Do you remember a world before stained glass window outlets? I don't even want to imagine what life used to be like. If you order one now, we will throw in a free bird shooting potato gun (this is not a gun that shoots potatoes at birds). If you order one five minutes ago, we will throw in a free waterproof toaster, and some menaloast (a Greek delicacy). If you don't order one, we will send it to Washington.

Please donate to our chairty/religion/reality TV show. It is the only way we can properly rid the world of its filth.

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Please do not look up cholent. You will regret it.