Judith Mills has a simple message: if you want people to listen to them and work with you, you have to listen to them. "In order to show respect and build trust and have people take ownership, it helps if you listen to them rather than just tell them what to do." In her session "Can you hear me now? Start Listening Instead", Judith advises against jumping into providing the solution -- something that coaches and leaders sometimes do. By listening, we create a sense of shared ownership and active involvement.

More advice from Judith on listening:

- When speaking, think about the listener. How are people taking the information provided them? Did you leave out any pertinent information that might help the message land better?

- When listening, are we qualifying what we're hearing? Use paraphrases to validate that you heard what they said.

- During problem-solving, don't jump to solve the problem. Try to understand what attempts have been made previously. Problem-solving isn't about proving your value.

SolutionsIQ's Dan Fuller hosts at Southern Fried Agile 2016 in Charlotte, North Carolina.

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