You need to feel the heartbeat of the team.One of my favourite conversations with the brilliant Katie Alder, the captain of Wasps Ladies.I loved hearing Katie talking about leadership and her role as captain.  I think society has changed and the typical leaders of the past, loud, lead by being vocal, this is definitely changing as society does.  Katie talks so well about understanding her teammates and knowing what makes them tick.Beware the quiet ones!How can this relate to parenting and teaching?  Well it goes without saying that we differentiate work to suite the children that we teach, so that everyone has the same chance of succeeding and achieving success within the lesson.  From a behaviour perspective, shouting all the time does not, work, but giving choices, making lessons fun and knowing the children you teach or parent is vital.  With my daughters, I know exactly what they love, sometimes I will use this as an incentive, but also when doing some homework, or playing in the garden, thinking about what makes them tick and planning around this helps so much.  Praise, positive feedback, praise those behaviours you want to see more of.Katie talked about a really close match, which her team lost, but gave everything!  This then helps the team to reflect, as effort is something you can control and nobody can take that away from you.  My eldest has struggled with fractions this week and has got quite anxious about Maths.  I've supported her this week, helping her to understand the ways to work the sums out (even though I found them tough myself, she's only 7!!), but the resounding message I wanted to get across to her was that you can only ever do your best.  If you tell me that it's hard but you have tried your best, then I will be so proud of you, but if you haven't and give up, or choose a way out, then I will be dissapointed.My Dad's favourite message to me growing up "you only get out, what you put in."  It has stuck with me ever since.

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