Are you back in high school? Have your pants disappeared? Yes, you are in the middle of a nightmare... Lucky you. Waking nightmares are much more frustrating.

At least we have David Waldman on KITM to explain some of the horrors befalling us.

Bette Midler refused to dance with Donald K. Trump at Studio 54. That was the moment Donald’s mind ceased to function, trapping him forever in the early 80’s. Now, we are trapped with him. So, who’s to blame for the Trump Tariffs? Uhm… Elon Musk? No, probably not. How about Peter Navarro? Maybe it’s Howard Lutnick? Or could it be JD Vance’s fault for these Trump Tariffs?

No one has figured out who is responsible for the Trump Tariffs, but there will be a $100 million, 4-mile-long parade to honor Generalissimo K. Trump on his birthday.

Meanwhile, Gops will raise the debt limit to $5 trillion, and cut taxes by $5 trillion, because at this point, why not? Blue states can officially drop dead. For those who care about an excuse for SignalFiascoGate, here’s one. Complaints and suggestions are always welcome, just remember to fill out your name and address legibly for a quick response! Judges in Texas are standing by to habeas your corpus onto C-17s, ASAP.