First, I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW STUFFED I SOUND... Allergies man. Thank you for your patience lol.

Anyways, what has your journey with prayer been like? Here is mine. I hope this encourages to ask and trust in God's goodness.

Read along below!

It’s beginning to feel a lot like

Christmas

Recently, I’ve been intentionally

Asking

My prayers have been filled

With specific requests

Never have I been this audacious

In the space of prayer before

And in all honesty

It felt wrong when I first began

Shame would be quick to meet me

Each time I closed my eyes

On bended knee

Shame whispered of my unworthiness

Questioning the foundation of my faith

Making a mockery of the relationship

I’ve fought to build with the Father

Shame tried to sow seeds of doubt

Manipulating the truth of contentment

In an attempt to mute me

Hindering me from interceding

Distorting the source of my longings

And belittling my yearnings

“You are asking for too much.”

As a child, I remember

Walking by this boutique

And seeing a pair of shoes

In the window

They were blue, wedged sandals

I asked my mom for them

Quite frequently actually

Each day making a point to remind her

That I haven’t forgotten

And I still desired them

She never purchased them for me

Although I don’t know why

And I’m sure the reasons are valid

All I know is that

It wasn’t because

She didn’t want to

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?”

I’ve opened the dusty file cabinets of my life

And looked through the areas of my

Greatest disappointments

And in those areas

I’ve dreamt up restoration

Imagining what it would be like

If the neglected and overgrown fields

Were renovated into

Prospering gardens

And here is where

I started making my case

I pinpointed every area

Pain has robbed me

Ravaging my vats empty

And opening the book of promises

I read each line

Noticing that each story

Is a tale of restoration

Not just between Creator and creation

But even between creation and creation

So why then would I limit

The extent of my request

Nonexistent is what He cannot do

And limitless are His capabilities

“Without faith it is impossible to please Him”

Diminished expectations at times

Are a result of withholding requests

And I’ve been finding that asking

Builds expectation

And it increases faith and intimacy

So I’ve unlocked the safe

Where I tucked away my petitions

Desires don’t just disappear when ignored

Rather they get stored

Left in your heart to rot

And there bitterness festers

Yet, by asking

They become surrendered

Given to the one who can make use of them

There they are

Out in the open

Testimonies are on their way

And regardless of the outcome

The glory is His anyway

It’s been feeling a lot like Christmas

In my heart lately

I’ve been waking up each day

With anticipation

How will He respond?

When will He respond?

Through whom will He respond?

And as I wait on Him

Strength replenishes

And as I hope in Him

Shame diminishes

Take this as your invitation

To ask

He’s listening