Kinksters of Color

A yes given to make it home alive, a “you didn't say no,” and a partner who won't hear “not tonight”: when saying yes isn't the same as consenting.

Storm, Aquariaaa and Jazz on the difference between saying yes and actually consenting.
Too drunk to play? The only scene you're getting is a pillow, aspirin and crackers.
“You didn't say no” is not consent, and whoever says it is not a safe person.
Your partner isn't in the mood. Here's what a healthy response sounds like.
A man at a bus stop, a hello that may have saved a life, and why survival isn't consent.

⏱ CHAPTERS
00:00 “I don't want you to take my life” — the cold open
00:42 “You said yes, but did you consent?”
02:03 Bringing vanilla expectations into kink
03:11 “Kink is dangerous”? We're more consent-forward
05:24 And WE'RE the dangerous ones?
06:45 Who's actually having the consent conversation?
08:22 “Just because we played once doesn't equal every time”
09:03 Regular vs. enthusiastic vs. ongoing consent
11:06 From “whatever you want” to “wait, whoa”
12:35 When a yes turns into “can we end the scene?”
13:55 Story time: too much, too soon
16:13 How alcohol complicates consent
18:02 Too drunk to play? Here's a pillow
20:07 Why I don't play under the influence
21:16 Is silence a yes?
21:53 Topping someone after a few drinks
23:55 A drink for impact play, never for fire play
25:53 Is consent just saying yes?
27:19 Trauma, triggers and the questions to ask first
28:06 Can you consent without knowing the risk?
29:10 “Oh, no, not yet, not yet”
31:13 “Come on, you know you want to”
32:05 Your partner isn't owed access all the time
34:56 Going along with it isn't consent
35:50 What a healthy response to “no” sounds like
37:34 Inviting someone into your home
38:51 Exit strategies and public first dates
44:44 Giving your number to make it home safe
46:42 “I started agreeing with him”
48:34 Why my mom said hi back
50:37 Agreeing so you don't disappoint someone
51:00 Letting a scene run ten minutes too long
53:00 Finding the words to say no
55:47 Asking for consent can be sexy
56:48 Cockiness is the fastest no
58:03 Consent is something we practice
59:38 “Who raised you?”
62:12 “No is a complete sentence”

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Web: https://kinkstersofcolor.com
Business Inquiries: [email protected]

Comment what you want us to get into below — we might take it up in the next episode.

Two play partners at one party, a partner's jealous ultimatum, and why your partner doesn't get every detail of your other dynamics.

Aquariaaa and Jazz on running more than one kink dynamic at once:

• Why a play partner isn't automatically a sex partner
• The heads-up that keeps a night with two partners from going sideways
• Kitchen table vs. parallel poly — and who has feelings about it
• What happened when a partner said “prove it — don't play with them tonight”

⏱ CHAPTERS
00:00 “Parallel all the way” — the cold open
00:38 What running more than one dynamic looks like
02:55 “I try to stay neutral” — partners at one party
06:31 No two dynamics are identical
07:50 “I'm not sleeping with them” — kink isn't sex
09:10 Your partners are like your friends
11:19 Play partner vs. ongoing dynamic
13:17 Two dynamics with the same daddy energy
15:34 When one partner expects your whole night
16:34 “Hey, I'm on a date tonight”
19:37 Expectations at the party
20:57 “I assumed we were going to play”
23:12 Watching a partner play with someone else
24:33 Compersion, and poly with a capital P
26:55 What a new partner needs to know
29:35 “Am I calendaring responsibly?”
31:33 Your partner doesn't get every detail
34:18 “Do you want details?”
38:32 Kitchen table vs. parallel poly
41:01 When feelings change after six months
44:14 When they want more than you do
45:37 Being nice is not flirting
48:40 “I'm more of a lover girl”
50:40 When your partners' boundaries clash
52:32 “I do not respond to ultimatums”
56:17 Complicated, or manageable?

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Inner Circle: https://kinkstersofcolor.com/inner-circle
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#kinkstersofcolor #kocpodcast #polyamory #consentculture #blackpodcast

"Am I kinky enough?" A full toy bag, $200-600 leather pants, years in the scene: none of it makes you more credible. One kink still counts.

Jazz and Aquariaaa on who gets to call themselves kinky.

Doing fire play and still asking "am I kinky enough?"

Wanting to be a Dom doesn't make you one. No shame in the submissive game.

Name one Black kink movie that isn't on Tubi. We'll wait.

In the scene since 2008, and still trying things for the first time.

⏱ CHAPTERS

00:00 "Am I kinky enough?"

00:25 Labels, years, pain, the outfit: who's really legit?

02:20 Big toy bag, big show, no clue

04:04 Head-to-toe leather: looking the part vs. being it

07:04 First and last time I let someone pressure me

08:21 Is it a challenge, or are you being pushed?

11:54 "You can't force a label"

13:58 Thought I was a sub. My friends clocked the switch.

16:18 Switches don't have to pick a side

18:52 "Am I really kinky, or just vanilla plus?"

22:28 Start small, and be patient with yourself

25:05 Two classic kinks? You've already arrived

27:19 Social media shows the extremes, not the mundane

28:56 Where's our Fifty Shades? On Tubi.

29:53 A sea of white, and BIPOC kinksters as an afterthought

32:12 Why we need teachers who look like us

36:02 Try it yourself first, so nobody has to push you

37:54 Finding a kink you never would have considered

40:37 Time in the scene isn't credibility

41:47 Be the demo bottom, take the class for free

45:22 At a con, anyone could be your teacher

47:32 In the scene since 2008, still finding firsts

53:12 No prerequisite, and it's okay to take a break

54:35 "You are enough. You're kinky enough."

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CONNECT WITH US!

========================================

Inner Circle: https://kinkstersofcolor.com/inner-circle

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kinksters_of_color

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kinkstersofcolor3

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@KinkstersofColor

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/koc-podcast-ep-1/id6801684038

Web: https://kinkstersofcolor.com

========================================

Business Inquiries: [email protected]

========================================

Comment what you want us to get into below — we might take it up in the next episode.

#kinkstersofcolor #kocpodcast #sexpositive #blackpodcast #consentculture

"You straight? Are you gay? Which one are you?" Picking a label under pressure, why bi doesn't mean flirting with you, and how desire changes.

Storm, Aquariaaa and Jazz on sexuality that doesn't fit in one box. Told the family "I'm straight." Not a lie. Not the whole truth either. Asking a woman out and getting told where the outfit came from. Coming out as "not straight," and mom hearing something else entirely. Waiting until marriage is fine. Finding out after you jumped the broom is not.

⏱ CHAPTERS

00:00 "Which one are you?"
00:14 I should have known I was in there too
03:02 Bi doesn't mean I'm flirting with you
05:12 "Then they got annoying"
05:56 "I got this from Shein"
10:12 Straight, then bi, then queer, then demi
13:57 Instant with men, slow burn with women
14:46 "Hurry up. Pick one."
18:32 "Don't be surprised if I don't marry a man"
24:15 "Eyes up. Look here."
27:03 "I'm a little curvy"
29:26 Thin in a city that likes it thick
33:15 "I felt like a gremlin in Boston"
33:54 Raised to think sex is a duty
35:40 Sex as a chore vs. sex as a pleasure
36:39 "You can only love one person." Says who?
38:52 Dropping the shame
40:10 Find out before you jump the broom
42:00 When your partner says no to your kink
44:43 "A massage will get me there fastest"
45:17 Fun fact: I make paddles now

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⁠KOC Podcast

CONNECT WITH US!

Inner Circle:Inner Circle
Instagram:@kinksters_of_color
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⁠YouTube⁠
Apple Podcasts:KOC Podcast
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Business Inquiries:[email protected]

Comment what you want us to get into below — we might take it up in the next episode.

What your first kink event is actually like, what "mixed" really means on a flyer, and the rules nobody tells you until you break one.

Join us in our kinky BIPOC community anywhere:Inner Circle

Storm, Aquariaaa and Jazz on their first kink events and everything nobody hands you at the door.The flyer said "mixed." It meant three other POC.A babydoll dress in a sea of custom leather: cute, but not kinky enough.A man asked to be kicked as hard as possible. She told him she played soccer. He took that as a yes.And why one of us says being one of the few Black folks there made her the coolest one in it.

⏱ CHAPTERS

00:00 "That's not diverse for us"
00:28 I thought it was going to be Spartacus
04:14 "People actually use all of this?"
06:39 "Kick me as hard as you can"
08:59 Cute, but not kinky enough
11:13 Don't be the one everybody smells
15:13 What "mixed" actually meant
25:35 Circling the new face like sharks
27:18 Be yourself. Unless you're a predator.
28:17 "Put some respect on my name"
32:57 Don't interrupt a scene. Any scene.
35:51 Nobody told me POC spaces existed
40:02 Somebody write the kinktionary
43:58 "Mike Tyson, is that you?"
53:51 The coolest one in there
57:45 Neutral is fine

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CONNECT WITH US!

Inner Circle:Inner Circle
Instagram:@kinksters_of_color
TikTok:@kinkstersofcolor3

⁠YouTube⁠Apple Podcasts:KOC Podcast
Web:kinkstersofcolor.com

Business Inquiries:[email protected]

Comment what you want us to get into below — we might take it up in the next episode.

The difference between being desired and being fetishized, how to spot it inside thirty seconds, and exactly what to say back.

Join the #1 kinky BIPOC community anywhere: kinkstersofcolor.com/inner-circle

Storm, Aquariaaa and Jazz on the line between wanting somebody and collecting them. The tall one gets "I want to climb you like a tree." The short one gets "fun size." Neither is a compliment. The safety cue every top is trained to watch for — skin going red — does not show up on dark skin, so what are you actually looking for? And the man who used "CNC" in a DM to announce, in advance, that he would not stop.

Chapters ⏱️00:00 — "I don't know you"04:04 — Wanting us is not liking us08:11 — "I want to climb you like a tree"13:39 — It's a no for me, dog15:50 — The drink that was meant to loosen her up21:34 — Two of us in the room is not diversity31:15 — My cheeks are not going to turn red36:56 — Nobody Black at your event? Ask why45:34 — That's not CNC, that's an assault48:59 — "No, thank you"54:42 — Would you say it to a white girl?

Connect with us

• Inner Circle: kinkstersofcolor.com/inner-circle
• Instagram: @kinksters_of_color
• TikTok: @kinkstersofcolor3
• YouTube: @kinkstersofcolor
• Apple Podcasts: The KOC Podcast
• Web: kinkstersofcolor.com
• Business inquiries: [email protected]

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And tell us what you want us to get into — we might take it up in the next episode.

Heyyy 👋🏾💜 Storm and Aquariaaa on kinky vs freaky: the kink that has nothing to do with sex, and why everybody's a dom until you ask them how.

Kink and freaky are not the same thing, and the gap between them is where most of the confusion lives.

We got into it. Why people actually come to this — curiosity more than anything. The kink that has nothing to do with sex at all, and what it's really regulating. Why spanking your kid once did not qualify you for impact play. And what happens when you ask somebody who calls themselves a dom to explain how.

Also: please, please do not try fire play at home.

⏱ CHAPTERS00:00 Spanking a kid isn't a qualification07:33 It's a funeral in your bedroom11:53 Kink isn't always about sex23:08 Please don't try fire play at home25:38 Everybody wants to be a dom now30:25 Match your kink or match your freak

💬 Kinky or freaky — which one are you? Come tell us, we're reading.

📲 FOLLOW KOCInstagram: @kinksters_of_colorTikTok: @kinkstersofcolor3Threads: @kinksters_of_colorYouTube: @KinkstersofColor

🔑 Some conversations happen on the mic. Some don't.Join the Inner Circle → kinkstersofcolor.com/inner-circle

Heyyy 👋🏾💜 Storm, Aquariaaa and Jazz on vetting: the question that exposes a fake dom, why hesitation is a no, and the red flag that shows up after.

This one came from yall. After episode one the questions kept landing on the same thing: what does vetting actually look like, and how are you supposed to know before you know?

So we got into it. What we ask. What we watch for. Who we've removed and why. The party that took everybody's money and never happened. The bag full of toys and the man who couldn't name a single one. And the tell that says more than any of it, which doesn't show up until the scene is already over.

Vetting isn't an insult. It's how everybody gets to have a good time.

⏱ CHAPTERS
00:00 Yes, women get removed too
04:19 If they hesitate, that's a no
09:28 Why we don't let everybody in
21:52 You can break somebody
30:55 They took the money and vanished
34:38 Mandatory is not consent
38:59 One question exposes a fake
40:11 He didn't know what it was called
48:10 The red flag is what happens after

💬 How do yall vet? Drop it below — somebody newer is reading this and it'll help.

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Podcasts: creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/kinkstersofcolor
Instagram: @kinksters_of_color
TikTok: @kinkstersofcolor3
Threads: @kinksters_of_color
YouTube: @KinkstersofColor

🔑 Some conversations happen on the mic. Some don't.
Join the Inner Circle → kinkstersofcolor.com/inner-circle

#KinkstersOfColor #ConsentCulture #KinkPodcast #BlackKinksters #AtlantaPodcast

Heyyy 👋🏾✨ Welcome to episode one of the Kinksters of Color (KOC) Podcast! Storm, Aquariaaa and Jazz — the folks behind Kinksters of Color in Atlanta — pour up and get into how they each found their way into kink, what the letters in BDSM actually stand for, why being judgmental is a safety feature, electro play and the glitter situation, primal play, wolf eyes, & so much more. Grab your drank and pull up.

📲 FOLLOW KOC

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https://www.tiktok.com/@kinkstersofcolor3
https://www.threads.com/@kinksters_of_color
https://www.youtube.com/@KinkstersofColor

🔑 Some conversations happen on the mic. Some don't.
https://kinkstersofcolor.com

#KinkstersOfColor #BlackKinksters #KinkPodcast #ConsentCulture #AtlantaPodcast