Knowledge For Men Archives

Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Running Press, 2003)

Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications.

Through his book, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world.

Favorite Quote

“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun”~Audrey Hepburn

Key Points

1. Nothing Hidden Nothing Half-assed

To stop being the nice guy and unleash your inner badass, you have to stop hiding and stop half assing. Stop hiding what you are thinking because you are afraid of what other people will say about you. Stop hiding your thoughts and feelings towards women because you are afraid it will upset them and cause tension. Stop bull shitting people to make them happy. Be you

Once you stop lying and keeping things hidden, you must stop half assing things. If you are going to do something, go all in, hold nothing back. If you are half assing, it is probably a sign that you are doing something that is incongruent with who you are and your mission in life, and you should likely reevaluate your reasons for doing it.

2. You Already Have Enough Information

The problem facing most guys today is not lack of information, but rather a lack of action on the information they already know. You already know everything that you need to know to begin taking the action that will help you achieve your goals in your dating, physical, and financial lives. It’s simple.

To be healthy, eat whole foods and exercise everyday. To get good with women, talk to more women. To become rich, work hard on a side hustle until you can quit your job and then save and invest at least 15% of your income. Simple right?

But are you taking the action?

3. Women Need Emotional Tension

Something that most men do not understand is that women want positive tension in their lives (why do you think they enjoy those damn soap operas?). They want a man who will challenge them and tease them. They want a man who is completely unafraid of their reaction.

The best ways to build emotional tension are to touch, tease, and tell.

Touch her playfully throughout the interaction. Touch her arm, spin her, hold her hand, break the touch barrier, the sooner the better. Tease her in a kind hearted way that shows you are a challenge and may even get close to crossing the line every once in awhile. And finally, just freaking tell her what it on your mind. Don’t play games and don’t bullshit.

Build the tension and be brutally honest.

(Touch tease and tell)

Raised on the South Side of Johannesburg, South Africa, Rodney King has been fighting for nearly his entire life. Rodney has been practicing martial arts since a young adult, using his skills to protect himself from violence in his school and community. At 17 Rodney was kicked out of his home by his abusive, alcoholic mother.

Now, many years later, Rodney coaches and trains special forces soldiers, entrepreneurs, and other high performers in martial arts and self management. He has written a book called “Full Contact Living“ and is completing his PHd in embodied leadership.

Favorite Success Quote

“The principles of success are easy to understand but hard to master”

Key Points

1. In Order to Have Success You Have to Put in the Work

Success does not come without work. No matter who you are or how good you believe you are, success does not come without work. You have to put your nose to the grindstone and work, sometimes for years before your goals will come to fruition.

You have to go through the phase of being at the bottom of the totem pole, being completely incompetent before you can become the master.

In order to have success, you have got to put in the work!

2. Perfection is an Illusion

No matter how good you become, you will never be perfect. Perfectionism is a disease that prevents you from living your life to the fullest. If you want to perform at your best, let go of perfectionism, you will never be perfect, but you can be excellent.

You will never be perfect, but you can become a master.

3. Your Body’s Attitude is Crucial 

Managing your state is an essential part of success. If your body is slouched and appears weak, you will also feel weak. However, if you have strong posture, stand up straight, smile, and take deep breaths, you will feel powerful and in charge.

Your state helps you to manage your life and take better charge of your emotions and mental state. Learn to master it and there is nothing that you cannot do.

4. Learn What You Need to Learn, Set the Intention and Take Action

The simplest formula for success is this. Learn what you need to learn, set your intention, and take the action.

If you want to become a successful entrepreneur, read, get mentors, and take course until you have the knowledge that you need, set your goal, and start taking massive action to achieve it.

No matter what your goal is, this formula will be the same whether you want to gain muscle, get better with women, become a great father, or start a billion dollar business.

Mark Palm, the president of Samaritan Aviation was raised as a pastor’s son and from a very young age has had a passion for people and aviation. Mark currently holds a Commercial Pilot’s license with an Instrumental Float-plane rating as well as an FAA Aircraft Mechanic’s license.

January, 2010, Mark and his wife Kirsten moved to Wewak, Papua New Guinea to begin Flight Operations in the East Sepik Province. They currently live in Wewak with their three children Sierra, Drake, and Nolan where they run Samaritan Aviation, a company dedicated to providing medical and missional help and support to the people of Papua New Guinea.

Favorite Quote

“Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you”

Key Points

1. We are Here to Make a Difference

So often, it is easy to get caught up in making a name for yourself that you forget why we are really here. It’s easy to get caught up in making millions of dollars, having the beautiful wife, the white picket fence, and a safe, cozy lifestyle, that you forget we aren’t here for ourselves. We are here to make a difference.

No matter whether you believe in God, the Universe, or Mother Nature, whoever and whatever put us on this earth didn’t do so arbitrarily, and your existence isn’t an accident. You are here to put a dent in the universe, but that can only happen when you take your eyes off of yourself and start looking towards others.

Even if you believe in no higher power, there is no life better lived than a life of service and impact to others. And the wonderful thing is, living an awesome life full of fast cars, amazing relationships, and travel and living a life of purpose are not mutually exclusive. In fact, if you approach it right, they are often the two most inclusive lifestyles you can live.

2. The Things That Bother You Are Trivial

In the west, we get angry when our wifi is slow, or when we have to slow down our $30,000 car by 20 miles an hour because of traffic. And we allow these petty little things to bother us and we carry them with us throughout our day, never once thinking about how incredibly unimportant these things really are.

You are blessed if you have the means to listen to this podcast. Realize that and quit allowing trivial “problems” to run your life.

3. Listen to Those Who Have Been there Before 

One of the best investments you will ever make is into your relationships, particularly your relationships with people who have come before you and can guide you along the best paths.

Whether you are looking to become wealthy, have an amazing marriage, incredible health, make an amazing impact, or have an impeccable spiritual life, find someone who has done if before you and has the results that you want and learn from them. It could be a father or a mother, a friend, a stranger, or even a book. But be sure that you have mentors guiding you through life, because only a fool doesn’t learn from the mistakes of others.

4. Make Your Word Mean Something

One of the most underrated characteristics of a modern man is integrity. Make your word count.

If you say something, you do it. Period.

There are no ifs, ands, or buts. Be a man of your word always. People will respect you more, you will respect yourself more, and your life will become more meaningful and worthwhile when you become known as a man of integrity.

Mark Manson is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he’s been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries.

Favorite Quote

“One day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful”~Sigmund Freud

Key Points

1. What Struggle Are You Willing to Face

One of the best questions that you can ask yourself in life is not “what are my goals” or “what am I passionate about” but rather “How much pain and struggle am I willing to go through?”

Because the simple fact is this, there is no great achievement in life without pain.

You will not become successful at business without going through the pain of sleepless nights, losing money, and having products fail. You will not have a happy fulfilled marriage without first going through rejections, marital struggles, and painful self work. You won’t get a great body without getting off your ass and hitting the gym.

There is no achievement without pain, so the question that you need to ask is “How much pain am I willing to endure?” There is no right or wrong answer, but if you tell yourself that you want to be a bodybuilder, millionaire, playboy and you aren’t willing to get up, go to the gym, do work on your business, and go out on dates, then you need to reevaluate your pain tolerance and adjust accordingly.

2. It’s Important for Life to Suck Sometimes 

Many self help gurus would have you believe that life is all sunshine and roses and that nothing bad ever happens to you if you just say this one affirmation every morning. But that’s a load of bullcrap.

Life is going to suck sometimes, if you do things wrong, it’s going to suck a lot of the time. However, this is not a bad thing. No great man was ever forged without first facing some adversity. It is the times where life sucks that you will have your biggest breakthroughs and learn the most about yourself.

Embrace the suck, and use it to make your best life.

3. Happiness Comes from Problems 

In continuing with the theme of pain being a positive in life, an important realization to come to is that hapiness and fulfillment do not come from a lack of problems, but rather from solving worthwhile problems.

For some people, this means solving problems in business and figuring out how to impact more people with a limited budget or how to launch a new product when the last one failed. For others this is how to build and raise an amazing family when your marriage is strained and your children don’t respect you.

If you are unhappy in life, chances are the quality of the problems that you are fixing is very low, or worse yet, you aren’t actually taking action to fix the problems you have in the first place.

Realize that solving problems is what brings fulfillment and if you are feeling a sense of lack in your life, simply find better problems to solve whether they are physical, relational, financial, or spiritual.

4. Screw Finding Your Passion

Guess what? You are not entitled to anything. So many people today will tell you that you somehow deserve to make millions doing what you love as if that is one of our “God given and inalienable rights” but the cold truth is that it isn’t.

Instead of focusing on finding your passions, simply do more of what you enjoy doing already. If you can find a way to build it into a business and monetize it, then great, if not, then work a job your enjoy and follow what you are passionate about on the side.

Just because you’re passionate about playing Jazz flute doesn’t mean that you should pack up from your high end executive job that you enjoy, pays well, and allows you to be around for your children to pursue a career as a professional musician, because the simple fact is, even if you do that, there will come a time when playing jazz flute sucks.

No matter how much you love something, there will come a day when you simply don’t feel like waking up and doing it that day. Passion or no.

5. Do Something

Feeling lost?

Do something, anything.

Feeling stuck?

Do something, anything.

As Churchill once said “The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

If you are struggling to find the motivation or passions in your life, then just do something. Take a trip, start a new job, launch a blog, just do something.

Jason is a top business and executive coach. He’s a leading expert on human behavior, influence, sales, networking, and leadership. At the heart of his strategy is the understanding that people and your relationships are your true “wealth.” Everything we accomplish in life is with or through other people.

He works with experts, entrepreneurs and executives to help them get known and stand out by building key skill sets and right relationships, creating their brand platform and purpose (including helping them get to the next stage in their business/career), and improving their business strategies/processes. You can reach him at www.BeExtraordinary.tv and to get free networking, personal branding, and other free guides.

Favorite Success Quote

If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.”~Brene Brown

Key Points

1. Align Internally 

Before you can truly begin down the path to mastering your relationships, both personal and professional, you must start by mastering the one relationship you have total control over; your relationship with yourself.

To truly become the social genius that you have the potential to be, you must first align internally. This means that you have to be grounded and on purpose, moving your life in a positive direction. It does not mean you have to be perfect, it means that you have to love yourself and constantly work on improving yourself.

Gain control of your emotions, take care of your body, feed your mind good information, do things that light you up with a passion. The more aligned you are internally, the more aligned you will show up externally and the better your relationships will be.

2. Emotions are Key

Whenever you are in any social situation, you must remember that emotions are key. This is true of your emotions and the emotions of others.

Understanding what people are feeling, and what they want to feel will allow you to properly assess your actions and maximize your social value within each situation. Everything people do is based on emotion, learn to understand and harness this power, and your social life will sky rocket.

3. Find Your Sweet Spot

No matter whether you are an employee or entrepreneur, your life will be improved drastically if you work within what Brian Tracy calls your “Area of Genius.” Everyone has a unique gift that can almost always be used in the company they work for or run, it’s up to you to find it.

If you are miserable at your IT job because you love working with people and hate the office, consider switching to something in sales. Find what makes you light up, and crush it.

4. Become an Introducer

One of the most powerful social skills that you can learn is the art of the introduction. Even with people that you just met, if you can increase someone’s social circle while speaking their praises in front of them, you will become instantly liked and appreciated in every social circle you work in.

Although it may seem daunting at first, it’s really as simple as selecting two people that you know (or even don’t know) and simply telling them that you would like to introduce them to someone. You will rarely if ever get turned down and it will add obscene social value in any situation.

Jeffrey Platts is passionate about helping men design and live that has them feeling fully alive. He’s obsessed with finding out what keeps people from being their most authentic. Which is actually what is most attractive. Not just physically. Professionally, financially, emotionally, sexually, socially, spiritually. 

Jeffrey Platts is a men’s life and love coach with a background in salsa dancing, world traveling and yoga instruction.

Favorite Success Quote

“Whatever I think the world is withholding from me, I am withholding from the world”~Eckhart Tolle

“The cave you fear to enter contains the treasure you seek”~Joseph Campbell

Key Points

1. If You Want External Change, You Have to Start Internally 

On the road to success, in whatever field, be it financially, socially, physically, or emotionally, the change starts inside. No change will happen in your external world without first taking the time to do the deep internal work of finding your why, crushing mental barriers, and setting a clear vision just to name a few.

You need to realize that if you want to see success, you have to work from the inside out and be willing to put in the time and effort on yourself before you will see the results that you are looking for.

2. Your Identity Determines Your Outcomes

Often times, when individuals try to change, a huge stumbling block that they run into is that the identity that they have held for years is incongruent with the new path that they are on.

If you have told yourself that you are a smoker for nearly 20 years, you will find it damn hard to quit smoking because that habit is so tied up in your identity. Therefor, if you want to make any sort of appreciable changes in your life, part of the inner work you need to start with is developing a new positive identity in yourself.

Develop an identity of a man who is disciplined, who is hardworking, who is innovative, who is smart, who is whatever you want to be. Only when your identity is aligned with your goals will you begin to achieve them.

3. Comparison Will Kill Your Dreams

The fastest way to live a miserable, unhappy life is to constantly be in comparison. Guess what, someone will always be richer than you, better looking than you, have a better family than you, date more attractive women than you, and drive a faster car than you.

But that is completely irrelevant.

All that matters is that you are competing with yourself. Are you living up to your full potential within the circumstances that you were given going after the goals you have set? Other people are born with different assets and skills than you and often had successes that came from hardships you would never wish upon your worst enemy.

Learn to congratulate others on their successes without being threatened by them. As the old clique goes, “The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”

4. Be Who You Want to be Unapologetically 

In society, we are all encouraged to fit in. So fill the social mold and to do what everyone else is doing. This leaves very little room for authenticity and a life on your terms.

Just be who you are unapologetically and don’t worry about what society thinks. Do you love salsa dancing and yoga? Who cares that society sees this as less manly than MMA and Crossfit! Do you want to commit to a loving and monogamous marriage? Who cares that society will tell you that you are less of a man for sleeping with fewer women.

Be who you are and who you want to be completely and without apology.

Rolf Potts is the author of two books, Vagabonding and Marco Polo Didn’t Go There. He has reported from more than sixty countries for the likes of National Geographic Traveler, The New Yorker, Slate.com, the New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic, The Believer, National Public Radio, and the Travel Channel.

His adventures have taken him across six continents, and include piloting a fishing boat 900 miles down the Laotian Mekong, hitchhiking across Eastern Europe, traversing Israel on foot, bicycling across Burma, driving a Land Rover across South America, and traveling around the world for six weeks with no luggage or bags of any kind.

Favorite Success Quote “From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines, Going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently,but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.”

~Walt Whitman The Song of the Open Road

Key Points

1. Throw off Societal Constraints

Today, especially in Western culture, we are indoctrinated from birth with a long and painful list of ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’. We all “should” go to college, get good grades, get a job, and then work for forty years before we allow ourselves to travel and explore. We all “must” live life for the weekends and do a corporate job with a steady paycheck. Or else….

Or else what?

If you want to live a rich, interesting, and fulfilling life, then you need to reexamine many of the constraints that society has put upon you and your dreams. If you want to travel do it. If you want to start a business, then do it.

If you want to work a corporate job and get the white picket fence life, there is no shame in that. IF that is truly what you want. But if you are putting off your dreams and desires because you don’t think friends, family, or society would approve, then it’s time to wake up and realize that you only get one shot at this life. You need to live it to the fullest.

2. Pause, Search and Receive

That said, do not throw away the wisdom of the generations that came before you. Just because they came from a different time with different technological capabilities and lifestyle opportunities does not mean that you should ignore advice from those more seasoned than you.

Before you act, pause. Think about what you are doing and the ramifications from a realistic standpoint. Then search. Search for the best way that you can proceed and and develop a plan of action. And finally receive. Receive the advice, criticisms, and input from others and filter through and apply it accordingly.

3. Travel is Much Easier, Cheaper, and Safer than You  Think

Many people believe that travel is too difficult, expensive, or dangerous. But the simple fact is, if you do it right, there has never been a time in human history where travel was easier, cheaper, or safer.

You can fly across the world for less than $1,000. If you have savings or some form of location independent income, you can live like a king in many other countries for pennies on the dollar. And if you keep your head on you and use common sense, most of the dangers can be avoided by living like a local and staying far away from the touristy areas.

5. Time is Your Most Important Currency

You can always earn more money, but your time is an ever draining and finite resource with an unknown limit. You could die today, tomorrow, or 20 years from now and you have no way of knowing.

People treat time like it is a cheap commodity instead of a precious resource. You will never get a single second of your life back, it is time to start living accordingly. Go after the things you want, take the year long trip of self discovery, talk to the girl, forgive the person that hurt you.

Stop acting like you will live forever, because the tragic truth is this. You won’t. No one will.

4. Minimalism Makes Life Easier  

Getting rid of your crap opens up your schedule and your life to new and incredible opportunities that are otherwise unavailable when you are constantly caught up in and worried about all of your “stuff.” While this might be hard to understand, especially if you come from a hyper-materialistic society, minimalizing your life can be one of the best things you can do.

Sell or donate the things you don’t use and see what sort of adventures you get into when you can keep all of your possessions in one suitcase. Or better yet, do what Rolf did and travel without a suitcase!

Mas Sajady has always been intuitively gifted. Like many others, he tried to hide or ignore his highly intuitive nature so he could “fit in”. It is for this reason Mas has always strongly advised parents to support children who have similar affinities. It literally took Mas two near death experiences to awaken and embrace his abilities.

He started working on clients professionally in November of 2009. Within less than a year, he had worked on over a thousand individuals who were drawn to him by referral.

Through his daily mediation sessions and frequent speaking engagements worldwide, Mas has been able to touch countless individuals around the world. Whether it is physical or emotional health, finances, relationships or spirituality, Mas can change your frequency in order to Be Limitless & enjoy 360° of Abundance in all aspects of your life.

Favorite Quote

“Change your frequency, change your life”

Key Points

1. Set a Vision for Yourself

If you want to start creating an amazing life, have true fulfillment and start living a life that is on purpose, you first must develop a vision. Develop a vision that lights a spark in your eye and a fire in your belly, something that you can truly be passionate about, even if at first the vision is more focused on the external.

As you continue to grow and progress as a man, so too will your vision and the important thing is that you have a vision you are moving towards. If you begin to reach your vision and realize that it is not for you, then simply course correct and keep moving forward.

2. Fulfillment Doesn’t Come from External Sources

Society would have us all believe that fulfillment comes from the fancy cars, the big houses, the beautiful trophy wives and expensive trips to Italy, however, the truth is that fulfillment is something that is internal.

True fulfillment comes when your actions are aligned with your life’s purpose, it comes when you are whole as a man and actively contributing to making the world better.

An extra 0 at the end of your paycheck will not fulfill you. Becoming the best version of yourself and following your vision will.

3. Try as Many Things as Possible 

Life is short and full of possibility. Seek to try as many things as you possibly can. Actively pursue new and exciting experiences and things that will challenge your perception of the world. Become a “yes man” when it comes to new things and never turn your nose up at an experience because it is weird of out of your comfort zone.

4. Complete Yourself First 

Many people try to “complete” others or problems in their environments without first operating from a place of completion themselves. You see this when a young man dervies his identity from a woman he is dating or a high level executive finds all of his self worth from his business.

But what happens when the girl leaves and the business tanks?

You are left with a broken and incomplete man who is completely lost.

It is essential to your success that you start by working on yourself first. You need to become a self reliant, whole and complete man before you can truly impact the world in a great way.

Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you try and save those around you.

Neil Patel is a Seattle, Washington-based entrepreneur, angel investor, and analytics expert. He is best known for his work in digital marketing, and as the cofounder of the analytics companies KISSmetrics, Crazy Egg, and Quick Sprout

Favorite Success Quote

“When things are looking good, always remember that someone else out there always has it better than you. And when things are going badly for you, remember someone has it worse”

Key Points

1. Do Not Operate from Emotion 

One of the biggest mistake that people, especially entrepreneurs, make is that they operate from emotion and not logic. Like the opening success quote, it is important that you always remember that someone out there has it better and is kicking your butt at business, but someone out there also always has it worse and the failures you are facing are not life changing.

Stay grounded as a man in your decision making. Always take some time and breathe whenever you feel overwhelmed and simply think through the situation logically. (Something Andrew and many guests have suggested for controlling your emotions are cold showers and meditation.)

2. When You Are Young You Have Nothing to Lose

So often, young people allow fear to stop them from taking action without realizing one simple fact…. you have nothing to lose.

When you are a young single guy, without a mortgage, car payments, or child support to pay, you are free. So start your business. The best thing that can happen is that you succeed and make millions, the likely outcome is that you will make some money but it won’t be your big break, the worst thing is that you learn.

Is learning really that bad?

3. Keep Making Mistakes and Keep Learning 

No matter where you are in business, always be learning. Look at every “failure” as an opportunity instead of a mistake. Each time that something doesn’t work or turn out how you want it to, you have the choice to decide to analyze the opportunity and learn from it.

And remember, the more you learn, the more you earn.

4. Business is a Game; Play a Game You Enjoy 

No matter what business you are in, it is all a game. A game that you should be playing to win, but a game no less. Be sure that you are playing a game that you enjoy.

If you are in a business that you don’t enjoy, you are setting yourself up for failure before you begin. Succeeding in life and business is hard, it’s significantly harder if you aren’t passionate about working ridiculous hours, staying up late, waking up early, and making sacrifices.

5. Focus on One Idea and Go All or Nothing 

When you are first starting out in entrepreneurship, it’s very easy to get sucked into a million different projects and gigs without focusing on one to master.

Find something that you enjoy and freaking crush it! Go after it with everything you have got, get laser focused and devote everything you can to it. Then, and only then will you truly succeed.

Bob Schwenkler is the creator of Advanced Sexual Stamina for Men and host of Sex the Podcast. Bob and his amazing girlfriend Natalie help men and women, singles and couples, have the best sex of their lives and experience playful, deeply connected relationships. Click here to learn more about Bob and his work.

Favorite Quote

“Your only real choices are to open fully and receive their gifts or crucify them and be relieved of their force…But you must be willing to feel your heart’s terrors and wounds or else you will close and protect yourself, striking back at the source of openness you most yearn to become”~ David Deida

Key Points

1. Open Up to Your Masculine for Better Sex

If you want to truly open a woman up and allow her to fully feel you and be fully present with you, you need to drop into your masculine. This means taking the charge and leading, being sexually confident and owning your desires.

Stop pussying out about the things you want in your sex life and start unashamedly going after them. Don’t feel shame about your sexuality and your desire for women. Own it, be honest with them about it, and project it out into the world. Not only will this free you, but it will free your woman to be fully present with you.

2. Sexual Performance Isn’t About Sexual Performance 

Sexual performance issues are never actually about sexual performance. They are the symptom of a deeper issue at play in your life causing you to feel some form of sexual shame or anxiety.

Whether it is a sex negative upbringing or religious background, feelings of sexual unconfidence, or merely not being present and being completely in your head, sexual issues are rarely actually physical.

3. Get in Touch with Your Body

The best way to get better in bed is to get in touch with your body first before getting in touch with a woman’s body. Start practicing yoga and meditation, breathe into your balls, dance, run, laugh, get outside and run around. Do anything that takes you out of your chair and puts you in touch with your being, your body, and nature.

Doing this will not only result in better sex, but also a better quality of life.