Interview recorded on January 19, 2018

This episode is a never-before published interview that was recorded on January 19, 2018 just before I took a break from podcasting. Stephanie has been gracious in waiting for her story to be aired.

As with ALL episodes, there is an explicit label. That is because the topics may include discussions that may be triggering for some people. This episode does have some difficult topics so please be aware and take care of yourself.

Stephanie is choosing to stay anonymous since she has not come out of the closet with her atheism and almost all of her friends and family are still religious.

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Stephanie’s Bio

Stephanie was raised in Brazil as the child of Assemblies of God missionaries. She lived the typical itinerant missionary kid lifestyle. In the foreign country 3-4 years, in the US for 1 year. She attended many schools growing up, from Brazilian schools to private Christian schools using the Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) system. Her parents held to strict Bible inerrancy and literalism. In the end though, they were children of the 60s. In one breath they would teach unquestioning faith in god while in the other advocating anyone was allowed to question anything and get the right answer.

At the age of 16 she moved to NW Florida where she graduated from high school and attended community college and completed nursing school. She lived in the area for about 10 years.

In her mid-twenties Stephanie moved to Texas to pursue a relationship with her future husband who she had met through mutual friends. She married into a ready-made family with two kids aged 11 & 7. This June they will celebrate 20 years of marriage. Her step-daughter has given them 2 beautiful grandchildren who are the joy of their lives!

Scholastically, Stephanie did well but was subjected to the vagaries of the ACE education which was focused on route memorization and regurgitation. ACE is fundamentalist in its Christian beliefs advocating for young earth creationism among other fallacies. The system left her poorly prepared for college but she was able to avoid too much math or creative writing during that stage. 20 years later, she chose to pursue a bachelor’s degree in nursing which involved studying philosophy, ethics, statistics, critical scientific thinking. This was the final stake in the heart of her theistic beliefs, which had been weakening over the years.

After completing the bachelor degree, Stephanie was still fascinated by research and found that it would be possible for her to pursue a career as a Nurse Scientist by getting a PhD. That pursuit started in 2014. It has been a long and difficult path but as of January 2018, she is ABD, All But Dissertation. She is hoping to complete her research by Spring or Summer 2019 and defend her dissertation. Her goals are to use research and evidence to improve the lives of patients, especially neonates, which is her field of specialization.

After completing the bachelor degree, Stephanie was still fascinated by research and found that it would be possible for her to pursue a career as a Nurse Scientist by getting a PhD. That pursuit started in 2014. It has been a long and difficult path but as of January 2018, she is ABD, All But Dissertation. She is hoping to complete her research by Spring or Summer 2019 and defend her dissertation. Her goals are to use research and evidence to improve the lives of patients, especially neonates, which is her field of specialization.

Interview recorded on July 24, 2017

Originally published on August 17, 2017

As with ALL episodes, there is an explicit label. That is because the topics may include discussions that may be triggering for some people. This episode does have some difficult topics so please be aware and take care of yourself.

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This is the first in a series of interviews I did over a year ago, when I was the host of the women beyond belief podcast.

Then I left the Atheist and skeptical community and rebranded the podcast under the title of Just Us Women podcast. In March of this year, I had planned on republishing most of the interviews I had from the women beyond belief podcast but then my life took a different turn. I ended up taking a sabbatical from podcasting. I separated from my husband and now, 4 months later am ready to start to re-publish some of the interviews from last year.

I was hesitant about republishing these but felt compelled lately. Janet started her own podcast called Women Beyond Faith Podcast and since listening to her interview, I felt more confidence as I have seen the continued need for women to hear other women’s stories of deconversion and life after faith.

These interviews, from a year ago, have been located on another website where they were archived but I felt they needed to be republished so that the stories can be heard by more women.

Janet Aiken (Pseudonym) is a middle aged former-evangelical homeschool mom who studied Biology and Secondary Ed at universities in New York & Washington, D.C. Once upon a time she dreamed of rescuing all of the ill and downtrodden children of the world by becoming a Paediatrician. Those dreams died when she failed to get into Medical School.

Janet rose above the discouragement & disappointment & determined that she could still save the world, one child at a time, by becoming a die-hard fundamentalist Christian. This led her on a 20+ year journey into the domain of falsehood, deception & tyranny.

Of late, thanks to the critical thinking skills of her then teenage son, Janet has rejected the truth claims of religion. Today she strives to make every effort to rediscover the harsh beauties of life.

Discussion by podcast host, Wendy Nicholson (formerly Marsman)

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com-pli-ant *

adjective —

* inclined to agree with others or obey rules, especially to an excessive degree.

* synonyms:  biddable, complaisant, accommodating, cooperative.

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As with ALL episodes, there is an explicit label.

That is because the topics may include discussions that can be triggering for people. This episode does have some difficult topics so please be aware and take care of yourself.

There are 2 audio clips from the podcast called No Filter with Mia Freedman.

This episode was called Germaine Greer won’t be defined by her rape

Another quote by Germaine Greer, “You only have the power of consent when you can escape from the situation”.

The title of this episode is compliant women. My Grandmother was non-compliant but my mother was. However, I was mainly influenced on a daily basis by my mother so, I learned  compliance and actually was taught how to distain non-compliance I saw in my grandmother. Being a compliant person for nearly 40 years, I know what it is like to walk in the shoes of women who are afraid to stop being compliant.

Returning Guest – Tracey – author of the blog, Godless Mama.

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cou-ra-geous *

adjective —

* not deterred by danger or pain; brave.

* synonyms:  valiant, b

* old, daring, undaunted, venturesome, gallant, indomitable.

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As with ALL episodes, there is an explicit label. That is because the topics may include discussions that can be triggering for people. This episode does have some difficult topics so, just be warned.

I recently listened to a podcast by Rebecca Scritchfield, called Body Kindness. In an archived episode back in 2016, she talked about a book called The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal. They talked about how fear can lead to courage. And for some people, after going through trauma, they can actually experience post-traumatic growth…after the trauma, life has more meaning.

For most of this episode, Tracey tells her story about growing up with many challenges including a complicated family-of-origin history. She talks about education choices and career changes. She talks about being married to her 1st husband and the traumatic experience that was including experiencing violence and abuse.

Tracey also shared about her daughter dealing with PTSD and about how the school system and so many adults do a poor job in standing up for children who have been bullied or abused. This was very triggering for me so at about the 49:10 min. mark, I had a 10 min breakdown which I mostly edited out. It really hit a nerve and I was surprised at my own emotions. This was because there have been multiple times that I have experienced and witnessed that so many adults do not really listen to (or protect) children who have been abused or bullied. And so, to hear yet another instance of this, the emotions just overflowed. We picked up the discussion talking about reasons why women end up staying in difficult marriages and the societal pressures put on women.

We had to cut the discussion short at the end but will hopefully be able to pick up the topic in a future episode.

Discussion by Podcast host, Wendy Nicholson (formerly Marsman)

dis-il-lu-sioned *

adjective –

* being disappointed in someone or something that one discovers to be less good than one had believed

* synonyms:   disenchanted, let down, discouraged

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–The analogy of married life being like a canoe ride on a fast flowing river.

–The analogy of women rocking the boat and learning to swim.

This interview was recorded on July 2nd, 2018

A conversation with Tracey, blogger at  Godless Mama

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re-sil-ient *

adjective —

* a person able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions

* synonyms: strong, tough, hardy, irrepressible

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This interview was recorded on July 2nd, 2018

In this episode, I recorded a conversation I had with Tracey. I first met Tracey when she was a co-host of a podcast that interviewed me last summer.

Since then, we have become online friends and we have both been through a similar experience with the atheist movement over the past year. During our Skype call, we talk about leaving the atheist movement and skeptical community.

There are no atheist churches on every corner. There are very few physical locations to go to interact with people who are part of the atheist and skeptical communities. The majority of the community is online, so the quantity of social media increases as you get more involved and vice versa. And so, Tracey and I discuss what it’s like to take a break from social media.

Tracey has a blog called Godless Mama which she has had for over 8 years which was about the time she first became a part of the skeptical and atheist movement.

I was going to interview her when I still had the Women Beyond Belief podcast but that was postponed after I ended up cancelling the podcast under that name. Then, Tracey started her own podcast this past spring where she interviewed me in her Episode 3. So we have finally been able to coordinate our schedules and record our skype call.

I really respect Tracey and it’s so good to have a friend to be blunt and honest with. Tracey is a good example of a Resilient Woman.

Discussion by host, Wendy Nicholson (formerly Marsman)

tired *

adjective —

* in need of sleep or rest; weary.

* synonyms: exhausted, worn out, whipped, drained, fed up with, jaded

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Podcast Host, Wendy Nicholson (formerly Wendy Marsman) talks about her decision to end her 2nd marriage.

Reboot of the “Just Us Women Podcast” – Discussion by host, Wendy Nicholson (formerly Marsman)

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hope-ful *

adjective —

* feeling or inspiring optimism about a future event

* synonyms: optimistic, confident, buoyant

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Resource links:

Hannah Gadsby interview about “Nanette”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwcIon2flLU

The Guilty Feminist Podcast

Episode #83 – Hope with Hannah Gadsby

https://guiltyfeminist.libsyn.com/83-hope-with-hannah-gadsby-0