"You'll understand when you're older" - the golden phrase of all parents to convince their children to stay in commitments long beyond their enjoyment. Piano, sports, debate ; the list of activities that the dream child partakes in extends long past any material wishlist. And here we are, older and(debatably)wiser. Now let's see if we understand. Let's talk about the role that we attribute to parents to a child's success, defining and reframing failure, and the role of parenting in AAPI culture.