Kids First Co-Parenting with Dr. Royster

In this episode, Dr. Royster talks with Dillan Koch, a Michigan-based mental health professional in private practice, about supporting teenagers and their families. They explore why teen behavior is often part of a larger family dynamic—and how that becomes especially important during divorce, family conflict, and major life transitions.Together, they discuss teen privacy in therapy, parental involvement, independence, and how to distinguish healthy challenges from genuine safety concerns. Dillan shares a family systems perspective on helping teens and parents build communication and resilience, with the goal of supporting families—not keeping clients in therapy indefinitely.

• Dillan’s work with teenagers and families in her Michigan private practice
• How parent-only intake sessions can help therapists understand family concerns
• Setting clear confidentiality boundaries and maintaining trust with teens
• Why a teenager’s struggles may reflect pressures across the whole family system
• How adolescence can bring change and stress for parents as well as teens
• The balance between emotional safety, appropriate challenges, and building resilience
• How overparenting can unintentionally make it harder for kids to develop independence
• Approaching phone use, school responsibilities, and alcohol through early, ongoing conversations
• Parentification and the risk of teens becoming a parent’s confidant during divorce
• Keeping children out of adult relationship conflicts and co-parenting disputes
• Responding to school or visitation resistance with curiosity rather than assumptions
• Supporting teens through separation, grief, and changing family relationships

01:17 — Dillan’s private practice and family systems approach

02:17 — Working with teens and their families

05:04 — Setting confidentiality expectations with parents

06:17 — Protecting trust when parents want information

08:40 — Why teens can’t be treated as the only source of family problems

10:48 — Teen development, family stress, and changing roles

14:53 — Are teens changing, or are parenting dynamics changing?

16:17 — Overparenting, helplessness, and resilience

17:13 — The balance between safety and friction

18:38 — Grades, assignments, and helping teens build responsibility

23:23 — Phones, alcohol, and setting boundaries before a crisis

27:45 — Divorce, parentification, and teens becoming confidants

31:43 — Why adult relationship conflict is hard for teens to understand

33:30 — Family roles, perfectionism, and the quieter child

36:32 — Validating teens’ experiences during divorce or separation

38:54 — Understanding teen autonomy and resistance

41:27 — When teens recognize unhealthy or unsafe family dynamics

43:36 — Staying grounded amid co-parenting conflict

45:20 — Communicating with a child’s future perspective in mind

48:04 — Grief through divorce, adolescence, and young adulthood

49:07 — Dillan’s podcast, Instagram, and community work

Connect with Dillan for therapeutic & coaching services here.

Follow Dillan on Instagram

Listen to The Check in with Dillan

I am a psychologist, but I am not your psychologist. This is education and support, not therapy or legal advice. For anything about your actual family, talk with your own provider.

The podcast episode explores the experience of high-achieving women in coercive control relationships, debunking the myth that only certain types of people experience abuse. It delves into the impact of status inconsistency, psychological manipulation, and financial control on these women, highlighting the challenges they face in seeking help and the implications for their professional lives and co-parenting dynamics.

Takeaways

• Myth of Abuse: Debunks the myth that only certain types of people experience abuse.
• Impact of Coercive Control: Explores the impact of status inconsistency, psychological manipulation, and financial control on high-achieving women.

Chapters

• 00:00 Debunking the Myth of Abuse
• 07:40 Impact of Status Inconsistency
• 16:01 Psychological Manipulation and Financial Control
• 21:02 Challenges in Seeking Help and Professional Implications
• 23:53 Co-Parenting Dynamics and Protective Factors

Kids First is the membership community for moms navigating high conflict and parallel parenting, led by a doctoral level clinician. Weekly Group Coaching, Monthly live workshops, a library of real strategy, and a group of women who understand what you are carrying without you having to explain it. Plus direct access to me. Join now.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Financial Feminist Podcast
• Beyond the Statistic (Formerly 1 in 3) Podcast
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE) or Text START to 88788

Disclosure

I am a psychologist, but I am not your psychologist, and I am definitely not your attorney. This is education, not therapy or legal advice.

Welcome back to Season2!!

Dr. Royster opens season two of Kids First Co-Parenting with a foundational lesson on coercive control, explaining why it’s often missed in the moment and why it matters so much during separation and co-parenting. She breaks down the patterns behind coercive control, how gaslighting causes people to doubt themselves, and the ways it can continue after divorce through parenting, finances, and access to kids. In this episode, Dr. Royster offers a clear, practical framework for recognizing coercive control in everyday life—especially for people who find themselves thinking, “Nothing that bad ever happened.” She also emphasizes that when a situation is unsafe or abusive, support and safety planning must come first.

• Coercive control is a pattern, not a single incident. It involves ongoing efforts to dominate someone and strip away their independence, confidence, and trust in their own reality.
• Why coercive control may not become clear until separation, divorce, or co-parenting begins.
• How gaslighting causes people to question their own memories, instincts, and perceptions.
• Financial control, including restricted access to money, constant scrutiny of spending, and using finances as punishment.
• Monitoring and surveillance through location tracking, phone checks, text-message scrutiny, and demands for explanations.
• Isolation and the gradual erosion of relationships with family, friends, and coworkers.
• Rewriting reality, shifting blame, and portraying the targeted person as unreasonable.
• Micro-rules and unpredictability that create the feeling of constantly walking on eggshells.
• Using children as messengers, spies, leverage, or an audience.
• How coercive control can continue after divorce through communication, schedules, expenses, and the children.
• Why naming coercive control is an important part of healing and protecting children.
• Where to seek help when coercive control overlaps with domestic violence or an unsafe situation.

Kids First is my membership community for moms navigating high conflict coparenting. Monthly workshops, real strategy, and a group of women who genuinely get it, because they're living it too. It's where you stop doing the hardest job of your life alone. Join us.

One thing before we get into it. I'm a psychologist, but I'm not your psychologist, and I'm definitely not your attorney. This show is education and support, not therapy or legal advice. So please take what's useful, and for anything about your actual case, talk to your own team.

AND If you are experiencing domestic violence or feel unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233

or text START to 88788 (Support is free and confidential.)

Twenty-six episodes. Thousands of listeners. Moms sharing this podcast with their sisters, their friends, the woman down the street who just got served papers. Season 1 of this podcast has been one of the most meaningful things I have built and I built it for YOU. For the mom who is exhausted and scared and doing this mostly alone. For the mom who just needed someone to tell her she was not crazy.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing it with the people who needed it.

We are taking a summer break and when we come back in the fall we are coming back with something more. New episodes, new topics, and a whole new level of co-parenting.

Kids First Membership is open year round. If you are navigating high conflict coparenting and need expert guidance, community, and support while the podcast is on break this is where you want to be. Join here: https://www.learnwithlittlehouse.com/kids-first-membership

Custody (PRE/CFI) Intensives (launching this summer, limited availability) available here: https://learnwithlittlehouse.myflodesk.com/skuza6g56a

Keywords: high conflict divorce, coparenting, custody evaluation, parallel parenting, divorce coach, coparenting coach, family law, high conflict coparenting, divorced mom, protect your kids, kids first, custody battle, PRE, CFI, season finale, podcast break.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared by Dr. Karalynn Royster is not intended to be and should not be construed as mental health treatment, psychological services, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client or attorney-client relationship. If you are in need of mental health support or legal guidance, please consult a licensed mental health professional or qualified attorney in your area.

If you have a custody evaluation coming up or you've just been told one has been ordered this episode is a must listen.

Custody evaluations are one of the most high stakes (and stressful) moments in any family law case, and most moms walk in under-prepared and over stressed.

In this solo episode, licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Karalynn Royster, breaks down what happens inside a custody evaluation, what evaluators are trained to assess, and where moms can go wrong.

You'll learn:

• What a PRE and CFI actually do and why they are not your advocate
• Key things every evaluator is watching for in every parent they meet
• Why emotional regulation and child focused communication matter more than you think
• How your documentation, emails, and texts are being evaluated before you even walk in the room

Whether you are in the middle of a high conflict divorce, navigating co-parenting with a narcissistic ex, preparing for a custody evaluation, or working with families in the family court system, this episode will change how you think about preparation.

Ready to stop leaving your custody evaluation to chance?

This summer Dr. Royster is opening the Custody Eval Intensive a 90 day, high touch program for moms who are done walking into the most important evaluation of their custody case unprepared. Only 3 spots. Beta pricing available. Interest form closes June 15th.

👉 JOIN THE WAITLIST: https://learnwithlittlehouse.myflodesk.com/skuza6g56a

Not facing an evaluation but need ongoing support?

The Kids First Membership is a monthly coaching community for moms navigating high conflict coparenting led by a licensed clinical psychologist who has spent her career doing exactly this work. For $97/month you get expert guidance, live workshops, and a community of women who actually get it.

👉 JOIN KIDS FIRST MEMBERSHIP: https://www.learnwithlittlehouse.com/kids-first-membership

Keywords: custody evaluation, parenting responsibility evaluator, child and family investigator, PRE, CFI, high conflict divorce, co-parenting, narcissistic ex, family court, custody battle, child custody, divorce attorney, GAL, guardian ad litem, co-parenting coach, custody preparation, family law, emotional regulation, high conflict coparenting

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared by Dr. Karalynn Royster is not intended to be and should not be construed as mental health treatment, psychological services, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client or attorney-client relationship. If you are in need of mental health support or legal guidance, please consult a licensed mental health professional or qualified attorney in your area.

Money is one of the most powerful tools used in high conflict divorce and coparenting dynamics. For many women: the narrative that they are "bad with money" is not a personal failure: it is a story they have been told to keep them feeling small or stuck. In this episode: I am joined by Leah Hadley (a financial expert OG). We are dismantling the shame around finances and giving you the clinical and practical tools to reclaim your financial sovereignty. We dive deep into:

• Financial Mindset tools, including values & clarity around what you really want.
• The importance of sisterhood and support as you build intentional wealth.
• How to pick a good financial planning pro and what to watch out for.

About Leah Hadley: Leah Hadley is a financial planner, Accredited Financial Counselor, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and the founder of Intentional Wealth Partners and Intentional Divorce Solutions. She is the author of Intentional Money: The Modern Woman's Guide to Building Wealth, Purpose and Peace, and the creator of The Empowered Sisterhood, a community built to help women achieve lasting financial confidence. Leah's work is rooted in the belief that when women are financially empowered, everything changes.

Leah's Links:

• Substack article on fees in financial planning.
• Watch her Thrive and Intentional Divorce Solutions on Instagram
• Leah Hadley on LinkedIn
• Intentional Money: Modern Women's Guide to Wealth, Purpose & Peace

Dr. Royster's Links:

• Join the Kids First Membership for only $97/month
• Follow us on Instagram

The information provided here is for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute professional mental health: clinical: or legal advice.

• No Professional Relationship: Accessing this content does not create a therapist: patient or attorney: client relationship.
• Seek Professional Help: If you are in a crisis or require specific advice for your unique situation: please reach out to a licensed mental health provider or a qualified legal professional in your area immediately.
• Safety First: Your safety and well being are the highest priority. If you are in immediate danger: please contact local emergency services or a crisis hotline.

In this insightful interview, child psychologist & co-parenting coach, Dr. Karalynn Royster, and Licensed Clinical Social worker, Alexandra Harrison LCSW, explore the complexities of stepfamily dynamics, blending families, and effective coaching strategies.

Discover practical tips, research-backed insights, and compassionate approaches to navigate the challenges of blended families and co-parenting.

Keywords: stepfamilies, blending families, co-parenting, step-parent coaching, family dynamics, divorce, remarriage, parenting strategies, high conflict families, family therapy

Key Topics:

• The timeline of blending families and the typical 2-7 year process
• Loyalty binds and how they affect children and parents
• The importance of balancing warmth and boundaries in stepfamily relationships
• The role of coaching versus therapy in supporting stepfamilies
• Managing relationships with high conflict ex-partners

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Professional Background

04:25 Navigating Step Family Dynamics

07:13 The Challenges of Repartnering

09:50 Understanding Step-Parenting

12:30 The Impact of Neurodiversity on Family Dynamics

15:13 Step-Parent Coaching: A New Approach

18:21 Core Challenges in Step Families

20:59 Loyalty Binds and Parenting Dynamics

23:56 Creating a Unified Parenting Approach

26:32 Values-Based Parenting in Step Families

30:11 Navigating Stepfamily Dynamics

32:59 The Balancing Act of Parenting and Partnership

37:13 Building Secure Connections in Stepfamilies

40:56 The Complexity of Ex-Spouse Relationships

43:27 Managing Co-Parenting Challenges

50:01 Finding Support and Resources for Stepfamilies

57:12 Introduction to Kids First Co-Parenting

57:40 Support and Resources for Co-Parents

57:54 Disclaimer

Resources

Step Family Reset Website: https://stepfamilyreset.com

Alex Harrison's YouTube Channel

In this episode, Dr. Karalynn Royster and divorce coach Andra Davidson explore the emotional landscape of divorce, effective co-parenting strategies, and how to turn challenging experiences into opportunities for growth. Whether you're in the thick of divorce or just contemplating it, this conversation offers practical advice and reassurance.Key Topics:

• The importance of emotional support during divorce and how it impacts conflict and costs
• Strategies for approaching co-parenting with intention, boundaries, and a focus on the long-term well-being of children
• The role of divorce coaching in managing day-to-day stress, communication, and complex family dynamics
• How to define success and set goals for life post-divorce, including envisioning a fulfilling future
• The benefits of seeking early guidance before filing for divorce and how support teams collaborate
• Differences between therapy, legal work, and coaching—knowing when and how to engage each professional
• Managing high-conflict situations and deciding when parallel parenting might be the best approach
• The importance of self-care, boundaries, and trusting your instincts in the divorce process
• Practical tips for organizational tools, communication strategies, and fostering resilience in children
• Resources for ongoing support, including coaching, therapy, and community memberships

Resources & Links:

• Better Than Before Divorce: Andra Davidson's coaching services
• Kids First Co-Parenting Membership: Support community for co-parenting moms
• Learn with Little House on Instagram: Community connection
  

Additional Notes:This episode emphasizes that divorce, while difficult, is an opportunity to rebuild and grow. Support from coaches, therapists, and a community can help you navigate the emotional and practical challenges, ensuring you and your children thrive beyond the separation.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. This content does not constitute legal or mental health advice and does not establish a therapist patient relationship. Please consult with your own qualified legal or mental health professionals regarding your specific circumstances.

Dr. Karalynn Royster delves into the impact of gaslighting and manipulation on children in high-conflict co-parenting situations. The podcast introduces the Anchor Method as a framework for supporting children and reinforcing their self-trust in challenging family dynamics.

Takeaways

• Gaslighting and manipulation impact children's sense of reality
• The Anchor Method provides a framework for supporting children in high-conflict co-parenting situations
• Mistakes and areas where the anchor method goes wrong
• Gaslighting and manipulation in co-parenting
• The Anchor method for supporting children
• Validation techniques for kids in high conflict
• Strategies to build self-trust in children (the ANCHOR METHOD)
• Handling parental conflict and maintaining boundaries

Chapters:

00:00 Understanding Gaslighting in Parenting

00:50 I was gaslit....

02:42 The ANCHOR Method

04:15 What actually is gaslighting?

06:43 Strategies for Addressing Manipulation

07:38 Validation is important

08:58 The ANCHOR Method

09:38 A-Ask

12:01 N-Name

14:54 Kids First Membership

15:31 C-Confirm

20:14 H-Holding

21:37 O-offer

23:27 R-Reinforce Self-Trust

25:21 Common Mistakes in Implementing the Anchor Method

31:27 Introduction and Disclaimer

Download the free ANCHOR Method guide to learn the five steps that help protect your child from gaslighting without putting them in the middle.

If you want deeper support, join the Kids First Membership for tools, coaching, and practical strategies to navigate high conflict co-parenting.

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, legal advice, or professional services. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist client relationship. If you need individualized support, please consult a qualified mental health or legal professional.

Send a text

When the floor drops out after a separation, most parents don’t need platitudes; they need a lifeline. We sit down with Joy Reed from the National Association for Single and Divorced Families to unpack a practical, AARP‑style model built for families: national mediation you can trust, real childcare discounts with priority placement, mental health sessions that actually start the healing, and vetted financial advisors who understand the math of divorce. If you’ve ever stared at a co‑parenting app with a knot in your gut, this conversation hands you scripts, guardrails, and a way forward.

We dig into the two‑generation model and why supporting parents and children together is the key to breaking cycles of stress and poverty. Joy shares examples of workforce training linked to daycare slots and employer hiring, turning education into paychecks instead of paperwork. We also talk frankly about the motherhood penalty, resume gaps, and the impossible calculus of paying lawyers, covering rent, and affording daycare at the same time. Layer in school supply and tech savings, plus safety tools like Noonlight, and you’ve got a toolkit that meets families where life is really happening.

Emotions run alongside logistics. Even amicable divorces carry grief and identity shock, and high‑conflict situations can steal your peace one message at a time. We normalize therapy for adults and kids, break down how to access free and discounted sessions, and offer language for setting clear boundaries that keep children out of the middle. Joy’s north star is simple and fierce: people before profit. Every partner is vetted for mission fit so vulnerable families aren’t sold false hope.

If you’re navigating separation, rebuilding solo, or supporting a friend, press play for resources you can use today and perspective that lightens the load. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more parents find solid ground.

Check out the National Association of Single and Divorced Families

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Kids First CoParenting System: The best membership for moms co-parenting in a high conflict dynamic. If you are co-parenting with a narcissist, dealing with a manipulative ex, or feeling overwhelmed by high-conflict dynamics, you are not alone. These resources are designed to help you protect your child’s emotional health and take back control of your co-parenting experience.

• Kids First Co-Parenting Membership

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The Kids First CoParenting podcast and all related content are provided for general education and not legal or mental health advice in any way.