Trigger warning: This episode contains open discussion of a suicide attempt, alcohol dependence, self-harm, and sexual assault. Please take care of yourself, if you choose to listen.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You are not alone.

Jyoti Chand grew up the youngest child and only girl in a Punjabi immigrant family in West Covina, California, in the middle of a 95% Mexican neighborhood, in a gang-infiltrated area, in a household where her dad ironed her clothes, did the laundry, cooked the food, and showed up to every parent-teacher conference while her mom worked nights. She was spoiled with love. She was the class clown with a binder of printed jokes. She was the smart one, the good girl, the straight-A kid who also snuck out to Bong Fest, talked back to everyone, and graduated high school at 16.

She was also someone who had no idea that alcohol was quietly shaping her entire story.

In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Jyoti Chand, known to hundreds of thousands as Mama Jotes, a mom, a content creator, founder of Jyotes by Jyoti Chand, author of the graphic novel Fitting Indian, and one of the most genuinely funny and disarmingly honest voices on the internet. What starts as a warm, hilarious conversation about growing up first-generation in LA becomes something much more honest. A story about dual identity, undiagnosed ADHD, inherited anxiety and depression, a suicide attempt at 18 that her university tried to quietly erase, abusive relationships she didn't think she deserved better than, and the slow realization that the substance she thought was just fun was actually the main character in a story she desperately wanted to rewrite.

And then she stopped drinking. And everything changed.

00:00 Cold Open and Retakes

About Our Guest:

Her graphic novel Fitting Indian follows a 16-year-old first-generation American girl navigating mental health struggles, dual identity, and the pressure to belong everywhere and nowhere at once. She lives in the Midwest with her husband, a child psychiatrist who is not allowed to "psychiatrize" her, and their three kids.

Connect with Jyoti:
https://www.instagram.com/mamajotes/
https://www.amazon.com/Fitting-Indian-Jyoti-Chand/

Connect with Sense of Self:

Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:

Edited by: Briana Mittan

A note on ethics, process, and safety: 

• The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
• Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self