Kagro in the Morning

David Waldman ends the week we'll probably be fondly reminiscing about, marveling at the peace and harmony of those halcyon days… The DOJ is charging California state and local officials with something; it doesn't really matter what. In Alaska and California Trump's point isn't to win in court, it's to create losers. Elena Kagan will tell you it's not about the law anymore. Todd Blanche is personally charging misdemeanors in Nevada. Jeanine Pirro just wishes she could prosecute a misdemeanor. KITM Super-Listener Roger Haick recorded a description of ranked-choice voting for those unfamiliar with the concept, including those in his state of Alaska, who've had it for years now. Jared Kushner spends a lot of time in pockets, picking up billions in loose change, yet his big public deals tend to rely a lot on forgeries. Alina Habba made $50 Million on a pardon deal and had the gall to not kick any up to the boss, not even a dime to the Trump library money laundering fund. Jeffrey Epstein and Donald K. Trump have certain things in common, including really pissing off Houthis. Donald K. Trump and Vladimir Putin have certain things in common, but those are mostly all wonderful secrets. Donald tosses Flávio out of his lifeboat, is Bibi next? RIP to Patrick Stewart, who is so revered and admired that it's amazing that Trump hasn't yet posted shit about him.

David Waldman returns to straighten out this mess, two hours at a time. Normally astute, eminently sagacious Greg Dworkin can't shake that Elon monkey on his back. A sad, dirty habit, not to mention that it took me 20 minutes to find substitute links. Sorry, but a couple of those roaches still did skitter through. And there's the polls. Even Nate Silver would rather talk about vibes. Democrats in polls look fantastic. Republicans in polls look terrible. Reality is due to arrive next week. Dems are flooding the early vote… but did we use up all of our allotment? Are we now out of Dems? Can the Gops catch up? Oh no! Were two Dans Sullivan more than a mere coincidence of demographics? Eh, could be… those things do happen. Ranked-choice voting allows as many Dans as you want. In California, there's money to be made in suppressing votes, but the gold rush might be over for Gop lawyer Bill Essayli. No jail can hold James O'Keefe, who keeps discovering new reasons to be imprisoned. ICE are thugs, but MAGA is angry that they aren't their thugs. Gops were all set to be sick of winning right about now but were shocked to discover that they elected a dim-witted, racist, psychopath. It could only be worse if Donald turned out to be some sort of pedo rapist. The founder of Arab Americans for Trump is as surprised as you are. Illegal alien Flavio Bolsonaro must have some of those bad genes that Donald K. Trump warned us about. Flavio is in Miami and thinks he's Napoleon in Elba. Barack Obama wants to clear up any misunderstanding that his Cheesecake Factory quip might have caused.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver a KITM with only a week to go before the election denying begins! in the meantime, we have polls, early voting, and other bone throwing to parse. Things are bad, so that's good. Dems are voting like there's no tomorrow. If Gops don't vote tomorrow, Democrats could win, or maybe make Republicans win by less, which is kind of nice. At least Bottoms is up in the Peach State. Political commercial buffs out there (anyone? anyone?) have only a few more days to enjoy this cycle. Lawn sign burglar Tammy Williams was caught pilfering endorsements. Vivek Ramaswamy's anti-Amy ad is an incredible success… well, actually a pretty credible one. Susan Collins new ad is concerning. Many of her voters were already concerned. Barack Obama scorned Saddam Hussein and Donald K. Trump. MAGA heard "Cheesecake Factory". As if anyone needed a reminder of just how much Donald loves the meat. Everyone really does need a reminder, whether they want one or not. Todd Blanche needs to join Ghislaine Maxwell in a real prison. When Jeremy Lewin goes on trial for the murder of over a million people, he'll hopefully put the finger on any trillionaire crime bosses he might have evidence on. Illegal immigrant Flávio Bolsonaro's caravan crossed through a wide-open border into Florida on a visa fast track. Brazil should extradite him and his coconspirator JD Vance. A grand jury declined to indict Cassidy Hutchinson in one of the million cases the Trump administration is presently losing. Jeanine Pirro is out there losing them as fast as she can when not distracted by throwing Kash Patel under buses.

David Waldman gets us within a week of election day. Let's keep going! 0 days since a Trump rally didn't mention ass. This time at least, it was Trump's fat ass… JD likey! Not a KITM summary goes by that we don't point out the connection between Russia, Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Kompromat Trump's America. Today we have the House Judiciary Committee report of Donald joining in Epstein's sexual abuse of young women that his Justice Department then covered up. Yes, a federal judge "blocked" Trump from destroying a local DC golf course. Trump is going to do it anyhow, even if he has to use tanks and mortars instead of bulldozers. Better than anyone, Donald understands justice delayed is justice denied. However, judges can't make democracy better as well as they can make it worse. Maurene Comey has been reinstated with back pay; therefore, the DOJ will attempt to prosecute James Comey again. FBI officials who did not successfully prosecute Hunter Biden will be prosecuted. The DOJ is preemptively interfering in elections… "rig" for short… in California and Alaska, the "Home of the Dans".

Election day is next week! David Waldman reviews the weekend and previews the week, and finally Greg Dworkin returns hauling another Raft O' Stories dropping only a few tips into the mega-MAGA donor's tip jar. Polls. You shouldn't rely on them, even when they aren't fake. Early voting results, neither. Lawn signs… maybe. In fact, if you are a candidate caught stealing your opponent's signs, it might actually work against you. That said… Early voting seems promising for Dems, if you like to believe in that sort of thing. The good news is, even if polling, early voting, and even lawn signs aren't your thing, there's plenty of evidence that maybe, just maybe, this could work out well. Amy ACTION! Acton had a pleasant weekend. Ohio's biggest newspaper, The Plain Dealer, reversed their no-endorsement policy to endorse Acton, and condemn her contemptable opponent, Vivek Ramaswamy. Vivek has always been deplorable yet has become even more Trumpy lately. Venues don't want to get any of him on them. Donald K. Trump's weekend was less pleasant. Trump hates all non-whites, with perhaps the exception of Nicki Minaj, who he just might have discovered a use for... Trump is delighted to take everyone's money for himself, as they'd probably just waste it at the Cheesecake Factory anyhow. Trumplettes crumble around the world, such as Brazil's Flávio Bolsonaro, son of convict Jair Bolsonaro, and Serbian Aleksandar Vučić, who lost to the local student council. Trump will need to find some jobs for them once he hooks up Viktor Orbán and Bibi. Maybe they can all go work for Lorne Doerkson in British Columbia. Trump wants to rig the Senate election of Dan Sullivan, but only if Dan loses. Of course, that's not "legal" but since when has poisoning a well ever been legal? Anyhow, Alaskans are pretty used to folks having the name Dan.

David Waldman meets our admittedly high expectations with today's Friday KITM. Shocker! There are people in the world who purportedly believe that Jared Kushner acted as a "diplomatic envoy" at some point during his life and now want him to quit! That's insane. When would Jared Kushner have the time? A Dutch phone hack shows that Jared wasn't in Middle Eastern pockets just to gather lint, but to move hundreds of their millions over to his pocket… Ok, maybe a couple billion. Kushner lawyer Chad Mizelle will sue whoever is counting, or maybe hire a hitman, who's to say? God King Donald K. Trump could rename the oceans on a whim yet has now evolved beyond mere words. The puny BBC wants The Trump to speak? Bah! More money than God, Elon Musk buys some elections and maybe a pack of gum. If Alina Habba were conscientious, she'd invest her bribe money appropriately. Kristi Noem is cutting ties, and it appears that Corey Lewandowski might have not been perceived as good a boy as he assumed. Meanwhile, Katie Miller swears that she didn't scream out "Stephen!" with a "v" last night… or with an "x" the night before.

David Waldman is back and solo again, as Greg is still out supervising construction on the east wing of KITM World Headquarters. In Ohio, few people were fully aware of what a prick Vivek Ramaswamy is. Vivek himself finally got the word out this week with the help of Amy Acton's own rape facilitating, fugitive harboring, serial swindling, kitten abusing mother. Vivek's ad has been so successful that it's even boosting Sherrod Brown's Senate campaign over Jon Husted's muscular ass. Ramaswamy now has fewer than 12 days to remind everyone that Laura Loomer is an asshole. Gops threaten criminal prosecution for anyone who releases an ad about the ongoing Hope Florida scandal. Distressingly, the election still remains in the future, leaving it up for grabs who will be grabbing them. The humanitarians over in Russia have several things up their sleeve. For instance, they have a covert influence campaign against candidates who support Ukraine, but of course, election interference is Russia's main export. It's when they become bored of election interference that it will be time to worry. Bond villain Elon Musk is already bored. Then there's our Barely Literate Imbecile in Chief. We are putting up our defenses against him, but who knows what terrifying idiocy he might have in store. The takeover is already underway with jackboots everywhere and more coming. Informing victims that they've been adopted is just one of the perks of their job. A prominent Virginia Democrat has been arrested for irritating the administration and local Gops. A 27-year-old saved kids and the driver of a runaway school bus. He's a Somali, and ICE has his name now, so… USPS cuts are eating MAGA rural voter's faces. Big Timmy Teepell got $250,000 to hassle Abdul El-Sayed, but he didn't give all of that to Little Tommy Teepell, c'mon! Meanwhile, Pete Hegseth's henchmen destroyed the world, but it was meager compensation for losing out on hosting a live TV execution.

David Waldman deflects the information firehose our way for a couple of hours. What an ass! Donald K. Trump never studied the body of a man before, but now that he has, it's the only thing on his mind. It could be ass-envy as Donald's is more machine than ass at this point. Yesterday, Trump was so busy slapping his rudder that his upper half lost control and started waving at nonexistent crowds. Hey kids! With two weeks left in the midterms, you should ask your parents or grandparents about "swiftboating", the time-honored anti-American Republican tradition of vilifying American heroes about the very thing making them heroic Americans. Or just catch the present Ohio gubernatorial race, as Vivek Ramaswamy attacks Amy Acton, who not only survived poverty, deprivation, abandonment and abuse… mental, physical and sexual… but bootstrapped herself into becoming a doctor and American hero. Vivek is gifting Amy's mother, who the courts prohibited from abusing her children for half a century, the chance for one last swing at her. Also ask your parents about James Traficant, the politician who took graft and bad hair past heretofore unknown limits… ah, those were innocent times. Trump and a few of his simps turned up in the Oval Office, which is always assured to be hilarious and horrific. NATO gave us Greenland. Somalis are taking our jobs, houses, cars, and frequent flyer miles. Donald was furious that reporters would come in and ask questions. Nick Shirley was promised taxpayer money for saying bad things about people Trump doesn't like, and you can cash in too! People at Camp Lejeune have not said enough bad things about people that Trump doesn't like and will not be getting checks. Alternatively, Senator Elissa Slotkin said bad things about people that Trump does like… Trump hates corruption. So much that he will make certain that Puerto Rico governor Wanda Vázquez Garced is as clean as a newborn baby's ass. Julio Herrera Velutini hates corruption so much that he gave Alina Habba $50 million in hopes that Donald might give him a good wipe too. Armed Homeland Security agents are "visiting residents in multiple states" just to ask them a few questions about their voting habits. A friendly chat, nothing to worry about if you didn't do anything wrong. Sure, Elon cut Ukraine's Starlink feed, and throat. Where's James Bond when you need him?

A clear Tuesday calendar (with the exception of a note from Scott Anderson that he's out-of-pocket today) left us with a stark choice: dive into just a few key stories, in-depth, or; a flurry of lightning round treatments of a dozen or more stories, all figuring into a more complete understanding of the national political climate? Answer: the few key stories. First up, that damn golf course story. Again! But yes, it's actually critical, "at a level never seen before," to borrow a phrase from an asshole who already owns enough. Yes, at bottom, it's about a golf course, and it shouldn't matter all that much. But two pieces of coverage of the latest courtroom proceedings both emphasize that far broader principles are at stake here. First, Chris Geidner's coverage of "The Department of Justice's" attempt to force the judge to recuse herself from the case, which I remind you is about a golf course! And second, Steve Vladeck's discussion of everything that led up to that attempt, which amply demonstrates how far the "DOJ" is willing to go to support its ridiculous arguments, even in a case which, I remind you again, is about a golf course! There was, however, at least one more story that demanded long-form attention, and that was a follow-up to another insane "DOJ" ploy in California, regarding allegations of "voter fraud." You remember: the ones purportedly demonstrated by the list of supposedly ineligible-yet-registered voters that was allegedly the content of that mystery USB thumb drive. This on the heels of that 48-hour turnaround demand, federal "authorities" have begun arresting people they claim were on that list, despite their decidedly $#*tty record with the validity of previous such lists in other states. Meanwhile, Trump has been trying to leverage his "unitary executive" powers to force the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) to... "secretly acquire a voting machine and hack it." That is, to do what Tina Peters was (until... recently) actually in prison for doing. And speaking of Tina Peters, it seems she's been released from prison in Colorado only to take her act national, and step up to even larger crimes, encouraging Trump to declare martial law to hold on to power before, during and after the upcoming elections. How expansive could those powers be? You don't wanna know, but will find out, anyway.

David Waldman kept today's KITM going until his last UPS died. Listen on Libsyn! Bert Mizusawa might have what it takes to win an election, but not in David's county, they're picky there. Gops are struggling and Elon Musk needs every penny he can get to give to them. Greg Dworkin does what he can to support Elon by promoting many of the very links that you are about to open. It's not about the polls anymore. Even pollsters could've predicted that. Nowadays, speculative divination is being gleaned from early voting which, although too early to tell, complex and open to interpretation… but… is consistent with data suggesting possibly, hopefully, maybe. Take that with a grain of salt. So, enjoy the moment. Gops are in disarray in more ways than anyone can keep up with. Alina Habba and her new husband want to cut Ric Grenell out of his share of their Venezuelan booty. (There's no booty that Donald Krasnov Trump doesn't want a piece of.) Speaking of ass, Dr. Abdul El-Sayed handed some heckler his at a recent town hall. But that wasn't just some heckler, that was little Tommy Teepell, son of big Timmy Teepell and backers of Christian Nationalism, the very folks who would think being Muslim was a crime. CBS reporter Jan Crawford loves fake news, just as some of her co-workers cling to the last bits of the real stuff.