David Waldman delivers us to another end of another week before Donald sells Vladimir Friday.

Folks with oceanfront properties around Odessa and Juneau better start packing. Donald K. Trump is up north and in an Art of the Deal mood with some picky customers today, including Co-President Vlad Putin, and is itching to swap some land and lives for a Nobel prize.

Donald loves free gold flattery, and he’s not too proud to beg for it. Hey, who does Trump have to blow up for a peace prize around here? After she wins one, Hillary Clinton will let Donald look at hers. (From a distance.)

While various Trump screwballs hog the spotlight, Kari Lake has been quietly amassing criminal violations. Honest, officers, she IS the acting overseer of Voice of America! Paperwork, man! Former Trump lawyer Abbe Lowell brings experience to Letitia James and Hunter Biden. One way or another Letitia James is going to jail. Judge Jeb Boasberg will regret privately hinting that there might be a concern that something could ever be illegal.

Paperwork does often disagree with Trump, but it is numbers that are his true enemy. Out goes the 6th IRS commissioner in seven months... but who’s counting? (If they want to keep their job.) People who do persist in using numbers can’t see Trump’s economic miracle happening right around them. Soon, all companies will be Trump.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are together again, one more time until we’re all seeing Russia from our house.

Donald K. Trump always wants a crisis, which is the only manufacturing job booming in the US, thanks to pansies like Tim Burchett, hiding in his DC office because his Tennessee office would be too dadgum dangerous, brother.  Spirit Halloween costume come to life, Markwayne Mullin, needs to really hydrate to pee his pants so constantly. (Speaking of shitty neighborhoods, get out of ExTwitter, and follow the Editorial Board on Blue Sky. They have the exact same posts, but they smell better.)

Remember kids, when throwing a sandwich has the same penalty as throwing a brick, don’t waste your food!

Trump’s choice to run the Bureau of Labor Statistics might look like he ties women to railroad tracks, but the White House swears he wasn’t a January 6th terrorist… not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But, now we’re WINNING! At this moment. Famine or feast now might be irrelevant at election. Short-term thinking is destroying America and playing into Trump’s tiny hands, according to these headlines, I mean, tldr!

Trump would not have to be a dictator if you’d just do what you’re told. Maybe he’ll run for re-election in 2026 if he’s feeling cute. Some Gops want to wait for a little more totalitarianism before they redistrict. Dems would redistrict, but feel uncomfortable winning that much. What do the polls say? Whatever you want them to… mostly what Trump wants them to. (Ron Brownstein would be on Blue Sky, but you playin’.) Whoever wins Civil War II, moderates should be the first ones up against the wall.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take us over the wacko Wednesday hump.

Winning! That will be the only conclusion you’ll ever be able to draw about the US, from any US source from now on. Everything that the government says henceforth will be consistently useless for every citizen. Stats, science, history, and art will first pass through Donald K. Trump, and those who don’t come back for seconds will regret it. (Speaking of crap, don’t go to that site. Ron Brownstein, Bruce Bartlett, and of course, Justin Wolfers are on Blue Sky. Heck, you can watch Justin Wolfers on MSNBC, on somebody else’s TV, on bsky.app! 

Trump wants to know students’ race to make certain that the wrong ones don’t get extra. The NIH will pivot away from mRNA vaccines, not because they don’t work, but because of vibes. Their vibes. CDC projects and careers are shot down as bullets come through their windows.

Skateboarders beware! A military presence in Washington DC won’t stop murders, car jackings or arson on any block where they aren’t standing, and the bubble boys will still be afraid to come out, but DC did vote for Kamala, therefore a bronze likeness of Big Balls will need to be placed at the base of the Washington Monument.

Political polls (BTW, follow Political Polls on Blue Sky) indicate some good things upcoming for Dems. Latinos still surviving in the United States are beginning to sour on the Gop. WARs and WARPs are the MVPs. Mamdanimentum is being fueled by Cuomo and Trump, as a list of their scandals can fill a dozen ads.

Forget The Apprentice. Ghislaine Maxwell is the reigning champion on The Price is Right, and it’s looking good for the Showcase Showdown. Russia, Russia, Russia!

Usha Vance may not hate JD now, but why wait on the divorce?

Marjorie Taylor Greene makes more than 30 times what she did when she was first elected. How? Go to hell! Maybe her buddy Laura Loomer can take her there.

David Waldman does his Tuesday KITM thing. As you are doing, right now.

Donald K. Trump, that little ‘Gyna-tease, taco’d his China tariffs into Christmas buying season. As if he’d ever cross Xi Jinping, who’s quite a pussy-grabber himself. Trump’s off to Alaska, but he’s already given away his planned Putin bargaining chip.

Meh, Trump is a bigger commie than the two of them put together, and a true innovator of corruption. Donald’s the Thomas Edison of Harold Hills, the Elon Musk of Elon Musks. He’s earned every cyberpenny he’s soaked from the rubes, no matter how many that may be. Who better, then, to crack down on crime? At least, the crime of being scary, young, brown, and/or homeless and in the line of sight of old, white, pussies, and/or tourists.

It’s hard to fight back against fear, hate, bigotry... and cops. Republicans are getting used to being hated, maybe... a little turned on, maybe they’ll pass a couple more mega-bills and see how that feels.

JD Vance must love being hated. Why else would he hang around Usha?

Monday and David Waldman return to varying degrees of anticipation.

Greg Dworkin hauls in his latest Raft O’ Stories™ out of the fetid morass of ExTwitter. Let’s say that place sucks and you don’t like it.  If so, you can follow Adam Carlson, Jacob Kornbluh, Lakshya Jain, Justin Wolfers, Scott Lincicome, Brian Rosenwald, John J. Harwood, and Jonathan Robinson on... BLUE SKY! You won’t find Andrew Cuomo there, but that’s not a bad thing.

The Zohran Mamdanimentum seems unstoppable. If Andrew Cuomo wasn’t Andrew Cuomo he might have a chance, but the more people know about Andrew Cuomo, the more they want Zohran Mamdani. Donald K. Trump wants New Yorkers to think of Trump when they see Cuomo. The “think of Trump” strategy might work for Democrats in 2026, but not forever. 

Good news! If the US goes post-apocalyptic in the next few months, the Dems will be shoe-ins! Trump promised you that other countries would pay the cost of Tariffs… but did you get that in writing? The only thing Donald ever gets in writing are NDFs.  If Trump doesn’t agree to anything he can claim anything.

Trump is replacing the CHIPS act because it worked, it was Biden’s, and he wasn’t getting a taste, which is called “state capitalism with Soprano's characteristics”.

Trump is now aiming his Epstein-Class missiles at any “drug cartels” of any country who haven’t nominated him for a Nobel recently. Winsome Earle-Sears blows reveille while the Feds march like Sherman through DC. Meanwhile, Donald’s crack “SS” Troops (Sydney Sweeney) infiltrate our beloved internet arguments. 

David Waldman is back! No wait, I was gone, he was here. At least it’s Friday, right?

A good guy without a gun stopped a bad guy with a gun at a place with a lot of guns.

It sounds as if Trump oversold his trade deals a bit. He does have a tendency to overstate things.  Trump showed reporters a poster with a line and numbers no one has ever seen before. Winning!

Trump appointees sacked Judge James Boasberg’s contempt order against other Trump officials, prompting Senator Sheldon Whitehouse to explain the problem to Chief Justice John Roberts, who dropped the letter in the TLDR file, as he has some elections to rig.​​​​

DOJ senior advisor Jared Wise, called police “Nazi” and demanded their murder… but that was back when he was an impressionable youngster of four or so years ago.

WNBA players aren’t paid what they are worth but certainly don’t need some incels’ hand-me-down dildos. Don Jr. gave his dad a dildo along with all the Skibidi rizz that, of course, entails.

It’s Thursday! That means Greg Dworkin is on his way out the door for the weekend! That’s OK. Congress is gone all month.

Which might be why Democrats in that body aren’t doing what the latest “centrist” pundit says they ought to be doing… which is, of course, praising Trump.

But under no circumstances must you hand it to Trump!

The “idea,” we gather, stems from the Old School Media Playbook, which instructs that if a president says it and then it happens, it’s a “win.” Even if it’s an obvious disaster. But this particular “idea” also rests on multiple false assumptions. Like that Democrats have no electoral support. (They do.) Or that Trump is popular. (He’s not.) Or that his “policies” are wise and well-considered. (They’re not.) Or that members of his party benefit politically from his leadership. (They don’t.)

Nope. He’s the same guy he’s always been. Plotting a coverup of his sex scandals. Firing people who won’t do his dirty work, or lie for his benefit. You know, the usual.

Meanwhile, in Gotham… where Eric Adams is already corrupted by Trump, Andrew Cuomo seeks Trump’s counsel. And adds one of the least-respected consultants in the country to his team of duds, which is sure to make things worse.

But he might not even be the dumbest Cuomo of the day!

On the Jeffrey Epstein front: Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Epstein!

Is there anything that can make this worse? Sure! Woody Allen!

While we’re on the topic of public pervos, there’s still more (mysteriously less-than-disastrous) news about MAGA trainwreck Cory Mills.

Why is this news less than disastrous, anyway? IOKIYAR, as the olds used to say, when they were young.

If we have to keep talking about Jeffrey Epstein, then at least let us hear more Tom Lehrer!

Well, with Greg Dworkin on hand to round up the day’s news, that’s never a problem!

Unless you’re Donald Trump, that is. Because people think that guy sucks! Though it may just be worse given his bad timing. Of course, it could also be, you know, his “policies.” Or his policy of firing people who report statistics indicating that his policies suck. Or pulling out all the stops to rig the system, all while crying loudly that it’s rigged against him. Or just maybe, the leopards he keeps sending to eat his voters’ faces.

Or maybe lots of Republicans are going to “get Flooded” when the time comes, whomever or wherever they may be.

Given how bad the landscape is for Trump and his Republicans, why would any Democrat or independent ever fall into the trap of praising him?

Something happened to “Big Balls.” We’re just not sure exactly what. But we know it’s being used as an excuse for yet another moment of Trump extremism.

But don’t let the extremism distract you from the revisionism! Whether at home or abroad. Really, you can’t miss either the revisionism or the egotism. Soon enough, it’ll be on display before the entire world. Know who else used the same play?

Federal judges are getting fed up, though. And they won’t play. Learn about the “presumption of regularity,” how Trump killed it, and what happens when it’s gone.

It’s No Structure Tuesday, in the Second Trump Era! And a reality TV personality-turned-government official says they’re gonna put a nuclear reactor on the moon. And it wasn’t even the orange one!

That’s the kind of day it’s been.

Wait, here’s something more random and even dumber: Murdery Traitor Greene is lobbying Trump to commute George Santos’ sentence. At just 11 days into a 7+ year stretch.

And if you believe that one, try imagining her leaving the Republican Party. Ha ha! Yeah. Sure, Jan. How could she ever leave when she’s still actively calling for Democrats to be investigated and arrested for… the 2020 election, Epstein, and… January 6th! Democrats!

Pam Bondi, meanwhile, is back to investigating Democrats for… the 2016 election. Some grand jury, somewhere, is purportedly being convened by someone, to investigate… something. You know. Things!

Returning to the lengthy profile of DOGE’s 23-year-old-in-charge-of-erasing-distinguished-careers, others are asking just how many people it can be said this Wunderkind killed. Good job, homeschooling!

On the “international” front, Trump continues to say the world “deals” a lot. Are they “deals,” though? And are “deals” (as Trump defines the word) even a good thing in this context?

Would he know how to evaluate a “good deal” even if he was capable of making one? Does it count if he just makes it all up?

Stay tuned!

I mean, the answer is “no,” but stay tuned to hear us say it some more, anyway.

It’s Monday! That means Greg Dworkin was here. And it means there was a weekend catch-up marathon on Trump’s “volatile side,” via the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup, and another installment in our more-popular-than-the-actual-hosts Tom Lehrer retrospective.

Texas Republicans are redistricting. Yes, again! Or at least trying to. Dems are absenting themselves in order to deny them a quorum. Yes, again! Greg Abbott, meanwhile, says he’s trying to absent them from office.

Trump’s stupid “policies” are starting to make the economy suck, and everybody knows it. So, you have to fire the knowers, or at least the tellers, starting from the top. Just like successful countries like Argentina do. Will that be enough to help MAGA forget about having their faces eaten by leopards?

Perhaps, one day, their children will forget. If they ever have any.

Everybody’s been talking about this blockbuster dissection of a Dem fundraising black hole operation. And everybody’s angry! But you may be pleased to know there’s a plan to make fundraising black holes angry, too.

You thought Greg wasn’t going to say anything about the NYC mayoral race? Duh! They just polled the local space laser enthusiasts, to see what they’re thinking.

You thought Greg wasn’t going to say anything about Epstein? Duh! Well, actually he didn’t. But he meant to! Trump’s hoping a different shiny object will distract people. Only this one’s about Obama, and not everyone thinks that’s so shiny, anymore. But dumbasses do! We’ll never run out of dumbasses!

Not while one of ‘em is president, anyway!

(Remember when I said he was probably choosing Oval Office portraits for the frames, with no idea who was in the paintings? Well, yeah!)