Should I take my ex back? I’ve been asking myself that question over and over—even after the lies, the yelling, the splits, the silence. And the worst part? I still wanted her.

In this episode, I talk about the confusing, chaotic space between what your heart wants and what your nervous system remembers. I get honest about what it's like when your ex finally starts trying, when they say the right things, when they feel like the version of them you always hoped they'd be... but you're still scared.

If you've ever missed someone who hurt you, felt tempted to go back because you're lonely, or wondered whether it's real change or just emotional survival—this one's for you.

💋 What I cover:
– Should you take your ex back?
– Why you still want them (even after everything)
– Emotional craving vs. actual connection
– When they finally try, but you're still scared
– The fear of being alone
– And how to tell if it’s love… or just relief

🎧 Listen to Kisses and Chaos on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your weekly dose of messy girl therapy.

Because sometimes wanting them isn’t enough—and knowing your worth means not going back just to stop the pain.

Are you stuck in a loop of “why does this always happen to me?” Baby… it might be victim mentality. In this spicy and soul-shaking episode, i’m getting  real about how trauma, anxiety, and control issues keep us in a cycle of learned helplessness—and how the law of detachment can set you free. We’re talking signs you’re stuck in victim mode, how to rewire your brain, stop chasing people who don’t choose you, and finally glow the f*ck up. Plus: my personal story of how letting go led to my viral moment (yep, detachment really is that girl). It’s time to drop the pity party and reclaim your power.

I’ve had my fair share of fake friends — the ones who smile to your face but secretly gossip, compete with you, and disappear the second you start healing. In this episode, I’m sharing the full story of one of the most toxic friendship breakups I’ve ever had (yes, she trauma bonded with me and then teamed up with my ex… iconic). I talk about the red flags I ignored and why I’ll never settle for one-sided loyalty again. If you’ve been burned by a fake friend, felt drained after hanging out, or questioned your worth because of toxic friendship dynamics — this episode is your sign to protect your peace and let that shit go. It’s time to stop making excuses and start choosing real friends who actually clap when you win.

Ever felt like you're begging someone to love you the right way and no matter how clearly you explain your needs, they still make you feel like you're asking for too much? Yeah... same.

In this episode, I’m getting real about what it’s like to be deeply misunderstood in a relationship. I talk about trying again with my ex (no contact), giving her all of me — no walls, no resentment, just love — and still being blamed, gaslit, and made to feel like my love language (gifts 💌) was something to be ashamed of.

We get into the psychology behind love language shame, emotional gaslighting, splitting, and that moment when I was pushed so far I autistic screamed — because the emotional overload was just too much.

If you’ve ever had to over-explain your feelings, beg someone to show up for you, or felt like your softness was always “too much” for them to handle… this episode is going to hit.

🎧 Let’s talk:

• Toxic love & relationship gaslighting

• Why love languages aren’t shallow

• Emotional invalidation & attachment trauma

• How to stop begging and start choosing you

You weren’t too much.
You were just asking the wrong person.

Hi babe. This one’s for the days you feel like absolute shit.

We’re talking breakdowns, rock bottoms, the “I don’t want to be here anymore” kind of sadness and how I slowly, chaotically, rewired my brain and crawled out of the dark. I’m diving into my own story, the real psychology behind why we get stuck in depression spirals, and the tiny, unsexy-but-powerful habits that actually helped me get my life back.

This isn’t a glow up episode.

It’s survival. It’s soft. It’s science. And it’s hot mess healing energy.

Let’s fix our brains, one sad girl step at a time. 💋

This one is pure chaos. I found texts in her phone saying I wasn’t her type — but she wanted festival access. Then she got drunk at my music video (while Renee Rapp was there), screamed at me, and passed out. Oh, and she joined my live the other day. Also: she’s now dating a girl from our friend group.

I give you the full limerence breakdown: what it is, why I stayed, and why I finally had to walk away. Plus a happy birthday text from no contact, CEOs major crash out, and reconnecting with my first-ever girlfriend — who we’re now calling Riverbend.

It’s giving toxic, nostalgic, and maybe a little hopeful.

Turning 28 used to terrify me—because I thought I’d be married by now, maybe a mom, definitely “figured out.” But plot twist: I’m not. And I’m finally okay with that. In this raw, glittery episode of Kisses and Chaos, I dive deep into why feeling “behind” in life is actually a lie, the psychology behind timeline anxiety, and how I went from multiple engagements and identity crises to fully owning my Forevermore era. We talk self-worth, social clocks, puffer jacket breakdowns, and why your 30s might be the best thing ever. ✨

You’re not late. You’re just becoming.

I swore it was one last time. Just one final hookup for closure… and now I’m more confused than ever. In this episode, we’re diving into toxic sex, love bombing vs. real change, and why “closure” with your ex is usually just chaos in disguise.

Rate the pod, tell your ex I hate them, and let’s suffer together, bestie 💋

She love bombed me, joined my Twitch, called me her dream girl… then disappeared like a cheap magic trick. In this ep, we’re roasting ghosters, reclaiming our hotness, and reminding ourselves: no response is a response, babe. And it screams “I’m a coward.” Let’s laugh, glow up, and move the fuck on. 💅💋

Yep… she cheated. And not just once. In this episode of Kisses and Chaos 💋, I share how I found out—straight from her ex—that my ex (no contact) had been cheating on me more than I ever knew. We’re getting all the way into it: the shock, the heartbreak, and the healing. I’m breaking down how to stop blaming yourself, why their cheating is a reflection of them (never you), and how to take your power back when someone tries to shatter your self-worth. If you’ve ever been betrayed and blamed yourself—you need this episode.