWaiteSmith #PamelaColmanSmith #TarotReading #TarotPsychology #TarotSymbolism #JohnsTarot

Some people touch our lives without ever meeting us. Their words, teachings, and systems reach across decades—or even thousands of years—and help us see ourselves and the world differently.

In this episode of John’s Tarot, I reflect on the people and traditions that helped transform my life: Nichiren Daishonin and Buddhism, the ancient wisdom of the I Ching, Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob’s program of recovery, the philosophy of Alan Watts, the political insight of Noam Chomsky, and the symbolic work of Arthur Edward Waite, Pamela Colman Smith, and Carl Jung.

Each provided something I needed: a new perspective, a structure for living, a way to question appearances, or a symbolic language for exploring the deeper patterns of life. Although many of these people lived long before me, their work reached through time and became part of my own journey from addiction and inherited dysfunction toward awareness, meaning, and service.

I conclude with a three-card Tarot reading asking: How are certain people able to create teachings and systems that continue to guide lives long after they are gone?

The cards drawn were:

Six of Wands — transformation becoming a visible victory

Who has reached through time and touched your life?

John’s Tarot explores Tarot, the I Ching, Taoism, Jungian psychology, recovery, spirituality, and the human journey—not to predict the future, but to understand our lives more deeply.

Visit: https://johnstarot.net

#JohnsTarot #SpiritualTransformation #ReachingThroughTime

The Resolute Desk is more than a piece of presidential furniture. It is the surviving legacy of a ship that became trapped in Arctic ice, was abandoned by its crew, recovered by strangers, returned home, dismantled, and ultimately transformed into an enduring symbol of resilience.

In this episode of John’s Tarot, we follow the remarkable history of HMS Resolute—from the search for Sir John Franklin’s lost expedition to Queen Victoria’s presentation of the desk to President Rutherford B. Hayes. We also explore the presidents, national crises, wars, assassinations, and periods of political division through which the desk has endured.

The story of the Resolute reminds us that the present moment is never the entire story. There are times when no path forward is visible, but that does not mean the journey has ended. Sometimes resilience simply means enduring the chapter we are in long enough for the next chapter to become visible.

The episode concludes with a three-card Tarot reading featuring the Hanged Man, Nine of Cups, and Four of Swords—offering guidance about uncertainty, hope, reflection, and the lessons history can provide during difficult times.

John’s Tarot is not about predicting the future. It is about understanding the human journey through history, symbolism, Tarot, spirituality, and personal experience.

Be careful. Be cool. Be kind. Have courage and find faith.

visit https://www.johnstarot.net

contact [email protected]

What is the Tao—and what can an ancient Chinese text teach us about navigating life today?

In this episode of John’s Tarot, we step away from Tarot for a little while and explore one of the books that has had a significant influence on the way I understand life: the Tao Te Ching.

Traditionally attributed to the mysterious sage Lao Tzu, the Tao Te Ching has survived for more than two thousand years. Its 81 short chapters explore some remarkably enduring ideas: simplicity, balance, cycles of change, the power of yielding, and the limits of trying to control everything around us.

At the center of this episode is the Taoist principle of Wu Wei—often translated as “non-action,” but perhaps better understood as not forcing.

Wu Wei doesn't mean doing nothing. It means learning to recognize the nature of a situation, allowing unnecessary struggle to fall away, and acting when action is appropriate.

Water provides one of the great Taoist metaphors. Water is soft and yielding. It doesn't fight the rock—it flows around it. Yet given enough time, water can reshape the rock.

I share a couple of experiences from my own life where stepping away from a problem and allowing the “muddy water” to clear eventually allowed an answer to appear—including a chaotic home remodeling project and a stubborn computer problem I couldn't initially solve.

Sometimes the answer isn't to push harder.

Sometimes we need to stop interfering long enough to see what the situation is trying to show us.

For today's reflection, instead of drawing Tarot cards, I randomly turn to Chapter 12 of the Tao Te Ching, with its warning about becoming overwhelmed by external stimulation and its invitation to cultivate what is within:

Live from your center rather than constantly chasing what is outside yourself.

For me, the Tao is a little like a river. Life is already moving. We can exhaust ourselves trying to swim against the current, or we can begin observing the direction of the water and learn how to move with it.

The Tao Te Ching doesn't necessarily give us answers.

It may give us something more useful—a different way of seeing the question.

Be cool. Be kind. Have courage. Find faith.

— John

visit https://www.johnstarot.net

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In this episode of John’s Tarot, we take a deeper journey into the relationship between the Kabbalah, the Tree of Life, and Tarot.

Rather than approaching the Tree of Life simply as an ancient mystical diagram, we explore it from the bottom upward—from Malkuth, the world of ordinary human experience, toward Kether and greater consciousness. Along the way, the Tree begins to reveal itself as something more: a map of human transformation.

We explore the Pillars of Severity and Mercy, the symbolism of Boaz and Jachin in the High Priestess, the importance of balance and integration, and the 22 paths connecting the Tree with Tarot’s Major Arcana.

What happens when we stop asking only, “What does this Tarot card mean?” and begin asking, “Where is this card taking me?”

Drawing from personal experience, I also look at how suffering can eventually become understanding, why experience often comes before meaning, and how the same event can look very different as our consciousness changes.

Perhaps the spiritual journey isn't about escaping ordinary life at all. Perhaps it's about returning to the same world—and learning to see it differently.

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What is the Kabbalah—and why does the Tree of Life appear so often in modern Tarot?

In this episode of JohnsTarot, I take a practical introduction to the Kabbalah and the Tree of Life. I’m not a Kabbalist; I’m a dabbler. My interest is in understanding enough of this ancient symbolic system to see how it became connected with Western esoteric thought and, eventually, the Tarot.

We’ll explore the ten Sephiroth of the Tree of Life, from Kether (the Crown) to Malkuth (the Kingdom), and look at the Tree as a symbolic map describing the movement from the abstract and divine toward ordinary, embodied experience.

We’ll also look at how the 22 paths of the Tree became associated with the 22 Major Arcana through later Hermetic traditions, including the influence of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn on the development of modern Tarot.

Rather than asking only, “What does this card predict?” the Tree of Life gives us another set of questions:

Where am I on the Tree?

I finish the episode with a Tarot and Rune reading asking how an understanding of Kabbalah might be integrated into Tarot practice.

This is the first of two episodes exploring Kabbalah and its relationship with Tarot. In the next episode, we’ll go deeper into the Tree itself and what its structure can tell us about the human journey.

Be careful. Be cool. Be kind.

JohnsTarot

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In this final episode of Recovery and Transformation, I look back at a journey that was never deliberately planned as a journey of transformation. Much of it was driven by necessity. Life presented problems, circumstances demanded change, and I had to find ways forward.

Across this larger seven-episode series, a progression gradually emerges:

“I cannot see.” → “I can see.” → “What am I becoming?” → “What is my life for?”

Recovery begins by establishing enough structure and stability to survive. But for me, sobriety eventually became something more. Life continued to present challenges, old structures changed or fell away, and new questions about spirituality, meaning, work, identity, and purpose emerged.

In this episode I discuss the Tower experience, changes in spiritual understanding, finding one's own path, and my experience on the mountain—where I confronted the difference between a philosophy centered on materialism and one centered on noble service.

Looking back, transformation was not a destination I consciously chose. It emerged from responding to life itself.

This is my experience and my interpretation of that experience. Your path may be very different. The purpose is not to provide a formula for recovery or transformation, but to explore what can happen when recovery becomes more than simply surviving—and develops into a different way of seeing and living.

Thank you for joining me through this entire journey.

visit https://www.johnstarot.net

contact [email protected]