Jump Start Your Joy®

A lot of people are talking about FOMO, especially as the US is opening back up after the pandemic. As everything and everyone starts to come out of quarantine and shelter in place, and we are feeling safer about being in public, it seems that a lot of people are feeling he push to rush back into life, and, rush back to returning to life at the same pace we'd all been keeping in the end of 2019 (if not faster). And, many people are layering this return to "normal" with an urgency to catch up for "lost" time, or, trying to cram in more during this time because we fear what's to come after losing so much over the past 16 months. Because 2020 was a total sh*tshow, it's reasonable to be cautious and concerned, but I think it's amping up our anxiety.

In this episode I'm sharing about how it's OK to slow down, and it's also totally OK to Opt Out during this transition time. Maybe you realized that you like a slower pace of life while you were in quarantine. Maybe you discovered you needed more quiet time for yourself. And now that invitations are going out about social gatherings, and people getting together you might feel like you "should" go (and not really want to).

I want to give you full permission to do a couple of things:

1. Take stock in what you really want to do. If you're craving alone time, don't feel like you need to go to an event, or go do anything. Opting out is an option.

2. Notice where you feel like things are "too much." We've all just been through a lot, and our brains and nervous systems have been on high alert for over a year. We've been living in a time where even basic tasks were not as safe as usual, and it will take time to re-acclimate. If it feels like you've done enough today as far as socializing or going out in public goes, let it be enough. Opting out of doing more, or doing anything, is an option.

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Resources

Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most by Greg McKeown

There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing by Adam Grant in the NY Times

Make Some Noise by Andrea Owen

Get it Done: The Email Course by Alexandra Franzen

In this episode, I'm talking about the term "languishing," which is something that Adam Grant recently wrote about in the New York Times. His article was titled "There's a Name For The Blah That You're Feeling, and It's Called Languishing." When I read it, it struck me that languishing really is one of the predominant emotions that you find in the messy middle. It's languishing. Isn't full on depression. It's not boredom or anger. It's not any of those. It's just that vague feeling, that things aren't great. Adam Grant describes it this way, "Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you're muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield, and it might be the dominant emotion of 2021." And, in reading this I felt similar to the way I did when I read about people naming the feeling of grief that was a predominant emotion at the beginning of the pandemic. It has also given me something to call the annoyance and mild overwhelm I've felt recently, and that I even did a podcast episode about. This low-level funk made me feel that I needed to try and do something, anything, to find my way out and into something else. And so I signed up with Tami Hackbarth's "Deferred Maintenance" program and I tackled just one thing.

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Resources:

Adam Grant's Article in the New York Times: "There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing"

Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

In this interview, I am so honored to be joined by author Sonya Renee Taylor. Sonya is the author of the the New York Times Bestselling book, "The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love." She just recently released an updated version of that book, and the "Your Body is Not an Apology Workbook: Tools for Living Radical Self Love." Sonya is joining me to talk all about radical self-love and joy. And, she shares that when we start to love ourselves, we can transform how we interact with others in the world.

One of my favorite parts of our discussion sits at the heart of something that has bothered me about joy recently; the question of "how can I embrace joy if that joy possibly comes at the expense of someone else's freedom, joy, or access to things?" In other words, where does my own privilege enable me to experience joy when others may not have that same access to it.

In talking about altruistic joy, Sonya and I talked about how this relates to her frame work of "interest buying" or "detriment buying" – in other words, there are things that we do or things that we consume that are in the better interest of all people (altruistic) and there are things that we consume or do that are at the detriment of others.

And here's where it got really juicy. Sonya shared that she feels that true, altruistic joy is the kind of joy that has no residue. And, this is perhaps one of the most amazing reflections I've heard about joy in the 7 years I've been talking to guests about it. Here's what she had to say about it:

"What it brings up for me is: joy doesn't have a residue. There's no residue on joy. It's beautiful. If there's a residue, that's information for you. That's information to say, "this might not actually be best interest. This might actually be detriment by it. There is something on it that is not about simply living into the most joyful, highest vibration of myself in the world. There is something that says, 'I'm trying to clean up something. I'm trying to fix something. I'm trying to extract something externally because it's coming from a place of lack or scarcity.'"

That's what the residue piece is. And so I think if we can start noticing and getting present with the question of is there a residue after I do a thing? And then, how can I let that be an indicator of whether or not I'm actually in a joy practice. Am I in an interest / buying practice? Or am I in a detriment practice?"

Sonya Renee Taylor and I talked about: – her early joys of creating radio shows with her friend – slam poetry festivals, and how entering them fed her soul – how "The Body is Not an Apology" got started – how the Genesis story in the Judeo-Christian tradition relates to shame and body image – how to tell if your joy is coming from an altruistic place, or if it may have residue on it – embracing radical self love – why radical self love is not easy work – the indoctrination of all of us in a society where the hierarchy has a vested interest in keeping us from embracing self love – giving from your overflow, and how that can help you steer clear of burnout – that choosing to spread radical self love feeds itself, and creates room for more radical self-love

Resources

Sonya Renee Taylor's Website The Body is Not an Apology Website Support The Body is Not an Apology by making a contribution Sonya Renee Taylor on Unlocking Us with Brene Brown

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In this episode, I'm delighted to have Fred Waitzkin return for his second interview, this time to talk about his brand new book "Strange Love." Fred is the author of "Searching for Bobby Fischer," which is based on his experiences with his son Josh who was a chess prodigy at age 7. In this new interview, we talk about his latest book (Strange Love), his time during COVID in New York and Costa Rica, and what drew him to write a story based in Costa Rica, and his writing process.

What I love about this conversation is the way that Fred talks about his creative process. I find that creating a podcast weekly also takes a good deal of creativity, for my clients and for myself. It's always interesting to me to learn how other creative people tap into creative flow. Fred uses real life to inspire the events of his book, and he talks about three key things as far as how he goes about writing.

In this conversation, Fred Waitzkin and I talk about: – his new book, Strange Love, and how he crafted the characters – his inspiration for writing, often taken from day to day life and people he knows – Costa Rica and New York City during the COVID pandemic – his creative process in writing – how the pandemic has changed us as people – the resurgence of interest in his book, Searching for Bobby Fischer, after the release of The Queen's Gambit

Resources Fred Waitzkin's website Strange Love by Fred Waitzkin Searching for Bobby Fischer by Fred Waitzkin Fred's first interview on Jump Start Your Joy

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In this episode, I am sharing about a couple of parallel "paths" I've noticed in the past few months: those of Labyrinths, making mindful choices about what to do next, and setting boundaries to support those choices and new directions.

Your Unique Path In December 2020 I took a week long course and became a trained labyrinth facilitator. The labyrinth has been around for centuries and is a helpful mindfulness tool, and a lovely walking meditation. It struck me that much like there are parallels between the center of a labyrinth and the messy middle of this pandemic.

Mindful choices on What's Next This time in the messy middle has offered us a lot of time to think. I hear from other people that they are reflecting about what really matters, what things merit their time, what they really want to do when they can go back out in the world and do things with other people.

Boundaries These two things (Labyrinths and honoring one's path) benefit from boundaries. A labyrinth without a clearly marked path is confusing, or, just a field. A life without boundaries is a free-for-all. So I want to mark things more mindfully, and make clear choices based on what I want and who I know I am. There is simplicity and beauty in knowing those things, and I want to honor them too.

For you: What can you learn from your time in the Messy Middle of the pandemic? Where has your path led you? Is it different than where you thought you'd go? What kinds of boundaries could help define your path?

Resources Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Walking a Sacred Path by Lauren Artress

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In this episode, I'm honored to be interviewing Lauren Artress. She is an author, Canon of Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, founder of Veriditas, and a spiritual pioneer and a leading force in popularizing the Labyrinth in the US and around the world. I have been fascinated with Labyrinths for years, and this last December became a trained Labyrinth facilitator. I'm excited to have Lauren joining me to talk about her experience with the Labyrinth, The Labyrinth Movement, and how it offers parallels and insights into our lives.

In this episode, Lauren and I talk about: - the labyrinth and what it is - her journey in finding the labyrinth in Cathedral de Chartres, France - the role of the labyrinth at Grace Cathedral, San Francisco - both now, and during the AIDS epidemic - the Holy Fool and how it relates to the Labyrinth - Hand labyrinths: how they work and how they came about - The parallels and metaphors of our lives and the walk of the labyrinth

Resources Lauren Artress' Website Veriditas Website World Labyrinth Locator

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In this episode, Erica and are diving in to the important topics of racism in the US, and what it means to be an imperfect ally. I had the pleasure of meeting her at ShePodcasts Live, and I was deeply inspired by her presentation there on imperfect allyship and anti-racism. Erica is an an entrepreneur and certified coach, and her work is focused on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), imperfect allyship, and imposter syndrome. I deeply appreciate her insights on how white people, like myself, can be better allies for people of color. I know from experience that it can be vulnerable to make changes and that there's an underlying fear that we may do something (with good intentions) that is more harmful than helpful. And, that if it's not right, it could backfire. And so many of us freeze and do nothing. The truth is, action is what is needed. We can't continue to do nothing because of our own discomfort. And, the only way to make any change is to start trying it out, in small steps, and in little ways. And that's what the heart of imperfect allyship is all about. If you've been feeling deeply unsettled by what you've felt over the many acts of racial injustice that have been happening, and you know you want to do something (but you don't know what or how) - this is the episode for you.

Get all the show notes and a full transcript at the website.

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Intuition can give you powerful information about what you want and what brings you joy, but too often we ignore it. What can you learn from intuition, and what can you discover from getting curious about what annoys you?

Get all the show notes and a full transcript at the website.

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Purchase my book, Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle

It's so exciting to have Heather Chauvin back for a second time on the podcast!

She has just released her brand new book, "Dying to be a Good Mother" and I was delighted that she reached out to connect again. Our interview is all about her journey with what she learned about self care after being diagnosed with cancer, and how 2020 has changed so much for so many of us. As a former social worker, and mom of three boys Heather was juggling family, health and happiness, and in doing so putting her own well being last on her priority list. And then, she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer just one year after the birth of her youngest son. That's when she took a hard look own self care, and how to place a priority on her own health, happiness and wellbeing. In battling through chemo, illness, and recovery she realized it was time to start living, not just for her family but for herself.

Get all the show notes and a full transcript at the website.

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Purchase my book, Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle

During the pandemic, it's been hard to find our joy. In this episode, I share how to change your perspective when the horizon shifts, and how to find joy in the messy middle. Also learn about how to craft an "easy week" to bring more joy to your life.

Get all the show notes and a full transcript at the website.

Sign up for Newsletter on my website.

Purchase my book, Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle