SEASON 3 EPISODE 89: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Impeach Trump.

Now. Again.

No, it won’t pass, it won’t work now. But it will pass, and it will work, next year, and it win the Democrats the midterms and the year after that it will brand Trump yet again as the most treacherous garbage in our history. Because lost in the avalanche of evil he has perpetrated since beginning his dictatorship, lost in the astonishment and even the despair of true Americans, lost in the numbed terrified capitulatory media coverage is the reality that his pardoning of the January 6th Traitors is amazingly unpopular, literally unpopular enough to cost him at least 43 house seats, right now, BEFORE he mindlessly signs more red meat Steven Miller slides under his piggish face. And the second part of this is: he has also already violated the Constitution of the United States. Already. Not 48 hours on the job and he is already guilty of impeachable offenses. Already.

There is almost nothing to do to stop Trump NOW. The Democrats are minorities in both houses, the courts are crooked, the SUPREME court is just another Trump Scam, the billionaires like Musk and Bezos and Zuckerberg and the other tech scum have lined up beside him just as Krupp and IG Farben and Opel stood next to and behind Hitler.

There is nothing to do TODAY except (to borrow from the musicals of the fascists) to make sure Tomorrow Belongs To Us. Introduce a bill, or even multiple bills, to impeach Trump. Keep the crimes he has already committed, including the ones he has been convicted of, and the ones he wriggled out of with dubious legality and non-existant morality, front-of-mind. Fight back, thwart him, anger him, waste his time, make him play defense, enrage his base, and terrify the billionaires because you could see on that mouse Zuckerberg’s face at the inauguration that he wasn’t so sure any more he picked the right side, and fight back.

Moreover – give the opposition – not the resistance this time but the DEFIANCE – something to DO with this time other than just sit here and replay November 5th and all the days leading up to it in some P-T-S-D doom loop. Nothing that is wrong in the history of the world has ever been stopped without the same first step: people standing up and SAYING this is wrong, this must BE stopped. 76 and a half million people voted against Trump – 49 and two fifths percent - and we are all just sitting here saying nothing, doing nothing, watching Trump wreck train after train.

B-Block (28:03) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The Twitter-X user so stupid she thinks Biden "parted" more people than Trump. That he "partied" his whole family. Much worse, CNN's Jake Tapper thinks Trump ran a disciplined campaign that "depicted (him) as someone who was within the realm of normalcy." When was that, Jake? When he insisted Immigrants were eating pets in Ohio? No wonder CNN is on the verge of disappearance. And lastly: $MELIANA. You'll figure it out.

C-Block (38:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: When Trumpists say I should shut up because I don't know him and I have "TDS" (what's that, I ask. Trump's Deranged Syndrome?) I like to mention that I met him in December 1983 and he wrote me a fan letter once and I've ALWAYS thought he was off his rocker.

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SERIES 3 EPISODE 88: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: Which one of these stories will you be talking about tomorrow? Remember when he said he’d be a dictator but only on day one? It’s day one. BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR: “The great thing about moving Trump’s inauguration to the rotunda,” writes Biden-Harris advance man Doug Landry, “is that all of his supporters already know how to get there.” CAPITULATION NATION: CBS is discussing settling the most nonsensical lawsuit Trump has ever filed because the settlement would be a wonderfully legal bribe. IT'S NOT A SURPRISE IMMIGRATION RAID if you tell everybody. These fascist morons couldn't stop boasting about their move against Chicago. Now it's almost off. RAMASWAMY GONE! Or as we called him, The Schwam: GONE! Hey, whaddya know, the Department of Government Efficient actually HAS cut waste! 

B-Block (32:39) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Rand Paul is so stupid he thinks running hoses out of the Pacific Ocean could've stopped the Firestorm. An actual major brand is introducing a new product and the catch phrase is "It's soup you can suck!" And Trump finds a new way to spray paint something that cheap flat gold color he loves while getting the name of one of his education employees wrong.

C-Block (42:00) IN MEMORY OF BOB UECKER: The second worst thing about getting old – not VERY old, just old-old – is having to watch nearly all those older than you who, accepted in what was their field and then became theirs and yours – pass on. Especially when they are the widely beloved standard-setters of those fields  like Bob Uecker.

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SEASON 3 EPISODE 87: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: A reminder that what would become the Confederate states thought that secession was constitutional. A reminder that three and a half years earlier the Supreme Court ruled that Congress had no right to ban slavery and slaves had no rights at all. I was thinking of that as President Biden gave his farewell speech last night. Where in the constitution does it say that the nation must commit suicide because a slim majority of its voters have been fooled into believing it ISN’T?

Where in the law does it say that a criminal has to be protected from all laws by judges he corruptly appointed? Where in the law does it say that one man is above it? Where in our agency over our own lives does it say that we must defer to a traitor who has corrupted politics, voting, the judiciary, everything that we must defer to him just because he’s good at being evil? And where does a President's loyalty to his people rest? In protecting the forms and rules of a broken system, or protecting those people from the greatest threat they have ever faced – the threat of his successor who has perverted that broken system to serve himself and a few cronies and whores, and condemn the rest of us? Is it Joe Biden's constitutional and moral responsibility to declare a state of insurrection and put them all behind bars… or NOT to do so?

As I’ve said before, I do not have either enough words nor enough time to tell you how much this ISN’T going to happen – Doomsday, and national suicide, will continue as scheduled. Have fun!

ALSO: The good news is: Pete Hegseth was interrupted three times by hecklers at the hearing for his nomination as Secretary of Brylcreem… the bad news is: it wasn’t three HUNDRED times. He might be the SMARTEST. Pam Bondi apparently didn’t hear a single threat Trump made during his campaign and Tulsi Gabbard doesn’t know what her new job is. Trump goes full Reagan: tries to grab credit for Biden and Blinken’s Hostage Deal and Cease fire. Times, Running Out: is the New York Times actually INTENTIONALLY following the self-destructive path of The Washington Post and CNN. This is not a boat accident. You don’t know Jack-Smith: going out with a whimper not a bang. Love him, but what the hell was that. And how much fun was it to hear Elon Musk make a fool of himself as LA firefighters doused his conspiracy theories with reality?

B-Block (29:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The final shoe has dropped in the saga of my ex, and it has knocked Ryan Lizza out cold. Someone named Dakota Lee Dilley has completely personified the Trump (lack of) mentality: sure they were traitors but they were GIFTED traitors. And if you hate Dan Abrams or Chuck Todd, wait'll you hear Dan Abrams DEFENDING Chuck Todd.

C-Block 49:30 THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Lawrence O'Donnell's last interview? My heart raced with excitement. Then it turned out it was Joe Biden's last interview. Lawrence was just doing it and he, who correctly predicted years ago he could never host a cable news show with any skill for any considerable span, is staying. A terrible human who tried to take Countdown away from me while he was filling in for me while my dad was dying.

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SEASON 3 EPISODE 86: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: MAGA in disarray. While the mass deportation scheme becomes the latest casualty of having elected a bunch of incompetent egomaniacs, Steve Bannon has declared war on Elon Musk. AND Elon Musk’s toady David Sachs. AND Peter Thiel.

Bannon no longer will stop at getting Musk exiled from the White House because Bannon and the rest of the nativist lunatics hate all foreigners but Musk wants to not hate foreigners who can make him more rich via the H1B Visas. Bannon now wants Musk and the others to be the first immigrants thrown out of the country. He actually told this to Italy’s most-read newspaper, Corriere della Sala: "He is a truly evil guy, a very bad guy. I made it my personal thing to take this guy down... he should go back to South Africa. Why do we have South Africans, the most racist people on earth...making any comments at all on what goes on in the United States."

The point isn't whether Musk actually does kill and eat Musk. It's that they fight. Because at the same time Musk is admitting he can only cut half of the "government inefficiency" he promised to, and "Border Czar" Tom Homan is warning Republicans that Trump won't be deporting millions immediately. More like 60,000. And the Trump junta has admitted it can't unilaterally lower grocery prices, or install universal tariffs, and he's not going to dig up the Panama Canal and move it to Mar-a-Lago on Inauguration Day, he ain’t buying Greenland and coercing Canada and guess what, he didn’t “settle” Russia’s war on Ukraine in 24 hours, and his minions are hinting his attempts to turn the LA fires into an exploitable political event are going to crash.

And even before re-gaining power, Trump has pre-failed.

B-Block (34:55) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Joe Scarborough doubles down on his role as Marshal Petain-In-The-Ass at MSNVIchy. Politico dubs him "Elon Mush" then deletes it. And Naomi Wolf thinks victims of the Southern California firestorm aren't panicking enough.

C-Block (45:20) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It's bleak and the forecast for next week is Trump. So I need a laugh and maybe you do too. And this we bring you back to 1994 and the greatest off-air laugh in ESPN's history: Soccer Breakdown.

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SEASON 3 EPISODE 85: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: Justice Samuel Alito must be off from the Supreme Court of the United States. Immediately. Today. He is without any morals, ethics, judicial standards, and if he is aware of the CONCEPT of the appearance of the conflict he no longer gives a damn. ABC News reports – and Alito confirms – that on TUESDAY he SPOKE to Trump – the day before Trump’s lawyers filed an emergency request demanding Alito and the other justices BLOCK New York Judge Juan Merchan from sentencing Trump tomorrow for his 34 convictions in the Election Interference/Stormy Daniels case here. Even though there is 0% chance of jail time, and probably not much more of one of probation or a fine.

The convicted felon constitutionally ineligible president-elect is also has the TikTok case in front of the Supreme Court AND will probably take the release of either or both of the two halves of the Jack Smith report on Trump – Espionage and the Coup Attempt – to the Supreme Court to try to keep those reports from ever seeing the light of a day and this human embodiment of sleaze Sam Alito TALKED TO HIM BY PHONE less than 48 hours ago.And what is Alito’s excuse for this complete breach of judicial etiquette? Alito told ABC the conversation WAS not about the cases, it was about… a job reference he wanted to personally given to get his law clerk a job in Trump's administration - even if it's true, ALSO a conflict of interest.

Sam Alito to ABC News: "We did not discuss the emergency application he filed today, and indeed, I was not even aware at the time of our conversation that such an application would be filed. We also did not discuss any other matter that is pending or might in the future come before the Supreme Court or any past Supreme Court decisions involving the President-elect." 

Nonsense.

Sam Alito lied in the case of the political flags flown over his homes and his conflicts with neighbors. He has publicly complained that the American public has had the nerve to disagree with him. He has imposed his religious nut job views on cases at the Court. How could you be so dense, so unaware of the hatred you personally have brought down upon this once most respected of American governmental institutions, as to conduct that call, NOW? I mean this would be cheap and petty and obvious and a conflict of interest even by Trumpian standards.

Just recusing is insufficient. He must be off the court. In point of fact, Alito should recuse, resign… and go to hell.

SOLUTION TO AILEEN CANNON? Ignore her. Solution to Mark Zuckerberg: Wonder with what Trump has threatened him. Solution to a tough Fox News town hall: Give Trump the questions secretly beforehand. Solution to invading Greenland, Canada, and Panama when we are by treaty required to protect Greenland, Canada and Panama? You got me.

B-Block (46:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Jen Psaki does a lengthy commentary wondering, four years too late, if Merrick Garland was the wrong choice to be Attorney General and she was wrong to promote him. Ultimately she decides she didn't screw up because "nobody can predict the future" even though the rest of us did. Like even Erick Erickson, whose J6 tweet resurfaces in which he called for barring Trump for office for life. And the suicide bomber Bezos brought in to destroy the Washington Post actually asked how to attract Trump supporters.

C-Block (58:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: The mandatory evacuation line in Santa Monica is three blocks north of the home I used to own when I worked there. It's amazing how a trivial detail like that can clarify a disaster like the L.A. fires - and how millions of us Angelenos (me included) managed to live in denial about the risks of living and building and expanding there. This is not criticism - it's confession.

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SEASON 3 EPISODE 84: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:50) SPECIAL COMMENT: Happy Insurrection Day, when Republicans will certify the election of a “president” who is constitutionally ineligible to hold the office according to the 3rd clause of the 14th Amendment and the Electoral Count Reform Act of 2022 and who himself fomented the assault four years ago that ended our conceit about the peaceful transfer of power. The illegitimate president’s Republican whores and servants may in fact trudge to the capitol through a blizzard to make this prostitution of democracy official

The Democrats? They won’t say anything because this didn’t TEST well as a campaign ad and their flaccid willingness to risk anything in our defense is further deflated by their perception that this is a fait accompli and since it is a fait accompli ESPECIALLY because of their own cowardice they now have to do their best to compromise, and obey in advance, a group of bandits and pirates posing as a presidential administration, whose only desire TO compromise is to compromise Democrats and the Free Press and Reality and democracy itself.

These are some of those Republicans: Freshman Congressman Riley Moore – “My constituents have sent me here to this town not to work with Democrats but to destroy their agenda." “We asked everyone not to leak. Please for god’s sake do not give inside information to the enemy” that's from the LEAD Republican in the House, the CREEPIEST Republican in the House since Denny Hastert, Mike Johnson and I don’t know if by “the enemy” he means the Democrats or the media or both or the temptations of his anti-porn app, and I no longer care.

This is Insurrection Day and we all KNOW what the Republicans would be doing today in the mirror version of this grim reality; if they were in charge and Trump were in office and had presidential immunity and a new president was about to sign off on putting him in jail and it would be what they actually did four years ago today only they wouldn’t bother to try to be subtle or legal about it (they’d be gassing up the tanks).

AND NO, JUDGE JUAN MERCHAN IS NO HERO. He too is obeying in advance. Along with the Washington Post, squeezing out cartoonist Ann Telnaes. And Brian Stelter, covering up for Fox News. And the media soft-pedaling the Vegas bomber's hopes to see all Democrats murdered, and Congressman Tom Suozzi, and soon-to-disappear Senator Kyrsten Sinema.

B-Block (29:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Those memorializing Aaron Brown without including the incident about his refusal to cover The Challenger explosion; Congresswoman Nancy Mace and "Gunther Eagleman" who only read the headline; and the meticulous Oliver Darcy who only gets mentioned here because he asked a question that really traumatized me: What will Olivia Nuzzi do in 2025? (42:14) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Remember dear Flaco? The majestic owl liberated from the Central Park Zoo? There is an extraordinary new book about him. And from an old book: remember the Ash Heaps in "The Great Gatsby"? They were real and you'll never believe what was built were they used to sit.

C-Block (52:00) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Young Tippy needs the same surgery my new pup Kitt just got, and we need your help to pay for it. (55:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It's an actors' story that invokes Trump, Orson Welles, The Odd Couple, Mike Nichols - and me?

 

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SEASON 3 EPISODE 83: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

Bulletin (1:45) In the worst post-disaster, post-terrorism news conference in our history, a string of elected officials and police and other law enforcement officers somehow managed to make worse a terror tragedy that has left at least ten people dead in the French Quarter of New Orleans on New Year's Day.

If the least sophisticated form of terrorism – a car driving onto a sidewalk and then into a crowd on the street during holiday celebrations – happens in a city known for crowds on the street during holiday celebrations – do not congratulate each other on the great job you’ve done and will do - and get mad at reporters for asking how the hell it happened.

And most of all, Superintendent of Police Anne Kirkpatrick and Captain LeJon Roberts, do not explain as if it were the most natural thing in the world, that the bollards – the removable stainless still blocks designed to keep terrorists from driving onto pedestrian-filled streets – that you bought a decade ago didn’t work right so two months ago you started to replace them and you have the new ones ready to go and they’ll provide total safety only they weren’t there on New Year’s Eve so you had a police car blocking the road but that the terrorist simply drove up onto the sidewalk instead.

And then to listen to Senator John Kennedy, the Foghorn Leghorn of American politics, and Governor Jeff Landry, with the tone and stupidity of a supervisor of a chain gang, try to score political points, foment conspiracy theories, make jokes while bodies still lay on the streets, and assure everyone The Sugar Bowl (and, in a month) the Super Bowl will be safe because he, Landry The Human Talisman, will be there - combined with the lies of Trump and Marjorie Greene about the Texas-born terrorist being an immigrant - add up to this: the non-rank-and-file people responsible for protecting New Orleans last night didn't know what they were doing last night, and they don't know what they are doing today.

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SEASON 3 EPISODE 82: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: My friend – and what a privilege it has been to call him that – President Jimmy Carter would disagree that he is STILL the lead story, the day after. After all, he might note, he WAS 100, he was in hospice a year-and-a-half, his own grandson said he was in his final days – that was last May 15th. How, Keith, is this a surprise to you? The Braves letting Freddie Freeman leave should have been a surprise to you!

He would probably disagree he was the best since FDR, probably arguing that the best since FDR at least got re-elected. I will make my case, and more importantly, my case that the fact he WASN’T re-elected was the beginning of the end. The 1980 election was when I realized America wanted a spokesmodel, not a leader. A fake smile, not principles; often somebody dumber than they were. Even Clinton and Obama and their exceptional presidencies prevailed on charisma. That we turned away a complete human for a mentally diminished bad actor who wasn't that sharp to begin with has set a pattern we may never break before the nation ends.

I will also tell the thoroughly satisfying story of how President Carter became my friend, after which there was very little I could point to professionally and say 'I have left this unaccomplished.'

B-Block (29:52) NEWS BREAK: Two legal scholars insist that a week from today Democrats in the house must refuse to certify Trump’s election because the specific legislation to disqualify him for insurrection that the Supreme Court demanded in this year’s 14th Amendment case already exists.

But on the Washington-focused news site “The Hill” they insist no matter what the Supreme Court says and no matter what the consequences might be, Trump has already been DISQUALIFIED from federal office under the 14th Amendment AND Article Two gives the House sole authority to confirm a presidential election and I will add that while once again I cannot tell you how much this is not going to happen it would be nice to see Democrats do something, something, anything at all, just to peacefully protest what a failed and useless crapshow the government and its supposed protections against dictatorships and authoritarians and foreign control of our government has become – and what a hapless and flaccid vessel the Democratic party has become in the wake of Trump’s treacherous conspiracies to transform and subvert what was our clunky but largely functional form of representative government in, you know, the good old days of yore, like, oh, 2013 and 2014 into a subsidiary of Trump or Musk Enterprises. You know: AmericaX.

C-Block (56:20) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: What did you do on Christmas Eve? Go out into the cold, under-dressed, to search for Sasquatch? Last time they'll try that! Marianne Williamson is running for DNC chair because things ain't hella enough. And Cenk Uygur manages to beclown himself in a new way for the record-breaking 1000th time.

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SEASON 3 EPISODE 81: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: To paraphrase Van Jones and other panderers: This was the weekend Elon Musk truly became president.

It was also the weekend the other guy became Donald J. Trumpuppet.

The number of Republicans who defied Trump over the Continuing Resolution ranges, depending on your point of view, from 29 to ALL of them. Because they also voted by unanimous consent to bury Musk's fabricated controversy over the no-cost land transfer to the District of Columbia. Trump, for his part, is in a bigger hole now than he ever was during his presidency as the self-inflicted losses pile up:

The Gaetz Lack-of-Ethics Report may come out today. Other nominations are in trouble. One new one may be Alan Dershowitz and another may have padded his resume. The idea of Recess Appointments is forgotten. Trump has been taunted with the "Musk Is President" chatter. Some Republicans are taking it seriously and suggesting him for Speaker. And that in turn let Democrats emphasize Trump tanked the deal to benefit his interests with the Chinese Communist Party.

And Trump spoke yesterday for the first time in weeks and sounded drunk - which is a problem, because he doesn't drink. All while he is being pursued by his two worst enemies: himself - and Musk.

B-BLOCK (27:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Remember my suggestion that MSNBC's response to Trump's win and its own tanking ratings was to do nothing but double down and exploit the Liberal Media Monopoly the cowards at CNN, The Washington Post and others were giving them? Guess what! MSNBC's new boss wants... better relationships with Republicans. (40:56) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Martin Shrkeli emerged from his sewer to get owned on social media, New York sends a bill for damages to the family of a guy a police officer killed with an unmarked car, and are there secret Mark Burnett Trump Outtake Tapes? Don't ask Burnett - he now works for Trump.

C-BLOCK (50:20) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: You have your Christmas story, I have mine. Mine is about falling off a cliff near Malibu filming a commercial for fast-food chicken. Stick around for the post-closing theme guest appearance Easter eggs courtesy some of my dogs.

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SEASON 3 EPISODE 80: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump’s chief thug wants to put Rachel Maddow in prison. Steve Bannon: “I need investigations, trials and then incarceration… Andrew Weissmann on MSNBC and Rachel Maddow and all of them."

Oh and just so we are clear on this: YOU are next. Or close to it. Trump is this close to suing YOU for writing mean tweets about him. Or for not voting for him. Or, if your name is Anne Selzer, for putting out a Des Moines Register election poll that didn’t favor him. Emboldened by such pathetic self-prostituting excuses for American leadership as Jeff Bezos, Patrick Soon-Shiong, Joe Scarborough -- and Bob Iger and all the snatch-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory cowards at Disney and ABC News -- Trump has now lost any remaining sense that anybody is even going to try to stop him. It is hard to point at a crazy man and say he’s now lost it, but… he’s now lost it.

You are next. Well, you’re probably behind me, and we’re both behind Maddow, and she’s behind Anne Selzer, but you know what I mean.

So Bannon wants to lock up Maddow and others at MSNBC and their co-workers Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski scuttled to Mar-a-Lago to save their own worthless asses. Ten days ago the entertainment news site Variety asked me to write a piece for their year-in-review on what MSNBC should do now. The TL;dr was: double down because all the other progressive and neutral news organizations have fled in fear and left you the same kind of opportunity for monopoly that we had there in 2005. The audience will be back with you directly. Stay the course. Of course you have to fire Mr. and Mrs. Scarborough or you let them turn you into MSN-Vichy. I'll give you a longer version of what I did for the magazine. 

B-Block (32:07) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Trump's Tariffs Plan. It apparently never dawned on him it would draw retribution. Ontario's premier threatens to cut off the Canadian electricity that directly services 1.5 million Americans. A Democratic pollster says the campaign should've been food costs not democracy and never once gets near the actual answer: both. And the most recent GOP candidate for Governor of Pennsylvania can't tell the difference between a "downed drone" and a "toy movie prop headed for the next Comicon."

C-Block (41:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: At 86, Ted Turner is in-and-out. At 43, when I worked for him, none of us would have bet on him still being in, at all. He was a crazy man and a danger to himself, and thank goodness he steered out of the skid. But the crazy version left me countless stories, like the time he nearly fired me over the cameraman's choice of hats, and I nearly responded by socking him.

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