David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have all sorts of new things to tell you and each other! In Florida, Oliver G. Gilbert III wins the Democratic primary. He will now go against Te Brown, who completely denies her resemblance to any wanted posters you might have seen. Dem Annie Andrews leads Gop Darline Graham in polls. It'd be embarrassing if she didn't. The only worse candidate to lose to would be Ken Paxton, so awful and lazy that he would need Texas to ban voting in order to win. Why just cripple voting in Texas? Destroying mail-in voting destroys voting, period. Walmart Moms have been determined to not like high prices, AI, and corruption in government, unlike, well, no one. Democrats are enthusiastic to vote. Ed Markey, older than Trump and/or dirt, is still regarded warmly. Dems are in such a strong position that one could be in a predominate position performing in the weakest, dumbest way imaginable and still not budge the midterms. Mike Johnson can support Max Miller because it's hard to make Gops look worse. Anyhow, it isn't like Max is abusing your family. Republicans blame the backlash on data centers on AI. Be the envy of your neighborhood, put a data center in your backyard! Gops rush to install data centers before the bubble bursts or they lose their job, whichever comes first. Tractors, trucks, trains, ships, and the economy run on diesel. Both parties make the easy decision to move any hard decisions about the budget until after the election. It turns out that focusing on deporting allowed more drugs to be smuggled in. Also, secret employment of social media influencers is an unlawful covert action. Who knew? Alejandro Betancourt made billions after he listed "Conspirator 2" on his LinkedIn page. Canada does not play by either mob, or pro-wrestling rules, confusing Donald, who's suddenly quite interested in bowling alleys, and having taxpayers pay for them.

David Waldman had so much that he wanted to tell you yesterday! Then, he remembered he had a show today that would be just perfect to fit those things into. Former Army Secretary Dan Driscoll believed in the rules, military protocol and America. So much so that he went directly to the President of the Unted States to describe the clear and present danger… Oh well. Sad, actually. a tragedy. Dan wasn't cut out for Pete Hicseth's troll army's crusade against cultures… and every nation in this hemisphere that Russia and China don't have dibs on. The real tragedy is that Dems will now need to tit for tat this down to the gates of Hell. Should "Purcell" apply to the federal government? Why, exactly, should SCOTUS care what you think? Donald K. Trump is set to do anything he can get away with, whether it helps him or not. Any unlocked door, he will go in. The U.S. Postal Service will be destroyed, because, it is right there, also because it will screw the election.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return to help make Mondays less so. Google labels Lake Ontario as "Lake America", so that fewer sheep get lost. Donald K. Trump has some schemes plotted in case the midterms go too blue. We've warned you about all of them, but David's particularly Cassandra-esque prophesy of the "rogue clerk" might indeed come to fruition. Sure, it's complicated, but David likes them that way. Trump, however, is but a simple dotard, who might be planning to do simply nothing, or in the case of the USPS, keeping anyone from doing anything. SCOTUS might apply the "Purcell principle", if for some reason they forget which administration it is. Skip Trump, impeach his money. Is Natalie Harp the Monica Lewinsky Ken Starr Republicans have been waiting for? Are they hoping to make Jon Ossoff… Bill Clinton? Ossoff's opponent believes he is Barack Obama. Red states used to be the safe place to stow awful Republicans. Now the other Gop Mike (Collins) has a fascist twink on his hands. The other other Gop Mike (Rogers) is losing all of the Trump Muslims. It's hard to frighten people with Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed these days when Zohran Kwame Mamdani has look-alike contests in his honor. Jewish voters became Democratic by following their moral compass. Trump knows El-Sayed's lead is fake polling by illegal pollsters, reported by illegal reporters. Military leaders think Pete Hegseth might be leading them to Armageddon, as if he'd have a problem with that. Oh no! First Andrew and Tristan Tate, now Milo Yiannopoulos? Well, they do say assholes go in threes.

David Waldman, star of the Kagro in the Morning show for 15 years running, presents the Kagro in the Morning show. If wanted to attend the Congressional Space Medal of Honor presentation today, you missed it, probably because you weren't invited to that, or anything else Donald K. Trump is doddering to this weekend. That's ok, Donald pretty much ruins any event he attends anyway. Trump claimed a lake in his war with Canada. He can throw it on a pile with all the things he claimed in his Iran war. Canada plans to make this war hurt. Tariffs for one are tariffs for all. Trump has already found someone to blame if Republicans lose the midterms… so have Democrats. In prep for the midterms, the DOJ is hiring election integrity experts, just not experts in improving election integrity... or experts for that matter. The US plans to revoke 200,000 visas. They should plan for 200,000 lawsuits. White House construction almost caused Marine One to crash. That's why we need a ballroom. Hey JD! There might be some fraud down in Florida! 10 million dollars were laundered, cleaned of all culprits, yet all the bucks stopped at Ron DeSantis' desk.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin attempt a follow-up to my birthday show. RIP Tim Curry, an actor of incredible range… He even did the rock! If one allows improperly credentialed astrologers to post crap astrology, it diminishes the trust we all have in predictive artists, although some will assert that we now need more rather than fewer. For instance, Donald K. Trump loves the polls that love him, even as those polls are becoming harder to find. MAGAs don't want their Gops taking their cushion. A Gop going against Jon Ossoff in Georgia had a staffer who enjoyed swastikas, wearing KKK robes and calling himself a "twink fascist". There does seem to be a lot of that going around. The world's biggest AI data center is being built in Ohio, packing the power and resource waste of several big cities into the footprint of a single large town. Georgia Gop Gov. Brian Kemp loves his data centers and will not let them go. Bill Gates is beginning to feel bad about introducing everyone to their new AI overlords… I told you that if Dems didn't make an issue of Flock cameras, Republicans would, but did you listen? Multiple states will fight Trump's mail-in ballots restrictions. Texas has already suspended more than 1 million voters. Trump figures it's about time for his tickertape parade on his Iran war triumph, after he kills a some more dead guys. If Donald wins a few more wars, they will let him rename everything. If only Canada and others wouldn't make things so difficult! Can you guess what Canadians plan to do with Trump's tariffs and proclamations? The Navy sailor who jumped off the USS Lincoln is now facing disciplinary charges, while a woman raped is told it's a worker's comp issue. Some Secret Service officials must have done something horrific to be placed on leave. IndyCar officials now outrank government employees.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin join the world in celebrating my birthday. When buying me gifts, remember to type the word "KAGRO", because… it's worth a try. A much, much larger part of that world mourns the loss of Dolly Parton. And for good reason, Dolly had a lot going for her. Mourners go across the political spectrum, but it's pretty certain that she didn't. Donald ordered flags at half-staff, as every woman in his orbit for the last 40 years has paid to look like Parton, and as Dolly would tell you, it costs a lot of money to look that cheap. And now Tim Curry too! Many voters feel that there's a "uni-party" and that their vote does not matter. Supporters of Hakeem Jeffries say, "You ignorant morons don't understand the realities of politics and can vote Republican if you just want to be dummies." Maybe we are under the reign of Great Britain after all. James Talarico is ahead of Ken Paxton, according to polls. According to money, too. Jar Head Salsa tycoon/Jan 6 traitor/patriot Tom Smith finds himself nominated for his Michigan House district. Polling shows Dan Sullivan leading Dan Sullivan in Alaska. The Donald K. Trump midterm political convention will be about Trump, as is Lake Ontario, as is the John F. Kennedy Center. Natalie Harp is all about Trump. Pete Hegseth is eliminating every General not qualified to be a Fox weekend host.

David Waldman's not getting any younger, you know. In fact, he's about a day older than he was yesterday around this time, and a year older than the previous time we wished him a happy birthday. Happy birthday! Donald K. Trump wants to watch others lose more than he wants to win and has discovered that allies are much easier to ambush than enemies. Canada is perfect… because Canada is perfect. Perfect ally, everybody likes them, Trump has to ruin that. He needs them to be as miserable as he is, no matter how miserable we get. The weird thing is, Canada doesn't want to play that. They're supposed to take it on the chin, but they're skating in with their elbows up again. That's it… Donald is forced to go nuclear and change the name of one their bodies of water. Anger Trump further and he might come for their Club next. Trump purports to need his ballroom as the lid to his bunker, but looky here, there's an existing bunker only feet away! Maybe no one wanted to tell him about that one … Maybe they were saving that news for a forthcoming book. Goebbels, Campos, and Scavino might know much about art, but they know degenerate quite well, and hope to make a few bucks selling it, although attaching the Trump name to art hasn't been the biggest sell. John Ratcliffe, director of the Central Intelligence Agency, has popped up in Russia. You never know where an opportunity for collaboration can be established. Congress is finally getting mad about money, but holding onto their jobs might allow them to become more understanding.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring harmony to the chaos. WAR! Donald K. Trump has done all he can to provoke the most un-provokable neighbor a country has ever had. Now he has a new war to lose that America will continue to lose after he's gone. The US Navy continues to lose its war against Trump. The USS Lincoln sailors finally return home to their families, as long as their families haven't yet been abducted by ICE. Navy families evacuated from Bahrain remain stranded. Any of them returning home to Gary, Indiana will be greeted with familiar conditions. Loudoun County, home of KITM World Headquarters, have surrendered to their data center overlords long ago and might be becoming habituated, but in places like Ohio, the centers are now entering with AI and Flock(ish) cameras and an increasingly abusive and silly police state, which are all pretty much supported by Gops, though less so with MAGA, and hence are a midterms problem for Republicans. Democrats are in great shape… as long as they offer complex solutions to complex issues, never overpromise and above all, remain electable. Once the American public becomes fully educated to understand the nomenclature and internal structure behind government processes, Democrats should be a lock. Meanwhile, Dan Sullivan endorses Dan Sullivan to beat Dan Sullivan, who's no Danny Sullivan. Danny didn't win yesterday's finale of America's glorious semi sesquicentennial celebration but probably would have had if he started on the pole.

David Waldman packs our heads and sends us off for the weekend. Donald K. Trump's imperial push has found a bit of a sticky wicket in Iran, yet his war with the US Navy is going splendidly, with their surrendering the naming of an aircraft carrier to him. What were the chances of Pete Hegseth ever allowing some unknown DEI hire with a CRT name like Doris Miller making some boat woke anyhow? Trump's war on Washington DC is scheduled to make the rubble bounce this weekend with his Grand Prix. Sure, some delicate old stuff might get broken during the celebration, but that's because it wasn't made in America. The event will be followed by the first annual Running of the Bulls through the Smithsonian. Those smarties in Silicon Valley invented AI to destroy our way of life along with the economy but really, any dope with a rifle could do that in 5 minutes. There's fake polling, and there's fake vote.gov, but you really need to beware real government websites, because they're really out to get you. The Department of Homeland Security discovered 16,000 non-citizen voters in Nevada, or maybe 185 "potential" ones. Counting isn't their strong suit, and usually just gets in the way. Trump needs quick money for his projects because if they are slow, someone usually makes him give it back. Trump only stumps in states that clap for him.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin inch open the Thursday news levee. Natalie Harp! How does she do it? How DARE we discuss Natalie banging that stud Donald K. Trump? Hey now! Natalie loves Donald like she would love any top executive, you know… in a "biblical sense"… which of course includes hiding in trunks, sleeping on the floor, and maintaining one's pants and any items therein. Heaven forfend any notion of "wifely duties"! Those, Melania can keep. Pete Hegseth's "Natalie Harp" is his wife, who knows better than to give Pete any leash. Wait a second. Is all this just a distraction from the important issues? Yep, but we have time for those also. Deportations and the economy are losers for Trump, as well as the candidates he is endorsing. Shock! Polls show that Republicans are behind in America's reddest states. Democrats reign victorious in hypothetical matchups, probably across multiple universes. No one wants to read a horoscope written by a false astrologer, and similarly, no one would want fake polling, unless they found a profit in it. The White House has its own fake vote.gov. You don't need polls to know people hate data centers, and the data they center from AI and Flock cameras, because all your friends will tell you all about it. Gops were a little slow on the uptake however because all their friends are investors, yet have recently begun to catch on, from Ohio, down to Texas. America's strategic oil reserve is so low that it might collapse our economy, but if it gets any lower it could collapse the salt domes used to store it.