Kincraig Cares

Life has been busy lately so I haven’t had time to do my wee community podcast Kincraig Cares. But I was recently reminded at my friend Helen Ekerot’s funeral in January how important it is we make time for the things, and people, that matter in our lives. 

I know Helena’s passing hit a lot of people in our community hard because her death seemed so untimely and so unfair. I’ve thought about her a lot since saying goodbye at the beginning of January - about her grace, her calmness, her serenity and the way she loved and embraced life with her sunshine smile and bright colours.

I wanted to do something to honour her memory and to also help our community move forward after difficult deaths like Helena’s. And how we, as a community, can best support those most affected.

How we can - as the minister said at her funeral - take the essence of what we loved about a person and allow it to live on, flourish even, in us.

I had the privilege having this amazing, life affirming, rollercoaster of a conversation with another brilliant local lady - Louise Mainland. Someone who I’ve actually wanted to sit down with for ages for a proper meaty chat as I’ve admired the way she lives, and thinks, from afar for years.

Lou is bereavement services manager at Highland Hospice (amongst many other things!); a role she was drawn to after her personal experience of tragic baby loss.

I’m really grateful to Lou for her time, her words really helped me, and I hope they help any of you struggling with grief and/or also wanting to remember Helena.

Also very grateful that Lou was so open and honest - the conversation does get teary at points and we don’t shy away from difficult feelings or topics. But, ultimately, this is a joyful, uplifting conversation which I helps others in our community (and outwith) go forward from loss.

We also discuss loss in many different forms.

Lou also mentions many different local resources:

Highland Hospice

Simba (baby loss charity)

Held in our hearts (baby loss charity)

Cruse (bereavement support)

Grief brief animation

Please listen and share with anyone else that may benefit from this conversation. 

00:00 Welcome to Kincraig Cares

00:52 Meet Louise Mainland

02:44 Why This Conversation Matters

04:13 Louise’s Loss Story1

1:07 From Grief to Purpose1

3:08 Talking About Death

18:05 Processing Emotions

20:06 Adults and Playful Healing

26:13 Support Services Available

28:17 Guilt and Grief Hierarchies

34:35 Funerals and Saying Goodbye

36:55 Rituals and Enduring Bonds

39:55 Permission and Planning Ahead

42:23 Planning a Fun Funeral

44:39 Wills and Family Conflict

47:38 Journaling and AI for Grief

50:16 Energy and Afterlife Beliefs

53:05 Rituals and Collective Mourning

58:53 Everyday Connection Matters

01:04:18 How to Support the Bereaved

01:06:02 Estrangement and Living Loss

01:14:14 Medicalized Death and Longevity

01:18:29 Happiness Values and Legacy

01:20:27 Final Takeaways and Goodbye

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Alice Fogg is only 28 but already has landed a job she was dreaming of having later on in her career: Chief Officer of 'VABS', which stands for voluntary action in Badenoch & Strathspey.

VABS supports local community and voluntary groups to realise their ambitions, and Alice is well placed to lead as her entire adult life has been about community and grassroots change.

We talk about what drives this fire in her belly to put so much energy in community - and why her degree at Durham University, studying big concepts like global geopolitics, actually made her realise that the biggest difference can be make at the micro, not macro, level. And, also, why working at this level can bring the biggest joy and sense of satisfaction, too.

She talks about her childhood being a triplet, her existential breakdown, feeling isolated at Uni due to coming from a state not private school, why she came to the Highlands and how she built her resilience to deal with the many challenges young people growing up in this crazy world face.

Ultimately a really inspiring conversation and one that really consolidated by growing view that charity (and progress) really does work better if it starts at home, on our doorsteps. It's also much better for our mental health than constantly scrolling the disastrous events happening around the world that we can often feel powerless over.

I hope you enjoy getting to know Alice as much as I did. Do say hello if you see her around; even better, why not check out www.vabs.org.uk and see if there's any way you can get involved with the local charities and community initiatives in our area, or contact her directly.

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

I'm calling today's guest, Nicol Sinclair, a 'philosopher' because I was struck, more than anything else, by how much this man absorbs information, thinks about it & then forms his own opinions on it. Exactly what we need in the age of AI!

This is true on SO MANY subjects - life, love, relationships, community, technology, feminism, marriage, kids, gender... which meant this chat was wide ranging and full of references to good stuff he's read, seen and heard. Have your notebook to the ready...

Honestly, if anyone every says to you 'men can't do emotion' or 'men aren't emotionally intelligent', send them this podcast link.

And, by the way, the 'chainsaw' reference comes in, not because he's some violent street serial killer !(!!), but because he works in forestry, and wielding a chainsaw was his childhood dream from 12. Also because it's his precious time in nature which is so fundamental to processing his thoughts and to his mental health.

Being a community podcast, this also covers his views on community which often stem from his (I'm gonna say it) idyllic, wholesome childhood where playing outside was the FOMO of the day. Expect lots of references to Top of the Pops, choppers and other such nostalgia.

I hope you enjoy getting to know Nicol as much as I did. Do say hello if you see him around!

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Today’s guest is the lovely Lorna Bray and I loved this chat because it just shows how, as neighbours, we can live so near each other.... and yet not know how much we have in common, until we sit down and have a proper, meaty conversation. 

Turns out we are both big fans of being honest and keeping it real in a world of insta-perfect grids; even though Lorna is actually an expert in curating these grids, with her popular account @gurl_on_the_hill and in her comms work at Education Scotland.

We get straight into the meat and no topic is taboo here: the struggle to make friends as an adult; building back after divorce; dealing with her daughter’s diagnosis; dealing with her own anxiety; therapy; falling in love and second marriage; the challenge of moving to a small community where your other half is already well known and a big personality…  And more!

Of course, being a community podcast we also talk about where Lorna has got her appreciation of community and why she, pretty much on moving to Kincraig, took on writing the village News and Events Facebook page.

I hope you enjoy getting to know Lorna as much as I did. Do say hello if you see her around; she loves nothing more than hearing a bit of Kincraig news :) 

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Today’s guest is the perfect person to have on this Men’s Health Week (9-16th June) because he is doing so much in our community to improve the lives of local men. 

Even if you’re not based in the Cairngorms, or don’t have links with it, what he says about supporting men’s health in a community is SO valuable and he’s full of inspiring, transformative ideas. One I’m particularly excited about is how the ‘shedders’ are supporting Kingussie High School pupils.

At a time when there’s so much negativity about masculinity in the mainstream media, it’s so refreshing and important to big-up the positive male role models in our midst - of which Colin is certainly one, and there are many others, as this conversation makes clear.

It also makes clear that - yes, men may be from Mars and women from Venus - but for our society to thrive, we need to collaborate and support each other better. And he has lots of ideas of how.

So. Many. Truthbombs. (As my teen boys might say, and a few are even from them, though no fear of them listening to their mum’s podcast!).

We talk about all sorts: the privilege of growing up here and what it gave Colin, the culture shock of leaving, the power of storytelling and mentoring, how men and women socialise and make friends so differently, how to get men to talk about feelings, loneliness, being true to yourself, how women can support men (spoiler alert: encourage them to things like Men’s Sheds and to get health screened!).

If you have a man in your life that you care about - and that’s the vast majority of us, luckily - then please, please listen to this episode and pass it on. What Colin, and the Men’s Sheds and similar networks are so valuable and it would be great to raise awareness and support for this important causes. Thank you! 

Episode also contains a lot of information about how you can get involved with Community Connections, as a volunteer, from befriending to driving.

Follow Badenoch Men’s Shed on Facebook here, or email [email protected] 

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Today’s episode is a special one-off to mark National Cancer Survivors Day (1st June), and is actually with someone from my previous community - Rachel Westwood.

Rachel has been very open about her experiences going through cancer treatment in order to improve understanding of what it’s like, and how others can best help. She has a particularly interesting insight, being a pharmacist, a wife, a mother of three, someone who's always prioritised her health and a linchpin character in her community. 

Knowing what to say to someone with cancer, and what to do, can be really tricky, which is why some people shy away from doing or saying anything. I’m so grateful to Rachel today for sharing her thoughts so openly and honestly on how our communities can better support those going through cancer.

Hope you enjoy this episode and find it useful - and find Rachel as inspiring as I do. Please pass it on to anyone who might benefit from hearing it.

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

I (Suzy!) co-run a group called Women Support Women locally - at our last hike I was asked about the idea behind the group, and why I feel so strongly about putting my time and energy into it.

I answered that SO BADLY.

In fact I went off on a rant about the brilliant polymath nun Hildegard von Bingen and female orgasms (they are, actually related... she was basically the Beyonce of the Middle Ages and wrote the first recorded account.... but that's for another podcast, eh!).

Because I left more local women confused than clear about the group (some thought they had joined some kind of X rated club on arrival!), I thought I'd do a podcast episode about it, for anyone in the Strath potentially interested in the group.

This episode covers why (I think) it's so important to bring women together in supportive environments in this CRAZY time we're living in :).

It also covers a few myths about me, as a person, about why I do it.

So, if you'd be interested in meeting new people in our wonderful homeland, have just moved here, have a business you'd like help championing, a hobby/talent you'd like to share or would like a supportive environment to grow your skills/ confidence/ personal development... please listen to this and see if anything resonates :)

Similarly, if you know anyone who might benefit from a local group like this PLEASE pass it on.

Loneliness is a huge issue today, as are mental health problems and associated lack of confidence... all of which I've experienced, and one reason why I believe in this group. 

Maybe you have a mum, sister, friend, neighbour.... who might appreciate a group like this - please pass it on!

And for any men thinking it's unfair to focus on the fairer sex like this.... I've read about the Men's Shed recently, which sounds like a great local initiative AND we do have some plans at Women Support Women to do some events also including men.

Watch this space!

In the meantime, encourage your wife / daughter / sister along!

I hope the origins, ethos and purpose of Women Support Women are now clearer now!

And if you have any other suggestions of characters in Kincraig to interview on this podcast, please email me on ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Today’s guest is the gutsy, globe trotting Tamasina Cassidy, who runs the Rowan Tree Hotel and Restaurant with her husband Jonny.

In this episode, she tells us why she downed tools in London – after 9 ski seasons and with 2 kids in tow – and headed for the hills. Specifically the Cairngorm Mountains to take over the Rowan Tree, which is situated just outside Kincraig between here and Aviemore and next to the gorgeous loch Alvie.

 It's abundantly apparent that her ability to reframe situations into positives and her tendency to get stuck in have stood her in very good stead.

She talks about why she loves this area so much and how she believes that collaboration could raise the bar for the area even more. She also shares some of her hobbies, and the joy they give her, from beekeeping to table dancing!

Hope you enjoyed meeting Tamasina – do say hello if you see her out and about in Kincraig or, even better, why not drop into the Rowan Tree for a drink or dinner, I can thoroughly recommend !

And if you have any other suggestions of characters in Kincraig to interview on this podcast, please email me on ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Today’s guest is no ordinary 88 year old. It’s the formidable Gertie Hera Barton, whose name appropriately translates as ‘indestructible strength’.

Here she talks about her rich, varied and (sometimes) going-against-convention life.

We cover so many topics in this episode:

Losing friends and what you learn about yourself from this

How to find joy, gratitude and beauty all around you

Anger and social injustice 

How nature is her church

How life is really all about love and connection

Can Gertie be a modern day influencer when not even on Instagram?!

I had tears in my eyes, and she a frog in her throat, when she spoke so touchingly of the story behind adopting her two boys.

We talk about infertility and the grief around this, and compare different paths to motherhood; creating your own kids versus loving other people’s that desperately need your love.

Gertie’s is a story of love winning out and one that we can all, especially with the current discourse around ‘toxic masculinity’, learn from.

Talking to Gertie again hit home to me the importance of listening to older voices and stories, which society often dismisses, sidelines or, even, mocks. Older is certainly not always wiser but I think, in Gertie’s case, it is.

Hope you enjoy meeting Gertie. Do say hello to her, around Kincraig, particularly the Old Post Office Cafe on a Thursday morning… or even better show her how to get on Instagram so she can get her voice out there.

And if you have any other suggestions of characters in Kincraig to interview on this podcast, please email me on ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Well, the moment is finally here - the one the villagers of Kincraig have been asking for - community stalwart Ian Ash is on the pod!

He’s been nominated by practically every guest before him.

So integral to the running of the village is Ian that some people even believe he’s actually our Mayor. This is because wherever there is a community event, Ian is there, popping up with a smile like a (nice) whack a mole or teleporting ninja. 

You’ll find him on Cairngorm Mountain, in the Old Post Office Cafe Gallery, organising Kincraig Funday, on the community council… And that’s just for starters!

But, as some of you have told me, while villagers feel they know him they don’t really know much about him. So, for this episode, I’ve also taken a few anonymous questions from the audience and, by the end, you’ll definitely know him better.

This is a wide ranging chat (which you’ll hear surprises him at times!) covering all manner of subjects including his childhood influences, what he loves about working with young people, his many hobbies and how to work through conflict in relationships. And, of course, what he loves about Kincraig and where he gets his relentless community spirit from.

Do say hello to Ian if you see him out and about (which, if you ever venture out into Kincraig, you definitely will).

And if you have any other suggestions of characters in Kincraig to interview on this podcast, please email me on ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Kincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)