Podcast Episode: Creating the Life You Desire: A Life by Design, Not Escape
00:02.45 Priscilla Horton Have you ever felt like you were just surviving instead of living? Maybe you catch yourself fantasizing about escaping your life. Maybe it's quitting your job, running away to an island, or hitting reset just to start all over again. But what if the goal isn't to escape your current life? What if the real goal is to build the one that you want
00:32.24 Priscilla Horton What if the real goal is to build one you don't want to escape from? Today we're talking about it. We're talking about creating a life by design, not default. A life that really feels intentional and aligned and fulfilling. This isn't about waiting for the right time or the perfect circumstances. This is about making the decision that your life as it is right now,
01:02.13 Priscilla Horton is something that you have the power to shape. So let's and dive in.
01:14.78 Priscilla Horton I feel like there's this myth of escaping versus the power of designing. When I first got into real estate years ago, they talked a lot about creating the life that you want to be in. And they would always refer to the life by design, live a life by design. And I didn't understand it for the longest time until one day it just clicked. And realizing that we have the power to create so much of what we experience in the future is mind blowing.
02:00.70 Priscilla Horton when you realize that you can shape your future, that you can create a life that you want to live in, it's a game changer.
02:16.05 Priscilla Horton I feel like there is this illusion of escape. So many of us think that we need to completely escape our lives to be happy, right? If it was, if we only had this, if we only had that,
02:31.20 Priscilla Horton It looks better on the other side.
02:35.94 Priscilla Horton We imagine if we could just be somewhere new or have a new relationship with someone that things would change for us. If we just left certain people behind or we landed that dream job or got what we wanted, everything would magically fall into place.
03:01.66 Priscilla Horton I feel like we've all lived this illusion, right? When we're struggling, when we're feeling a little down on ourselves, those thoughts start to creep in and this illusion of a life that could happen if we left all of this here or if we were there or if we only had this relationship. But escape,
03:31.57 Priscilla Horton is often just a temporary relief from a deeper problem. If we don't address the root, like our mindset, our habits, our beliefs, then we will create the same patterns wherever we go. So if your relationship sucks right now, instead of focusing on the deeper problem, oftentimes it's a much easier thought for us to jump ship, get into another relationship, then the same thing happens. And we, we continue to create this same life that we don't want to live because we're chasing a feeling instead of figuring out the solution to this deeper problem.
04:29.36 Priscilla Horton we just get deeper and deeper into this problem. So do you see that illusion that takes place and happens when, um
04:58.50 Priscilla Horton um,
05:03.58 Priscilla Horton So do you see that illusion? you you might be able to even You might be able to even think about the illusions that you've bought into. I know I have my own.
05:23.10 Priscilla Horton And here's the truth about a life by design. It means that you're not running from something.
05:32.89 Priscilla Horton but you're intentionally creating something better for yourself, for your future.
05:44.68 Priscilla Horton Living a life by design, it means that you're taking ownership of what you want and making conscious choices, even in the small things, even in those everyday moments.
06:02.27 Priscilla Horton You're owning yourself. You're choosing wisely. It's amazing actually how many choices that we make in a day. But we're also making these subconscious choices that can you know lead us back to that illusion, right?
06:31.10 Priscilla Horton So in the same way, we can create these conscious choices that become our subconscious later on so that we're just always choosing wisely.
06:48.84 Priscilla Horton So let me ask you, when you think about your ideal life, are you running toward something meaningful Or are you just running away from something painful? Are you trying to escape your life? If you've ever said any of those things, I just want to be stranded on an island. I just want to go where nobody knows me.
07:25.66 Priscilla Horton then you may be in that, that illusion and you're running from something that's painful. That's, I want you to know that that is a normal brain function though. Okay. Our brain is protecting us and, and does want us to escape pain. So we will pay lots of money to be out of pain.
07:52.68 Priscilla Horton Right? Nobody wants to feel pain. So we think of all of the things that we could do to keep us from pain or to get us out of pain and running away from it is one of those things.
08:23.59 Priscilla Horton So let's talk about this life that you love. This is life that you've designed and you actually want to live. You know, I've said this before, I look around and it just seems like there's dead dead men walking everywhere. And it's because people aren't truly living. They're stuck.
08:49.14 Priscilla Horton They're stuck in this illusion. They're stuck in their fears. They're stuck in complacency. They're stuck in just accepting life as it is and not realizing that they actually have the power to create the life that they love living.
09:11.54 Priscilla Horton And this has been a wake-up call for myself. You know, I was the product of my own suffering for years. I lived out these illusions. I used to tell myself these lies of if I just could go here, if I could just, and I can't tell you how many times I said, I just want to move. I just want to move away from here because I was like, it's a clean slate. It felt like a clean slate. I could start over again, but guess what? I knew when I thought about it,
09:46.55 Priscilla Horton Nothing would change because I hadn't changed. I would continue to take everything that I was then into the new place, the new spaces, the new relationships, the new job, whatever I went into at the time.
10:09.39 Priscilla Horton And
10:13.48 Priscilla Horton I would again be creating a life that I didn't want to live.
10:24.48 Priscilla Horton So one of the first steps that I believe that we can take in creating this life that this life by design is to get crystal clear on what you want. That is something that I did at the beginning of the year, this year, and I've done it for the past few years. Get crystal clear, write it down. What life do you want to live? How do you want to feel every day? What does that look like? What would you be doing? What would your perfect day look like?
11:04.33 Priscilla Horton You see, what happens is many of us know exactly what we don't want. But when someone asks you what you truly want, you'll hesitate. Oh, that's a really good question. I've never considered it. I don't know.
11:31.01 Priscilla Horton So what do you truly want? I think this this actually takes quite a bit of time to consider it because It's much easier for us to focus on our lack. It's more easy for us to focus on the things that we don't want.
11:52.37 Priscilla Horton So we'll just continue through life, staying away and staying clear of all the things we don't want, but what are we running to? This is just us avoiding. This is this is us running away from, but what are we running to?
12:13.75 Priscilla Horton Ask yourself if there were no limits right now, no fear and no guilt and no shoulds. What would your dream life look like?
12:32.83 Priscilla Horton Even close your eyes if you have to. What does this dream life look like? Are the people that are currently in your life there in that dream life of yours?
12:45.27 Priscilla Horton If not, I think that you should probably be questioning some things.
12:57.31 Priscilla Horton What does your ideal day look like? How do you feel when you wake up? What kind of work do you do? How do you take care of yourself? What do you eat? You cannot create a life it
13:15.74 Priscilla Horton without a design.
13:20.53 Priscilla Horton A builder does not just start building a house for somebody based on what's in his head. He sits down with the client and starts creating this design for this home, this dream home that these people want.
13:43.23 Priscilla Horton a design has to be put in place. So every day you are actually designing your life and you don't even realize it. I asked a question on my Instagram page on Groundhog Day because I love Groundhog Day. It has just been such a a neat holiday for me. And I, my first podcast was about Groundhog Day, my own personal Groundhog Day. But the question was, is if you had to live today on repeat. So you had your own Groundhog Day. So this day right now, if you had to live in on repeat, would you change it?
14:39.58 Priscilla Horton Would you love it or would you change it? And everyone except one person said that they would change it. And why is that? Because most of us are living a life by someone else's design.
15:08.72 Priscilla Horton You wake up. think thinking the thoughts that you wake up in autopilot, you go about your day and it's the same mundane thing all the time.
15:37.10 Priscilla Horton So here's an action step that you can actually take right now, if you want to, ah write down, I encourage you to write down one thing that you would change right now if you had the power to.
15:55.23 Priscilla Horton And then when you write that down, I want you to tell yourself, I have the power to do this, because you do. You actually have the power
16:09.32 Priscilla Horton to change things for yourself right now.
16:21.49 Priscilla Horton Another important step in creating the light the life that you desire to live is to rewire your brain around what's possible.
16:39.44 Priscilla Horton Many of us don't even pursue, many people,
16:48.83 Priscilla Horton if you've ever read the book, The Five Most Regrets of the Dying, if you haven't, I encourage you to read it, but if you have and you know, most people,
17:09.59 Priscilla Horton go to their deathbed, not living the life that they desired to live.
17:19.46 Priscilla Horton Most people do not pursue the life that they want because they've already told themselves that it's not possible, that it's not in the cards for them.
17:36.94 Priscilla Horton Think about some of the common limiting beliefs. Maybe even you have around pursuing this life that you want. Maybe, maybe it's selfish. Maybe you feel like it's selfish. Maybe you really feel like that you're not qualified. You don't have enough time that it's too late for you.
18:02.74 Priscilla Horton All of those things are holding you back. They are keeping you
18:09.42 Priscilla Horton from living an incredible life. And that is always sad to me. I literally get so heartbroken when I see somebody go to their death bed, not living the life that they dreamed of.
18:32.87 Priscilla Horton And actually this morning,
18:37.45 Priscilla Horton I had some heartbreaking news that one of my aunts had passed away. And this is an aunt that I was close to for for a very long time who had helped me get through a lot of pain and rejection that I felt for a long time. She came in and she, she saw me.
19:07.57 Priscilla Horton She understood me. She poured into me. And what saddens me about the whole thing is that she didn't get to live the life that she dreamed of. And I see this over and over and over again in people's lives.
19:35.62 Priscilla Horton I check in with myself quite often. Am I living the life that I desire? I know that I'm not. Now, did I dream of this over what I had even five years ago? Absolutely. I'm doing much better than I i was eight years ago. I'm in a completely different place in my mindset. Eight years ago, I wouldn't have been podcasting. Eight years ago, I wouldn't have been creating programs and
20:08.33 Priscilla Horton challenges for other women.
20:16.14 Priscilla Horton Because I didn't think I knew enough. And I still don't think I know enough. But here's the thing is I've reframed it. I don't let that thought stop me anymore because I know that when it does, I'm not truly living.
20:35.04 Priscilla Horton So reframe whatever those limiting beliefs are that keep coming up, that keep telling you that you are not capable of living a life by design. Catch yourself when you say things like, I can't.
20:56.40 Priscilla Horton Or it's just not possible.
21:10.74 Priscilla Horton And step number three in creating this life by design is to start small and take action to today. A life by design doesn't require you to change everything or overhaul everything in one night. That's not possible.
21:38.81 Priscilla Horton It really starts with small choices. One of my favorite books is The Compound Effect and by Darren Hardy, and he talks so much about the small things that we do every day, the the habits that we do every day over time, compounds, and it becomes who we are and what we do.
22:13.97 Priscilla Horton You know, part of when I was in Oregon, I think this was back in 2019, I went to this tower, super tall. I forgot how many steps, like, I don't know, 200, maybe more steps. But I just remember looking at this tower, like standing at the bottom of it before we went in and started to climb. And I was just like, oh my gosh, am I going to be able to do this? And I did it. And how did I do that? One step at a time, right?
22:54.93 Priscilla Horton I'm sitting here and I'm looking at one of my quotes from February 3rd and it reads, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. How fitting that that was still open as I'm recording this podcast. How cool. It really does. Don't look at the, the bigger picture when we see it is only for us to
23:25.04 Priscilla Horton to see what we need to do to make that dream happen. And then other than that, we are looking at the steps, the habits, the little things that are going to get us there. So it starts with all these small choices.
23:44.93 Priscilla Horton So what can you do today?
23:50.81 Priscilla Horton If you want a healthier lifestyle, what can you change about your current lifestyle, your current health today? Maybe it's drinking one less soda. Maybe it's five minutes of movement today.
24:10.01 Priscilla Horton If you want to have your own business, work for yourself. Research one step that you could take in that direction today. Learn more about what that skill is.
24:24.55 Priscilla Horton If you want to live a more happier, fulfilling life, then maybe that's listing a few things that you're grateful for right now. Maybe it's pointing out some of your favorite qualities about yourself.
24:48.37 Priscilla Horton And I'm just going to drop the biggest truth bomb right now.
24:55.65 Priscilla Horton You don't need to wait for permission to start creating your dream life. The first step right now is deciding that it's possible, that it's possible for you, that it can be done, that you hold the power, that you have everything you need inside of you. You don't need permission. You don't need a perfect opportunity. You don't need the perfect timing.
25:25.21 Priscilla Horton You can start designing this life right now.
25:32.35 Priscilla Horton Go to pen and paper. Start writing the blueprint for this life that you desire to live.
25:56.78 Priscilla Horton I know a quote that has been out and it's a really hard one to swallow because our brain always wants us to have an excuse. And the quote is, and in hear me out, like you're gonna, you may have your own feelings toward this, but I do believe this wholeheartedly that what we're not changing we are choosing, plain and simple. What you're not changing, you are choosing.
26:40.18 Priscilla Horton You have so much power in your court.
27:07.73 Priscilla Horton Think about your own life right now. Maybe you are feeling stuck. You're feeling like escaping.
27:25.36 Priscilla Horton You didn't listen to this episode by chance.
27:37.89 Priscilla Horton It's time to start designing the life that you don't feel like you want to escape from, but a life that you want to live.
28:04.07 Priscilla Horton Like I said earlier, I, when I first heard this concept in real estate and they talked about it for so long, I was, I just felt stuck. I didn't understand it. What do you mean? I can't design this life without a bunch of money. And see that's, that's seen the whole staircase instead of the steps.
28:38.68 Priscilla Horton And so when it dawned on me, when I had gone through some mindset work and it had dawned on me, oh my gosh, I totally missed the whole purpose of what they were saying. It was my decisions, the decisions that I was making every day, the way that I was getting up, the thing the things that I was choosing to spend time on, all of those things,
29:09.07 Priscilla Horton We're creating a life, whether good or bad. And I'll tell you, I was creating a life I really didn't want to be in.
29:27.52 Priscilla Horton The cool thing about mindset is that we can shift it. That the cool thing about the brain is that we can rewire it. Are we willing to do it? Are you willing to do it?
29:39.53 Priscilla Horton Are you willing right now to say yes to your future, yes to you, yes to this life that you desire to live?
29:58.69 Priscilla Horton This starts with the belief. What do we believe that we're able to do?
30:09.11 Priscilla Horton And it starts with those small steps, those small changes, those bite-sized pieces that become the whole design, that become the whole house, that become the whole life.
30:34.78 Priscilla Horton You see, think of somebody right now who inspires you. It could be an actor, it could be a podcaster, it could be a friend, it could be a family member, someone that you go to church with, somebody that you work with. What is it about their life that you love?
30:55.13 Priscilla Horton I want you to know that if it's possible for them, it is possible for you. There is nothing more special
31:08.80 Priscilla Horton about them than you. Don't buy into that lie. The problem is is that most people don't want to take action. They don't want to put in the hard work because it is work. It is work to create the life that you want to live in.
31:34.97 Priscilla Horton But wouldn't you rather spend the next two years creating that life and live the rest of your life in a life that you enjoy? Or would you rather not do anything and live the rest of your life miserable, feeling like you're lacking something?
31:54.92 Priscilla Horton I know that I don't want to give up on my dreams. I don't want to give up on this life that I desire to live.
32:07.14 Priscilla Horton And so every day, whatever that means for me, instead of going to the TV, I'm gonna put in some work. I'm gonna pour into myself. I'm gonna figure out a couple of steps that I need to move forward.
32:34.67 Priscilla Horton You are not meant to live a life that feels like a constant cycle of burnout and frustration or waiting for the weekend. You know, you hear people say like, thank God it's Friday. And then Monday comes and it's like, Monday sucks. Well, that's a mindset issue. Nobody wants to live that life, that that constant cycle.
33:02.02 Priscilla Horton You are meant to build a life that excites you, that fulfills you and gives you purpose every single day. And the best part of it is that you get to choose. You get to choose.
33:20.72 Priscilla Horton I hope you all got so much out of this episode and it resonated with you. If this is the case, I would love to hear from you. Take a screenshot and tag me on it on Instagram at Priscilla Horton Coaching. I would love to see how this has impacted you.
33:48.88 Priscilla Horton And if you haven't yet, make sure you hit subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. Also, I appreciate reviews. I would love to have a star rating and a review if that feels good to you. But until next time, remember that you are not here to escape your life. You're here to build one that you love.
