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BOSTON:

"I tried my best to make the augments that Mr. Musk requested, but what he was asking for was simply not realistic based on the state of his original member -- you try surgically transforming wet hamburger in a baby sock into the Washington Monument," said Dr. Kaminski. "Then he insisted on being awake during the procedure so he could micromanage the implant process, and when I told him that if we attached any more of the 'cyber-enhancements' he brought with him the penile structure would collapse on itself like a pubic blackhole. Then when it fell apart like all of his other ideas, he went on X and called me a pedophile."

Following the botched surgery, Musk reportedly turned to fertility expert Dr. John Marley in his quest to impregnate a small army of female employees.

"At first I was honored that Mr. Musk chose me to support his quest to staff the federal government entirely with his offspring, but I didn't realize how challenging the process would be -- it was kind of like milking an earthworm but with much, much more sobbing," said Dr. Marley. "And then he started bringing in a phrenology chart and calipers and demanded I discard any sperm absent of his 'desired caucasoid features.' I finally told him to find a different fertility doctor after he asked if it was possible to load a blowgun dart with his sperm to impregnate women from afar."

Slate:

One of the few things they can take solace in is fantasizing about Musk's permanently maimed penis. We had a version of this during Trump's first term, when Stormy Daniels described the man's member as a gross-looking mushroom. [...]

The polarization of capital has never been more apparent than in 2025. The oligarchy is at the control panel. We all live in hell. And yet, the richest man in the world still can't buy a bigger penis without risking "fluid-filled pus bubbles." Poetic justice. Maybe everything is going to be OK after all.

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Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

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So I guess we're reaching the point where if you want to remain vaccinated against COVID, you'll have to figure out how to buy an illegal import from this "dark web" I've been hearing so much about.

Or maybe go down to one of our famed "Open Air Drug Markets" and buy it from a.... Blade Runner.

From Violet's roundup:

Yesterday RFK Jr.'s HHS ordered the lab studying deadly infectious diseases, including Ebola, to stop research indefinitely. RFK Jr.'s message to parents of newborns considering vaccination was "Do your own research." Tuberculosis is now rising in Florida; Miami Herald reports TB cases rose above pre-Covid levels in 2023 and climbed 8% higher in 2024.

FDA head and antivaxer Dr. Marty Makary, who blocked Novavax approval and forced the company into an unnecessary extra trial, told CBS News the FDA may not approve the next Covid boosters. Makary falsely stated there is not enough data showing Covid vaccines work, also inaccurately claiming there is "broad population immunity." A PR flack from RFK Jr's HHS told press, "The Covid-19 pandemic is over, and HHS will no longer waste billions of taxpayer dollars responding to a non-existent pandemic that Americans moved on from years ago."

RFK Jr. rejects cornerstone of health science: Germ theory:

While it's certainly possible that worm remnants could impair brain function, it remains unknown if the worm is to blame for Kennedy's cognitive oddities. For one thing, he was also diagnosed with mercury poisoning, which can cause brain damage, too. As prominent infectious disease expert Anthony Fauci said last June in a conversation with political analyst David Axelrod: "I don't know what's going on in [Kennedy's] head, but it's not good."

The trouble is that now that Kennedy is the country's top health official, his warped ideas are contributing to the rise of a dystopian reality. Federal health agencies are spiraling into chaos, and critical public health services for Americans have been brutally slashed, dismantled, or knee-capped -- from infectious disease responses, the lead poisoning team, and Meals on Wheels to maternal health programs and anti-smoking initiatives, just to name a few. The health of the nation is at stake; the struggle to understand what goes on in Kennedy's head is vital.

While we may never have definitive answers on his cognitive situation, one thing is plain: Kennedy's thoughts and actions make a lot more sense when you realize he doesn't believe in a foundational scientific principle: germ theory.

John Oliver did a whole show about Bobby Brainworms and it's terrifying.

A classic from last year, in case you missed it: RFK Jr. Was My Drug Dealer.

He poured out a line for me to sample, and handed me an inch-and-a-half length of plastic drinking straw. I snorted. We chatted for a minute. I paid him, I believe, $40 in cash. It was a lot of money, the equivalent of $300 today. But cocaine bought from a Kennedy accompanied by a Kennedy brother -- the moment of glamour seemed worth it.

Back in my dorm room 10 minutes later, I got a phone call. "You took my straw!"

Sean Casten:

Putting a former heroin addict with a brain worm who eats road kill and drinks raw milk in charge of scientific research will prove to be a massively deadly mistake.

"RFK Jr. will order placebo testing for new vaccines, alarming health experts."
"RFK Jr. to end 'Godsend' Narcan program that helped reduce overdose deaths despite his past heroin addiction".

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"Industrial-Grade Juicing for Every Need"

The video of him building this thing was kind of interminable, and he lost me when he started ranting about fluoride conspiracies, but this is some commitment to a bit...

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XScreenSaver 6.10 is out now, including iOS and Android.

This is the first Android release not to be found in in the Google "Play" [sic] Store, due to the recent unpleasantness. So you'll have to install the APK by hand, which is no hardship of any kind.

Four new hacks this time, just one by me: Dumpster Fire, Hopf Fibration, Platonic Folding and Klondike.

Dumpster Fire is, obviously, why I was asking for fire sim code last week, for which The Lazyweb was singularly unhelpful. But I worked it out.

The thing that I spent the most time on in this release was... writing a new vt100 emulator from scratch. I had a thing that I wanted to do while making the intermission video for our screening of TRON at DNA Lounge a few months ago, and the existing emulator wasn't up to the task. So I started over. There may not be much utility to be found in a vt100 emulator built into the Apple ][ and Phosophor screen savers, but should the need arise, this one is rock solid. It even passes Thomas Dickey's "vttest" stress tester (to the extent that Apple ][ and Phosphor are capable of implementing those features). It's in hacks/ansi-tty.c should you have use for such a thing.

It has been 10 months since the last XScreenSaver release, which looks to have been the longest I've gone between releases... ever. What can I say, I haven't been feeling to inspired to write new ones lately, and I just don't get many submissions from outsiders these days. I suppose most people scratching their generative art / demoscene itch these days don't write C, they use Processing or Shadertoy, and the barrier to entry in XScreenSaver is significantly higher than that.

Perhaps my life would be easiser if I would stop clinging to the idea that XScreenSaver must support systems that are OpenGL but not necessarily GLES. But every time I ponder what that might break I just get angry all over again and go do something else.

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Dear Lazyweb,

Seeking source for simple but believable OpenGL 3D fire and smoke simulation that does not use GLES / GLSL shaders, OpenGL 1.3 only.

• "Why would you do that to yourself?" Reasons.
• "No, but here's one using Shader Language." You are not helping.
• "I know you said 3D, but here's a flat one." Again, not helping.
• "Here's someone's thesis that doesn't have runnable code." No.

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Narc dot AI:

American police departments near the United States-Mexico border are paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for an unproven and secretive technology that uses AI-generated online personas designed to interact with and collect intelligence on "college protesters," "radicalized" political activists, and suspected drug and human traffickers [...]

Massive Blue, the New York-based company that is selling police departments this technology, calls its product Overwatch, which it markets as an "AI-powered force multiplier for public safety" that "deploys lifelike virtual agents, which infiltrate and engage criminal networks across various channels." [...]

404 Media obtained a presentation showing some of these AI characters. These include a "radicalized AI" "protest persona," which poses as a 36-year-old divorced woman who is lonely, has no children, is interested in baking, activism, and "body positivity." Another AI persona in the presentation is described as a "'Honeypot' AI Persona." Her backstory says she's a 25-year-old from Dearborn, Michigan whose parents emigrated from Yemen, and who speaks the Sanaani dialect of Arabic. The presentation also says she uses various social media apps, that she's on Telegram and Signal, and that she has US and international SMS capabilities. Other personas are a 14 year-old boy "child trafficking AI persona," an "AI pimp persona," "college protestor" [sic], "external recruiter for protests," "escorts," and "juveniles.

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He was a kid, and now his body is coated in wax and dressed in a red track jacket, jeans, and Nikes and lies in a church in a tiny Italian hill town where people arrive on tour buses to kiss their fingers and touch the glass next to his head of thick black hair.

Before him, the most recently-canonized saints lived and died in the 1800s. Acutis is different: He had a phone! He made websites about miracles! He wore sneakers! He's "God's influencer." Supplicants see him as somehow both approachably normal and extraordinarily devout. He was reportedly "uninterested in the trappings common for a wealthy child in Milan," asking his parents to donate the money they would have spent on more designer sneakers to the poor and skipping ski trips to teach catechism instead. [...]

Coincidentally, technology is bedeviling Acutis' early days as a saint. On eBay, people are selling what they claim to be his "relics," tiny pieces of a saint's body. One anonymous seller was selling "supposedly authenticated locks of Acutis' hair that were fetching upward of 2,000 euros ($2,200 US), according to the Diocese of Assisi, before being taken down," the AP reported. "It's not just despicable, but it's also a sin," one reverend who has a tiny fragment of Acutis' hair in a chapel by his office told the AP. "Every kind of commerce over faith is a sin."

There is a lot of non-relic commerce happening at the Shrine of the Renunciation, however. It's free to enter the church, but there is a gift shop around the corner at the exit.

How about them miracles? Wikipedia:

Luciana Vianna had taken her son, Mattheus, who was born with a pancreatic defect that made eating difficult, to a prayer service. Beforehand, she had prayed a novena asking for the teenager Acutis's intercession. During the service, Mattheus had asked that he should not "throw up as much". Immediately following the service, he told his mother that he felt healed and asked for solid food when he came home. After a detailed investigation, Pope Francis confirmed the miracle's authenticity, leading to Acutis's beatification. [...]

A Costa Rican woman named Valeria had fallen off her bike and suffered a brain haemorrhage with doctors giving her a low chance of survival. Valeria's mother, Lilliana, prayed for the intercession of Acutis and visited his tomb. The same day, Valeria began to breathe independently again and was able to walk the next day with all evidence of the haemorrhage having disappeared. [...] Pope Francis presided at an Ordinary Consistory of Cardinals, which approved the canonization of 15 people, including Blessed Carlo Acutis.

Well there you have it! That's just SCIENCE.

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