Kagro in the Morning - October 31, 2023

Horrors! David Will-o'-the-Wisp Waldman, dressed as “MAGA Mike” and Joan Macabre McCarter as a “Looming Government Shutdown”, scare the bejeebers out of us for two hours. Mike Johnson is going full MAGA on Democrats, but also Senate Republicans and Ukraine with his Israel funding bill. After picking up a Bible, Mike realized the ONE THING that has caused all of the evil and suffering in the world and… could it be… Satan? Nope, it’s actually all due to women who won’t listen to their husbands… or potential husbands... or guys who should be their husband. Mike’s wife obviously knows what’s good for her, and clearly what’s wrong with you. Johnson is set to start sacrificing heretics this week. Democrats, meanwhile, still play by the rules. They just need to go deep to find and use the rules they need. Hey, what happened to that recession we were promised? Ron DeSantis claimed that he ran guns out of Florida to Israel, which is a weird, easily disprovable lie and probably illegal. Is Ron acting a little too big for his britches? Nah, Ron probably wears lifts in his britches too. West Michigan is about a step away from erecting statues to MAGA terrorists.