In this ep, I share an emotional voice message from when I knew I had to leave pro soccer and focus on my healing. I honestly didn’t realize how much I was hating soccer at the time, until my concerning brain scan forced me to step away.   

I packed up from Utah, and as soon as I landed in Portland, I embarked on a camping road trip with my friends Paige and Keelin (who have both been on the pod, ep. 38 and ep.58) to Lake Tahoe. I was asked to be a crew member for Paige who was running in the Western States, one of the most highly coveted 100-mile races in the world (that only psycho people ((I love psycho people)) choose to be a part of). 

I share another voice message (that at the time, I saved in my phone as "pep talk be you do you f**k others") I recorded from the trip that starts with me feeling really unsettled in my body, questioning WTF I am doing with my life. And then, by the end of it, I’m delivering an animated pep talk to myself about how fucking weird I am, but that’s okay, and suppressing our weird is what causes our pain. It makes me LOL and I hope it makes you LOL too. Or get hyped. Or both.

Enjoy! 

More musings and mentoring here: http://kendallperiod.com

Today’s plog is a journeyyyy. I start off sitting in a chair, looking up in the stars, sharing where I’m at in life and what exactly is a “plog.” I  then tell the story of when I was playing pro soccer, dealing with severe concussion symptoms, and participated in an intensive stay at a concussion clinic. At the end of the clinic, I meet with the doctor who revealed to me some results on my brain scan that completely changed my life as I knew it. I inserted the actual conversation w/ this doc, as well as other raw audio messages.  Heads up, I cry. This is saying a lot, considering that I was a clogged sink when it came to emotions at the time.

I then go back to the stars and share a bit more about the unconventional healing route I’ve gone on to step further into my fullest expression and to heal my physical concussion symptoms.

My website: www.arrowliving.com

In today’s episode I interview brave human being and pro soccer player Sydney Miramontez. 

Sydney and I met playing for the Utah Royals together. Before a few weeks ago we had no idea that, at the time, we were both secretly struggling with our own eating disorders. 

In our conversation, Sydney opens up about her unhealthy relationship to food and exercise. She shares how it all started and tools that helped her to work through it.

I personally am most fascinated by the role that birth control played in her journey and how it wreaked havoc on her body. 

She dives into how her own research and intuition led her to discover the pill’s negative side effects and how much it just straight up sucks for women’s hormones. 

If you stick to the end, I was a sneaky lil beezy and continued recording our convo after our interview ended, and it gets juicyyyyy. We talk about the power of periods, how they are deeply misunderstood and could literally be utilized to teams' advantages. Sydney also shares about what it was like sharing her story publicly for the first time. 

 I’m so thankful for Syd’s vulnerability.  I know there are so many female athletes who are struggling with their relationship to food, exercise, and their body, it’s simply just not talked about.  If this is you, you are not alone! 

Follow Sydney on instagram 

Follow Arrow Living on instagram

ArrowLiving.com

I hated my body, but now I love it and it weirds me out

Today’s episode is a follow-up of my last one on how I healed my “disordered eating.” In particular, I dive deep into my tumultuous relationship to my body.

From bed-ridden concussion symptoms, to digestive issues, disordered eating, to hating what stared back at me in the mirror… my relationship to my body has been through the ringer. For so long, I viewed my body as the thing that was holding me back from doing the things I wanted to do in my life. I felt like a caged animal. A hermit crab, superglued to its shell, sporadically tortured by random emotional and physical sensations, with no place to escape. 

When I started learning about the nervous system, everything changed. 

In this episode I talk about:

-why over-achieving affected my confidence in my body 

-the misconception that being positive about your body is healing

-going from hating my body to being at peace with it

-how I’m losing weight working out less and eating more

And more. 

Enjoy :) 

In today's episode, I go in depth about how about how I healed my "eating disorder'. I share how it all started, the shame I felt for binging in secret , resources that helped, and the book that changed my life and got me to the other side. 

Read the written article HERE

One on one mentoring HERE

I have something on my heart that I’ve wanted to share about  for years, but it felt too shameful to reveal while I was going through it. 

I had binge eating disorder. 

“Binge eating disorder” feels like three measly words that don’t encapsulate the hell my body went through during this experience. 

For 7 years, food consumed my life. What started with the pure intention to heal digestion issues, quickly and also slowly spiraled into being about so much more. Eating was about my livelihood.  I held this belief that if ate perfectly, then I would heal my concussion, I would get the body of my dreams, attract my soul mate and, most importantly, I would be able to get back to playing soccer like myself. 

Food thoughts consumed my life. I attributed my lingering concussion symptoms to not being strict enough with my diets. 

I know now, that this is complete and utter nonsense. But, fuck, when you’re in it, it’s a dark and shameful place.  Because you don’t know why you can’t stop your binging, especially when it’s the thing you loathe about yourself the most. I’ve never felt more out of control. 

I share this story with so much compassion for myself and anyone who resonates with it. I believe that disordered eating and body image issues are way way way more prominent than we know. Especially, in the female athletic world.

I’ll be sharing how I got to the other side in the future, but for now, here’s a piece where I recount a day in the life of my eating disorder,  when I was in the thick of it. 

Sending love to anyone who relates and I hope you know that every part of you is pure magic. 

Link to read and/or listen to my story in the bio @arrowliving 

xx Kendall 

Today on the podcast, I am so honored to have on one of the most influential people in my life, energy healer and masseuse, Jessica Shannon. I got introduced to Jessica when I was playing in Utah. A teammate’s friend swore by her. At this point, I didn’t know much about energy work, but I was willing to try anything to heal my concussion and get back to playing soccer. 

In my first session, I was mind blown. Jessica was able to tell me things about myself that there’s no way she would have known without having some sort of gift. I was astounded by her skills. This began my fascination with all things energy. 

For the past few years, I’ve dove deep into the art of energy. Put simply, everything is made up of atoms which, at their core, are energy. So, it would make sense that focusing specifically on our energy would have profound effects. 

I’ve seen several other energy workers over the years, but Jess remains my favorite. 

If you’re new to this work, I feel you, I was skeptical at first too. One of the things that draws me to Jess is her to deliver information in a really digestible way. 

I’m stoked for you to learn about her and what she does!  

In this episode, Jess talks about: 

-the chakra system and how it’s integral to our health 

-the WILD miracle story about how energy work saved her daughter’s life 

-why energy work is powerful for athletes

-her ability to read her clients “life contracts”(part of your purpose. Mine was spot on) 

And more!

This one goes deeeep. 

Enjoy!

Jess' website

I recently saw a tweet from a father of an 8 year old daughter who just found out she didn’t make her softball team. 

The first thing she said to her dad after she found out the news: “Alright dad grab your glove,  it’s time to work even harder.”

This tweet received thousands of retweets. 

It rubbed me the wrong way. 

Why? 

Because working harder nearly destroyed me. 

Working harder is wildly celebrated in our society and, as a kid,  I wanted more than anything to be celebrated. 

Working harder was a coping mechanism for me because I subconsciously didn’t believe I was good enough without it. 

I thought working harder was the only way to reach my dreams.

 Until, I discovered another way. 

If you are working hard, thriving and truly happy, then fist bump to you, keep going!! I support you. This message isn’t for you. 

But, if you are someone who has worked your ass off and you haven’t been getting the results you want or you feel like something is missing from this whole hard work=success puzzle, then, I feel you! I think you’ll dig my latest podcast episode “‘why your hard work isn’t paying off” 

In the episode I talk about: 

• Why hard work isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be
• How to get what you want with less effort 
• Stories of how I attracted things in my life without hustling 
• The question I ask myself all the time to make things much easier for myself 

And more. 

I promise you, there is another way to go after your dreams with way less struggle and much more ease. 

In today’s episode I interview U.S. Army lieutenant, former NFL linebacker, and motivational speaker Caleb Campbell. 

I stumbled upon Caleb on instagram and was captivated by his words. 

Caleb, a lifelong athlete, writes a lot about vulnerability, shame letting go, and finding where you belong in the world. 

Caleb attended the United States Military Academy Preparatory School, and went on to play at West Point. 

After an impressive senior season, he was drafted by the Detroit Lions. However, the day he was supposed to sign, a government policy was revoked and he had to report to the military for two years. 

He attacked those two years with the attitude “I’m going to get into the best shape of my life”. After his service, Caleb re-joined the Lions. He later signed contracts with the Indianapolis Colts and Kansas City Chiefs. 

Although it had been his childhood dream to play in the NFL, he found himself incredibly unhappy. I love that Caleb is vulnerable about his experiences and very openly talks about his shame. 

He also coined a term that I’m obsessed with: “holy frustration”-when you know something isn’t working and you need to let go but don’t know what the eff is going to happen next. 

How good is that? 

In today’s episode Caleb talks about: 

• dealing with the fear of feeling like you don’t have what it takes to reach your dreams
• how putting all your significance and worth in your sport can debilitate you
• obsessing with doing more and being more and why it can be a detrimental, endless battle
• how he masked his own shame with ambition
• how one tweet caused him to pack up everything, move to Canada and be a janitor of a church for 3 years and work on figuring out who he is and where he belongs in the world (his “holy frustration”)

And more!

Caleb's website

ArrowLiving.com

In today’s episode, I interview one of the people who helped me out the most during one of the lowest points in my life: my therapist, Diane Ulicsni. When I had my first session with Diane, I had just stepped away from soccer and was in the depths of depression, and a foreign debilitating “stuckness.” Working with her gave me immense insight into why my body felt like it was shutting down. Time and time again, Diane has guided me through processing trauma associated with sports and other areas of my life. I have experienced massive levels of healing because of her. 

Diane uses a combination of modalities (EMDR, brain spotting NLP, hypnosis, guided imagery, and EFT) to help athletes work through areas that are making them feel stuck, anxious, and/or confused. 

In this episode, Diane talks about: 

-where anxiety stems from and how to release it

-why talk therapy doesn’t work for a lot of people 

-the emotional component of injuries that often causes people to get re-injured

-how to be the boss of your emotions 

-the unconventional way she helped stewardess overcome their fear of flying after 9/11

And more!

Link in bio @arrowliving to listen

Diane's website: https://www.dianeu.com/