Psalm 23 is one of the most familiar passages in the Bible, but when I read the translation with the phrase "I have what I need," it first felt like salt in the wound and then it felt like a promise. I thought what I needed was other things, like my husband home, my kids to sleep, friends. Turns out, this little chapter taught me there is something much bigger going on.

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When it comes to military marriage, we are in it together, we said yes to the military life when we said yes to them. But also at the same time there is so much of this life that we do independently of each other, away from each other.

There are huge chunks of our life that the other doesn’t see, and it's hard to understand what you don’t know.

What begins as an inability to understand each other can instead serve as an invitation to an even stronger marriage.

I’ll show you what I mean. Listen in.

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Turns out, being honest with ourselves and naming what we are actually having to go through is super helpful. Because after that? Can come some adjustments. Maybe in expectations, schedule, or even simply awareness of what is on your plate right now. The awareness has the potential to lead to something that feels revolutionary: Kindness to your own self. Listen in, I'll show you how to get there.

Another episode related to this: Episode 4, Take Care of Your Own Self

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The military life requires us to begin again so frequently, and it can be hard to rebuild friendships so often. If you feel lonely in this life, I have a tool for you in this episode that can help you feel more connection in your life.

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I’ve noticed that my ability to handle what we go through in the military has a direct relation to how connected I feel to Lane at that moment.

If we’re in this together, what do I do when I don’t feel in it together?

I don't know exactly what is going on in your military marriage right now, but what I do know is the stressors that military marriages are under.

I made a huge shift towards my husband a few years ago, and it has been a game-changer in our marriage.

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When life seems too big or too overwhelming, remembering short phrases that are true and good might be exactly what we need. When faced with the largest of pain, the most stress, what if instead of reaching for more of something, what if we went small and used our simple words to connect ourselves back to God.

If you need some encouragement on how to talk to God in the stress of military life, listen in.

These are the verses Sarah mentioned in this episode:

Colossians 1:17

1 John 4:16

Hebrews 12:2

John 15:5

Psalm 23:1

Psalm 91

Psalm 116:7

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As a military community, I think one of the biggest common denominators among us is that we all know what it feels like to be lonely. In the transient military lifestyle, we need to be the new girl so often, start over in one form or another so frequently, that loneliness and the longing for connection becomes a very familiar feeling. Loneliness is a tender topic, one without formulas to follow or sometimes even a solution, though I do offer some ideas and things to consider. Know that you’re not alone, find encouragement here.

For another kind guide on loneliness, Emily P. Freeman's episode served me well- listen to her on The Next Right Thing Episode 114: Welcome Your Loneliness.

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We are military wives but also real human persons who need to take care of our own needs too. Sometimes though, because of the pace of this life and the hard things we deal with, those real human needs can be ignored. It's time to evaluate how you fill yourself back up so that you can take care of the many other things you need to take care of too, and live this life well.

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I’ve learned I don’t have to let the circumstances of military life determine how I’m doing on the inside. I might not be able to control a lot of our military life, but I can control whether I react in kindness or bitterness, anger or calm. If you feel like you are constantly adjusting to what has happened to you as a result of this military life, we work through that in this episode with some stories, some practices, some ways to approach this wild military life in a way where you feel strong, capable, and full of love and courage no matter what is going on.

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I learned that in order to live this hard military life well, I had to let myself be known by friends who were in it with me and had to allow myself to admit when I wasn’t doing okay. And now, I have become the person that I needed in our early years in the military. As you think back to your first experiences in this military life, what was it that you needed? How can you become that for someone else? Military life is an opportunity and an invitation to connection. I have some ideas for how you can build that in your own life.

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