Kagro in the Morning

Shofar so good! David Waldman topped up his atonement over the weekend and returned today, set to talk about lascivious corruption. Lauren Boebert is always ready to lend a hand with a scandal or two or three… several at a time when she's in the mood. Now there's a complaint filed with the U.S. House Committee on Ethics alleging that Boebert had romantic and sexual relationships with three staff members under her direct supervision, paid them to keep quiet, bare-knuckle brawled in bars with them, and then hooked them up with… Matt Gaetz… in Mar-a-Lago. Somewhere, Kyrsten Sinema is blushing. Similarly, Susan Collins... perhaps not "similarly" but we won't be finding that out for certain, now that the FBI has been called off her case. Martin Kao, formally from Martin Defense Group, which was formerly Navatek, might be wondering if his pardon was lost in the mail. Clavicular continues to lay the groundwork for his presidential bid. All-powerful puppet of the last person that he talked to, Donald K. Trump recently banished the free press, but already pines for them, photobombing Zohran Mamdani in New York, while Melania slipped off for a little on the side. Bill Clinton and Barack Obama are semi-privately dismayed.

The vagaries of the lunar calendar has given us a second September Monday away from the microphone, dropping Yom Kippur right at the start of this week. So we'll have to go with a rerun today. I have to begin by asking, "Do you remember the 21st night of September?" Because if you don't, then our September 22, 2025 episode should remind you: David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are out tomorrow for a little R&R… Rosh Hashanah and Rapture. Depending on how that goes, they'll be back on Wednesday! "Autism" was coined in 1911. Acetaminophen was marketed 40 years later. Tylenol hit the market in 1955, one year after RFK Jr. was born... COINCIDENCE? Yes. Just another of the many coincidences that you can point to, that did not cause your child's autism. Not coincidentally, RFK Jr. stock is dropping about as fast as Tylenol's. Jimmy Kimmel is saved by a TACO. Charlie Kirk, meanwhile, is still dead. Not officially a saint, but definitely a martyr for whatever cause a MAGA could imagine. Charlie was a man of steel, just one tiny bit less bullet resistant than Trump but with a heart of gold that Donald will gladly sell to the highest bidder. Trad wife no more, Nepo/DEI hire Erika Kirk discovers that Tyler Robinson was not black, a Dem, a woman or even antifa, so of course she forgives him. Nürnberg vibes filled the air as DJ Stephen Miller spun the hits of yesteryear. Shhh… Donald K. Trump wants the government to destroy his opposition. Well, that's no secret. Trump has wanted that for years. What are you going to do about it, impeach him? ICE breaks present laws and will break any new ones that you throw at them too. Attorneys that don't break laws fast enough get canned in this administration. Don't you just hate Indians and Koreans? No? Maybe you aren't a tech bro. Tech bros hate Indians and Koreans. If there's a particular nationality that you do hate, there's probably a spot for you in this administration. Republicans are beginning to get sick of winning. There's no denying the Trump administration's obsessive attention to detail, at least when it comes to Hollywood-level casting of their cabinet members. Dirty cop Tom Homan should think before ordering the veal or accepting sacks of cash from FBI agents. Good thing he has friends higher up. The US vaporized some more boaters in the Caribbean that they suspect of things. Suspects remain suspects after they are vaporized. Trump suggests that people should hold off on "water fishing" for the time being… maybe take up "fly fishing?"

David Waldman needs some reeeeeeeest! He and we are tired. Sick and tired of winning. David won't be with us for his two favorite holidays, Talk Like a Pirate Day and Yom Kippur, but we are almost certain to return next Tuesday reinvigorated. NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center saved money by throwing out billions of dollars of research, the researchers, and having their unique, specialized equipment auctioned off. DOGE cost-cutting efforts cost the US billions of dollars and millions of lives, and that's just the start. Donald K. Trump will make the US trillions by not buying anything anymore. The Kennedy Center might avoid the shame of having Trump's name carved into it… by being demolished… but even in death the U.S. Institute of Peace's building might not evade desecration. Far-right ideologues have transformed American foreign policy into a tool of private gain and antidemocratic reaction, but once Trump teaches AI to grift for him, he won't need any of them anymore.

David Waldman told Greg Dworkin to go away and come back tomorrow, and he did! Donald K. Trump is not winning and is especially grumpy that Representative Joyce Beatty is a Black woman. That might not be foremost in most minds, but it's been running through Donald's like cyclosporiatic lettuce. Natalie had to print off some Kennedy Center revenge porn to try to cool Trump off, but that just worked him up more. Now, construction barricades are going up as forklifts test the supporting pillars at the Center. Trump believes AI is some sort of hoax, probably created by computers, but Senators on both sides now see AI coming for their jobs much sooner than they expected. Towns that slipped Flock cameras in, are now slipping them back out, while political candidates execute them on camera. They might look American, but they're foreigners on the inside. Gops flee DC chased by Gop Thomas Massie. The Trump administration is having such a difficult time recruiting unqualified, inept attorneys that they might bring back Lindsey Halligan. May the polls always look with favor upon Dems and smite the Gops… but don't rest yet! Gop Maria Elvira Salazar hopped in front of a DC camera to hail Mary. Even Joe Rogan is smart enough to know why Ken Paxton is losing to James Talarico… well, maybe not, but hopefully his listeners are. Canada might rebound from its abusive relationship with America and into the arms of another, or who knows, they might play the field for a while. They better get a restraining order first. Saudi Arabia FAFO, and there's more from where that came from.

David Waldman gets us to the middle of the week, and Greg Dworkin has GOT the polls! Polls really do mean something after Labor Day… Or is that when they become meaningless? Either way, polls are just numbers, a snapshot in time, a glance at the past rather than the future, not a prognostication, no guarantee... but darn it, they feel so nice… Polls don't mean a thing if they ain't got that swing. Even the Gop vote amid the biggest dweebs in 60 years seems to be sliding away from them. A fake $5 thousand won't buy Gop votes, although Sam Alito probably gets more than that. You don't need polls to understand where voters stand on AI & Flock, yet Dems are still afraid to run with that issue. Nonetheless, E. "No-Trump" Hansen found it difficult to be a single-issue candidate. Gop Tom Emmer will sell you ground beef for $2 a pound if you don't mind it's cut with bullshit. Thomas Massie introduced articles of impeachment against Pete Hegseth… 8 articles, 34 pages, over an hour. Massie surprised his Gop bosses yesterday, so it was no surprise when Gops shut the place down today. They were finished rolling Mitch around anyhow. The House passed their War Powers Resolution, again and again, including the votes of a handful of Republicans. Donald K. Trump brokers peace in his mind with Putin and Zelensky. This puts him way ahead of SIL Jared Kushner, who still needs to actually travel and meet with the people screwing him in deals. Saudi Arabia bought every Trump they could find and still have buyer's remorse. Dr. Abdul El-Sayed could not debate one of the loser Gop Mikes, because that Gop Mike is a loser. Rudy Giuliani wanted to debate him but only had the courage to tweet.

David Waldman takes us halfway through September! The leaves are beginning to change, the Senate is wheeling in its potted plants, and the last impeachments of summer flock to DC. Ok, this impeachment effort did not last long. But don't give up on learning your Latin law phrases! As long as Donald K. Trump and crew continue to shock the conscience of (most of) the American people, there will be the need for justice. A federal judge ruled that Donald has to keep his filthy name off the Kennedy Center. Expect Trump to cut a 350-yard gash in it some night soon. Trump's very own Supreme Court can't bring itself to destroy voting by mail… yet. Federal Agents might have broken state laws searching for voter fraud. Elon Musk tries to violate some voting law every day. Trump becomes a little smaller with each passing day. So does JD Vance. Meanwhile, Jared Kushner becomes the world's most successful diplomat, if you measure success with money, as he does.

50 days until the midterms, probably! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don't spare a minute of the 155 they offer you today to keep you up-to-the-minute on the news. Donald K. Trump guesses that there's more important things in life than being adored, but he can't imagine what that would be. Therefore, he's doing as much as he can to get everyone to hate him. He's doing a fabulous job. Outside of the cult, Trumpism is now discredited, and every poll is a little more blue each day. Of course, the Gop and friends are pitching in where they can. Dan Sullivan retired halfway in his debate with Mary Peltola. Roger Marshall started his debate losing but really got the crowd going with an RFK Jr.name drop. Voters hated Ted Cruz long before Trump came around and will hate him when Trump goes away. Sure, James Talarico is doing great, but you got to give some credit to Ken Paxton and his crew. Texas Gop Bo French seems like he's in a league of his own... though he really isn't. Bo is determined to rid Texas of all people darker than him, and any Jewish people regardless of shade. French finally crossed the line however, by picking on University of Texas football. A Trump Judge™ has partially blocked the Postal Service's mail-ballot rules ahead of the midterms. Donald Trump Jr.'s latest wedding is sponsored by Russian oligarch Umar Kremlev. Russian friends are the best! While MAGA makes the world safe for corruption, The SNP, Sinn Fein and Plaid Cymru UK-exit, just as Donald hoped to see them bow and scrape some more. A gender war has exploded in Utah over the courts, abortion and representation. Gops are solving it by getting rid of the women.

You probably won't believe this, but something super-dumb and un-American happened last night at the fake Republican jamboree, and Trump was the one doing it. But while Trump was busy coercing personal pledges of loyalty from everyone in the room, JD Vance was seeding the New York Times with stories about how he was secretly against the Iran war the whole time. It's probably an eyeliner solidarity thing with ancient Persia. That's my guess. It hasn't cost him his seat at the table just yet, but not so "fortunate," of late were Maria Bartiromo, Joe DiGenova, and Ed Martin. Emptywheel had more to say, in her style, about DiGenova. The Daily Beast, too! Just in time for the weekend, what I think is the latest on the Missouri map morass, plus some more asses (like this one) trying to make it worse, attempting to impeach the Chief Justice of the state supreme court. In the same vein, more ass-wise, Trump's DOJ is threatening state elections officials for not complying with orders rejected by some 30 courts nationwide. All while playing both sides of the fence on mail-in ballots, both pointing to existing "error" rates in ballot processing and attempting to guarantee even more errors by trying to ram through Trump's wish list on ten minutes notice. As with most dumb things, you can't talk Trump out of it, but you might be able to just wait for him to forget. Another Republican has discovered the existence of a problem in the only way they can: experiencing it themselves. This time it's the Trade War on Canada being bad for a "red" state. For your weekend reading: We always knew "temporary" price increases due to the COVID pandemic would never be ratcheted back. But we might not have guessed that the rate at which prices would increase afterward would increase at an even steeper rate.

David Waldman reviews day one of Trumpapalooza. David, of course, saw none of it as no one did. Joining him today is KITM's very own Greg Dworkin. Greg usually tows in a raft o' stories, however today it was a steaming scow of fetid X-links. If you have the time, try plugging each poster's name into Blue Sky and you'll likely get the same post with the benefit of easier sleep tonight. The Gop midterm convention offered the usual homoerotic bible-beating delusions, but there were fewer takers coming in wanting to be taken. Donald K. Trump always saves money on his bribes by only bribing stupid people. Donald wants voters to pretend he's on the ballot, and that's just what the people not showing up were already picturing. Trump's get out the vote efforts are working wonders for the Democratic party. Just ask Ken Paxton, who makes Trump throw up a little every time he has to look at him. By the way, John Fetterman is an irritation, but just not worth the trouble. If polls could vote, they would likely be voting for Democrats. Here's what Texas voters think. Here's what Jewish voters think. It will be nice if the voting works out similarly to the polling. Former candidate, soon to be former Gop Representative, Chuck Edwards got a swift censure kick to the ass on his way out the door. This election, Republicans testify in Democratic ads and write op-eds against other Republicans, even if they are their brother. Trump isn't the only one who hates Ken Paxton. Voters want to halt data centers in a desperate, perhaps futile bid against AI, Flock cameras, and the encroachment of surveillance technologies. Your "smart TV" is an obvious suspect, and you should probably be taking steps right now to make it dumber. Don't worry about your Waymo however, that's just some guy in the Philippines staring at you. A "military aide" is taking the blame for a multi-person error on Trump's Qatari bribe plane. Oh well, it could have been worse, or better. Old school progressives out there who still have little brown diesel station wagons… like me… are still paying their dues.

David Waldman has another show for us this week! What did Delaware? Greg Dworkin won't say. It's after Labor Day though, and everybody wants to know, now that there's little that can be done about it. Who Rhode Island? Helena Foulkes incumbent Dan McKee. Voters demand new names yet prefer old last names on their ballots. Whose New Hampshire? Stefany Shaheen, and Pappas vs. Sununu for the Senate. Dems are messing with Gop Texan's vibes, while Iowa Trump nothing. Misery for Missouri as dueling court rulings leave Missouri's congressional races in chaos. Purcell that! In Kentucky, the state elections officer denying a judge her reelection bid happens to be the guy who gets her job. Donald K. Trump sugared up the ladies on his staff with$45 thousand each… Sorry, not you Susie. Donald leaked a map of his share of the world gifted to him by Vlad and Xi, and it turns out that Thorgerdur wasn't told yet… Bibi knew, though. Bibi has known the whole time. In Germany, the Alternative for Germany ends up being porn, Stasi, and ethnic cleansing, exactly the platform Trump plans to introduce at his upcoming convention.