Art Bell provides his characteristically sardonic commentary on the Air Force's dramatic "Roswell: Case Closed" press conference, delivered by the unfortunate Lieutenant Colonel John Haynes at the Pentagon. Bell describes the event as unintentional comedy, noting the colonel's obvious discomfort while presenting the military's final official explanation for the 1947 Roswell incident. The Air Force's new book definitively attributes the debris and bodies to anthropomorphic test dummies dropped during parachute experiments, though these experiments didn't begin until the 1950s. Bell dissects the logical problems with this timeline and the military's increasingly elaborate explanations for what witnesses reported. The program explores how the government's handling of Roswell has evolved over decades, from initial denials to weather balloon claims to this latest dummy explanation. Bell speculates about how Colonel Haynes was selected for this unenviable assignment and examines the press conference's unintentionally humorous moments. The discussion touches on the broader pattern of military responses to UFO incidents and public pressure for disclosure. Bell's analysis highlights the absurdity of official explanations that seem to generate more questions than answers. This episode captures the ongoing tension between government secrecy and public curiosity about unexplained phenomena.