Living a weightless life is something I think we're all after.  We don't want to carry things that we don't need to.  In this episode we dive into the weight we carry that is our choice to carry or put down.  

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Confirmation Bias is the tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that confirms what we already believe.  In other words, we pay more attention to things that back up our views, and we conveniently ignore anything that challenges them.  This bias can affect everything-from the decisions we make in our daily lives, to how we interact with people who have different perspectives.

Release the Holiday guilt:  One Day won’t derail your progress

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Wherever you’re at and whomever you spend it with, enjoy it.  Fully enjoy it. 

I’m sure we’re all in shock that the holidays are upon us already.  While they are a time for connection and joy, they can also bring up a lot of guilt and shame around food and fitness.

Letting go of guilt around enjoying holiday meals and the truth about falling off track for one day. 

We’re diving into how to approach the holiday season with grace and confidence-because you deserve to enjoy it.

Truth about 1 day:

There is not a single meal, day or even 1 week that will change your body.  Whether it’s weight gain or loss, it’s consistency over time that matters.

“I shouldn’t eat this, I’ll need to work this off tomorrow, ugh I”ve ruined everything. 

I used to have this kind of guilt, especially when I knew that I hadn’t been very active or health conscious that year.  It’s like we think that we have to punish or shame ourself during the holidays for the things we didn’t accomplish during the year.  Like-wises, you may be one who has made great health choices and has stayed active and you see the holidays as something that has to be earned.  Or perhaps it’s a no-go all together because you don’t want to fall off track.  I have been all of these scenarios because I think the most common trip to take as a human is a guilt trip.  No matter what we do or don’t do, guilt seems to show up at our events. 

Again, there isn’t a single meal that is going to make things better or worse for you.  It’ is consistency. 

Weight fluctuations after a big meal are temporary and mostly due to water retention, sodium and digestion-NOT fat.  I was reading that it takes roughly 3,500 extra calories to gain a single pound.  Most thanksgiving meals won’t even come close to that.  This should comfort you a little. 

Now, when we continue to eat like this daily, it will compound over time and our weight will increase.  Like-wise, if this is occasional and you make health conscious choices the majority of the year you will maintain a healthy lifestyle.  Long term habits, NOT one-day choices, dictate progress.

Think of your health like a marathon.  One mile doesn’t define the whole race. 

Your body is resilient and adaptable.  It’s designed to handle the occasional indulgence-it’s what you do most of the time that shapes your results. 

What guilt does: 

Let go of the guilt:  Guilt doesn’t encourage sustainable behavior change.  It’ only steals the enjoyment when you’re eating what you were going to eat anyway.  This just fuels the eat-repent-repeat cycle.  This isn’t to say that you won’t occasionally regret the choices you make.

Drain mental energy, taking away from moments that are meant to be joyful.  You’re not just ruining the meal-you’re also missing out on the memories and connection that come with it.

Guilt leads to a negative spiral: 

Overeating>guilt>restriction>overeating again.

I was on a very restrictive diet due to some blood work that showed various food proteins in it.  I went all in with it and it just wore on me.  I noticed I kept saying “I can’t” every time there was a food in front of me that was on the “no” list.  Well, what happens when we only tell kids no??  They want to rebel because it seems like everything is off limits.  They may as well shake things up a bit.  That’s how I felt.  So when I would finally give in, I would feel like a failure after.  The restriction to me felt like pain or punishment.  But then I would punish myself with guilt after I ate things deemed off limits to me.  You see, guilt turns food into an emotional enemy instead of a source of nourishment or joy.

Reframing guilt: 

Shift the focus from punishment to self-compassion.  Guilt doesn’t change the past.  What it does is rob you of joy in the present, with those you love.  You are more than what you eat.  Your worth isn’t tied to how much pie you enjoy.

Would you want your kids or loved ones to feel bad for enjoying a holiday meal?  Then why would you do that to yourself?

Here’s what I encourage you to do to let go of guilt. 

Mindful eating:  Slow down during meals.  Take smaller bites, chew slowly, and savor the flavors.

Tune into fullness cues:  Am I enjoying this bite as much as the first?  I know for me, if I get too full I feel terrible.  It can actually make me feel tired, drug out, heart pounds, makes me feel anxious etc.  Same with eating too much sugar.  I think about how I will feel but don’t limit myself anymore. 

Stop thinking that you are going to have to work your meal off, instead realize that this is a part of a balanced lifestyle. 

Focus on connection instead of food.  “I will enjoy my favorite foods guilt-free and focus on connection.

If guilt starts to creep in, take a moment to breathe and assess your thoughts.  Pause, take a deep breath and observe what you’re feeling without judgement.  Acknowledge that our food choices do not define your self-worth.  By reframing your mindset, you can celebrate with peace and release unnecessary guilt. 

This holiday meal is not something that you have to earn.  It’s not a cheat day, it’s part of the balanced plan.  You’re allowed to enjoy food without earning it. 

Remind yourself that this ONE day.  You’re allowed to nourish not just your body but your soul. 

Avoid the punishment workouts the next day. 

If you have been in this guilt cycle, I see you.  I’ve been there too.  I’m here to remind you-it doesn’t have to be this way

As I wrap up this holiday episode, I want to remind you that health is a long-term journey, and holidays are a small and important part of it.  One day of indulgence isn’t a setback; it’s a chance to celebrate life, family and all your hard work. 

Enjoy your meal mindfully

Ditch the guilt-it serves no other purpose than to make you feel like garbage. 

Return to your routine the next day with grace, not punishment.

I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on what you’re thankful for

Share your favorite part of this episode on social media or tag me in your holiday post.  Would love to hear how this episode or any other episode has impacted you. 

This Thanksgiving, let’s choose joy, connection, and freedom over guilt.  You deserve it. 

Having and enforcing boundaries can be so challenging during the holidays.  So many people dread the holidays for numerous reasons that can oftentimes be prevented by just putting the right boundaries in place.  

Boundaries are limits you set to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being.  They're not about shutting people out.  They're about letting people know how they can engage with you in a healthy way.  

During the holidays so many people and things seem to demand our time.  Christmas parties, family gatherings, church events, school programs........No wonder people dread them so much.  What if there was a way to create a more joyful holiday for you?

There is..

Boundaries!  

When you feel obligated to attend every party, dinner or event that comes your way, what happens after is your choice.  We have many options throughout our day, and we get to decide which ones are priorities and which ones we will need to pass on.  It's important to prioritize the people and things that really matter to you.  "I really appreciate the offer, but i'm keeping my schedule lighter this year for my own sanity.  Thank you for understanding."

What about family guilt??  Noone takes you on the biggest trip like a family guilt trip, right?  They have these big expectations of you, or they shame you for saying no.  This is where you have to stand firm.  You can still be kind and firm at the same time.  Acknowledge their feelings, of course, but be firm.  "I hear that you're disappointed we won't be staying the whole week, but this is what works best for us."

Here's another......So many financial expectations.  Feeling pressured to overspend on gifts or activities, charities etc.  Don't want to leave anyone out so you keep getting gifts for anyone you may come in contact with during the holidays so you don't look bad.  "We're focusing on meaningful gifts this year rather than expensive ones.  I hope that's okay!"  Or "I'll be attending but going to skip out on the gift exchange or secret santa this time. "  

Say you decide to attend.  There is always that one person that seems to open their big mouth and offer unsolicited opinions or criticism.  They may comment on your life choices, parenting, body, etc.  "I'm not comfortable discussing this topic.  Let's focus on enjoying our time together instead."

Helpful tips:

1. Don't forget to make yourself a priority during the holidays.  Workout.  Do some things that bring peace, fun and enjoyment to you.  
2. Write down non-negotiables and stick with them.
3. Communicate early on and directly to those this will effect. 
4. Use "I" statements such as " I feel overwhelmed when my schedule is packed, so i'll need to skip this event."
5. Stay firm but compassionate:  "I've already made my decision."  "I understand this is difficult for you, but this is what's best for me."

Do you ever feel like there is this invisible force keeping you from accomplishing the things you desire to accomplish?  Do you start to doubt yourself when a new idea comes to mind?  What about freezing up when you get ready to step out of your comfort zone? 

limiting beliefs. These are the subconscious stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we’re capable of—and they often hold us back more than any external obstacle could. So, if you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or convinced that ‘this is just the way things are,’ stick around. We’re going to uncover where these beliefs come from, common ones that might be affecting you, and powerful strategies to break free from them and start embracing a growth-focused mindset.

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are assumptions or ideas we hold about ourselves and our potential. These beliefs shape our perception of what’s possible, and they often aren’t even based on actual experiences. Instead, they come from what we’ve internalized from society, family, or past experiences. According to a study by the National Science Foundation, about 80% of our thoughts are negative. So, it’s not surprising that many of us have self-limiting beliefs that keep us from achieving our true potential.

Quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” - Henry Ford

Examples of Limiting Beliefs:

• “I’m not good enough.”
• “People like me don’t succeed.”
• “I can’t handle rejection.”
• “I’ll never be able to make a lasting change.”

Where Do Limiting Beliefs Come From?

These beliefs often start early. A parent’s well-meaning advice, a teacher’s casual criticism, or a moment of failure can all plant seeds of self-doubt. Limiting beliefs can also be reinforced by social norms or cultural expectations. For example, if society constantly tells women that they have to ‘choose’ between a career and a family, it’s easy to internalize the belief that they can’t successfully have both. These subtle messages create a mental framework that can be very hard to escape.

Stat: According to a survey by Dove, only 4% of women globally consider themselves beautiful. Imagine the impact of such a limiting belief on self-worth and confidence.

Common Limiting Beliefs and Their Impact

Let’s take a look at some of the most common limiting beliefs. See if any of these resonate with you:

1. “I’m not talented/smart/experienced enough.”
   • This belief creates a fixed mindset, which makes it harder to take on new challenges. Studies show that people with a fixed mindset are more likely to give up in the face of obstacles.

1. “I don’t have enough time/money/resources.”

• This belief keeps us from even trying. We assume that success requires the ‘perfect conditions,’ which often aren’t realistic.

1. “I’ve always been this way.”

• This belief can be incredibly disempowering. Believing that change is impossible keeps you from ever stepping out of your comfort zone.

1. “I’ll fail, so why even try?”

• Fear of failure is one of the most paralyzing limiting beliefs. However, research shows that failure is an essential part of growth—people who fail frequently tend to develop more resilience and achieve long-term success.

Shifting from Limiting Beliefs to a Growth-Focused Mindset

Now that we know what limiting beliefs are, let’s talk about how to overcome them. Here are some steps that can help you shift from a limiting mindset to a growth-focused one.

1. Awareness and Recognition
   • Start by identifying your limiting beliefs. Try journaling to pinpoint recurring negative thoughts. Ask yourself: ‘What stories do I tell myself about my abilities and potential?’
   • Recognizing these thoughts is half the battle. Once you’re aware, you can challenge them instead of accepting them as facts.

1. Question Your Beliefs

• Take one limiting belief and ask yourself: ‘Is this really true?’ For example, if you believe “I’m not good at speaking in public,” ask if there’s any evidence supporting that belief.
• Think of counterexamples where you succeeded or improved over time. This process of ‘debunking’ helps you see your beliefs in a new light.

Quote: “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent Van Gogh

1. Replace Negative Beliefs with Positive Ones

• After challenging a limiting belief, replace it with an empowering one. Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try, “I’m a work in progress, and I’m improving every day.” Psychologists call this “cognitive restructuring,” and it’s a proven way to rewire the brain for a growth mindset.

1. Visualization and Affirmations

• Studies have shown that visualization can improve motivation, coordination, and even actual performance. Visualize yourself succeeding and embodying the growth-focused mindset you want.
• Affirmations can also help. For instance, saying “I am capable of change, and I welcome challenges” daily can reshape how you think about yourself over time.

1. Surround Yourself with Positivity

• Surrounding yourself with supportive people can significantly impact your mindset. If possible, seek out friends, mentors, or a coach who can encourage you to stay on the growth-focused path. According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland, the people you spend the most time with can significantly influence your mindset and behaviors.

1. Take Small, Consistent Action

• The best way to break a limiting belief is through action. Start with small, manageable steps that challenge your belief. If you think you’re “not athletic,” start with a short workout every day, and gradually increase your activity. Small wins will reinforce the belief that change is possible.

 Real-Life Examples and Success Stories

Let me share a quick story. One of my clients came to me believing she could never stick to a workout routine because she ‘never had before.’ She’d tried everything, but her belief that she was ‘inconsistent’ kept sabotaging her. We worked together to reframe that belief, focusing on small, achievable wins. Today, she’s not only consistent with her fitness routine, but she’s also taken that new sense of resilience into other areas of her life.

The Power of Breaking Free

So, here’s the takeaway: Limiting beliefs might feel like facts, but they’re simply stories we’ve told ourselves for too long. By identifying, questioning, and reframing them, we open ourselves up to a world of possibility. Imagine what your life could look like if you truly believed that you were capable of anything you set your mind to.

Have you ever thought about the things you tolerate in your life?  Perhaps it's disrespective, people overstepping your boundaries.  Maybe it's that you tolerate your own excuses, negative self-talk.  

What if, instead of, tolerating negative things, you learned to tolerate good things.  Things like more joy, compassion, self-love, good energy, love, acceptance, belonging??  

This impacts your mindset and your confidence.  How often do you just receive a compliment?  How often do you receive joy without turning around and self-sabotaging yourself?

Practical Ways to Begin Tolerating More Good

• Evaluate Relationships: Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. Choose to tolerate friends and colleagues who push you toward growth, not those who hold you back or drain your energy.  You’ll discover that the more that you grow, the more your sphere begins to change.  Better quality relationships begin to happen.

• Self-Care as a Priority: Replace “bare minimum” self-care with practices that genuinely nourish you. Eat foods that make you feel vibrant, exercise for mental clarity, and sleep in a way that recharges you fully.

• Setting Boundaries Around Positivity: It’s okay to say no to people or situations that don’t align with your vision. Choose to tolerate more positivity and make space for it by removing what doesn’t serve you.

It's time to step into this abundant life that awaits you.  You just have to be open to receive.  Do you have your receiver on?  

The courage to pave a new way:  Breaking free from the old patterns of life to embrace your true path

Sticking to a familiar path is comfortable and safe right?  This is the very reason that most people will remain stuck their entire life because it takes courage to go toward the unfamiliar.  This is unfortunately a big reason why many people stay in abusive homes.  I heard a young teenager, who was in an abusive relationship tell me that she stays because she believed she wouldn’t ever find anyone else that would like her. 

There are homes that are conditioned to believe that you must be controlled in order to enter into the kingdom of God.  Homes where manipulation is king of the household.   Then there are the homes where no-one ever took care of their health so it seems easier to continue eating unhealthy so you and deal with the damage that occurs as it comes.  There are so many examples of how our human nature is to stay with what’s familiar even if it’s bad for us. 

If you look closely, I’m sure you will see similar patterns in your life.  Family paths you have been walking down because it’s all you know and familiar seems easier than plowing a new path.  Trust me, I get it. Limiting beliefs and fear of failure can paralyze us, keeping us from pursuing what truly lights us up.  Fearing how relationships may be affected by our transformation can keep us stuck. It’s like being afraid of leaving a sinking ship, even when you know there’s solid land waiting for you.  Deep down, we often know when it’s time to break away and evolve but we ignore it out of fear.

When the pain of staying on the familiar path becomes greater than plowing a new one, that’s when freedom takes it’s course.  That’s when big things begin to transpire.  This is that awaking moment that we get.  Instead of being willing to plow before all of that happens we have to feel enough pain to want to get out of it in order for us to take action.

Perhaps, you are the one in your family or home that had the courage to plow a new path.  Congratulations!  It’s not easy.  But it’s much easier than staying where you were.  There may be some of you that are desiring for generational traumas in your family to end with you. Maybe you keep feeling that nudge to put your hands to the plow but you’ve been afraid of what that might look like.  You’re afraid of the repercussions.  You’re afraid of how it may alter relationships close to you.  You’re afraid of not having support.  Afraid of going at it alone.  This is where the plow comes in.  I promise you though, when you put your hands to the plow, you begin to find others along the path with plows in their hands as well.  You find support that you never knew existed but it’s going to take you being brave.  Brave enough to pack your lunch and get moving. 

My family has been those that made the decision to stop generation crud and pave a different way. 

Then there was the time that I decided to Take a completely different path podcasting and life coaching.  No-one close to me or in my family has done anything like it.  I was being prompted to break away from the familiar and plow a new path.  Not just with these 2 things but many others.  All the doubts swirled in my head.  Why?  Because I didn’t have a road map.  I didn’t have all of the answers.  And also, when others don’t understand you’re dream, they’re not as passionate about it as you are. It can feel lonely and even isolating.  Naturally, we want to know everything, which is something that I am working on not having to have in order to plow through.  With podcasting and coaching, I felt it deep within.  I felt like it was something that I needed to explore and begin breaking ground on.  It started as a vision back in about 2007.  I was on my way home from a bible study and this overwhelming  vision came upon me.  I saw myself speaking to thousands of people.  Boldly, charismatic, passion.  My heart started pounding with excitement.  That has always sat somewhere inside of me and sometimes misplaced over the years.  A vision that got dusty.  And after a decade of hardships, life, discouragement, pain, life experiences, I wondered if it would ever happen.  I kept feeling the pull occasionally.  It was in 2018/19 that I found a glimpse of the buried vision again.  I went to lunch with an acquaintance who I felt drawn to.  Over lunch and story time she asked me if I had ever considered life coaching.  I didn’t even know what it was at the time, but it got me curious.  She shared some podcast to listen to (didn’t know what that was either).  With each podcast episode I listened to the more dust came off of that vision.  I began to learn more and more over the years.  Lean into this unfamiliar and the discomfort that came with it.  Then I realized, I had been life coaching my entire life and didn’t even know it.  It’s a gift I had and for years I could only describe it as an encourager.  My hand had been on the plow for years but I didn’t know how to use it. 

Doesn’t doing anything different than people around  you feel like that.  You have tools and don’t know how to use them.  It’s like getting a gift and when you open it you’re grateful but aren’t sure what to do with it?

It’s time to find your inner strength to release what no longer serves you- old beliefs, relationships, habits, old ways of thinking, patterns, generational stuff.   Know that you are worth it.  The future you is counting on you to pave a new way. 

Don’t wait until life is too painful to bare.  Start taking action today.  For you, for the people you will help a long the way. 

Although, I kind of feel like you already know what you need to do.  What has been on your heart but I do want to offer a little bit of guidance to help you start paving your own path.

It is helpful to reflect on what’s no longer serving you and what you’re ready to let go of.  Really reflect.  How do you feel on a daily?  What relationships bring you down or discourage you?  What habits are causing you more harm than good?  What do you truly believe? 

Visualize the new life you desire to create.  Who do you want to be?  How do you want to feel?  What is she requiring of you?

Set clear, aligned intentions for what you want to bring into your life.  Perhaps journal or use voice notes. 

Find support communities that will support your growth and aren’t afraid of change. 

Even if none of the stuff I said today sticks, remember this, YOU have the ability to create a life that’s authentically yours.  You have everything you need to break generational garbage.  You don’t have to stay the same.  You don’t have to continue living a life you were raised to live.  It can stop and start with you.  Even if no-one in your family has been to college, doesn’t mean you can’t be the first.  Just because no-one in your family ever had a proper wedding, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.  Just because no-one in your family has ever made a lot of money doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.  Take courage, today!!  Put your hands on that plow and get to work.  You deserve this!

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