justinparke 3Speak Podcast

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/jkjvchyw
Even though we've frequented the Phkar Chhouk Tep Hotel for years, we will never be staying there again because of some serious incompetence.

     This hotel has always been our go-to place for years when visiting Phnom Penh, mostly because the place has security guards, it's conveniently located, and although the rooms are not that clean, they're affordable and not disgusting. I carefully parked tuk-tuk with the rear-end facing in to keep our washing machine and motorbike out of the rain because we couldn't fully close all the rain flaps.

     When I walked downstairs to begin preparing the tuk-tuk for our 360km trip back home, I discovered that my tuk-tuk was missing. After wandering around thinking it might've been stolen under the noses of 4 security guards, one guy pointed for me to walk across the street towards a parking garage where I found my tuk-tuk parked in the open, something that could've been a problem had there been a rainstorm during the night.

     I was very upset that the security guards moved my tuk-tuk without permission or reason, especially because of the massive amount of parking spaces available. I was going to forget about it until I noticed my mirrors were bent and one of the welds cracked on my driver's side mirror mount. Obviously the guards had moved my 1/2 ton tuk-tuk by using pushing on the weakest possible part. This would now be the second time the driver's side mirror needed to be rewelded, so my morning was quickly getting a bit red.

     When I looked inside I noticed the washing machine was tipped over and laying on its glass door, and to avoid rage I tried to convince myself a dog had gotten into the tuk-tuk and done this, and my mirrors were bent because a drunk guy must've clipped them while walking past at night. After 5 minutes I realized I wasn't going to be able to trick myself and that my plans to depart at 5am had been dashed. I now had a serious problem on my hands, and perhaps several hundred dollars worth of damage.

     I began taking photos and documenting everything for potential legal reasons, and I called over the security guards to ask how many of them had taken part in this bonehead move. None of them took responsibility, refused to contact any of the previous shift's employees, and and also began whispering among themselves and laughing about my situation. This pissed me off beyond belief, so I went back to the hotel to report the incident.

     I should mention I was already running low on sleep after being in a crash the previous night, where a moto food delivery attempted to pass us between on the righthand side in the 8-inch space of road between the sidewalk and our tuk-tuk. He clipped my passenger mirror, got off balance, and hit a raised stormdrain outcropping, motorbike did some dramatic spins, driver went down, etc. I looked at Pov knowing that stopping would involve the driver demanding money from me, but I wanted to make sure he was injury-free.

     As soon as I arrived on the scene after pulling over and the guy saw I was a "whitey," he wanted $200 for his $30 smartphone that he smashed in the crash. He had already flagged down another couple on a motorbike who also claimed I hit him. He also walked to the store on the corner and began telling the shop owner about the foreigner that just crashed him. I immediately regretted stopping, the guy was clearly going to use cheap tricks to try and get his way. I let the whole thing play out until I lost my patience and cussed him out.

     I let him know even though I am a stupid foreigner, I know the rules of the road like the back of my hand because we stupid foreigners have to take actual driving tests. I reminded him that he came from behind, passed without signaling, passed on the wrong side, and veered back in too early without signaling. I let him know that if we're gonna play this game for hours, and I demanded $30 for the paint damage done to my tuk-tuk, and let him know I'm ready to get the police involved.

     The police would almost certainly take his side, but I made it clear I was going to my grave without giving him a cent, even if lawyers need to get involved, etc. Of course I was bluffing, at least about the lawyer/court crap, but that whole mess was a solid hour of arguing and shouting at multiple being extremely racist and just generally sh*tty humans.

     Anyhow, back to his hot mess at the hotel that happened only 8 hours later. I just gave you some background to make you understand how exponentially enraged I was at this whole new morning problem. We knew it would take a full day of driving to get home if we left at 5am, and these security guards ruined our plans entirely. The hotel houses hundreds of guests, so I backed up my tuk-tuk the main doors, partially blocking the entrance as if to challenge the security guards, and I began unloading all of my tuk-tuk's contents into the lobby of the hotel, of course while loudly shouting about the details of the incident for all guests to hear.

     I was escalating the situation because the management and employees refused to take responsibility nor provide me the appropriate necks to choke. They began to get disturbed and tell me they had a policy about bringing motorbikes into the lobby. I put the kickstand down and let them know I have a policy about people breaking my sh*t without my consent. I then ripped my washing machine out and cartwheeled it over the nearest power socket to see if it was broken or not. After some tense moments I eventually determined the machine was still functional, albeit full of dents. We then spent an hour reloading the tuk-tuk while blocking the main doors of the hotel with our parking location.

     After getting the tuk-tuk reloaded with zero help from the hotel staff or security guards who were mysteriously all missing while I was causing a scene in the lobby, I let them all know my years of patronage were over, and I will never recommend anyone stay there ever again. After an hour on the road my "check oil" light came on and I had to unload all of the tuk-tuk's contents one more time to access the hatch and oil filler. In the process of reloading the tuk-tuk after our unplanned picnic stop, I hurt my back, drenched my third change of clothes, then put on a shirt I was previously using to blow my nose with, then drove 12 hours back to Steung Kach while in major pain.

     I did get to enjoy this strange James Bond mobile, apparently with 007 written backwards so the driver can read it while reversing into a giant mirror. At least the universe still has a sense of humor....

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/veudjebr
I recently shot a video tour of our place here in Steung Kach, Cambodia, to share with friends and family back home in the USA. Even though I haven't uploaded it to Facebook yet, that is my intention because it seems everyone I know in the USA is either uninterested in my blog and/or unwilling to simply make a browser bookmark to easily visit my Hive blog. I only post on Facebook once or twice every few months just to let my fellow 'Mericans know I'm still alive, but I honestly have no interest in the platform.

Several of you ASEAN Hivers have been asking for a proper tour of the land, and although this (at times) shaky footage is far from a proper tour, I hope it provides a clearer picture of how beautiful and peaceful our surroundings are. The hammock huts by the river are an absolutely great place to spend time, and luckily I didn't tumble down the hill while trying to show them to you all.

The land is now very soft and muddy but at least now we can begin to start some gardening projects to make this place a little greener and more beautiful. Once the mud is around the cabin has been properly landscaped and has some plants growing in it, the place will be much more photogenic for Airbnb, of which hope future bookings will be a lifeline for us.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/pnvdsymk
A deposit has been made, and we are almost the new owners of land adjacent to a natural decentralized mountain swimming pool.

     If you listen to the video, you'll notice we've put a deposit on the land and agreed to a price. Now it's a matter of receiving the fiat we'll need and reassuring my family members that have invested in our dream. Not only can we power down our HIVE accounts and repay them in 13 weeks if everything goes wrong, but I hope to make my famvestors happy with some nice returns in rapid time.

     I've spent the majority of my adult life in trailer parks in the USA and prison-cell sized rental rooms in Cambodia, so even though I grew up on a farm, I've never had a space of my own to stretch my legs. The thought of being able to walk 15 seconds in a straight line without leaving our property would feel to me like having the whole Amazon forest to myself.

     I just can't get over how awesome the creek and natural pool are, and it still feels dreamlike when I ponder having these natural features in our backyard. We already have tons of business ideas brewing, but I think most important will be to maximize free time available for swimming in the creek. Things are on the verge of closing as I finish this post, and we're making another visit tomorrow morning to do the paperwork.

Stay tuned....

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/ogwjegmm
Greetings ASEAN Hivers, I am here with some hopeful news that we might just have a chance at owning our very first house/land.

     The video gives you a short glimpse of the three pieces of land we found for sale on an absolutely incredible mountain creek here in the Cardamom Mountains of Cambodia.

     Land Option Number 1 is where we originally enjoyed the roadside picnic that led to the discovery of this creek. The land is small but also not much higher than the creek, good for views, but also at the tail end of the rapids where the water isn't moving much.

     Land Option Number 2 is the land with the red dirt and giant boulders you can see in the video. It is quite expensive and dealing with the boulders would be a massive project. On top of this, the dirt is fairly new and would take a long time to settle before any kind of construction project would be possible.

     Land Option Number 3 is our personal favorite, and happens to have three "homes" on it, although we're not in love with the mini homes as much as we are the land and its proximity to the natural swimming pool above the rapids that provide such a great nighttime audio track. There are also two hammock huts at the back of the property, and if we can get this land, that's surely where you'll find me most of the time.

     I've secured family investors by using proof of my family's crypto assets as collateral, and this is awesome because we'd have to completely cash out everything we have. With the loan option we'll have a chance to pay it back slowly via our passive income and monthly earnings.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/ztrpomos
Pramaoy doesn't really have a functioning garbage disposal system, so it's either burn it or throw it out your front door like all of our neighbors do.

     Plastic trash moves easily with wind, so our lazy neighbors' garbage is usually scattered by dogs and weather in front of our room each day. I've lived here on and off for over 12 years, and I hate to admit I've given up trying to inform Cambodians about the dangers of dioxin and/or living among garbage.

     University graduates and uneducated working folk both happily toss their trash just about anywhere you go in Cambodia, something that makes Cambodia a not so visually appealing country, and surely a factor in why most tourists spend a month in Thailand and Vietnam, but rarely spend more than 5 days in Cambodia.

     We recycle as much as we can and discard our organic rubbish on vacant land, but we still produce a small shopping bag of trash every now and then, and I feel a obligation to dispose of it as responsibly as possible. This place is too small for a proper garbage truck and landfill service, so for now we take our trash to Elephant Roundabout where there are 4 public trash bins with NGO logos on them.

     After living in Pramaoy for a few months I began to notice that not only are the bins at the roundabout now all full, but they haven't been emptied since we've lived here. Time will tell what will happen, but I assume a gust of wind will eventually blow the bins over and scatter the trash all around the roundabout. We create as little waste as possible, and even refuse plastic bags at the market, something that causes the veg and fruit sellers to think we are absolute whackos, but that's also why Cambodia is a bizarre, interesting, and often times a very fun and funny place to live.

     Take everything you know as normal and then flip it 180 degrees, and that is Cambodia, so watching people zinging trash out their window is just one of the things you just have to learn to watch and accept. Even funnier is when Cambodians drink something while riding their motos, because more often than not, when the cup is empty they just let go of it, often not even bothering to throw it on the side of the road.

     Okay, it's 2:00am and I haven't mentioned anything about this quick tour of Pramaoy. Lucky for me I didn't post this in HaveYouBeenHere, cause a Pramaoy Trash Run doesn't jive well with posts about where to find the best white sand beaches in Bali. Cambodia is a little rough around the edges, and so is Pramaoy, and that is actually one of the reasons I've grown to love Cambodia. I have failed to tell you a bit about Pramaoy so I guess I should just give up now and hope the video is entertaining enough without my babble.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/zyatxmas
Osaom was more amazing than we expected, but we had to return to Pramaoy, so we headed back over the now very slick mountain pass.

     As I mentioned in my Part 1 Post of this family trip, I was very busy managing the handlebars of the tuk-tuk on some super-duper slippery clay roads, so I left Osaom without even one image of the mystical reservoir that we would like to live near.

     Luckily @sreypov had the time to take lots of pics while I was driving, so do be sure to check out her blog for the more scenic parts of this journey. My posts usually contain the shenanigans and the stuff that really shouldn't be content.

     On the mountain pass back to Pramaoy, there are many bulldozed areas ideal for family pit-stops. These spots will eventually become part of a bigger paved road one day, but stuff like that can take years here. Either way, I was so impressed with the landscapes of the random stops, Osaom is truly a gem.

     On this particular stop, Pov saw some selfie opportunities, Monkey-B needed to pee, and I was thirsty. Even on the roadside I heard more strange animal noises than I've ever heard anywhere else in Cambodia, signs of a pristine forest.

     We were headed back on a Sunday, the day after the massive rainstorm, following the ruts of countless 4x4s that had left early in the morning to make their way back to the capital and other big cities in Cambodia. It wasn't ideal, but our daughters study 6 days a week, and that leaves us with the ability to do overnight trips only once a weekend.

     Once down from the clouds and off the mountain, it was time to take another pit-stop, and Monkey-B didn't fare well during the ditch crossing. You can see what she lost in the above photo, and without telling me, made the choice to go one-shoed on her potty walk.

     It was at this point I realized I am the Dad, so mud, oil, and fixing things is supposed to be my responsibility. I found a piece of bamboo nearby and used it to fish Monkey-B's flip-flop out of the mud. After washing the sandal in road water Next, I used a Jai-Alai move to zing the flip-flop over the ditch and as close to her as possible.

     While waiting for them to return, I saw a discarded Chinese road barrier, and I decided to turn that trash into a bridge. Satisfied with my engineering feat, we hit the road and made it back to Pramaoy without any issues.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/njskcdyf
Osaom has always been our final destination for Cambodia, and after being stranded abroad for three years we had plenty of time to plan our return.

     While stranded (thanks to COVID visa problems) in Suriname for three years, we had more than enough time to research areas of interest in Cambodia where we could resettle once it was legally possible to do so as a united family. I shared my research about this place in a previous post, and it's nice to finally manifest this desire so many months later.

     The drive from Pramaoy to Osaom was only 35km, but it took more than 2 hours due to some major construction, no paved roads, and a mountain pass complete with a surprise torrential rainstorm and currents running across the road. Pov later admitted to me that she thought she was going to die, and Srey-Yuu also admitted to being terrified during the storm.

     I grew up racing ATVs and riding motos, and I've also spent many years living among 4,000m mountains while attending a wilderness guiding school, so the journey over the mountain pass to Osaom wasn't too intimidating for me. My family has very little experience with mountain weather and steep road grades, so I totally understand why they were fearful.

     The journey over the pass required my full attention, so I wasn't able to document it while managing the handlebars of a constantly slipping and sliding tuk-tuk. It kept raining all the way to Osaom, so after arriving I decided to explore some backroads away from the reservoir for a potential picnic stop, and that's how we ended up at this random location.

     My wife is a passenger with two free hands and a smartphone on these journeys, so it's really better to follow her blog for the beautiful scenery not part of pitstops. I'm a full-time driver on the road and part-time content creator only when the engine isn't running, so I didn't even get one shot of the reservoir and the even more stunning landscape there than where we dined on larb tofu.

     You'll see in the video if you watch, but I love how the family often ignores the camera after I've been filming for over a minute, and that is when the good content comes out, often hilarious. Monkey-B started talking about her poop hike while I was filming, and even asked me to delete the footage while I was making this post, but it's much too funny to not share.

     Of course our picnic was delicious, but I felt rushed because I had planned to return to Pramaoy in the evening to catch up on work, plus we didn't have enough time to pack for a proper camping trip. It was also the weekend, and the next morning all the Sunday traffic would be headed back over the wet pass, leaving me some very deep ruts to manage with my 10-inch wheels.

     Pov made the decision easy by saying she wouldn't go over the pass at night, so we stayed a night in the only guesthouse with a vacancy in all of Osaom, and I pondered how in the world I was going to manage driving my tuk-tuk on a muddy road destroyed by 4x4s in a hurry to return to Phnom Penh.

     I hope this is a suspenseful enough buildup to keep you tuned in for part 2 of this very unprofessional travel content.....

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/krhetunn
I have been wanting to share my last moments in Suriname with Harry the lamb ever since arriving in Cambodia, and now I finally have the time.

     If you've followed my blog the last several years, you probably know my family's stranded abroad for 3 years story in Suriname. I won't go into details about that saga here, but instead this is a post for you fans (especially @alvonsohiver) of Harry the Lamb, a football-playing dog trapped in a sheep shell.

     After the wife and kids left Suriname for Cambodia, I stayed behind a week in Suriname just in case they had any travel difficulties returning home. During my last week I spent a lot of quality time with Harry, our landlord's lamb that we had been with since his birth.

     Our three years in Suriname saw much more than the birth of one lamb, but Harry was different, smarter, more playful and inquisitive than even most dogs I've spent time with. He won us over, and we even allowed him in our apartment, something no other furry creature is still allowed to do to this day.

     During my last few days I decided to immortalize Harry in the form of a single NFT, which I sold on the NFT Showroom to the very talented author-ARTIST @vincentnijman. I knew that Harry was destined to become someone's meal, so I wanted to arm him with lasers, a flying baguette rocketboard, a Cambodian visa, and also allow him to take his favorite ball, and basically escape the human race and transcend the space-time continuum.

     Wherever in the galaxy Harry is now, I just hope he is using his laser to vanquish any living creature that considers him a potential meal. This kind creature converted me from a dog-lover to a sheep fanatic, and I could only imagine how much fun we'd be having with Harry in Cambodia if he could join us.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=justinparke/priytytn
I am still recovering from jetlag and catching up on ASEAN Hive Community curation and engagement, but I wanted to share this news and special moment with you all.

     I am back with my family again in Cambodia after an unintended 3-year exodus in Ecuador/Suriname caused by COVID-19 international bureaucratic stupidity and related visa issues. If you have read any of my blog posts the last 3 years, you probably have a basic understanding of my family's ordeal being stranded abroad in an unfamiliar land and having to cope with Suriname's economic collapse and a global pandemic on top of that.

     We attempted US immigration and also a return to Cambodia, but both were denied. What was supposed to be a multipurpose one to two month trip abroad to get married, have a honeymoon, and also introduce my American family to my Cambodian family, ended up being the most epic struggle and fight for day-to-day survival and basic human/family rights we all have ever endured.

     The bitterness in my heart towards the politicians and bureaucrats responsible for the hell my family lived through the last three years will take a long time to fade, but for now I am simply rejoicing and can't stop staring at my lovely ladies. The ordeal to get out of the USA (and into Cambodia) was also full of hurdles (and a bribe), and I was actually the last person to board the plane in S. Korea, having been held back because my COVID-19 test didn't have a stamp or signature.

     I had actually spent a total of $700 to rent a car, hotel, and pay for a PCR test at a facility far from the countryside where I was staying in the USA, conveniently located inside the Indianapolis Airport that I'd be departing from a few days later, albeit only with a negative COVID test result. After already having slowly lost everything over the last three years, I was not happy about this added cost.

     The testing facility that conducted my COVID test only offered results only via e-mail, and refused to sign or stamp my test, something I made clear is required for my entry into Cambodia. I asked them to call the lab downtown and arrange a signature (which they did), so I spent my last day in the USA frantically running around downtown Indianapolis searching for a well-hidden and unmarked laboratory in a random skyscraper.

     I was told I could only come to the facility between 2 and 4 o'clock, and after finally finding it, the elevator was locked and they didn't answer their phone either. After sitting for an hour downstairs I saw a janitor and asked him if I was indeed sitting below a COVID testing lab. He told me I was and I asked kindly if he could use his ID card to open the elevator and run upstairs to confirm my appointment with them.

     Of course they didn't know who I was or anything about me needing a signature or stamp on my test. They weren't aware of my supposed appointment, my request was denied, and I flew out the next day knowing I may be prevented boarding my connection flight in S. Korea, and thus deported back to the USA. Well, I was prevented boarding my connecting flight in S. Korea, but eventually allowed on as the last passenger after a hellish situation involving more stupid bureaucrats trying to please the "paper tiger," a situation which nearly caused me to lash out and have a panic attack.

     The main thing is that I am here with my family in Phnom Penh now, and how disgusting our low-budget guesthouse room is absolutely inconsequential. I feel like a King even though I have to occasionally hit a rat with a broomstick just to get in our room. I'm not familiar with Phnom Penh's geography, but the universe has a good sense of humor. We happen to be staying on a sex tourist street, so everywhere we look it's just old fat white guys with questionably young Khmer teenage girls wandering around for cheap beers.

     I'm gonna go ahead and finish this post here, it's 1:00am and I still have to proofread and publish Srey-Yuu's (1 day late) Top 3 for the ASEAN Hive Community before going to bed, and do some curation for which I am still 3 days behind on. Soon I'll have to manage my time and self-imposed responsibilities for ASEAN Hive in a way that allows me to begin posting again daily from my personal profile, something I miss very much, even though I would love to continue to read and comment on every single post published within the friendliest community on Hive.

     So I will leave you with the above picture of a saleswoman holding a brochure for something I just placed a $200 deposit on. Hint.....it's 435cc's of diesel fury and it's not a John Deere tractor. Later this week you'll all get to see our new "home." It will comfortably s̶e̶a̶t̶ ̶6̶ ̶p̶a̶s̶s̶e̶n̶g̶e̶r̶s̶ accommodate 6 guests. Surprise ruined?

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