optimize your scheduled routines with kids for more joy and satisfaction each day

Step 1: List out your typical routine with your kids (See my example below)

Step 2: Evaluate your routine using these questions:

• Did we get everything?

• Is there anything that’s not serving us, that we want to remove?

• Do we have rituals of connection?

• Is there space for flexibility?

• Does this look fun?

Mark up your page with any notes you want to make that can bring your reflections into the next phase in episode 5, which will help you develop an action plan for anything you might want to tweak.

Sample schedule of a weekday with my three year old—this illustrated pocket chart makes it easy for both child and adult to know, follow, evaluate, and adapt our daily routine

It can be tempting for us as adults to ignore kids’ feelings, especially since so many of us grew up learning to ignore our own. SO much of the advice given to parents and teachers through the years focuses on fixing the behavior. After all, that’s the part that irritates and frustrates us most.

Listen in to learn why recognizing feelings is ESSENTIAL for helping us nurture healthy kids and how to coach kids through big emotions in ways that maintain healthy boundaries.

Below are a couple of great articles I wanted to share with you:

• Got Anger? Try Naming It To Tame It from NPR

• An Introduction to Emotion Coaching from the Gottman Institute

   

Okay, so it’s not really magic.

It’s actually just that when you get these two things functioning optimally, 99% of the daily friction goes away and you can enjoy being with your kids more.

And the great news is that with both of these things:

1. You as the adult get the privilege of having the primary influence, especially at first.

2. It’s never to late to start fresh.

3. They involve skills that ANYONE can learn who is willing to try. (I used to think that being “good with kids” required the right kind of personality—now I recognize that all the skills involved in helping kids—and yourself—thrive can be learned.)

4. They naturally provide loads of easy ways to increase your kids’ agency in over time.

Listen in to hear what these two things are, one of my experiences of flubbing up big time with both, and get some concrete ideas on areas you can shift to make life more enjoyable for you and your kids.

If you haven’t already listened to episode 1, check out the show notes here or download this helpful graphic that you’ll build on after this episode.

Share below: Which of these strategies comes more naturally to you? Which categories did you star as an area you want to tackle next? What are your next steps?

Listen to hear why it’s more effective to include kids in the decision-making process, regardless of their natural personality type.

Guiding kids through making decisions that are mutually beneficial doesn’t mean giving up your ability to set boundaries that feel safe and comfortable for you, too, as the adult. When you advocate for your own needs, you can model respectful, assertive communication skills. Download the attached Venn Diagram to organize your thoughts about which decisions belong to the adult(s) in your setting, which belong to your kid(s), and which can be shared.

Below is our family’s example of what this looks like with our three year-old, Blue. Over time, the balance of decision-making authority will shift as Blue becomes more independent. Our main focus for this episode is on the teal text inside the “Shared Decisions” category.

JUST FOR FUN: For further thinking about your own tendency in responding to expectations (or that of a child in your life), check out Gretchen Rubin’s quiz. Share your results in the comments below! Mine are already posted.

Wondering if this podcast is right for you? Strategies With Kids is for parents, teachers, and other professionals who want to cultivate empowering, joyful environments with the kids in their lives. Listen in to learn more about what to expect in the first six-episode mini-series as well as the podcast in general.