In those days John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness of Judea, proclaiming, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” This is the one of whom the prophet Isaiah spoke when he said, “The voice of one crying out in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord; make his paths straight.’ ”

Now John wore clothing of camel’s hair with a leather belt around his waist, and his food was locusts and wild honey. Then Jerusalem and all Judea and all the region around the Jordan were going out to him, and they were baptized by him in the River Jordan, confessing their sins.

But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming for his baptism, he said to them, “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Therefore, bear fruit worthy of repentance, and do not presume to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our ancestor,’ for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham. Even now the ax is lying at the root of the trees; therefore every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

“I baptize you with water for repentance, but the one who is coming after me is more powerful than I, and I am not worthy to carry his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and will gather his wheat into the granary, but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.”

Marami sa inyo dito ang tawag sa akin ay Ardy. Pero pag naririnig ng kapatid ko yang pangalan na yan, natatawa siya. Sa totoo, ako rin minsan, lalo na pag pinapakilala ako ni Jandi na Ardy sa friends at mga kakilala niya. Five years pa lang kasi yung pangalan na yan kaya hindi pa sanay yung kapatid ko, at minsan ako rin.

Nung nag-out ako 5 years ago, I chose that nickname. Ayoko nang ipakilala yung sarili ko as Rhick, lalo na as Deuel. And looking back, it’s not actually about me wanting to be called differently, kasi unang-una mas madali yung Rhick. Ang Ardy, two syllables. It’s about me wanting to be known differently. I wanted to create this new self, this new identity. And so 5 years after, weeks after my birthday, napatanong ako, sino nga ba talaga si Ardy? Was I able to actually live differently? Was I successful in building this new self? Was I able to transform myself? Si Jandi alam na alam ang sagot sa mga tanong na yan. Yang mga questions na yan, obviously, hindi dumating sa akin out of the blue. When I was studying the scripture reading, na-fascinate ako kasi hindi nga pala bago itong konsepto ng transforming oneself.

In Matthew 3:2, John proclaimed, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” The Greek word for repentance is metanoia, which is usually simply translated in English as to change or to transform. Hence, the call to transform oneself isn’t new. Even before Jesus, people were already called to be transformed. Digging into the historical context of this story, this call from John is an invitation for the people during his time to be renewed.

If we go one verse back, this story of John is actually a bit theatrical because he appeared in the wilderness. So meron siyang ganung atake. Kaya naman John is actually a very queer Biblical character, not in a total SOGIESC sense, but in how he used strange fashion and lifestyle not to stand out, but to remind people of a story. Very draga. He intentionally wore, sa verse 4, clothing of camel’s hair with a leather belt around his waist. Why? To look like Prophet Elijah. Bakit niya gusto magmukhang propeta? He wanted to be like the prophets of ancient Israel. He wanted to remind people of what happened to the Israelites when they didn’t follow God’s commandments. Kaya dun siya umeksena sa wilderness because it served as a stage that would amplify his message. He wanted to remind people that the true essence of the covenant and commandments is to show the world that there is a different way of living, of being. God gave ancient Israel a framework on how to set themselves apart from other nations. And so proclaiming the message of repentance from the wilderness must remind the Jews to become the people that Israel had been called to be from the very beginning. The past generations failed, and in verse 10, he declared that the time had arrived, God is offering a final opportunity. Therefore, John’s call for repentance is a call to transform oneself: to have a complete change of mind and heart, inviting people to be baptized to publicly proclaim that they are setting themselves apart from the ways of their world.

Now, sa atin ngayon, what does the call for repentance mean to us? What does transformation of self mean to us? Syempre, hindi yan mag-start sa paggawa ng bagong nickname. Pwede niyo rin gawin iyon, but gaya nga ng tanong ko sa sarili ko, yes, gumawa ako ng bagong name for myself, but did I really undergo a genuine process of becoming transformed into someone new? Samahan niyo kong sagutin yang tanong na yan by exploring two steps on how to gain true metanoia.

The first step is to think about what we’ve done or how we’re currently behaving. For some, this could be difficult, self-reflection is a heavy task. Because as humans, we tend to overlook things about ourselves. 

In my case, I didn’t get to fully understand my worldview after I left my former religion. I grew up believing that Jehovah’s Witness is the true religion, the only group of true Christians. But what’s interesting is that I didn’t actually fully realize na talagang years of my life, I believed that only one particular group has the monopoly on God’s approval. Kaya nung naging part ako ng Open Table as Ardy, nasa sistema ko pa rin siya. I had this thought na progressive Christian groups or individuals who are progressively leaning lang ang totoong mga Christian. In some degree, yes, we do proclaim God’s radically inclusive love better, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t people from other Christian groups who are also trying to be as Christian as possible and follow Jesus in their own big and little ways. As a matter of fact, I realized I can still actually learn a lot of things from them. One of the things that I am transparent about dito sa journey ko of transforming myself is that prayer is still a difficult thing for me to do. Kaya nung nagkita kami ng friend ko, she’s from an evangelical-ish church, I was so jealous that she can actually pour her heart out and articulate her gratitude for the year 2025 so beautifully in just a prayer for dinner. Why did I feel spiritually superior to people who are in non-affirming communities when I know that a personal relationship with God is possible maging sino ka man? Kaya I figured, it’s actually a need to have moments of reflection and to understand if we’re truly different from who we were.

I actually remembered a conversation from the ministry planning. Apparently, some of us are still uncomfortable in spiritual practices from other cultures and religions. That’s perfectly understandable. Some of us were raised to believe that non-Christians will rot in hell or, dati ako, I believed na papaulanan sila ng meteorites during Armageddon. But as we undergo metanoia, ganung klaseng Kristiyano pa rin ba tayo? Do we still gatekeep the divine and believe that everyone else is damned if they’re not Christian?

For some people, this first step may look different. Those who aren’t out and are just coming to terms with their gender and sexuality, maybe there’s a need to be more aware of an inner voice that screams internalized homophobia or transphobia. For those who are still with their non-affirming church communities, they may need to assess if hiding parts of themselves is worth it just to stay within the faith community, or how their double life affects their genuine connection with God. For those who just left their former churches and are in the process of deconstruction, how’s your spiritual life? Have you abandoned prayer and scripture reading?

Maybe at this point, some of us are done with these big questions involving identity and spirituality. Then what questions are left for us? Mark 12:31 offers an answer: Love your neighbor as yourself. As we wish to be transformed, we must also think if we lack in charity, if we are greedy, if we participate in exploitation or violence. Big words noh. Sige, liitan natin: kaya ba nating maging mas aware of how hostile we could be in online conversations? Or kaya ba nating maging mas aware sa ating tendencies na maging elitista or classist? Do we converse with kindness and claim accountability sa mga actions natin or are we rude, di nag-iisip bago magsalita (sobrang kota na ko dyan this week) or parang regina george kung umasta? We can ask ourselves, In what ways can I love my neighbor better?

As we assess ourselves, we also have to go through Step 1.5: acknowledge who we are or what we’ve done and feel remorse.

This part of repentance and yes, repentance as a whole, could be a challenging process for LGBTQ+ people. Yung salitang repent pa nga lang, diba, was weaponized by most of our previous churches. Bakla ka? Repent. Immoral yan? Repent. It was used to make us feel lesser and undeserving of God’s love. But now that we have a better understanding of what it means, I’m telling you, we have to repent. We have to repent because we sin. Walang immunity ang mga bakla dyan. We don’t automatically get an A+ sa commandment ni Jesus. Sumasablay tayo araw-araw. So we don’t get a free pass for the things we’ve done and for the things we’re doing that aren’t aligned with Jesus’ commandment. Yung ating sexuality and gender identity, based on science and biblical-theological scholarship ay hindi naman talaga kasalanan to repent from, pero marami pang ibang bagay na we need to repent and transform from. Regardless of gender and sexuality, we have to feel sad, bad, and remorseful for those things, for the pain we caused others, for the hurt and injustice we inflicted on our friends and people around us, for the bad habits and self-destructive behaviors we let ourselves experience, for the shame we caused ourselves. To be truly transformed, we have to go through those painful moments of being ashamed for the harmful things we’ve done to other people, and in moments where we are greatly disturbed by godly sorrow.

Now, what’s the second step? To answer that, let’s further examine the word metanoia. The prefix meta means to change, and the root word noeo means to think, to understand. And so when we combine those morphemes, it’s more accurate to say that metanoia is a specific transformation: it’s a change in the way we think, the way we understand things; therefore, it’s a change of our life’s direction. What’s that direction?

We’re in the season of Advent, and there’s a reason why John’s call for repentance is part of the Advent lectionary. It’s a call for us to not just be transformed for ourselves; it’s a call for us to be active participants of the Advent. Advent is about longing for the Kingdom of God, for justice, and the end of oppression.

But the question is: how? Anong transformation ang ine-expect sa atin? Ine-expect ba sa ating lahat na magiging full-time ministry leaders tayo, magiging full-time social justice advocates or activists? For some people, probably yun ang direkyson nila. Pastor Joseph is an example: from a corporate worker, nag-transform siya into a seminarian hanggang naging ordained pastor. Baka iba sa inyo similar din ang maging transformation. But in Luke 3:10–14, there’s a comforting story. Wala ito sa Matthew. Tinanong ng mga tao si John, “So ano gagawin namin?” Sabi ni John: yung may mga dalawang balabal, i-share niyo yung isa sa wala; yung may food, mag-share din. Tinanong siya ng mga tax collectors, “Teacher, ano gagawin namin?” Sabi niya, “Huwag kayong maningil ng sobra; yung itinakdang tax, yan lang kokolektahin niyo.” Yung mga sundalo tinanong din siya, “Kami, anong gagawin?” Sabi niya, “Huwag kayong mangikil at huwag kayong magparatang ng mali.”

Anong matututunan natin sa kwentong yan?

Nakita natin na hindi pinag-resign ni John yung tax collectors and soldiers sa kani-kanilang trabaho. Yung mga ordinaryong tao, sinabi niyang magtulungan kayo,  share what you have. Hindi naman niya sila niyaya lahat sa wilderness. Therefore, John’s invitation is an invitation to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. That’s the direction.

And so this also invites us to learn to love ourselves better. Sabi nga ni RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” One example that I have is coming out of the closet. Yes, it’s indeed difficult to come out, dangerous for some even. But coming out of the closet gives you more opportunities to participate in loving others. Like here at Open Table, you can participate better in the ministry work, testify in front, represent the church, and all other things. And outside Open Table, you can also be more involved in advocacy work. And just in your personal life, you get to express yourself better in public and be more authentic in dating, etc. In the same manner, learning to love our authentic selves, transforming into our true beautiful selves, opens us to more opportunities to express genuine love to other people.

However, in all our different ways, totoong hindi madaling mahalin ang sarili ng buo at gayundin ang iba. Magkukulang tayo along the way. Pag nagkamali ba tayo, ibig sabihin failed na tayo sa “transforming ourselves”? No. Remember God’s grace. I want to read what Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber, the founding pastor of House for All Sinners and Saints, wrote about repentance:

“This is the beauty of our faith—that repentance gets to be a continual action. This is the beauty of our faith, not that we once were bad but now we’re good, but that Softly and Tenderly… Jesus is calling us out of the empty promises of our personal and cultural trances and into what is most true and most real—this present moment, where the kingdom of God is at hand… [Repentance] is not like the three tries you have to remember your password before the system locks you out. The gates of repentance are always open.”

Five years forward bearing this new name, Ardy, with God’s grace and because of love, yes, there are areas of my life that I could say I was able to change significantly. But sometimes I act like a kid, like the sheltered boy that I was. I’m not perfect. But I’m a work in progress, and so are you. We need to be continuously transformed by love and grace.

And I hope that in this season of Advent, we spend time to reflect and to be truly transformed. At lalo na malapit na ang 2026, time to create our New Year’s resolution na madalas di napapanindigan. But maybe this time around, maybe hindi na natin need hintayin ang New Year. As we observe Advent, let’s allow God to transform us into our true selves: the person God uniquely created and calls us to be. Amen.

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