Hey, it's Labor Day, and you know what that means! Well, it might mean that Trump is dead, but probably not. It does, however, mean that you're getting less Greg Dworkin today. Also, less me!

But because we're bringing you our September 3, 2024 episode to keep you company for the holiday, and because September 3, 2024 was a Tuesday, you'll get to hear good ol' Joan McCarter's voice again!

If you're wondering why I started the summary so oddly, well, you'll get it once you see how the summary for the original show went. You see, it started like this...

Hey, it’s the day after Labor Day, and you know what that means! For one, it means that it’s Tuesday, which means that not only is David Waldman back live, but so is Joan McCarter! Also, it’s the day that millions across the nation awake in the morning, crawl out of their burrows, see their shadows, and realize the need to figure out who they will vote for. Kamala Harris and Tim Walz have already risen to the challenge, while Donald Trump and JD Vance extended their weekend.

By the way, Snopes states that no one has yet verified that the specimen jars carried by Trump supporters contained “fake” JD Vance semen… I guess they need local couch cushions for a match? That awkwardly segues us into Trump’s promise to make government socialistically provide IVF treatments for gay couples and single cat ladies. Good for him! Although Donald might not have considered how his stance might affect IUI families, and the sensibilities of his Vice President, or even his previous Vice President. Meanwhile, the Harris-Walz team heads to Florida with a clearer stance.

September also is the beginning of Congress’s legislative sprint, although there really wasn’t anything keeping them from starting earlier. House Gops now have only a few weeks left to impeach Joe Biden. 

If you had time set aside to head to Bedminster to attend the gala in honor of January 6th rioters, or have your photo taken giving a thumbs up standing on Donald Trump’s freshly dug grave, you will be disappointed as both events have been again postponed.

Public school teachers, already overworked and underpaid, are now expected to perform surprise sex change operations on their students.

David Waldman pines for the Virginia fjords around this time of year and can only deny his wanderlust two more hours before this three-day weekend. 

Generalissimo Donald K. Trump will keep hosting military parades until everyone salutes. The Navy version should have better floats of course and will feature dancing Sea Cadets, escorting the beautiful new giant Ashli Babbitt balloon, along with musical guest Gloria Gaynor riding on the Robert E. Lee memorial float, brought to you by that “King of Beers”, Pete Hegseth.

ICEISIS are icing themselves out. You can now spot them by looking for the “47” tattoo next to their “88”.

You knew that with the Trump administration it’d be only a matter of time before there would be a Federal Boob Inspector. Speaking of Tatas, Anthony Tata, retired brigadier general, practicing racist Islamophobe, and acting Pentagon lacky, has been connected in a few ways to the internet’s most notorious astrologer, Amy Tripp.

If New Jersey got rid of Alina Habba when they should have, they wouldn’t be in the trouble that they are in today.

Trump cancels Kamala Harris’ Secret Service detail as he’d hate to see anyone live longer than him.

Greenland is all bothered just because the US is looking into toppling their government. Trump says, Relax guy! You should see what we have planned for Alaska!

Gop Mark Alford goes to town halls to lie, thinking that his constituents understood that. Lies are bad for science, etc. so scientists etc. are moving to Blue Sky.

Ready or not, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here with the latest news for Thursday.

Yep, another cloud of another mass shooting. More angels lost. More terror and tears. More calls for gun control. The anti-trans trans anti-Trump pro-Russian pro-second amendment mass murderer is simply a despicable person in a despicable world.

Therefore, no flag burning, or something like that. No flags burnt, but Susan Collins was greeted with patriotism just yesterday.

U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Director Susan Monarez has been fired, followed by the resignation of CDC Chief Dr. Demetre Daskalakis and several other top CDC officials who recognize the existential threat of RFK Jr. and Donald Trump. Dr. Greg Dworkin shares the medical term he prefers for those who threaten the health of people for their own political and personal gain.

The Supreme Court allows Donald K. Trump to act upon any of his deeply held whims, so he’s been having a lot of those lately. Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook is officially challenging their interpretation.

ICEISIS agents rescued a forest fire from undocumented immigrants in Washington state.

Trump introduces DEI for US tech companies. Even if it’s a good idea, Trump will find a way to ruin it.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin regroup here at the top of the week and help work out our next move.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce got engaged on my birthday, thus making that date easier for everyone to remember.

Pseudo-president Trump is crypto-president from now on.

In happy news for crackers, the cracker barrel returns to Cracker Barrel. Could a one-week feint towards a clipart logo be a publicity stunt to replace their dying customer base with MAGA hardcore? If so, expect Red Lobster’s rebrand as “Red State”.

Cops: DC is really cleaning up the town as the interdepartmental queue forms behind each potential jaywalking bust. Anyhow, it’s all the arresting that counts, not the crime. Maybe a nice train station to play with will keep them busy.

OK, Doomer. ICEISIS may feel like it’s around every corner (because that’s the intent) but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up. Democrats lead the U.S. House generic by 8 points, and in real-life very-red Iowa, Catelin Drey won by 11, in a district Trump carried by 11. It happened there, and it should be happening everywhere.

The US might be involved with attempting to destabilize a sovereign democracy! Shocking, right? Greenland might be asking for it, but that doesn’t mean it’s giving Donald consent to grab it by the windfarms.

European postal services are holding your mail. You’ll need to stop by and pick it up.

Delulu DOGE dropped skibidi Social Security numbers… AnD fanum tax bro!

Kilmar Abrego Garcia has a decision to make. Either Trump’s penis is tiny, and Kilmar goes to Uganda, or it is not tiny, and he goes to Costa Rica. All of the federal judges in Maryland avoid rendering a verdict on Trump’s tiny penis… for now.

Happy birthday to me!  And to David Waldman, yesterday. Remember, it’s never too late to send belated birthday greetings or cash!

Donald K. Trump, in a move so indefensible that the New York Times can barely defend it, is “firing” Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook, which of course Trump “shouldn’t”, in fact, "can't" do, for something that he himself has done time and time again…

Lisa Cook will fight back, although a public statement on her part regarding Donald’s not-tiny penis would clear her today. Satire has become standard diplomatic art of the deal nowadays. Kilmar Ábrego García unfortunately has found himself the measure of Trump’s manhood… and just as likely to disappear.

Speaking of shrinkage, If Alina Habba’s appointment is held illegal, a lot more could be. Fulton County Georgia commissioners are standing against tyranny and aren’t yet in Uganda, and every federal judge in Maryland now can sleep easier tonight.

David Waldman is older than he used to be! By an entire year somehow! Congratulations! Also… Armando!  Greg Dworkin is completely different of course, and so is his Raft O’ Stories™, although they could all be a distraction from the real story.

The Zohran Mamdanimentum keeps growing, because it’s fun and Zohran is having fun and New Yorkers are a fun-loving bunch. Similarly, Gavin Newsomentum is building, even though there are Dems out there whose anxiety builds when they see too much fun going on and would like to remind you here in August 2025 that you don’t “have to” vote for Gavin in November 2028 if you don’t want to. Expect Trump to drop the word “CUCK” into his posts soon in order to get ahead of Newsom comparisons.

Or Trump could just have Gavin arrested. Time for some legal problems for Chris Christie. Time for some legal problems for every federal judge in Maryland. Gorsuch and Kavanaugh note that none of these people are either of them.

Kilmar Abrego Garcia could inspire this administration to reinstitute crucifixion. Let’s pour one out for two Fulton County Dems, Dana Barrett and Mo Ivory, protectors of democracy and presently unincarcerated.

Trump will obviously send troops into Chicago. Not because he needs to, but because he wants to. Cheating is so fun that it might not matter if it actually works.

Soon we will all have something to cry about. US consumers with prime credit are starting to fall behind in their payments. Millions are being pushed off of Medicaid and Obamacare, no matter what they are being told now. And COVID isn’t going away, but the vaccine is.

Years of effort have finally paid off. Nancy Mace has finally worn out her welcome.

David Waldman delivers us to Friday, where long reads and in-depth analysis are intended to be the order of the day… But first we need to address this whole Cracker Barrel thing.

You’d think that a Cracker Barrel logo change would only upset some crackers, but it turns out to be a big money-losing deal. Or perhaps it was losing big money that led to the logo change. Maybe it was their peg game. Maybe it was the racism. Maybe it was the sexual harassment, the salmonella, and the racism. Cracker Barrel will need a really good logo to get out of this one, or a high White House loyalty rating. Otherwise, it will end up on the ash heap of history with the Smithsonian.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whacha gonna do? Donald K. Trump guest stars on Cops: DC while across town the FBI raids John Bolton’s home and office. Fannie Mae’s Pulte/Palantir crime detection unit is powered by AI, DOGE and spite.

A federal judge found that Alina Habba is unlawfully serving as US attorney for New Jersey before Alina was even halfway to the “Mar-a-Lago” in her Botox treatments. Ironically, all lawyers now become busier.

A New York appeals court gives Trump a lift in his goal of appealing his way to the grave.  Donald TACOs out of his vengeance upon flag burners and voters but will stick with Tina Peters until the bitter end as long as it’s profitable.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us the latest in news and opinion. By the way… Jeffrey Epstein!

At least James Dobson is dead.

Gavin C. Newsom (Gorgeous) has been hand selected (Some say RIGGED) by God to return AMERICA’s democracy and Democracy to the “USA”.

Of course, in 2028, Gavin’s policy stands and personal aptitude for the presidency will be of utmost… Hello? You do remember 2015, right?  As do the people behind the Gavin Newsom Press Office, Camile Zapata and Izzy Gardon. That’s the long game. The short game sees the majority of Democrats backing California’s counter-gerrymandering of Texas as a good thing. California’s Supreme Court is stepping out of the way.

So, what is Donald K. Trump really up to in Washington? Nothing, as usual, and no good, as usual. Who to better represent Trump than the three most hated stooges in American history, Stephen Miller, Pete Hegseth and JD Vance? DC’s criminals better watch out, the new gang means business.

Elise Stefanik knows that she’s hated by most of her constituents, Democrat and Republican, but she will never rest until she earns the antipathy of each person in her district.

The Freedom Caucus is heading into various sunsets in the next couple of years.

Fannie Mae chair Bill Pulte is weaponizing Palantir-DOGE hacked Fannie Mae computers against any Democrat with two houses. (probably)

Walmart is now offering a high price guarantee, while jobs slowly head for the cliff.  No one does not see the crash coming. Trump wants the Fed to let him squeeze out the last bit before it all ends.

No matter how you slice it, Mamdanimentum rolls through NYC.

Next week: Jeffrey Epstein!

David Waldman returns to Wednesday and finds Greg Dworkin there waiting for him. Greg knows Pi to five decimal places, so why don’t we elect him?

Not enough people like Democrats, but enough do for them to beat Republicans. Donald K. Trump is helping pull down Gops in every way imaginable, in almost every place imaginable. Frank Serpico hopes to see a Zohran Mandani movie someday. The Mamdanimentum seems unstoppable. Elise Stefanik seems stoppable. 

Trump’s no angel… yet... but the mainstream media would rather we all went to hell. Trump estimates that the US is the only country that uses mail-in voting. He figures that if his buddy Bibi is a war hero, he must be too.  Of course, his buddy Vlad is a war criminal… 

If the National Guard can open carry in DC, Jeanine Pirro will allow regular citizens to carry shotguns and rifles as long as they carry them patriotically. A police officer in Maine could tell that he’s not Jeanine’s type. ICE denied a parking spot cooled off by kicking some Latinos.

Dan Bongino is assigned a babysitter, while it takes a village for Pete Hegseth.

Tuesday! David Waldman! KITM!

Can you imagine anything more condescending or patronizing than telling a world leader that today his suit is more acceptable to you?  Maybe not you, but you aren’t Donald K. Trump. Yesterday, in between the times that Trump was waiting for European dignitaries to quit talking about him, he managed to work in something nasty for each person in the room. When he ran out of insults, he just left them there to call up BFF Vlad Putin and talk behind their back. Donald did learn a few things from the meeting, of course not the things people wanted him to. Gops used to support mail-in voting, back when they thought they had to support voting. 

Trump wants 14-year-olds arrested. Married. Pregnant. Trump wants 14-year-olds…

The Feds are taking control of everything in DC. They have no plans to give anything back.

Many judges openly doubt this administration. Somehow, those judges aren’t the ones being assigned to his cases.

A large houseplant has been taken from the White House, unfortunately it is not Trump.

Former Georgia Lt. Gov. Geoff Duncan says he likes ethics and decency, hears that Democrats might vote for that stuff.