Summary: Our neurobiological response to co-parenting stress often mirrors evolutionary survival mechanisms, triggering fight, flight, freeze, or fawn reactions when we receive messages from difficult ex-partners. Recognizing these pattern is the critical first step to interrupting automatic responses and choosing more intentional communication.

Key Takeaways:

• The "four Fs" (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) are natural trauma responses designed to protect us in threatening situations
• Different situations may trigger different response patterns based on your history
• You can't control your initial reaction, but you can learn to recognize it before responding
• Naming what's happening creates space between your reaction and your response
• Asking trusted friends about your typical response patterns can provide valuable insights

Resources: 

Check out our High Conflict Communication Bootcamp for just $19, where we go beyond naming these responses and provide practical tools for each pattern. 

If you’re tired of every conversation with your ex turning into a fight, the High Conflict Communication Bootcamp for Moms  is for you.  In this  self-paced 3 day online course, get scripts, strategies, and a workbook you can use right away, designed for moms in high-conflict co-parenting and parallel parenting. Enroll now for just $19 here. 

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Kids First CoParenting System: If you are co-parenting with a narcissist, dealing with a manipulative ex, or feeling overwhelmed by high-conflict dynamics, you are not alone. These resources are designed to help you protect your child’s emotional health and take back control of your co-parenting experience.

Get More Support

• How to Co-Parent with a Difficult Ex Masterclass (Free & Instant Access)
• High Conflict 3 day Communication Bootcamp for Moms

Explore the Kids First Co-Parenting System to learn how to raise emotionally secure kids after divorce, even when your co-parent refuses to change. This is the support system every overwhelmed mom needs.

Social Links:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Youtube
• Co-Parenting Blog

Episode Summary: 

We explore how to handle tough questions from your children about separation, divorce, or your past relationship in ways that are honest, developmentally appropriate, and emotionally supportive.

Key Points
• Understand what's driving your child's question before answering 
• Validate their question first with phrases 
• Gently assess why they might be asking 
• Keep responses child-focused
• Respond directly to the underlying concern (like fear of losing your love) 

Kids First CoParenting System: If you are co-parenting with a narcissist, dealing with a manipulative ex, or feeling overwhelmed by high-conflict dynamics, you are not alone. These resources are designed to help you protect your child’s emotional health and take back control of your co-parenting experience.

Get More Support

• How to Co-Parent with a Difficult Ex Masterclass (Free & Instant Access)
• High Conflict 3 day Communication Bootcamp for Moms

Explore the Kids First Co-Parenting System to learn how to raise emotionally secure kids after divorce, even when your co-parent refuses to change. This is the support system every overwhelmed mom needs.

Social Links:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Youtube
• Co-Parenting Blog

Summary

Parallel parenting provides a structured approach for co-parenting with high-conflict exes by creating strong boundaries and limiting communication. This episode explores different co-parenting styles and helps you determine if parallel parenting might be the right approach for your situation.

Key Takeaways:
• Different co-parenting styles exist on a spectrum from nesting to collaborative co-parenting to parallel parenting
• Parallel parenting involves parenting on separate "train tracks" that never cross, with minimal communication
• Most co-parents start with collaborative intentions but may shift to parallel parenting when difficulties arise
• Parallel parenting works best with manipulative, toxic, or boundary-challenging ex-partners
• Strong boundaries are essential when dealing with difficult people, especially when children are involved
• Your house, your rules; their house, their rules—each parent maintains control during their parenting time
• The parenting plan becomes your guide for all interactions and decisions
• Parallel parenting can be temporary as you heal, or a long-term solution for high-conflict situations

If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review and share it with another co-parenting mom. Check out our free guide on different co-parenting styles and our masterclass "How to Handle a Difficult Ex."

Kids First CoParenting System: If you are co-parenting with a narcissist, dealing with a manipulative ex, or feeling overwhelmed by high-conflict dynamics, you are not alone. These resources are designed to help you protect your child’s emotional health and take back control of your co-parenting experience.

Get More Support

• How to Co-Parent with a Difficult Ex Masterclass (Free & Instant Access)
• High Conflict 3 day Communication Bootcamp for Moms

Explore the Kids First Co-Parenting System to learn how to raise emotionally secure kids after divorce, even when your co-parent refuses to change. This is the support system every overwhelmed mom needs.

Social Links:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Youtube
• Co-Parenting Blog

Summary
In this episode, Dr. Karalynn Royster discusses the complexities of co-parenting, particularly in high-conflict situations. She emphasizes the importance of establishing strong boundaries to protect both the parent and the child. The conversation covers three main types of boundaries: emotional, communication, and parenting boundaries, providing insights and strategies for mothers navigating difficult co-parenting dynamics.

Helpful Links:

Learn about the Kids First Co-Parenting System

How to Co-Parent with a Difficult Ex Masterclass (Free)

High Conflict Communication Bootcamp

Private Facebook Group

Follow us on Youtube & Instagram

Takeaways

• Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional health.
• You cannot control your ex's actions, only your responses.
• Emotional boundaries help you cope with the reality of co-parenting.
• Clear communication is crucial in high-conflict situations.
• You must prioritize your child's well-being above all.
• Establishing parenting boundaries helps maintain your home environment.
• Regularly assess and reinforce your boundaries with your ex.
• Seek resources and community support for co-parenting challenges.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Boundaries
01:34 Understanding the Importance of Boundaries
02:54 Who is a boundary for
04:32 Types of Boundaries in Co-Parenting
04:36 Emotional Boundaries
07:19 Communication Boundaries
08:16 Parenting Boundaries
09:08 Recap & Learn More

Kids First CoParenting System: If you are co-parenting with a narcissist, dealing with a manipulative ex, or feeling overwhelmed by high-conflict dynamics, you are not alone. These resources are designed to help you protect your child’s emotional health and take back control of your co-parenting experience.

Get More Support

• How to Co-Parent with a Difficult Ex Masterclass (Free & Instant Access)
• High Conflict 3 day Communication Bootcamp for Moms

Explore the Kids First Co-Parenting System to learn how to raise emotionally secure kids after divorce, even when your co-parent refuses to change. This is the support system every overwhelmed mom needs.

Social Links:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Youtube
• Co-Parenting Blog

Welcome to Kids First Co-Parenting, the podcast for smart, intentional moms navigating life after divorce with a difficult ex. Your host, Dr. Karalynn Royster, a child psychologist and co-parenting expert, this show offers real-world guidance for mothers raising emotionally secure kids in high conflict family dynamics.

Each episode blends child development insights with concrete strategies for managing co-parenting stress, setting boundaries with a toxic ex, protecting your child from conflict, and finding your footing as a confident, grounded parent. Whether you are navigating high conflict co parenting, parallel parenting, or co parenting with a narcissist, you will learn how to create stability for your kids, support their emotional well-being, and reclaim your own peace of mind.

Topics include co parenting communication, parenting plan mistakes to avoid, tools for dealing with controlling or manipulative exes, managing single mom burnout, and how to disengage strategically without feeling like you are giving up. You will also hear how to support your child’s emotional needs during and after divorce, set up effective routines in two homes, and rebuild your parenting identity on your own terms.

This show is your go-to resource for co parenting classes, co parenting counseling tips, managing the mental load for moms, and child-centered co parenting strategies backed by developmental science and trauma-informed care. You will also get behind-the-scenes access to insights from the Kids First Co-Parenting System and invitations to our free masterclasses and communication bootcamps.

If you are tired of co parenting drama and want real answers about how to co parent well, protect your child from the emotional fallout of divorce, and stop walking on eggshells every time you interact with your ex, this podcast is for you.

Kids First CoParenting System: If you are co-parenting with a narcissist, dealing with a manipulative ex, or feeling overwhelmed by high-conflict dynamics, you are not alone. These resources are designed to help you protect your child’s emotional health and take back control of your co-parenting experience.

Get More Support

• How to Co-Parent with a Difficult Ex Masterclass (Free & Instant Access)
• High Conflict 3 day Communication Bootcamp for Moms

Explore the Kids First Co-Parenting System to learn how to raise emotionally secure kids after divorce, even when your co-parent refuses to change. This is the support system every overwhelmed mom needs.

Social Links:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Youtube
• Co-Parenting Blog