Sense of Self

What does it take to stop living the life you were handed and start building the one you actually want? In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Erin Gums, certified coach, breath work guide, and founder of Tap Into Your Wellspring, for one of the most honest, courageous conversations this show has ever hosted.

Erin grew up in Oakland, California, the child of a Black father with deep Bay Area roots and a Chamorro mother from the Northern Mariana Islands. She was sensitive, perceptive, and wired for connection in a world that didn't always know what to do with that. What followed was a years-long journey through family fracture, identity searching, compulsive achievement, and the slow, hard work of learning to trust herself.

This episode explores what it means to carry silence, to perform comfort around people who hurt you, and to finally choose your own safety, even when it costs you everything familiar. Erin's story is not easy, but it is deeply human. And for anyone who has ever felt caught between the family they came from and the person they're becoming, it will feel like being seen.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual abuse and family trauma. If you or someone you love is struggling, please call or text 988.

About Erin:

https://www.tapintoyourwellspring.com/
https://www.instagram.com/tapintoyourwellspring

00:00: Welcome and Guest Intro

A note on ethics, process, and safety: 

• The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
• Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self

Trigger warning: This episode contains open discussion of a suicide attempt, alcohol dependence, self-harm, and sexual assault. Please take care of yourself, if you choose to listen.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You are not alone.

Jyoti Chand grew up the youngest child and only girl in a Punjabi immigrant family in West Covina, California, in the middle of a 95% Mexican neighborhood, in a gang-infiltrated area, in a household where her dad ironed her clothes, did the laundry, cooked the food, and showed up to every parent-teacher conference while her mom worked nights. She was spoiled with love. She was the class clown with a binder of printed jokes. She was the smart one, the good girl, the straight-A kid who also snuck out to Bong Fest, talked back to everyone, and graduated high school at 16.

She was also someone who had no idea that alcohol was quietly shaping her entire story.

In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Jyoti Chand, known to hundreds of thousands as Mama Jotes, a mom, a content creator, founder of Jyotes by Jyoti Chand, author of the graphic novel Fitting Indian, and one of the most genuinely funny and disarmingly honest voices on the internet. What starts as a warm, hilarious conversation about growing up first-generation in LA becomes something much more honest. A story about dual identity, undiagnosed ADHD, inherited anxiety and depression, a suicide attempt at 18 that her university tried to quietly erase, abusive relationships she didn't think she deserved better than, and the slow realization that the substance she thought was just fun was actually the main character in a story she desperately wanted to rewrite.

And then she stopped drinking. And everything changed.

00:00 Cold Open and Retakes

About Our Guest:

Her graphic novel Fitting Indian follows a 16-year-old first-generation American girl navigating mental health struggles, dual identity, and the pressure to belong everywhere and nowhere at once. She lives in the Midwest with her husband, a child psychiatrist who is not allowed to "psychiatrize" her, and their three kids.

Connect with Jyoti:
https://www.instagram.com/mamajotes/
https://www.amazon.com/Fitting-Indian-Jyoti-Chand/

Connect with Sense of Self:

Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:

Edited by: Briana Mittan

A note on ethics, process, and safety: 

• The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
• Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self

Pooja Bavishi grew up knowing exactly who she was at home. Gujarati Jain, deeply proud of her heritage, fluent in the language of her culture and her family. But the moment her family moved from an inclusive tight-knit community in Pennsylvania to Charlotte, North Carolina, something shifted. The world around her didn't accept her fully, and for years she couldn't fully explain why.

In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Pooja Bavishi, founder of Malai, a Brooklyn-based ice cream company that has become one of the most beloved and culturally significant food brands in the country. What starts as a conversation about ice cream quickly becomes something much deeper. A story about belonging, about the cost of feeling othered, about the defense mechanisms we build to protect ourselves, and about what happens when you stop waiting for a community that feels like home and decide to build one yourself.

One flavor at a time.

Connect with Pooja Bavishi:
https://www.instagram.com/pooja_bavishi_/
https://www.malai.co/
https://www.instagram.com/malai_icecream/

Connect with Sense of Self:

Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:

00:10 Meet Pooja of Malai

A note on ethics, process, and safety: 

• The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
• Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self

KJ is the nickname she chose, the armor she built, the stage she never stopped standing on. But behind the confidence and the cultural commentary and the perfectly matched lipstick is Kristen: the middle child who felt like the ugly duckling, the founder who nearly didn't make it out, the mother whose daughter became her reason to keep going.

In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Kristen Jones Miller, better known as KJ, co-founder of Mented Cosmetics, host of the Queen Things podcast, content creator, professor, and soon-to-be author, for the conversation behind the brand.

What unfolds is a story about identity built layer by layer: from a girl in Columbus who learned to be funny because she had to, to an HBS grad who walked into entrepreneurship knowing the odds and doing it anyway, to a founder who spent a year watching her company deteriorate in real time while quietly, privately, almost silently falling apart. And about what it looks like to sell the thing you built from your own wounds, and somehow find your way back to loving it again.

This one is equal parts hilarious, devastating, and deeply alive.

Meet KJ!

Connect with KJ:

Connect with Sense of Self:

Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:

00:00 Chasing What Lights You Up

This episode includes discussion of postpartum depression and suicidal ideation, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you find yourself experiencing difficult emotions, please consider pausing the episode, returning at another time, and reaching out to a trusted person or a professional.

Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self.

This episode was edited by Brie Mittan

A note on ethics, process, and safety: 

• The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
• Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self

Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa walked into plastic surgery residency as one of the most confident women she knew. The eldest daughter of Indian immigrant feminists, a person who had never once questioned her own capability. And then the system got to work.

In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa, double board-certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon, microsurgeon, founder and CEO of the Institute for Advanced Breast Reconstruction, founder of Avara Skincare, and one of the most compelling voices in medicine today with over 600,000 Instagram followers, for the conversation behind the highlight reel.

What unfolds is a story about what happens when the identity you've spent a lifetime building gets systematically dismantled by the very institution you sacrificed everything to join. A story about clinical depression that had nothing to do with postpartum and everything to do with a toxic culture designed to break people. And about what it looks like to walk away from the prestige, the title, the academic institution, and build something entirely your own.

This one will stay with you.

Meet Dr. Srinivasa!

Connect with Dhivya:

Connect with Sense of Self:

Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:

00:00 Identity Shattered Teaser

A note on ethics, process, and safety: 

• The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
• Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self

"I was completely externally focused. Who likes me? Who is accepting me? Who's giving me attention? I did theater. I was on stages. I was very externally focused." - Janis Vogel

Growing up mixed-race on Martha's Vineyard, filmmaker and coach Janis Vogel became a master of reinvention - transforming herself from skater to "homie" to clueless wannabe, all in pursuit of acceptance. But it wasn't until becoming a mother that she realized the cost of living as a canvas instead of a soul.

This raw conversation explores the exhausting work of shapeshifting for love and the profound liberation that comes from choosing authenticity.

🎯 What You'll Learn:

• The hidden cost of people-pleasing and perfectionism
• How childhood abandonment shapes adult relationships
• Why being a "good mother" requires being yourself first
• The difference between seeming okay and actually being okay
• How to break cycles without breaking your family

⚠️ Perfect for: People-pleasers, parents questioning their choices, anyone tired of performing

🎬 About Our Guest: Janis Vogel is a filmmaker, divorce coach, and mother who helps people navigate relationship transitions with authenticity and grace.

Connect with Janis!
instagram.com/janisvogel

A note on ethics, process, and safety: 

• The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
• Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self