Jump Start Your Joy®

Liz Applegate is a coach, entrepreneur, founder of Tame Business Overwhelm, and host of Midlife Schmidlife. I feel so fortunate to call her my friend, to share a birthday with her! And to have her on the show this week to talk about how you can tame your business overwhelm, define your own process, and, get shit done.

In this episode, Liz and I talk about: -Taking action, even when it feels overwhelming -The wisdom of procrastination -The difference between self care and numbing out (and how to know the know the difference) -Dreading the first step of something, or getting started with something -How to keep projects or work moving when you have a family or other priorities in your life -Finding a happy medium in process and commitments -Getting curious about your own process, and listening to your intuition about what works best for you -How to tame business overwhelm -Setting up habits to support your process and getting work done

Resources The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin on Amazon A Mastermind Shares Proven Ways to Feel More Confident In Your Work and Life - Episode 132 A Mastermind Group Shares About the First Two Years of Being an Entrepreneur with Guests Julie Houghton and Liz Applegate - Episode 100 Finding Connection and Support as an Entrepreneur with Liz Applegate and Julie Houghton - Episode 41

As an entrepreneur, setting boundaries and definitions around the work you do, and around your schedule and time are two of the kindest things you can do for yourself and your growing business. When you're in charge of your own business and dependent on the income from that business, it becomes easy to get caught up in wanting to help "everyone," and working all the time. I want to assure you that when you make it a point to define a niche of who you work with, and set some structure around when you work, you'll find that it's better for you, for your clients, and for your business.

Setting Boundaries is a Way of Being Kind to Yourself as An Entrepreneur This week's show is all about setting up the mindful steps to design a business you love, and the kind of business you dreamed about when you started out on your entrepreneurial journey. In Brene Brown's book, Dare to Lead, she shares her thoughts about creating clarity as a leader.

"Over our years of researching and working together, we've learned something about clarity that has changed everything from the way we talk to each other to the way we negotiate with external partners. It's simple but transformative: Clear is kind. Unclear is Unkind. I first heard this saying two decades ago in a 12-step meeting, but I was on slogan overload at the time and didn't even think about it again until I saw the data about how most of us avoid clarity because we tell ourselves that we're being kind, when what we're actually doing is being unkind and unfair. Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind. Not getting clear with colleagues about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind. Talking about about people instead of to them is unkind. This lesson has so wildly transformed my life that we live by it at home."

What Dr. Brown says here about being a leader at work is one that you can layer onto your work as an entrepreneur, and it's the departure point for this week's show (which you can listen to above). I'm asking the questions of: How can you create clarity for your work, when you are your own boss? How can you be kind to yourself? How can you set up guidelines that are ultimately kind to you, and to your clients?

Dare to Lead by Brene Brown on Amazon The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron on Amazon Time Tracking App: At Work for iPhone or Android Fiverr for editing and other small entrepreneur support tasks Episode 74: Helen McLaughlin on Curiosity as a Foundation for Living Episode 112: Alexandra Franzen on Rejection, Defeat, and Terrible Bosses

Kate Bee is a former journalist, and the founder of The Sober School. I'm excited to have her on the show to talk about embracing sobriety, and how she works with women to create an alcohol free life they love. Growing up in England, Kate started drinking as a teen (where the legal drinking age for beer is 18 in a pub), and it was a habit that she continued well into her working life after college.

In this episode Kate Bee and I talk about:

• Her early love of writing, arts and crafts, blogging, and graphic design
• Letting go of habits that are holding you back
• The current culture of drinking, and how it is pervasive
• What to do when you worry that you are having too much alcohol, regularly
• Why people numb out, and why alcohol is a popular choice
• The difference between social drinking and alcoholism
• The many good changes that come out of making a shift to being sober
• Learning to parent and mother yourself; how to treat yourself with love
• Are you really feeling true emotions when you are drinking, or is everything numbed out a little
• Jumpstarting your joy by focusing on what you are good at, exercising instead of drinking, and self care in the form of turning off your email and leaving your desk

Resources Kate Bee's website, The Sober School The Sober School course, starting April 2019

Renee Linnell is the author of The Burn Zone, and a serial entrepreneur. At age 33 she woke up one morning and realized that she had very unintentionally joined a Buddhist cult. What had started as a quest for spiritual learning, and finding a place that felt like home to her turned out to be an intense group well versed in brainwashing, and converting others to bring in money to help support the larger cause.

In this episode Renee Linnell and I talk about:

• Her early love of solitude, dancing, being near the ocean, and reading
• Recognizing she is and was a HSP (highly sensitive person) and an introvert from an early age
• That all the people closest to her died by the time she was 15, leaving her with just her brother and alcoholic mother
• How she found herself drawn to a Buddhist teacher, after being a spiritual seeker for many years
• The moment of walking in to a meditation retreat and feeling like she was home
• The fine line of being deeply inspired, and aligned with a spiritual group AND being involved with a cult
• What's brainwashing?
• How to get out of a "bad" situation like a cult and learn to trust yourself again
• The reincarnation of animals
• Getting in touch with your inner three year old (and what your inner child can teach you about self love)
• That we all have unique, beautiful gifts to share: be that an accountant or an artist
• Jumpstarting your joy by turning up the volume on what makes you weird or different, taking time to do the things you love, and giving back based on what you're really good at

Resources Renee Linnell's website The Burn Zone by Renee Linnell on Amazon

Francesca Hogi is a dating and career coach, 2 time Survivor contestant, and a lawyer. She and I met last year in Atlanta, and I loved her take on life and love, and very much wanted to get the chance to chat with her more about the crossroads of joy and relationships. More than anything, I love that the heart of her work is all about love: how to find it in relationships, and how to find love in the work you do. We had a fun and light filled discussion and I feel so grateful that she joined me this week.

In this episode Francesca Hogi and I talk about:

-Her early love of reading, and not knowing what she wanted to be for a career -Working as a lawyer -How she was interested early on in relationships and dating -Attending the Match Making Institute -How baby steps brought her to become a match maker, and later a coach -Becoming an entrepreneur -Advice for finding the right relationship -Celebrating our "unconscious genius" -Aiming for contentment and joy in a relationship, and looking at what you prioritize in finding a partner -Jumpstarting your joy by talking to strangers, taking a social media break, and keeping a gratitude journal

Resources Francesca Hogi's website Francesca on Instagram Francesca on Twitter Francesca's free mastermind

Sharon Prentice is a psychotherapist, spiritual counselor, and author of the book Becoming Starlight: A Shared Death Journey from Darkness and Light. Her journey includes having lost her daughter, and her husband, and then having a shared death experience with him when he passed away. At the time, she experienced the presence of the divine, and was instilled with a sense that everything (including the passing of two people she loved so much) was just as it should be. I'm thrilled to have her on the podcast to talk about her shared death experience, and how that event shifted so many things in her life.

Inspired by the Immense Love She Felt in a Shared Death Experience One of the things that Sharon shares in her book and on the show is that at the time of her husband's passing, she was still incredibly angry and upset with God for the loss of her daughter several years prior. Stephanie was born, and passed away the same day, and Sharon fell into a "newfound love of darkness that I carried with me always. Not as an anchor but a new way of living in the world that I had come to know was cruel and unforgiving and God-less."

This event was spiritually book ended for her when she lost her husband. In the moment that he passed, Sharon felt herself being transported into what she calls Starlight. Surrounded by love, presence, and divinity beyond words, she sensed she was whole, accepted and loved beyond comprehension by a God that she had turned away from.

"I felt more whole, more forgiven than I'd ever felt before. I now felt nothing except an all-encompassing love and compassion. My heart held no fear, no anger, no grief, no struggle. I was complete just as I was -- I lacked nothing. Deep down, I suppose I had always known this; I had just forgotten it for awhile." (pg 123)

In our interview, Sharon talks about his even more. What strikes me, and why I find this inspiring is that this love and compassion is something that the Divine holds for each of us. It's not held for just a few. When I think about this radical acceptance, I wonder what would be possible for myself if I accepted the abundance, love, and compassion that is meant for me?

In this episode Sharon Prentice and I talk about: -Her early childhood at Cape Cod, dancing and listening to music -The spiritual nature of the ocean and why it draws us both in -Sharon's work with the terminally ill, and why she feels it's her life's work -The spiritual nature, and root of, all therapy work -Her Shared Death Experience, and how it felt like coming home -Jesus and my favorite passage in the Bible (Father, Father, Why have you forsaken me?" -Centering Prayer and meditation -Her husband Steve's last breath, and how it provided an entrance into a Shared Death Experience for her -How to jumpstart your joy: wake up with a smile, tell the people in your life you love them, and focused prayer

Resources

Becoming Starlight: A Shared Death Journey from Darkness to Light by Sharon Prentice on Amazon Sharon Prentice's Website Sharon Prentice PhD's Facebook page

Other resources for Grief, Death, and Dying: Episode 168: Jonni Pollard on How to Awaken to The Truth of Who You Are Episode 127: Julia Samuel on Grief Works, and the Stories of Life, Death, and Surviving Episode 141: Debbie Augenthaler on Grief, Trauma, and Healing: You Are Not Alone

Here are the top 8 reasons why, if I could choose to be any spaceship in the galaxy, I'd choose to be the Millennium Falcon:

1. The Falcon is a named character in the movies, with personality, and a story arc.

2. The Millennium Falcon is fast, or, is it really just super smart?

3. This ship is part of something much bigger than itself.

5. The Millennium Falcon is a symbol of hope.

6. The Falcon is always waiting for the right people, and it's a great get away vehicle.

7. The Falcon is a connector between main characters, and they have a connection to it.

8. The Millennium Falcon is a home.

Resources Episode 3: Matthew Wood (The Voice of General Grievous in Star Wars) on Crafting Joy in the Crossfade

Episode 59: Finding Joy in "Star Wars in the Yard" with Russell Hurst

The Ways the Millennium Falcon Were Different in "Solo: A Star Wars Story"

L3-37's Story Changes Everything We Knew About the Millennium Falcon Solo: A Star Wars Story on Wikipedia Solo: A Star Wars Story Has Franchise's First Main Female Droid

Will Star Wars 9 Blow Up the Millennium Falcon?

There are so many ways that choice (and your mindset on choice) impacts the level of joy in your life. This week on the podcast, I'm exploring the topic of choice with these five great angles:

1. You are always in choice
2. Are choosing love, or choosing fear when you make a decision?
3. Build in the mindfulness of "awareness, choice, action"
4. Choose graciousness and spaciousness and allow others the room to do the same
5. Choose to surround yourself with things that inspire you and uplift you

Resources Oprah's interview with Maya Angelou from December, 2000 Michelle Obama on "When they go low, we go high" Women, Food, and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything by Geneen Roth on Amazon The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo on Amazon Wayne Dyer on Choosing Love or Fear

Gemma Hartley is the author of" Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward," and I'm thrilled to have her on the podcast to talk about emotional labor. Defined as "the invisible work women do to keep people around them happy," emotional labor is a topic that doesn't get talked about a lot, and often takes a toll on women and relationships. I'm excited that Gemma has opened the door for this discussion by addressing the topic, and offering thoughts on ways to move forward.

Resources Gemma Hartley's Website Gemma Hartley's original article "Women aren't Nags, we're just Fed Up" on Harpers Bazaar

Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley on Amazon

This week on the show, I'm taking a look at how I grew my business while working a 9 to 5 job. I'll walk you through the inspiration, intention, and actions I took, and share reflections on how you can use these same tips to start or grow your own business.

See all of the show notes on the website, here:

http://jumpstartyourjoy.com/2019/01/how-to-start-a-business-when-you-have-a-9-to-5-job

Resources Do a Ten in Three. The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown