David Waldman is out introspecting today, as his Days of Awe end and our days of awful begin.

A hidden conservative network bankrolls right-wing news. A dark money group is secretly funding Democratic influencers. Clearly, Mr. Waldman needs to get out more and make some more friends.

Whether you were "politically correct", "woke", or "pinko", the Right has always wanted you to shut up.

Government has ended; Donald K. Trump burns the crops and salts the earth. Federal workers know who to blame but are told to blame the others. Lisa Cook remains at the Federal Reserve Board as her office window is just too low to throw her out of.

E.J. Antoni however, can't run the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, now that people found out what an asshole he is, and since "statistics" have been added to the Trump enemies list.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin begin our month talking about the end of the USA.

After 6 months of tumbling down the mountainside, our government lays in a heap at the bottom of the cliff. Who the hell was at the wheel? Gops deserve most of the blame, as this has been their destination for a generation, they're taking selfies around the debris, and are already killing any survivors they can get their hands on. Democrats have also found their rock bottom and decided to hold on to it to see how long the Gops can take it.

The second front on Donald K. Trump's war on America is his literal war on America. Yesterday, Pete Kegsbreath said that he will transform our military forces into the best frat in history: no lardos, unlimited hazing, and girls, girls, girls! Military leaders in attendance quietly smacked their gobs at the new directives, then Generalissimo Trump assured them that their troops will soon be using hippies for target practice. 

Google searches are having memory lapses, trouble forming sentences and completing thoughts when asked about Trump and dementia.

Donald gave an "Article-5-like" security guarantee to Qatar promising to send a lot of the n-word into the Middle East if they are ever in trouble. Yes, Trump's jumbo jet refurbishment is coming along nicely, why do you ask?

You know what you aren't asking about? A few things, but also JEFFREY EPSTEIN. Once Arizona Democrat Adelita Grijalva is sworn in, some of those things can be looked into. Grijalva deserves to be at work, but federal judges have determined that Sigal Chattah and Alina Habba should be unemployed.

Speaking of employment, now is the time to send some Darwin Darko's way! Contact him or us with leads!

David Waldman has been warning us ever since our previous government shutdown about our upcoming government shutdown, which is set to be even worse than our present government shutdown!

Our own Darwin Darko, aka BA-International Relations, aka MA-Public Administration is UNDEREMPLOYED. Get the word out, contact him or us for more details!

Pete Hegseth wants YOU! He wants the US military to look like a World War II poster… no… no… no… the BAD guys this time. A "force for good" is too woke, time to be "a FORCE"! And more medals! And no fatties! And no snitches! But a lot more to snitch about! It'll be the world's greatest fraternity! 

Kash Patel handed out 3D-printed guns as party favors in New Zealand.

YouTube gives Donald their lunch money, will still end up in a locker. Trump wants US drugs as low as other countries, will accept other countries' drugs as high as the US. It's all the same to him. President Donald K. (Karen) Trump wants to speak to the manager at Microsoft this time. Prosecuting enemies is taking too long, when napalm gets the job done fine. After all, you don't hear any of those Venezuelan fishermen complaining, do you?

Russia uses 'shadow fleet' tankers to launch drones towards European cities. Hundreds of Deep State agents caused January 6. Which story do you think Trump will believe? 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us another KITM from under another cloud of another mass shooting or two or three or four. The shooters look pretty Trumpy, therefore the national focus will be more on the venue, at least until we get a better look at what's been Sharpied on the bullets.

Meanwhile, the Keystone ICE yakety saxes their brand of terror through major cities… though suddenly not Portland, Oregon as Trump either TACOs or snaps out of his dementia, temporarily. National Guard troops will now be redeployed to South Park, Colorado.

The disappointingly non-fictional Donald K. Trump promoted a completely fake Trump hawkering a phony product.  Whether Trump believes anything he says or not, you are expected to believe it or else. The QAnon Shaman says he's the rightful president. At this point, he could be.

James Comey's indictment is real, but the case against him is imaginary.

Everybody will lose if the government shuts down. Trump will pretend to win or blame it on trans people. As long as Mike Johnson pretends that Adelita Grijalva hasn't been elected, MAGA can pretend that Trump isn't in the Epstein files. Over at Epstein Alley, aka the "Rose Garden", they're living the dream.

Moldova! Like their language, now and forever!

Eric Adams is not so forever but won't soon be forgotten.

David Waldman shoves us through the gateway to chaos, then runs over to Monday with a giant catcher's mitt.

On the Day of Rapture, Donald K. Trump found that couldn't even go up on an escalator. He cried like a dog about that at the UN along with everything else outside of when he wasn't braggadocio do-do-ing. People have determined that he is nuts, including, bit by bit, the mainstream media and even a few Republicans.

Ok, so Trump's crazy, now what? Who and whose army is going to stop him? Pete Hic-seth has invited hundreds of senior military officers to party down in Virginia with him, open bar all night! Let's see whose strategy can handle him.

Europe has already entered World War III.

Strange offspring of Halliburton and the Culligan Man, Lindsey Halligan, checked one more off Trump's enemy list. (The list that ends with you.) Today it's James Comey turn with a grand jury indictment, show trial, hundreds of hours of Fox coverage, etc. The verdict is irrelevant.

Pam Bondi is transferring the people Joe Biden would not kill to places where they will wish they died. Trump's radical transparency extends to the personal information of Democratic contenders, then becomes opaquer… Never mind that FBI agent they are investigating for investigating Alex Jones… Attention incels! Check out Alex Jones' one weird trick to score hot females!

Billions in taxpayer dollars have become virtually untraceable. You don't want to know where they're going anyhow. Donations to Krisi Noem will move you right to the head of the FEMA line. Government is never slow when it comes to jokes about them.

David Waldman is back at it, but without Greg Dworkin who is out working on home renovations.

Donald K. Trump wants Russia to give Ukraine back some of its cards so they can play another round. If that doesn't work, he will just call Ukraine "Uzbekistan" and sell them 22,787 Dreamliners. It's not just that Trump is nuts, he's stupid, and dangerous. At least the cornfield kid wasn't such a whiner! The UN escalator worked just fine for Nobel Prize winner President Obama.

Trump's UN address was a tragedy of Shakespearian proportions, performed by an actual fool. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark... Whether tis Putin or not Putin, that is the question. Oh look, there's some Russian warplanes over Alaska… probably nothing.

Trump's youth support has faded. At least with those who didn't vote for the Lulz. The problem with being an edgelord is eventually the edge. Trump will always redefine the edge as the middle to solve that problem. 

Meanwhile, we head toward another government shutdown. Gops see this as a chance to shut down government, which is the only reason they even get up in the morning. They'll eventually hire them back again, so they can have the satisfaction of firing them again.

Ken Chesebro is so dishonest and inept of a lawyer that he's been disbarred/suspended in several states, now including Washington DC. Trump will never make the mistake of hiring someone like him ever again. From now on, all of Donald's dishonest and inept lawyers will be babes.

Trump Bible and Turning Point USA sales representative Ryan Walters will be watching porn on his own time from now on.

See? It wasn't the end of the world! David Waldman, and Greg Dworkin are back on the air!

So is Jimmy Kimmel! That is all thanks to "We the People", and not just those of us who were binging as fast as possible to maybe get around to cancelling Disney+… and we would have too! But also, those standing up to ABC from everywhere to demand accountability, including people that they actually knew and cared about. Donald K. Trump will not be tuning in. (He totally watched every minute.) Many stations still won't air the show. Did you know that "stations" still... "air" ... "shows"?

Everyone agrees that Trump seems to have experienced a massive "masterstroke" at the UN yesterday, perhaps a series of them. Donald will be autopenning his posts for a while.

We also welcome back Jeffery Epstein, who became impossible to suspend, either by executive or royal decree. Arizona's special election could give Dems enough votes to make Mike Johnson's job holding fig leaves in place a lot tougher. Let's see Trump Article 2 himself out of this one!

Ryan Walters, Trump Bible salesman-superintendent, wants Turning Point in every Oklahoma high school and Charlie Kirk statues in every state university in the US. Sounds like a design job for some Etsy Witches.

David Waldman wishes us all a sweet future, unless your plans revolve around the future "ending"... then, well, good for you too.

Donald K. Trump has not been trumpeted into heaven as of this writing, but he does know Hell. Trump informed UN members that they will be going there soon. ICE is deporting any laws controlling them straight to Hell. A federal judge saw Trump's NYT defamation lawsuit as 85 pages of Hell. But Donald says that couldn't be when it's all about an angel.

Trump hates anyone who does not love him. Stephen Miller hates everyone. Everyone hates Stephen Miller.

Trump does not love Russians invading Estonian airspace, but what can you do?

Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski are becoming disgruntled by their own incompetence, while disgruntled DOGE Leland Dudek "pretended" to be incompetent in order to bust Big Balls and friends. The Bureau of Labor Statistics may seem suddenly incompetent but can't avoid becoming disgruntled with a boss like E.J. Antoni. Texas Gop Brian Harrison isn't at all competent but is making a career out of being disgruntled.

Debt creditors are hunting down Karoline Leavitt.  She'll need to ask Scott Bessent for one of his sweet Argentina loans.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are out tomorrow for a little R&R… Rosh Hashanah and Rapture. Depending on how that goes, they'll be back on Wednesday!

"Autism" was coined in 1911. Acetaminophen was marketed 40 years later. Tylenol hit the market in 1955, one year after RFK Jr. was born... COINCIDENCE? Yes. Just another of the many coincidences that you can point to, that did not cause your child's autism. Not coincidentally, RFK Jr. stock is dropping about as fast as Tylenol's.

Jimmy Kimmel is saved by a TACO. Charlie Kirk, meanwhile, is still dead. Not officially a saint, but definitely a martyr for whatever cause a MAGA could imagine. Charlie was a man of steel, just one tiny bit less bullet resistant than Trump but with a heart of gold that Donald will gladly sell to the highest bidder. Trad wife no more, Nepo/DEI hire Erika Kirk discovers that Tyler Robinson was not black, a Dem, a woman or even antifa, so of course she forgives him. Nürnberg vibes filled the air as DJ Stephen Miller spun the hits of yesteryear.

Shhh…  Donald K. Trump wants the government to destroy his opposition. Well, that's no secret. Trump has wanted that for years. What are you going to do about it, impeach him? ICE breaks present laws and will break any new ones that you throw at them too. Attorneys that don't break laws fast enough get canned in this administration.

Don't you just hate Indians and Koreans? No? Maybe you aren't a tech bro. Tech bros hate Indians and Koreans. If there's a particular nationality that you do hate, there's probably a spot for you in this administration.

Republicans are beginning to get sick of winning.

There's no denying the Trump administration's obsessive attention to detail, at least when it comes to Hollywood-level casting of their cabinet members. Dirty cop Tom Homan should think before ordering the veal or accepting sacks of cash from FBI agents. Good thing he has friends higher up.

The US vaporized some more boaters in the Caribbean that they suspect of things. Suspects remain suspects after they are vaporized.  Trump suggests that people should hold off on "water fishing" for the time being… maybe take up "fly fishing?"

Chaos doesn't take the weekend off, but David Waldman does, so apocalypse later, make it Monday, ok?

Trump's ouster of Jimmy Kimmel Is much worse than you think it is… maybe even worse than I think it is! The remaining late-night hosts satirically bowed to Trump, but it kind of felt like a rehearsal while old Charlie Kirk Show scripts are being loaded into their teleprompters.

Trump and MAGA have no problem with their pronouns, "they" is never "them", no matter how much they seem like them. Trump will exterminate all of them… or "they" … Obviously, the only way to defend against something like this would be to hire more dipshits for the dumbasses to yell at. And they had better be real dipshits too, because any dumbass can tell if you're just pretending to be a dipshit by just looking at you.

Case in point, U.S. Attorney Erik Siebert will be fired for not pressing false charges against Letitia James, while Ed Martin is free to McGruff cosplay outside James' house. The case against Lisa Cook is in tatters, while the team that put together the New York Times lawsuit orders another round of drinks.

South Korea had such high hopes for us, then they turned on the news. They are beginning to see that with Trump they don't need to FA to FO. Former Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro will be waiting 27 years and three months for Trump's pardon.

Vladimir Putin must have had TACO translated into Russian, and is checking out Poland, Romania, and Estonia.