David Waldman and Greg Dworkin tell us all about some of the crazy things that happened.

Winning! Donald K. Trump wants to remind everyone of his many huge successes over the last 6 months, and his HUGE hands. And his unceasing admiration and respect for the Indigenous peoples of the Americas. And the scandal-plagued Obama administration, along with Barack Hussein’s many felonies.

But not Jeffery Epstein. Donald does not want to remind anyone that his name is in the Epstein files. or how and why his name got into the Epstein files. Or how he tried to cover up his appearance in the Epstein files. But you know, if people want to cry about how he’s a corrupt pervert, Trump is certainly capable of giving them something new to cry about.

44% believe they will be worse off in a year, yet may not grasp how much worse off they’ll be in a week. Some have only begun to realize just how much worse off they are now.

On the other hand, Andrew Cuomo thinks there might be a little too much success in New York City. Zohran Mamdani promises to not say the thing he never said.

Alina Habba had a rough start, but her trajectory is now smoothing out into a steep dive. He was Trump’s pick for US Attorney in Albany, but it turns out that John A. Sarcone III is only “acting”.

David Waldman takes us to the edge of the week but can’t keep us from falling into the weekend.

Bawdy? Is that what we’re calling it?  Jeffery Epstein, who could be considered naughty, and kind of affiliated, was never known to have had a shortage of close personal friends.  His 50th birthday party had a great turnout of sincere well-wishers, including Donald K. Trump, who was both his best friend for over a dozen years, and hardly even knew him, in fact barely even met him outside of the hundreds of times that they hung out. So, of all of the ribald birthday wishes Jeff received, the one from Donald is definitely the one Donald did not write, and did not sign, and especially did not write a picture on. Donald does not write pictures.

You know that things must be out of control if Trump is releasing medical information into the news cycle. Trump’s socks look like he rotates his filled Depends there, but officially he has “Chronic Venous Insufficiency” which technically describes that Trump’s brains have fallen into his shoes. It would also explain his feeble Epstein distraction brought to you by Coca-Cola. Luckily for Trump, CBS threw him a big lifeline by firing Steven Colbert. The only thing that could delight Trump more would be having Jimmy Kimmel eaten by an alligator.

Great news! AI Chatbots have been telling their billionaire investors that they will be earning trillions of dollars soon and that those checks will start pouring in, in about two weeks.

It’s Thursday, so David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are both here to roll up their sleeves and help Trump dig any hole he’s digging today.

The Radical Left Democrats have hit pay dirt, again! Donald K. Trump wants to move on from the Jeffery Epstein case. He needs everyone to quit talking about Jeffery Epstein. He is telling you to quit speculating about Jeffery Epstein and him. He is demanding that everyone just stop thinking about Jeff and him and those girls. Stop it, now. Just shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP! Why won’t they all shut up?

Elon Musk warned you… Well, so did everyone else for about thirty years. Now Trump has baskets of his own deplorables to deal with.

In the unenviable crux betwixt Jeffery Epstein and Sean Combs is Maurene Comey. No one who visits there is left unscrewed, and because of her last name, neither did Maurene. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi, served up Comey to cheer up the boss, at least for the moment. Along with the attorney general’s own ethics adviser go any people who could rat out or otherwise inconvenience any Justice Department thuggery and/or henching. 

So far, the Trump administration has not figured out how to send migrants to fictional countries, but they may have to, as there are so few that meet our evil criteria.

ICE soldiers haven’t taken fire axes to voting machines… yet... so, elections persist. Abigail Spanberger is coming right up the center in Virginia, with some of the way cleared by the giant sucking Trump effect. Meanwhile the Mamdani effect is being felt all the way out in Arizona, although there is a lot to be said for heritage and experience.

In Isreal, the Council of Torah Sages declares war on Netanyahu’s coalition for making them non-exempt from military service.

It’s a good thing Greg Dworkin had a lot of links today. Because there was a lot to say, even if there were only a very few topics most people were talking about. And by that, we mean Jeffrey Epstein, and the fact that Donald Trump was his very good friend, because they were both giant perverts.

No one’s buying the Trump administration’s story. I mean, like, no one.

Not the Trump-supporting Speaker of the House.

Not ultra-Trump-supporting rank & file members of Congress.

Not the grifters who came up on the Trump coattails.

Not the grifters positioning themselves to usurp the coat itself.

Not the high-information, liberal voters who might be using it to troll low-information voters.

Not even the low-information voters themselves, who don’t care about anything.

Maybe he’s just used up all the quarters he had lined up for his brainwashing machine. Whatever the reason, he’s now got MAGA & the Republican party splintered over this thing he seems determined to insist everyone should ignore.

But wait! Maybe Trump can save his presidency with substantive accomplishments on the policy side!

Hahahahahaha! Ohhhhh, man! Hey, just kidding, folks! Ha ha! That was a good one! No, there’s no hope for that! And the midterm political outlook is only set to get worse, even if the policy itself somehow doesn’t. But it is getting worse!

Oh well, at least there’s Elon Musk’s third party. Hahahaha! Gotcha again!

Meanwhile, this coverup isn’t even the worst thing Pam Bondi is doing with her time.

Well, we have time for one more subject. By which I mean about an hour. How about the NYC mayoral race, where we’re looking at voters in the 40s and 50s. No, not by age. By net approve/disapprove! (OK, but also by age.) In fact, how about the NYC mayoral race, and how some people are so consumed by it, that they think it has bearing on the outcome of totally unrelated races, thousands of miles away.

David Waldman is here to Tuesday the heck out of this KITM.

The Supreme Court was feeling cute last night and thought they’d delete the separation of powers. That Nixon was such a loser.

Congratulations also go to Trump for winning his 5th golf championship in since inauguration, 10 weeks ago. Just one of the many of his latest great successes, depending on how one looks at things. One thing is still missing on his signature blue suit, however. Medals. Like Florida Gop Cory Mills’ Bronze Star, but maybe a dozen or so gold ones. That’d be cool. Meanwhile, Cory’s landlord is accusing him of not paying $85,000 in rent. Can Mills help it if he didn’t bill him correctly?

Donald does become a little smaller each day, therefore he shut down airports in a 200-mile radius in order to pretend to be a World Cup player and “accept” their trophy… and a medal… and probably the silverware at the banquet and the toilet paper from his restroom stall. Hey, it’s what all the tin-pot dictators do when they tire of tin pots.

Blame Jeffery Epstein. He’s the guy who got Trump on his gold kick, among other things. Democrats and Kevin Spacey would like to know more, but you know how prim and demure Republicans can be. Barack Obama started compiling his forged Epstein list during his early teens, as will be revealed to all in around two weeks

The US has imposed a 17% duty on fresh Mexican tomatoes (purportedly) in hopes of “boosting domestic production” … First of all, Donald K. Trump doesn’t do anything for the good of anything. Second, we are deporting/terrorizing/imprisoning all of our skilled farm workers. Third, everyone knows that you couldn’t treat white folks like that.  Fourth, you also don’t mess with tomatoes, as they are some litigious SOBs.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin follow another Trump Weekend™ with another Monday KITM! YAY!

QAnon was right — THEY don’t want you to know! Imagine MAGA’s surprise, and everyone else’s lack of surprise, when “They” turned out to be Trump. Trump’s Epstein cover-up (The latest cover-up, that is, as Trump has covered for Epstein forever.) could tear apart MAGA as a portion of them actually believe what they’ve been saying, and for most of them, this issue is the most complex that they are prepared to handle. Heads must roll, and that never means Trump. Therefore, Ghislaine Maxwell is making certain that all of her prison security cameras are in tiptop condition today. Dan Bongino was too undisclosed to clock into work this morning. That leaves Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, who has just fired her personal ethics chief. Kash Patel threatens to show up even less at work if Pam stays.

Eight men were told that they were being sent to Louisiana but ended up in Djibouti. Following the orders of armed masked men never turns out well. Kristi Noem expects that more bureaucracy, more paperwork, more delays and more inefficiencies will lead to more government savings. Fewer survivors equal even more savings. Of course, in central Texas, a functioning government equals Communism. In New York City, voters see things differently.

David Waldman stares into the abyss of our next Trump weekend, but first, screams into the void of Trump Friday.

Distinguished Professor and author Ian Reifowitz returns to KITM discuss his BRAND-NEW BOOK, “Riling Up the Base: Examining Trump’s Use of Stereotypes through an Interdisciplinary Lens.”  Buy this book, and not only will you be the hippest person on your beach, but you will also gain a thorough understanding of how Trump’s use of stereotypes relating to immigration, race/ethnicity, and gender somehow keeps that jerk in power.

Ian also argues that Democrats have drifted from Obama’s unifying vision of America and need to reclaim Obama’s inclusive, aspirational message to win again.

Tom Homan reminds us that the less you look like Tom Homan, the higher your chance of having many bad things happen to you in the United States.

With AI, you can look like anyone and say anything.

Foreign leaders are under the mistaken impression that as long as their lips remain on Donald K. Trump’s ass, they’re safe. To Vietnam’s surprise, Donald informed them they hadn’t used enough tongue.

Greg Dworkin heard from a friend that they have a friend whose other friend says that Vladimir Putin doesn’t want to go out with Donald Trump anymore. Or maybe vice versa. Anyway, somebody is gonna be upset over the resumption of arms shipments to Ukraine. Could be Trump. Certainly will be Putin. Might also be Hegseth!

The eyes of Texas (and everywhere else) are still upon “Flash Flood Alley,” so they’ll have to get their story straight (and tell it to the judge) about whether they do or don’t have an emergency alert system, and if so, whether they did or didn’t use it. They certainly should have one. After all, they’re now acknowledging that extreme weather incidents are human-caused. Sort of.

The national obsession over the New York City mayoral election continues, mostly because Zohran Mamdani’s sizeable lead in the polls continues. The Adams camp is making some… unusual choices for managing the campaign. Or at least, someone is making them for them. Anyway, the political scientists have a heads up for you, if you’ve been wondering where the winning coalition would come from.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump has opened up (even) dumb(er) new frontiers in his “Trade Wars,” this time with the largest coffee producer in the world and second-most-populous country in the Western Hemisphere: Brazil. And they don’t like it. But they are also not as dumb, as anyone can plainly see.

Dumber still, but even more frightening, Trump continues to use vast federal powers to prosecute his personal gripes. We heard the other day about his insistence that “investigations” be opened into former FBI Director James Comey and former CIA Director John Brennan. Now we learn that… for some strange reason… the Secret Service decided to tail Comey on his way back from his beach vacation, then haul him in for questioning over that “86 47” message he wrote out in seashells.

And it looks like they have the same and more planned for Chris Wray, too. You know, the FBI Director Trump picked after he fired Comey.

David Waldman returns for the Wednesday KITM and look who he brought — Greg Dworkin! Greg asks, where are the Evangelicals? Well, not out doing God’s work, that’s for sure.

Donald K. Trump, who lies a lot, lied a lot at his cabinet meeting yesterday. Ric Grenell and Marco Rubio art of the dealed each other out of prisoner swaps in El Salvador. (Marco’s AI imposter could do a better job.) Pete (Hic!) seth held back arms to Ukraine but left boss Trump out of the chat. That’s ok, Donald’s boss never listens to him either. Kimberly Guilfoyle could’ve been First Lady, twice, but will settle for a big fat Greek ambassadorship. Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn’t seem to know that much, but that’s only because she’s an idiot. Marge clearly does her research.

Trump thought all this Jeffery Epstein nonsense was killed in its jailcell and cremated long ago, but no, just like some drugged 13-year-old girl, they just can’t seem to let it go. Meanwhile, in the midst of a tragic disaster in Texas, reporters have the bad taste to show disrespect for inept public servants. Sirens would have helped, as would even a timely text.

The Bayeux Tapestry travels from France to Britain for the first time in history, but you can look at it on your phone.

UVA president James E. Ryan threw himself in front of the Trump Train to save his university, and its grant structure.

The FBI investigates the FBI for its associations with other FBI members as if they were the Stasi.

Trump tariffs are going to make copper more expensive here than almost anywhere. 

He’s LIVE! David Waldman has been keeping his opinions to himself for DAYS... and he can barely take it any longer. Thank goodness we’re here!

Trump’s loyalist army, ICE, now better funded than the Russian army, liberated MacArthur Park in LA... all the sweet green icing flowing down. Oh nooooo...

Jeffery Epstein? No, that name doesn’t ring a bell over at the White House. Trump is due to claim that Joe Biden and Elon Musk created Jeff in AI. Ghislaine Maxwell, call your lawyer.

Ted (Vacation) Cruz doesn’t mind Texas but seems to hate the weather. Donald says not to blame him for the Texas floods, as it’s all God’s fault. (God must be wondering why He was dumb enough to choose him again.) Trump is due to claim that Joe Biden and Elon Musk created the flood in AI.

Donald K. Trump believes Ukraine is real, sometimes. Is China spying on us through TikTok? Trump might believe that, but he does not believe in any laws that restrict it, or any laws for that matter.

Trump tariffs are back on! Or they’re back off! What, don’t you believe him? Crazy Don is making crazy deals! Everyone’s invited to our Open House, no reasonable offer refused! 90 days, same as cash!

How can Abrego Garcia become a figment of our imagination, if US courts won’t let him disappear? El Salvador now claims that it was only paid to imprison, torture and eventually kill people sent to them, nothing was said about “legal responsibility”. Whether it’s shipping prisoners to Sudan, the Alien Enemies Act, or Birthright Citizenship, Trump just needs only one break to take the whole system down.

Elon Musk had his Big Balls cut off, so instead of buying one of his stupid cars, he thought you might just want to send him money. (Wouldn’t it be more fun if Elon spent a billion or two on private investigators?)