Keeping Them Safe

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This episode considers why it is important for all of us to take some responsibility for creating safe environments for our children and ourselves. It looks at how the professional community has responded to a mandate from the 1993 US Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect and what's missing in their efforts. We also look at our Keeping Them Safe is a response to the mandate and why its' important for all of us to become Alert Adults. You are invited to check out what it looks like to become an Alert Adult by watching the short video at keepingthemsafe.net. 

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Programs for children are designed to empower them to resist the overtures of a predator. They teach children to say "No!", run away and tell somebody when another scares them or makes them uncomfortable. This episode considers that the opportunity of programs for children could and possibly should be expanded to teach them how to establish and enforce personal boundaries in a world that expects them to be "polite" all the time. 

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This episode includes a Rachel Stanton, LCSW, who works with this particularly vulnerable population who talks with Sharon about what it means to these kids when we do our job as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and responsible adults to ensure a safe environment.  If you are interested in contacting Rachel directly, please use this link:  https://emdrintensivesboston.com/. 

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In this episode we look at what it is to be an "expert" and examine whether predators are "experts" in seducing our children. We also look at what it takes to become experts at identifying the risky behaviors that threaten the safety of our children and particularly look at the risks from other children.

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As a society we are prone to "label" everything and everyone. Just think about the forms you fill out that ask you to check a box to say whether you are "married," "single," "widowed," or "divorced." Whichever box you mark labels you as a certain thing and you are then related to as that. This episode shares some ideas about the impact of labels on both those who have been molested and those who have been accused and invites us to consider letting go of labels and relating to the people as just that - people. 

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We are learning about the behaviors that are common elements in the grooming process as we become Alert Adults. In this episode, we start to consider how the predator actually uses those behaviors to negotiate the steps it takes to go from meeting a child for the first time to accomplishing their goal of sexual abuse. We look at how the behaviors appear and how they forward each of the steps toward the predators goal.

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This episode offers ideas for expanding the simple concept of most programs that educate children about prevention. The typical program teaches a version of "Say No, Get Away and Tell Somebody." As our goal is prevention by creating safe environments, in this episode we look at how to expand that conversation in a way that empowers our children to establish and enforce personal boundaries, not just stop predators.

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In this episode we discuss some research that looked at those child molesters who are already working in the organizations that our children are part of. Who are they and how do we find them and eliminate the risk to our children? What, if anything, makes them distinct from the predators in our families and the volunteers in our organizations?

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This episode considers why "good" parents, grandparents, and guardians need to make the effort to find out more about predators and how they operate. Why do we need to practice to learn and why do we need to be on watch all the time?

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This episode explores the challenges faced by schools dealing with active shooter protocols while committing to create safe environments that thwart sexual predators. The challenges are identified and possible solutions offered that give parents and teachers a pathway to finding solutions that do both - or at least don't significantly compromise either.