Joy@Work Podcast

Encourage  Are you tired of wasting time dealing with workplace drama and politiks? Perhaps you are crippled by toxic leaders and uninspired cultures and you know that there is a better way. In this episode we're going to introduce you to the triggers of exemplary workplace behaviour at the neurological level. And we'll tap into four of these triggers that will #UnLock performance and #UnLeash Team Power. By implementing these four you'll see higher productivity, well-being, retention and accountability. You'll see reduced absenteeism, less drama, the end of corrosive gossip and fewer accidents. Develop In Leading Difficult People, I shared with you about our deep seated human need for safety, belonging and mattering. The first two of those, safety and belonging are so primal to our personal engagement at work (or in life) that this time, I'm digging in a little more to the neuroscience that will allow us to create the ideal conditions for our teams to thrive. Human beings are social animals, we need some degree of social acceptance in our lives, and without it, we shrivel and die. Our limbic system is the mid part of our brain and is responsible for overseeing our emotional lives and is important in what we learn and commit to memory. You'll know about the amygdala, for example, the primary control centre for our freeze, fight , flight mode. That's housed in the Limbic system. Dr Jim Coan of the Virginia Affective Neuroscience Laboratory suggests that the limbic brain spends the entire day asking two questions: What's next? and How am I doing? And whilst these are broad generalisations, it's an incredibly helpful way for leaders who seek actionable models to improve engagement at work. How safe do you feel when you do not know what's coming next compared to how you feel when you do know what's coming next? Like most people, you'd probably feel less safe. When leaders become more predictable, consistent and transparent they become clear on what will happen next. When a leader seeks closer alignment around shared values, purpose and command intent - they are creating a consistent and predictable and participatory culture with immediate benefits to the limbic system. Our biological need to belong to a group or tribe drives the question: "How am I doing?" Our survival depends on the social resources of the group and so our limbic system is constantly assessing our membership status. "Am I in?" it asks. "Am I worthy? Do they see the value I add?" The limbic system doesn't ask this question once in a while; it asks every minute of every day! When a leader validates and recognises a team member, when they are acknowledged or appreciated, that isn't just some silly social gesture. It's a deeply important message direct to the recipients limbic system: "You have been noticed. You are seen and valued. You are safe. You are in." "And here's some useful feedback to help you stay safe and remain in the tribe." Don Rheem, author of Thrive by Design, says that answering these questions are behaving in a consistent and predictable manner and offering validation, recognition, and feedback. This makes team members (and others) feel safe and that they belong. He goes on to share four ways that leaders should focus their efforts to help their team members feel wanted, trusted and supported which in turn will improve retention, engagement and profits. Guide Neuroscience points us towards creating the ideal conditions that allow the brain to thrive and perform much closer to their potential. These conditions will help team members be more engaged, productive, healthier and happier in their work and workplace. Encourage trusted relationships and collaboration We thrive in a culture of trust, caring and collaboration. When our work tribe trusts each other and shares resources to support each other and the overall command intent, team members feel safer, feel that they belong and that what they do matters to the rest of their work tribe and the organ

Encourage Even in the direst circumstances, people seek out their purpose in life: Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning 1 Human beings have a deep, innate desire to find meaning in their lives. We want to matter. For some, it is to leave a legacy, to put a ding in the universe, or to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done. For others, it is about success, reputation or recognition. For many who have found their true meaning, they know it's about others and less about self. And yet for many many more, it is an unknown, idealised and unrealistic dream. Researchers have shown that meaningfulness is more important to employees than pay and rewards, promotions or even working conditions. 2 Work that is meaningful can be highly motivational, performance enhancing, satisfying and leads to greater commitment. 3 Yet, recently I was running a workshop with a group of millennials and I was unsurprised that not one of them had a clear purpose for their life, not even a career plan or really a semblance of any idea what they wanted let alone why they might have been put on this earth. My surprise was that this time, not one of them has put thought into it. Usually, one or two will tentatively raise their hands that they have some sort of idea or plan for their own future. And yet we hear so many stories that Millennials seek more from jobs than a salary. They are , apparently, greatly concerned about environmental issues, climate change, social injustice. And they want to be engaged at work- yet less than 30% are. And they seek personal life balance int heir work. So not so very different from Gen X'ers, Baby Boomers and Founding fathers. Develop I was given some pretty poor advice when I was young to pursue my passion in life. "Do what you love and you won't work another day in your life." Which is all well and good until you change your mind about what you are passionate about. Passion is self-serving, egotistical and selfish. It's for you alone. And it changes. For some people it changes over years, for others it changes in minutes. Most often, your passion tends to be associated with something you are good at doing. You love doing this. You enjoy it. I've met many an accountant who went into it in part due to parental expectations and bias, in other part that they were good at maths and liked earning and counting money. A few years later, the glisten of accounting can wear off and the feeling of something missing looms larger and larger. The dictionary can help us out here: Passion: a strong or powerful emotion This is not the same as being engaged with work: Engaged: to occupy the attention or efforts of (a person or persons): Though you could argue that your attention would be occupied by doing something that you are passionate about. Passion is good to put fire in your belly but as Ryan Holiday points out in his book, “Ego is the Enemy, ”Passion is for the amateurs" he says, and continues with, “passion is seen in those who can tell you in great detail who they intend to become and what their success will be like.” Though they haven’t gotten there, and might not even be on the right track. Ouch! If passion is the fire, then purpose is the fuel. It is "Why" you do what you do. It's "Why" you were born, "Why" you have the gifts and talents you have. Purpose: The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or goal: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists As you search to make your work meaningful, it aligns with your purpose (and if you are truly blessed, aligns with your passion as well.) Research at MITSloan Management Review found five qualities of Meaningful work: Self-transcendent (it's not about you!) - your work aligns with your purpose or even is your purpose. We find meaning in work when our work matters more to others than to just ourselves. Abraham Maslow's original hierarchy had "Self-transcendence" at the apex Poignant (meaning doesn't always co

What if you could feel truly appreciated and deeply satisfied every single day? What if you could experience a more joyful, appreciative and considerate workplace and it only costs you seven minutes of a day? In an earlier podcast I shared about the seven most important minutes of your day. Well, here's another hack for your Joyous delight and satisfaction that could be an additional 7 minutes, or instead. It's up to you just how much joy you want in your life. Well you can. Encourage I'm going to take a wild guess here that your work and your life has become more demanding. Furthermore, I can be pretty certain that you feel under-valued. I'll even dare to suggest that your pay is not the main issue in feeling under-valued, rather it's because it seems that no-one truly appreciates the value you deliver. Something deep inside our pysche screams out to be appreciated. When we're not appreciated, then our satisfaction with life, with our job, with ourselves, is diminished. You might have quit a job to take another with more salary in the belief that you would feel better. And for a while, that might have worked well enough. But after the honeymoon was over and the realities of everyday started to take their toll, even the extra money began to seem insufficient. The offer of a higher salary felt good because it aroused your anticipation of pleasure (increased dopamine in your brain making the offer attractive). But dopamine is short-lived in making us feel good - so we seek another dose, then another and another and then some more (not necessarily a good thing!). Sadly, the extra cash doesn't (ever) deliver the anticipated long-term happiness. What we're really after is some oxytocin and a dose of serotonin - we want to feel loved (or at least a sense of belonging to a trusted tribe) from the oxytocin and a sense of delighted satisfaction with the serotonin. And what better way to feel valued than someone else to appreciate you for your contribution? You feel more loved (appreciated) thanks to the oxytocin, and you'll feel more satisfied thanks to the serotonin produced when you are appreciated by someone else. So how do you get your boss, colleague, staff, partner, kids, parents, customer to appreciate you for well, anything at all? You could be giving the very best possible service, providing the very best of you and yet still it seems to go unnoticed. You could yell and scream and beg them to appreciate you. Throw a hissy fit and stomp off telling them that they don't deserve you. You could just suck it up and think that life is like that and people are unappreciative. You could try and stop being so wonderful and find out of they even notice. Or you could try something radical that actually works. Develop So, you've tried one or more of the tactics everyone uses at some point in their life to get the appreciation you so richly deserve to no avail. Or was it? It is possible that they did try to show you their appreciation. They just used the wrong language. And by language, I mean your language of appreciation. Dr Gary Chapman and Paul E. White wrote a wonderful book called the "5 Love Languages" that has impacted millions worldwide with their love and marriages. And they've written a version for work (because it seems that "love" is a bit too squishy and personal for the workplace) called the "5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace" on how to effectively communicate appreciation at work using the 5 languages that matter to people. Essentially, each of us feels appreciated in different ways. That is, we have different "languages of appreciation". Typically, we will use the language of appreciation that matters to ourself. If you have a different language of appreciation, my appreciation of you goes unnoticed. It's as if I am speaking perfect French and you only understand Chinese. Most, if not all that I speak will just be non-sense to you. Similarly, you speaking Chinese will make no sense to me. The five languages of a

Encourage We've all had to deal with them. Perhaps you still are dealing with them? Difficult People. They come in all shapes and sizes. All races, all genders, and all backgrounds. They only share two things in common, but I'll come back to that in a little while. As a professional executive coach I occasionally get asked by organisation leaders if I can help them "fix" one of their more "difficult" or "problematic" team members. They see potential in this person but there's a problem in their style or approach that needs developing. Some of them are like Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live: Always ready with a depressing take on everything being discussed. Some people only seem to be happy when they're unhappy and bringing everyone else down with them to the pit of despair. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfE93xON8jk Other jerks seem to get a kick out of creating problems for everyone else and pushing people's buttons. Needling away on their pet topic and with a keen eye for any signs of weakness in others. Then we have the bullies. Instead of pushing people's metaphorical buttons, they seem to get off on literally pushing people around, shouting the loudest, forcing others to do things they don't want to and worse. At least with the downers, the jerks and the bullies everyone knows who they are. But some of the most difficult people to lead are the timid and frightened. They can be so fearful of confrontation and conflict that they hide and disappear just when you need them. Or perhaps you have someone on your team who is so disorganised and yet desperate to succeed and never seems to make any headway? And then we have the cynics and scoffers who undermine everything with their often sarcastic wit and pointed barbs. Or perhaps your most difficult person is the gossip who spread rumours, half-truths and juicy tid-bits in hushed tones over "team lunches" turning everyone against you whilst to your face, oh they're as sweet as honey and in front of the boss... well you have to admire their front and acting skills. Yes, they come in all shapes and sizes, races, genders and from all backgrounds and they share two things in common: The first important thing they all have in common is that they are all "people". We are dealing here with human beings. And we know from neuroscience that human beings share very much more in common in what drives them and causes these behaviours. The second thing they have in common is you. If you're reading or listening to this, then you have one or more people in your life whom you find difficult, and you want to know how to lead them or simply deal with them. It's OK, you are in the right place. Before we head into the "how", we need a few moments to understand what is happening with these people. And for that we'll be turning to a little neuroscience. Develop I recently read a terrific book by Christine Comaford: ""Power Your Tribe". She also writes for Forbes and has built on Abram Maslow's hierarchy of needs showing the neurological drivers all humans share. And it's primal. Your brain knows two states that matter: Dead and not-dead. Your brain's primary job is to keep you in the "not dead" state. And you really don't care about leading difficult people when you are "dead". To keep you in the "not dead" state, your brain guides your body to satisfy your physiological needs first and foremost. You have to eat, drink, find shelter, and stay warm (or cool). If any of that is threatened by anyone or anything, your brain will guide you to protect it before "not dead" becomes "dead". Now that you are in the "not dead" state we have three more primal drivers of our behaviours: Safety, Belonging and Mattering. Only when these three are also satisfied to our brain's content do we consider "self-actualization" and doing things beyond the norm for ourselves. And we crave these three things: Safety, Belonging and Mattering. Some people may crave more of one than the others, but we all crave all thre

Coaching a colleague, a team member or anyone you know well is a challenging situation. For example, a manager usually conducts the performance review for their staff focusing on their performance in the job and team which may lead to a recommendation about salary or promotions. A coach is focussed on developing the person in their job and life but does not normally, recommend salary or promotions. As a friend, you would be interested in the other persons well-being and their feelings. You might not push them hard or challenge them in fear of breaking the relationship. As a coach, you may be pushing your client hard, challenging them deeply to improve their performance. How to Be An Effective Buddy Coach By far the best way to find a great accountability partner is to be one for each other. Below are a few tips to help you in getting the most of out of your Success Journey: 1. Get off on the right foot When you first sit down with your buddy, we recommend that you mention a couple of things up front: Reiterate the fact that you’ll be taking a lot of notes throughout the process. Recognizing the awkwardness of having an intimate conversation while writing notes up front can help the process move forward smoothly. Remind them that the reason you’re taking notes is to be able to record key themes and ideas that are necessary for helping them forge success.   Take a few minutes to discuss confidentiality. As we mentioned, a lot of the information you hear may be very personal. Reassure the participant that the information they share with you will be confidential. 2. Leave your personal bias aside We often perceive people differently than they perceive themselves. The Success Journey belongs to the participant. They must be allowed to discover who they are, not who you think they are. The most effective buddies are able to gather and process information objectively, without adding personal bias. Avoid leading questions that will validate your perceptions. The participant should be doing the majority of the talking. Certain exercises may prompt your input or participation, which will aid in the process. However, for the most part do your best to simply collect, clarify and organize the information you receive so you can help identify the patterns and themes that lead to their own discovery. The most effective buddies don’t inflate their own ego (or yours) 3. Listen Listening is an active process. Maximize the retention of the information you hear by being engaged in the process and by taking notes, recording the process or even both. Don’t rely on your memory alone to recall the information you’ll need. To be an effective buddy, it’s important for you to understand the three different types of listening: Everyday listening is usually subjective, meaning that the listener is hearing things as it relates to him/her. The listener is generally thinking of what they are going to say next and often times can’t even remember what was said to them when asked to recall it just moments later. This is not the type of listening you’ll want to use throughout the Forging Success Journey. Listening is an active process. Like a good doctor, you’re listening for the underlying heartbeat. When you are completely focused on what the other person is saying, you are listening objectively. There are no thoughts about how any of the information relates personally or professionally to you. Objective listening is much more effective than subjective listening for this process because it allows you to focus your attention on the participant. As human beings, we naturally relate what people are saying to ourselves and have the desire to interject our own experiences and ideas in order to relate or connect. Try to avoid that urge. If you feel these thoughts come up, do your best to dismiss them and focus on what the participant is sharing. While staying objective, active listening means you’re also listening to all the sensory components. You’re reading between

Encourage Your aptitude (your "natural" ability to do something) is thought by many people to be the main driver of their success. We raise people with those noticeable talents onto pedestals in a form of worship. Imagine yourself as a star soccer player, or the lead singer in your favourite band, an actor in an awesome movie. There are even some people who are simply famous at being famous. But everyday life for the vast majority of people isn't a movie. Our giftedness is a little less flashy and a little more humdrum. And almost every day we come across challenges and difficulties and it is how we face those challenges that sets us apart. Indeed, since Daniel Goleman's research for his landmark book, "Emotional Intelligence", others have gone on to reinforce that the "how" you approach challenges is far more important than what you actually do to resolve them, about 80/20. How you approach something is determined by your chosen attitude to the situation. And what matters here is that you can choose your attitude in spite of your initial feelings. And choosing a good attitude will improve your outcome and sets you above in the eyes of others. As Zig Ziglar originally shared, Your Altitude is determined more by your Attitude than your Aptitude. Develop: 5 Power Attitudes My own research shows that those who are most successful over the long term share three questions they ask themselves and five power attitudes they adopt, as if they were real, to face daily challenges successfully. In your brain, the process we are going to reframe whatever the problem, challenge or situation you observe. Like me and everyone else, when you come across a problem or challenging situation, your brain notes two key things: What is perceived to be happening or what is involved - the Content, and What is the setting in which this is happening - the Context. Both of which rely on your personal judgement and perception, which is influenced by your prior experience and memory and all of your personal, cognitive biases - which inform and shape your attitude to the situation. Successful and admired leaders pause a moment before judging the situation and consider different angles and approaches to help find the optimum solution, they deliberately adopt one or more of five power attitudes: Respect the OTHER person’s model of the world The meaning of your communication is the RESPONSE you get back People are NOT their behaviours People CAN change anything There is NO failure, only feedback 1. Respect the OTHER person's model of the world The way you and I view the world is different. Everyone looks at the world through a lens shaped by memory, experience, upbringing, values, beliefs, parents, exposure to media and etc. In the USA, political party affiliations are known to shape how someone interprets the same news about a speech by a presidential candidate. Religious beliefs often determine how one person views a situation compared with someone seeing exactly the same thing, but with a different belief. I'm not suggesting that they are right and you are wrong, nor am I daring to suggest that you should change your beliefs or affiliations. I am simply asking you to respect that they have their views and you have yours. They are as entitled to their perspective as you are to yours. I'm not even asking you to wear their shoes and imagine what the situation may look like if you shared their belief, their experiences. I am suggesting that you simply have due regard for their feelings, wishes, beliefs or rights. When you look at the situation now, you may find a better way to approach the challenge that may have greater chance of success for all concerned. Wear the attitude as if it were true and see how your greater empathy build more trust. 2. The meaning of your communication is the RESPONSE you get back "I just don't get it" she said to me. That was my fault. It wasn't that she was insufficiently able to make it happen, it wasn't that she hadn't listened

Encourage One thing that separates the calm and joyful person from the stressed and depressed is a useful balance something known as the locus of control. Someone with an internal locus of control believes that he or she can influence events and their outcomes, while someone with an external locus of control blames outside forces for everything. In general terms, if you believe that everything is beyond or outside your control, then you are likely to be more anxious, highly stressed and quick to blame others for all failings. And normally, a high internal locus of control means that you accept responsibility that your abilities and effort determine your outcomes. An internal locus of control is going to bring you more benefits in the long-term as you choose to be at cause for your life. But let's be clear, it's a belief that you can influence events and their outcomes, not always control them. What we need is an appropriate balance of being in control. Indeed oftentimes we need to let go to gain control. You may feel stressed because you believe that everything depends entirely (and exclusively) on you and your efforts, or you may be feeling stressed because you believe that nothing at all is within your control. Develop What helps distinguish between being stressed out and effective is about control and, quite literally, how "hands-on" you are. If you have ever learned to play the game of golf, you'll know that at the beginning of learning to play that you grip the club tightly. After all this is basically holding onto a stick that you will swing through the air and hit a ball. Allowing the club to "follow-through' - if you don't hold on tight, the club might just go as far as the ball. I appreciate that you may have never played golf, but you can liken this also to the tight grip of the reins of a horse to controlling your dog on a very short leash to holding on tight to your child's hand New golfers have to learn how to 'let go' - to relax their grip. If a tight grip is a ten on a scale, we want a 4 out of 10. The same is true of leadership and the way we hold on to our people. Hold on too tight (micromanage) and people have little freedom to use their own skills and strength. Hold on too tight to the club, and it is the golfer doing all the work. So the question is: "who should be doing the work?" The manager or leader or the member of staff, or someone else more capable or who has more time to spare? A golf club is weighted for a reason. If you allow the club to do the work, the swing and striking of the ball, becomes almost effortless. Relax your grip on your team and allow them to excel at what they do, and the work becomes almost effortless. Once you know, as a golfer, that the club is designed to do the job of striking the ball, and your job is simply to swing and allow physics do to its job, you can relax. Maintain just enough control to ensure alignment, direction and distance and the ball will fly according to the club used, and the size of the swing. If you want a long distance, you use a long club and a full swing. A short distance off the fairway onto the green requires a shorter distance club and a smaller swing. The power to achieve the distance lies in the tool being employed and the chosen swing - the rest is pure physics. Guide So what can we learn as a leader? To hit your target, at some point you have to let go Isn't it the same? Make sure that you are using the right tool(s) - the person needs the right skill set (and/or mindset) and time to do the required job. The leader's job is to have a little control to ensure that the skills are employed in the right direction for the right distance - that's about judging how far it is to the goal and translating that into the swing itself - in the case of people, the swing is influence and motivation... let the staff do the rest. And just like that golf ball landing exactly where you both planned and wanted it to be for the next shot. You celebrate. Unlike golf,

Encourage Every day you are busy. Emails fill your inbox, some of them might even matter. Your todo list gets ticked off... or not. You attend meetings, deal with clients, chat with the boss, communicate with colleagues, deal with crises, handle problems, worry about tomorrow, think about yesterday, fret over a sick child ... and the list goes on. If you are disciplined, you get to the gym or exercise at least 3 times a week and keep a wary eye on your diet, and make sure that you get enough rest at night. If you don't do these then you know that your body is more likely to break down. You know that you have to make time to look after your body and put in some effort. But do you look after your brain as well? Taking time to pause and meditate or be mindful is perhaps the most critical instrument to cultivate peak performance. You train your body to grow muscles and keep your weight in check. Well, taking time to pause, meditate or be mindful is like training your brain and taking control of the five types of brain waves so that you can be in charge of your life. Develop At the root of all your thinking, emotions and behaviours is the electrical and chemical communication between neurons inside your brain. And all that electrical activity is measured in the form of brainwaves. Brainwaves are grouped into five distinct categories, each associated with specific tasks and mental state. At our highest frequency we have gamma waves. These are associated with insight, peak focus, and expanded consciousness. If you are currently sharply concentrating on this new information, it'll be gamma waves that are helping you store this learning and associating it with existing knowledge and experience. A little slower in frequency and we have beta waves. This is the state you probably spend most of your active day especially in the urban jungle and our always-on society. Fabulously, beta waves allow us to concentrate hard on the task at hand and they are critical when we read, write and socialise but there is a cost in that beta waves can sap our energy and reduce emotional awareness and creativity. Once you get home and relax and reflect quietly your brain waves slow down to alpha waves. If you suffer from insomnia, anxiety or obsessive-compulsive symptoms you likely don't switch down to alpha and you need help. If on the other hand, you keep on socialising, watching fast-paced television or studying, you are keeping your brain in beta or even gamma state. And that's simply exhausting you. When you nod off into the world of dreaming, you experience theta waves. Interestingly, theta waves are also present when you are in that elusive, brilliant, effortless state often called being in the "flow" of peak performance. It's that autopilot type state you've been in when driving home on a familiar route, arriving home and wondering how you got there. It's in this state that many people get their flashes of insight or bursts of creativity. Lastly, we have delta waves which are associated with deep dreamless sleep. Some people can meditate themselves into this state whilst remaining alert and awake. These waves are the source of empathy, healing and regeneration - hence why deep restorative sleep is so essential to the healing process. Manipulating brainwaves The biggest issue for most people in this modern, always-on, hustle and busyness lifestyle is that we rarely make time to allow our brains to slow down. We get stressed and perhaps anxious, and the mind is whirring away at a fast pace zapping through energy and leaving the body exhausted. So how do we alter our brainwaves? Any process that changes your perception, changes your brain waves! Our brainwaves change according to what we are doing and how we are feeling. When slower brainwaves are dominant, we can feel tired, slow, sluggish or dreamy. When higher frequencies are prevalent, we feel wired, hyper or "buzzed". So, change what you are doing, and your brainwaves soon respond. It can take som

Encourage When you ask someone what they want from life, most people will tell you that they want to be happy. Push a little bit more and they will tell you they want to do something useful or meaningful, make a difference, leave a legacy, or fulfil a calling. We call that succeeding. That is, the activities we undertake every day provide us with personal happiness or satisfaction and have long term benefits for yourself and/or other people. Some people are happy because they do something that helps others long term, even short term. Others do so out of some form of obligation or guilt and do not derive happiness from it. Many people find each day something of a chore, that is neither satisfying nor brings long term benefits. And an increasing number of people fill their days with fun activities that provide little benefit to anyone. Develop Look across the room to your fellow diners and it's highly likely that the next table are all staring at their phones. A passenger in the car next to you is playing a game. Kids sit glued to their tablet. We carry devices around with us that link us instantly to a world of entertainment and distraction. Then there's work. Which, in comparison can seem to be a lot less stimulating, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Then the blessed relief of a beep means an interesting and exciting message has been pushed through to your device and a shot of dopamine spikes through your brain bringing the promise of untold pleasure and fun. You open your inbox and see message after message demanding attention but you want to ignore because they're not the fun type of message. In fact, they cause a jolt of cortisol to flush through your brain and a little norepinephrine that triggers your fight or flight travel centre to divert energy from your stomach to your arms and legs. Every day you are faced with choices about what to do when. It's tempting to take the short term happiness generators, or maybe you're the sort of person who buckles down and does the most unpleasant task first saving the fun stuff for later? It's going to help you know what you spend your time on now and evaluating using this chart. ` This chart has two dimensions and five different modes of behaviour that we use to characterise our relationship to any activity. You simply ask two questions about an activity you undertake: Does this activity make me happy (or provide a degree of short-term satisfaction)? Are the results achieved from this activity worth my effort in giving a long-term positive impact on my life? There are no “right” answers to these questions, and your rating score is entirely down to you (by all means keep changing it until you work out what is really a 10, and what is really a 1) In an ideal perfect world, we would find great short-term happiness in everything we do, and each reaps the long-term benefit. In reality, we all do things that run short of the perfect score for us, but the more we can get the balance and the higher, the better. For high performance, you do those things that bring the greatest long-term benefit in the shortest time. For most fun you do those things that bring the greatest happiness over the longest period of time. In the end, it’s your choice but the better the overall balance, the more likely you are to enjoy each and every day. You can then plot your regular activities on a chart like the one above. Which activities are Surviving, which stimulating, sacrificing succeeding or are they sustaining? Guide Stimulating activities feed your short-term satisfaction but do little for long-term benefit. Watching an amusing YouTube video, most television programming, an alcoholic drink or three, smoking a cigarette or taking drugs may provide a quick "high" but long-term could even be harmful. It's increasingly easy to fritter your life away on fun but meaningless activities and many of these activities are addictive in part because of the ease of stimulating dopamine spikes in the brain. Sacrifici

President Harry S. Truman had a famous sign on his desk that read: "The Buck Stops Here." A clear indicator that he accepted accountability for all the decisions of his administration. There are leaders like Truman in politics and organisations today, though not many. Accountability starts with honesty. Being able to set aside personal pride and admit your own mistakes and being honest first with yourself, and then to all of those you serve as a leader. It shows that you can be trusted as a leader and that even you can be fallible. I'm sorry if this is going to hurt your pride a little, but you are not perfect in everything you say and do. It's OK, I'm not either, and nor is anybody else. That doesn't mean that we hide behind the excuse that "I'm not perfect" but it does mean being open to correction and improvement in a very public way. I was running one of our Golf Leadership programmes for a local company owned and run by a very traditional, senior Asian businessman known by his initials "CS". He happened to be teamed up with his female PA who had, until this day, never picked up a golf club. He was an old hand at the game with a very respectable handicap. They were on the 5th and final tee for our game. A narrow fairway with tress on the left, water on the right and the green and hole just 220m in a dead straight line. It was a warm day with cloud cover and little wind. The PA took her spot at the tee, put everything she had learned into practice from the morning and calmly sent the ball flying, straight as an arrow to land 160m in the middle of the fairway. It was a beautiful thing to watch for a newcomer and she was thrilled. The boss took his place, a grudging nod of appreciation to his PA and lined up for his shot. He'd skipped out on much of the morning session for "more vital and important things than training" and hooked his drive into the trees. A few choice dialect cusses and a spare ball magically appears on the tee. He lines up the shot, tests the weight of his custom clubs, a few practice swings and shuffles his feet and then swings with a beautiful, magnificent example of how to slice the ball into the water. The faintest snort behind him, or was it a giggle? And the custom club comes crunching onto the big green ball beneath our feet accompanied by a stream of cusses. The boss collects himself, turns to my camera guy and demands the footage be erased. Money is proffered and refused. Threats are offered and similar rebuffed. A while later I persuade the CS to allow us to show the video to all the team. He was so fearful of losing face in front of his staff and concerned that they would now know that he could lose his temper quite so violently. I assured CS this was not going to be a moment of revelation to his staff. Rather, it was a moment of relief for them. Now, nobody had to tell him about the issue and risk that very temper. We showed the video to the team and a lengthy discussion followed beginning with CS offering the whole team an apology for his behaviour and a request for their support going forward. When we are honest with ourselves and with others, we are taking responsibility for our behaviours and actions and then we can hold ourselves accountable for the results. 2. Accountable leaders are honest and voluntarily say "I'm sorry" when something goes wrong and they bear some or all the responsibility for the wrongdoing. When the wrongdoing is by someone who works for them, accountable leaders accept their part in their responsibility for the decisions or instructions that may have been a party to the wronghappening. Too often we hear leaders shifting the focus of attention for the blame onto someone, or something else. Whether it's a politician "spinning" bad news and shifting the blame to anyone who is less able to defend themself, or the CEO of a multi-national desperately trying to escape responsibility for a major disaster. "This was not our accident …" said Tony Hayward, Chief Executive of BP