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Tim Allen, the only actor with both an honorary doctorate from Hillsdale and a conviction for cocaine trafficking, followed up the massive successes of Santa Clause and Toy Story with a half-assed, needlessly complicated remake of a French comedy about a teenager in a loincloth fighting the Russian mob. The split between Nadia Wholesome Mindset and Tony Fucked Mindset has never been greater. Our theme song is "USA" by Jeff Rosenstock; Jeff's music is distributed under a Creative Commons license and available at quoteunquoterecords.com . This week's outro music is Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind" as covered by Meggi Lectric.