David Waldman and Greg Dworkin will be allowed to speak on their own behalf today. Annnd they’re rounding the bend! It’s Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis, neck and neck heading into Iowa! Now that Chris Christie is out, that race is up for grabs! Gops finely tuned to every nuanced policy detail and scrupulously balancing every gradated point reached their somber conclusions, and it looks like it’s Nikki’s to lose! (Although Donald Trump does maintain a slim lead.) Baby Jesus could personally smite Donald Trump on live TV and he’d still have a lock on the nomination. Little things like what Donald says or does will have little bearing, until hopefully the general election. Things that Donald says and does do matter to courts of law, however. Judge Engoron carefully described the terms under which he would permit Trump to deliver a closing argument. Trump’s lawyers then trolled Engoron for a day or so, finally acquiescing to... LOL! JK! Donald is a 4-year-old at Denny’s. You don’t shut him up, you carry him out. Ron DeSantis needs to go back home and take responsiblity for his staff choices. A Moms for Liberty member… no, not the anti-LGBTQ leg on the marital Eiffel tower… and not the teen speakeasy fight club mom… a new one... was caught shoplifting at Target. Did the House Oversight Committee subpoena Taylor Swift yet?

Kagro in the Morning - January 11, 2024

News, politics and commentary from Daily Kos Contributing Editor David Waldman

News

Politics

News Commentary

David Waldman is surprised as you are that it’s already Monday. Greg Dworkin remains on “Assignment”… or “Sabbatical”... or maybe “Hiatus” (The names of his fishing boats) in search of the perfect Raft O’Stories™ to haul in on this Wednesday. Meanwhile, Greg tells us of Israel's internal infighting, which doesn’t quite have the bodycount of their external fighting, but it is still quite messy. Joe Biden gave the commencement speech at Morehouse College, which emphasized the values of faith and democracy. Of course, some people hate those things. Some prefer faith versus democracy. Iran’s President’s helicopter technically failed to maintain a safe distance from surrounding terrain on Sunday, also subsequently did Iran’s President, Ebrahim Raisi. The trial of the most stupid-dangerous dotard in history continues, much to the surprise of Fox News viewers. A Gop Texas school board member heard all about schools indoctrinating kids. Imagine her surprise at finding out it was all false, and how she now had to start watching her back. Samuel Alito is but a simple country Supreme Court justice, who doesn’t understand your big city “flags” or “stock transactions”. Stocks, flags, emails… that’s the little lady’s business. NYU legal ethicist Stephen Gillers’ not-so-taut tautology explains that Sam Alito could never because Sam Alito would never.  Rudy Colludy Giuliani got exactly what he had been asking for on his birthday, although Rudy had hoped that the whole jumping out of the cake bit would have been a little less gauche. NYC Mayor Eric Adams won’t take the city’s AI chatbot down until everybody gets the joke.

Kagro in the Morning - May 20, 2024

Why not start a Friday with weird sports news? But not just any weird sports news. Political sports news! A guy who is a genuine NFL player, albeit a kicker, has said some things. They were meant to be pretty conservative, especially with regard to gender roles, and he thought his views would be at home at a Catholic college. But nuns actually work for a living. We may never know who’s right about this dust-up as between the cops and a top pro golfer. But then again, not every story has a right side, you know? What’re you gonna do? Justice Alito would, for some reason, like you to think he has nothing whatsoever to do with flying the flag outside of his home. Oh, also, flying it upside-down. Anyway, his wife totally did it, he says. And because journalists love to tell you why things matter, here are some other reasons why that matters. Have you ever wondered what you would see if you could beam into a Trumpified future? Well, how about seeing the present in Israel and the West Bank? Granted, it could take you a long time to take it all in. But what if you could get the critical points in just a few minutes? Why, then you’d really have a distressing lens through which to view the crumbling of Western-style democracy! Not sure if that’s actually what you’re viewing? Well, what if American proto-fascists just started pardoning pro-fascist murderers? House Republicans are so eager to come to the NYC courthouse and kiss the ring that they’re leaving their “majority” unguarded. But they managed to cobble one together in time for a futile gesture toward Israel. Meanwhile, their Very Strong Leader is already looking to get out of the debates he bragged about agreeing to yesterday. Do you know about New Caledonia? You do now. On the good news side of the ledger: Hooray for the CFPB and active governance! And for scales falling from eyes!

Kagro in the Morning - May 17, 2024

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin make it to the end of (Greg's) week! Unless you’re Greg, or need to get to Barron’s graduation, you still need to show up tomorrow. Michael Cohen, former fixer for Donald Trump, is fixing him good for his third day of testimony, his second under cross examination by crying little shit Todd Blanche. We are close to the finish line now, so close that Judge Merchan might resist the temptation to jail Trump for his contemptuous gang of surrogates outside the courthouse. If you thought that it was awful when Mike Johnson and his crew took wrecking balls to our justice system Tuesday, just see what they can do in the hands of Lauren Bobert! Nobody can gag Lauren! The dozen of Americans hesitant to make their decision between the two 2024 presidential candidates before they got to know them better, can rest easy as two debates have been scheduled.  Pollsters crunch those numbers behind their increasing incompetency polling non-whites. Election news: Jan. 6 felony rioter Derrick Evans lost his Gop primary.  Bethany “Grandma Killer” Mandel lost in her campaign for school board in Maryland, for which she ran as a Democrat. Gop Courtney Gore won her school board slot, then repented after she had discovered that she campaigned on lies. Mitt Romney takes the lead in the parade of Republicans demanding that Biden pardon Trump in 2025. Rudy Giuliani is probably still alive, which would be a major hitch in his plan to escape massive fines and jail time. 21 men have been trapped for weeks on the container ship that crashed into Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge with virtually no access to porn. Happily, the crew has been supplied with SIM cards and temporary phones for the duration. The US military has secured its floating pier to Gaza, finally allowing Gazans access to food and supplies and Israeli settlers to push more Palestinians into the sea. Does Trump hope to be our Orbán, Berlusconi or Netanyahu? One thing is certain: Chaya Raichik is our American Itamar Ben-Gvir.

Kagro in the Morning - May 16, 2024

On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin announce that we are right. In fact, it turns out that we were correct all along! The People of the State of New York v. Orange J. Turd takes their Wednesday break today. Yesterday, Trump’s backup singers arrived well rehearsed to all sing the same tune outside the courthouse. Imagine their embarrassment when Tommy Tuberville wanted to join in. Tag team porn watcher Mike Johnson missed his chance to get Stormy’s autograph, but as second in line to the presidency, felt a responsibility to crap on democracy and the U.S. system of justice. Inside the courthouse, Trump defense attorney Todd Blanche apparently thought that his job was to start a bar fight so Donald could slip out the back. All Todd did was remind everyone of the precise reason they were all there.  Even Ed Koch showed up to give Trump a kick in the pants. Other former New York Mayor Rudy Colludy Giuliani probably wishes that he could be sitting right next to Mr. Koch at this very moment. So, Donald Trump is a little ahead in some of the polls. So what!  Why believe those polls, when you can imagine them being better? Why believe polls that you don’t like when there are so many nice polls to look at? For instance, 1 in 5 Republicans voted against Trump in Nebraska and Maryland, instead voting for Nikki Haley, who isn’t even running for anything! Well in November they have to vote for somebody, don’t they? Well maybe not… but it could be for Joe, right? Look at the polls for the Democratic primary in Maryland. David Trone was ahead the entire time, until he wasn’t. That has to tell you something, doesn’t it? Dahlia Lithwick continues to describe how the Supreme Court decides upon laws, then looks for reasons that they are correct in their decision.

Kagro in the Morning - May 15, 2024

David Waldman takes The KITM House off of double-secret probation to allow  Joan McCarter to visit a while. Good news for Donald Trump! That IRS audit has finally been completed, and Trump will be able to share his tax returns from now on. Michael Cohen (the one who is not the other one) returned to the “Von ShitzinPantz”, or if you prefer, the “Orange Turd” trial. Today was Mike Johnson’s turn to be Trump’s contempt ventriloquist puppet. Mike is an example of those kind of puppets that work by going up their opperator’s backside. Johnson is doing this to impress MAGA. He’s not, but that’s OK, because it’s Democrats who are keeping him in his job. Marjorie Taylor Greene is still determined to pull Mike off the cliff with her. The Israel-Palestine conflict is a tale of horrible villains and horrific victims, told over and over and over again. It’s also a tale of the sole democracy in the Middle East... a story wearing a bit thin. FreedomWorks had become unworkable, and is now inoperative. Oh-oh! Vice President Kamala Harris was caught cussing! That’s not Vice Presidential behavior, now is it? Originalism is how Right-wing activist judges rewrite the law. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that Ottawa county keeps ousting Ottawa Impact screwballs.

Kagro in the Morning - January 11, 2024

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