As manager of Apocalypse Video, I’ve had to deal with many things; roaming mutant hordes, nuclear fallout, occasional attacks by ptera-people - but never have I dealt with anything as fiendish and insulting as what I am presented with this week. And from my own employees nonetheless.

Despite everything I’ve done for them – a short eighteen hour work day, free mildly radiated popcorn, and a generous eight hours of PTO a year -- my staff is questioning my competency as a manager by having an OSHA consultant serve me with a cognitive assessment.

Let’s just say, if this test goes my way, I’ll be cutting that PTO policy in half…

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as I try to prove that I am, in fact, smarter than a 5th grader, are fellow cinephiles and fancy pants college graduates Jackie, Cody, and special guest: Janna (pronounced “Ya-nna”).

Listen as we discuss how John Kimble turns the once innocent Kindergarten class of Astoria Elementary School into a disturbing police state; we debate what the age cutoff would be for taking your kids to see Kindergarten Cop; and finally, we try to figure out exactly what the hell is going on between Crisp and his overbearing mother.

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Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to bring my toy back to the carpet, post haste!