Kagro in the Morning - December 4, 2023

A relative of David Waldman makes it out to 104! Congratulations! That is quite an achievement, Donald Trump won’t be 104 until the year 2050. Old people remember so much. For instance, I can recall “2015”, back when I was a greenhorn summary writer, making only, oh… adjusting for inflation… well, anyhow back then I couldn’t understand how Donald Trump made it onto every KITM, before he had even won a single primary. Now I get it. Donald Trump is just so fun to talk about. Trump is always losing, every day, and Trump is always winning, every day. Trump is never “former”, he’s always with us, with 100% reliability. That reliability is why Donald Trump and the media are NOT in a F’ing “unlikely alliance” Their symbiosis is complete; they exist because of each other… and we crave it too, right? Every day. The problem is, everything Donald Trump touches turns to shit, and he hopes to reach all of us this next time. Back in 2017, David Frum told us that “Trump is a chaos agent. He threatens norms, doesn't care." No, wait, that was Greg Dworkin who said that! Now, David Frum, Jeffery Goldberg, and the New York Times are out there telling us what we had long known. Nikki Haley hasn’t got a chance, but let’s say that she does. It’s worth it, if only to see Ron DeSantis suffer. Nikki could be rising because Republicans are starting to see the danger of Trump, but nah, they like to see Ron lose too. Everyone is happy to see George Santos have more time to get his Christmas/Hanukkah-ish shopping done, but friends and acquaintances should be checking their wallets. If the absolutely completely improbable event of Donald Trump leaving our headlines ever occurs during our lifetime, don’t worry, there will always be some sex scandal involving moral authoritarians turning up. Don’t miss tomorrow’s exciting episode: “It’s Not Gay if It’s a Three Way” or “You’ll Never Bi until You Tri”!