This week, Susie & Gyles delve into the enigmatic realm of ‘kismet’, a word that dances on the fine line between fate and chance.



So purple people, whether you believe in destiny or rather just enjoy a good linguistic twist, let’s unravel the threads of fate together.



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Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week: 



Gastrolater: A lover of food. A glutton.



Estivate - To spend the summer.



Eye chatter - A flirtatious glance.



Gyles' poem this week was ‘Two Dead Boys’ by Anon:



One fine day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight,

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.



One was blind and the other couldn't see,

So they chose a dummy for referee,

A blind went to see the fair play,

A dumb man went to shout "hooray".



A paralysed donkey passing by,

Kicked the blind man in the eye,

Knocked him trough a nine inch wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.



A deaf police man heard the noise,

And came to arrest the two dead boys,

If you do’t believe my story, it's true,

Ask the blind man he saw it too!



A Sony Music Entertainment production.  



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Kismet

Susie Dent and Gyles Brandreth invite you to enhance your vocabulary, uncover the hidden origins of language and share their love of words in this award-winning podcast.
 
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Arts

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*Cough cough*... This week Susie and Gyles explore the language of diseases. From Cholera to Mumps, and Malaria to Influenza, they have you covered.



Also, we reveal the WINNERS of our 'To Dent' and 'To Brandreth' competition!



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Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week: 



Shackbaggerly: Disordered and unkempt.

Komorebi (Japanese): The patterns cast by sunlight filtering through trees.

Gruttling (old East Anglian dialect): A strange, inexplicable noise.



Gyles' poem this week was 'Sick Room' by Billy Collins



Every time Canaletto painted Venice

he painted her from a different angle,



sometimes from point of view

he must have imagined,



for there is no place in the city

he could have stood and observed such scenes.



How ingenious of him to visualise

a dome or canal from any point in space.



How passionate he was

to delineate Venice from perspectives



that required him to mount the air

and levitate there with his floating brush.



But I have been sick in this bed

for over sixty hours,



and I am not Canaletto,

and this airless little room,



with its broken ceiling fan

and it monstrous wallpaper, is not Venice.

A Sony Music Entertainment production.  



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Botulus

This week, Susie and Gyles unravel the intricate history of dictionaries, those indispensable guides that serve as gateways to language. From ancient lexicons to modern compendiums, we explore how dictionaries have shaped our understanding of words and the world around us. And Gyles lets us know how his weight lifting is going...



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Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week: 



Idioticon : A dialect dictionary.

Limbeck: To rack the brain and exhaust yourself in an effort to come up with a new idea.

Proggle: To poke, prod, or grubble about.



Gyles' poem this week was 'Shakespeare at School' by Wendy Cope



Forty boys on benches with their quills

Six days a week through almost all the year,

Long hours of Latin with relentless drills

And repetition, all enforced by fear.

I picture Shakespeare sitting near the back,

Indulging in a risky bit of fun

By exercising his prodigious knack

Of thinking up an idiotic pun,

And whispering his gem to other boys,

Some of whom could not suppress their mirth –

Behaviour that unfailingly annoys

Any teacher anywhere on earth.

The fun was over when the master spoke:

Will Shakespeare, come up here and share the joke.



A Sony Music Entertainment production.  



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Fascicles

This week Susie and Gyles get lost in the world of nonsensical language, and embrace the weird, wacky and wonderful ways the English language can be.



Your favourite duo also pay homage to the masters of nonsensical language – Dr. Seuss, whose fantastical worlds and playful rhymes have enchanted generations of readers; Spike Milligan, the irreverent genius known for his zany humor and inventive wordplay; and Edward Lear, the Victorian poet and artist renowned for his witty limericks and nonsensical verse.



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Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week: 



Spissitude: Thickness or compactness. 

Latescent: Slowly becoming hidden. 

Gronk: Fluff between your toes.



Gyles' poem this week was 'The Owl and the Pussy-Cat' by Edward Lear



I

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea

   In a beautiful pea-green boat,

They took some honey, and plenty of money,

   Wrapped up in a five-pound note.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,

   And sang to a small guitar,

"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,

    What a beautiful Pussy you are,

         You are,

         You are!

What a beautiful Pussy you are!"



II

Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl!

   How charmingly sweet you sing!

O let us be married! too long we have tarried:

   But what shall we do for a ring?"

They sailed away, for a year and a day,

   To the land where the Bong-Tree grows

And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood

   With a ring at the end of his nose,

             His nose,

             His nose,

   With a ring at the end of his nose.



III

"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling

   Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."

So they took it away, and were married next day

   By the Turkey who lives on the hill.

They dined on mince, and slices of quince,

   Which they ate with a runcible spoon;

And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,

   They danced by the light of the moon,

             The moon,

             The moon,

They danced by the light of the moon.



A Sony Music Entertainment production.  



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Bafflegab

This week Susie and Gyles delve back into a favourite topic, shoes.



Inspired by purple person Kevin, the origins of all manner of footwear are discussed such as Oxford's, Brogue's and Gibson's. 



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Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week: 



Obloquy: public condemnation.

Myrmidon: Someone who unscrupulously follows someone more powerful. 

Naiad: a nymph of lakes, springs and rivers.



Gyles' poem this week is called 'Life Is Like A Pair Of New Shoes' by Cameron Delaney



Life's like a pair of new shoes

Their sparkling brand-new white hues

The stiff soles and laces

Tied up tightly like braces

That eventually wear down as you use





Life's like a pair of new shoes

They go in directions you choose

Down city street blocks

Wherever you walk

They stride along as you cruise





Lifes like a pair of new sneaks

When you first try to wear 'em they squeak

You run down the court

Of an athletic sport

And you show off your skilled techniques





Life's like a pair of new boots

Some fashionable leather beauts

You strut through the city

And you look real pretty

In your white collar buisness suits





Life's like a pair of new shoes

That wear out from years of good use

But soon they get old

And the insides have mold

And by the trashcan we say our "adieus"



A Sony Music Entertainment production.

  



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Oxford, Gibson and Brogue

Sathnam has written Empireland and more recently Empireworld, two bestselling books which have garnered him critical acclaim, a Channel 4 documentary and which - even more crucially - have changed the national discourse around our colonial past. Without necessarily meaning to, Sathnam has become a historian. But his success has not been uncomplicated: he’s suffered horrendous racist abuse which has changed the way he goes out into the world (sometimes).

On How to Fail Sathnam discusses how he avoids joining in, the importance of saying thank you and why the best teachers can make a lifelong impact. Plus: why nuance in discussion is often ignored but absolutely vital.



How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

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Kismet

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