Knowledge For Men Archives

STEVE FARBER, the president of Extreme Leadership, is a leadership consultant and speaker, and the author of the national bestseller The Radical Leap, The Radical Edge, and Greater Than Yourself.

"Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail" ~Kinky Freedman

1. Love is Just as Critical to Business as it is to Relationships

There is an interesting paradigm shift that occurs when most men shed their casual shirts and loafers and don their three-piece suits and black oxfords to prepare for a day at work.

Only minutes before these men set out to bring home the bacon, they are acutely aware of their need to show up in their daily lives with an unconditional love and compassion towards the people they care about.

However, as they rev the engine to their four-door saloon and begin the dreaded "cubicle commute" something changes.

They no longer hold the internal belief that "love is the answer." Instead, they approach their day with a cold hearted mentality that values little more than efficiency and results.

But they are missing something.

You see, the laws that govern social interactions and leadership are laws for a reason. They apply inside of the office just as much as they apply outside.

And yet, most leaders seem to forget that just like building a family requires love and acceptance, building a business requires a deep sense of love and appreciation, not just for what you do, but for the people you do it with.

While you might earn a decent income by approaching your business with an attitude of ruthlessness and aggression, you will be able to build something infinitely more impactful and powerful by approaching your business with an attitude of unconditional love.

Love your employees, seek to help them grow to meet their potential and achieve their dreams.

Love your customers, not by trying to sell them a product or service, but by listening to them and discovering how you can serve them to the best of your ability.

Love the work that you do, the people that you do it with, and the people that you do it for and the results will be greater than your wildest dreams.

2. Expand Yourself to Expand Others

I want you to imagine that you are a soldier on the field of battle.

The bullets are flying, mortars are exploding, and the screams of the wounded and dying fill your ears.

When all of the sudden, BAM! You fall down to the dirt as a bullet makes contact with your torso. As you lay in the sand, bullets pinging off the earth around you, you look over to your left and see that one of your friends has been wounded as well.

After a few seconds of recovery, you realize that your wound is not fatal.

What happens next?

If you are a fan of war movies or someone with a particularly idealistic view of the world, you would likely say "Run and help your friend!"

And while this is a noble sentiment, it is also entirely foolish.

Before you can help your wounded brother in arms, you need to first take care of yourself. You need to clean and dress your wound and ensure that it will not impede your ability to save your friend and finish the fight.

And this is where most men get it wrong.

We invest so much time and energy into others around us, trying to give everything we have without realizing that a life of complete selflessness is truly the ultimate selfishness.

If you are not taking the time to consistently expand your own mind, your own abilities, your own skillsets, spirit, and emotional resilience, then how the hell can you expand others?

You cannot give what you do not have, and the first step to truly serving others is to serve yourself.

Take time for yourself, allow yourself to recharge and recuperate, invest into your growth and education.

Then, and only then, will you be fully equipped and able to serve others to your fullest capacity.

3. The Greatest Leaders are the One's Who Focus on Making Others Greater than Themselves

I want you to imagine for a second that it is Friday night.

After a long week of grinding and hustling to achieve your dreams, you are ready to let your hair down and have planned an epic "Boys Night Out" with your friends at a local nightclub.

Normally, this night is reserved for you and 4 other close friends, but tonight is different. Tonight, two of the men in your crew are bringing along a friend of their own.

Suited up, looking dapper as Frank Sinatra himself, and ready to have one helluva night, you roll up to the first venue and walk in to meet the new guys.

The first guy, is a tall, shredded, specimen of a guy, adorned in the latest designer clothes, his hair slicked back perfectly, wearing a smile bright enough blind you.

The second guy is relatively plain. By all outward appearances, he is completely average, he doesn't look like Homer Simpson, but he's no Brad Pitt.

Now, with the first impressions out of the way, you begin interacting with these two men and start to see their true character appear.

The first man, while a class act by appearances, spends the entire night focused on himself.

He is constantly talking about himself, his achievements, and his plans. And while his accomplishments are admittedly impressive, he never pauses the conversation long enough for you to get a word in.

The second man however, barely speaks about himself at all. Not because he is trying to be mysterious, but rather because he is so intent and so focused on you. Not only is he a master at asking questions and learning about who you are and what you want, but more importantly, he seems genuinely interested and intrigued to find out more.

Now the night shifts and your crew begins talking to a few of the local girls hanging around the bar.

Guy #1 immediately jumps in, bragging about all of his accomplishments and telling everyone within earshot just how great he is, completely blocking you from even introducing yourself to the increasingly annoyed beauties at his side.

Man #2 however, doesn't say a word about himself, he takes every opportunity that is presented to tell the woman he is talking to just how great you are and gives you opportunities to humbly boast about your own accomplishments and successes.

Now…

Who are you going to want to hang out with after that night? Who will you want to initiate into your group? Who would you be willing to follow?

I think the answer is pretty clear.

4. See the Pain as a Learning Experience

Whenever you are in pain, there is one phrase that you never, ever, ever, want to hear.

"This is an opportunity for you to learn"

However, your cries for silence notwithstanding, truer words have never been spoken.

I want you to think back with me for a moment.

Almost all of you have probably experienced a breakup at some point in your life, and many of us have experienced heart breaks so devastating that we thought we would never recover.

Now, I want you to relive that pain.

I want you to go back to the minute that you read that text, hung up the phone, or left that cafe and realized "It's over."

It sucks right… Keep going.

I want you to remember the nights where you cried yourself to sleep, the days when you couldn't focus at work because all you could think about was how much you missed her, those moments of weakness where you wallowed in self-pity believing that you would never find someone as good as her.

And now, I want you to come back to the present.

For many of you, the pain described above is still very real, for some of you it may have even happened in the past month, or week, or even day.

But for many of you, this pain is a distant memory, time has healed the old wounds, and you have moved on with your life.

And for almost all of you, you learned some of the most valuable lessons you have ever learned in the process.

We live in a society that avoids pain, avoids failure, and avoids anything short of perfection.

But you have to realize that pain is our greatest teacher, failure is our greatest ally, and perfection is a ghost that leaves us with nothing.

Any man who undergoes a radical change in his life almost always does so out of a place of pain.

And as he progresses on his path and looks back at the steps he has taken, he realizes that the pains and failures that he endured were the very things that equipped him to live the life that he loves today.

Don't fear pain and failure, learn from them.

5. You Are Responsible for Your Own Experience

There was an old study compiled in the 50's-60's, and while I can't remember exactly where I read it, the lesson it taught is one of the most profound and life-altering truths that you can learn.

The study followed the lives of two identical twin brothers who grew up in a family with an abusive alcoholic father. Decades after leaving their home, the twins were interviewed by the researchers, who found results that were nothing short of extraordinary.

One of the brothers ended up almost exactly as his father had, except worse. He was heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol, homeless, and had spent years of his life in and out of jail for countless petty crimes.

When the researchers asked him why he ended up where he was, his response was simple, "With a father like mine, how could I have done things any differently?"

The other brother's story, however, was quite different.

When the researchers tracked down the second brother, they found him living in the suburbs, happily married with two children and a flourishing career.

Surprised at the marked difference between the brothers, the researchers asked the second twin the exact same question.

How did you end up here?

His answer?

"With a father like mine, how could I have done things any differently?"

You see, you are not responsible for the crap that happens to you in life.

Economies crash, family and friends die, accidents happens, and life throws a wrench into your best laid plans.

But you are 100% responsible for your reaction to your circumstances, the story you tell yourself about your circumstances, and ultimately, the experience that you have in life.

You can choose how you react to situations, you can determine the story that you tell, and you, and only you, can decide right here and now whether you are going to take the sh!t that life throws at you laying down or whether you are going to be a man of grit and determination and create a future for yourself regardless of the cards you have been dealt.

Ajit is co-founder of Blinkwebinars and Evercoach. He is also CEO of Mindvalley Media, the publishing arm of the Mindvalley Group. He also helps other business as a mentor in a private mastermind, Zentreprenur.

Ajit also sits on the board for companies like Digital Academy India, Omvana, and Mindvalley Italy. In his free time, he likes to work on self-development, reiki, and his cooking skills. He is passionate about marketing and sales.

"It is better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than to have a long life doing something you hate" ~Alan Watts

1. External Succes is Fleeting

So many men try and pursue external success and validation thinking that it will make them happy and fulfilled, but the truth is, success has nothing to do with your external accomplishments.

True happiness, true success, and true fulfillment comes from living a life based around offering value and living the values that you hold dear.

It comes from loving others, filling your days with incredible experiences, and spending time doing the things that you enjoy.

That new house, raise, or car might make you happy, but only for a moment.

2. Success is About Living a Value Based Life

Success, true success, comes from living a life that is congruent with your deeply held values and beliefs.

If you value time with your family but work 80 hours a week to earn 7-figures, you are not a success. If you value your health, but give it up so that you can party with friends to try and look cool, you are not a success.

You are only a success if your thoughts, words, and actions are aligned with your deepest values and the man that you want to be.

3. Focus on Showing Up not Achieving Goals

A life focused on achieving goals is a life of misery, because goals are constantly shifting and as soon as one is accomplished, you are left with a deep void and a sense of "What's next?"

If you want to live a fulfilled and happy life, then focus more on showing up each day as the man that you want to be.

Be fully present in every conversation, treat others with respect and kindness, worry more about the impact you are having on those around you than the potential benefit that they can be to you and your goals.

When you make this mental shift, you will be more loving, kind, and generous, and the funny thing is, the universe will reciprocate this and you will likely achieve those goals that you had set because you are no longer focused on them.

4. Stop Trying to Live Up to The Expectations of the World

The world pushes all of these unrealistic expectations and standards on you, trying to convince you to conform to its standards and desires.

However, to live the life of your dreams, you must shun the expectations of the world and instead create your own expectations for yourself and your future.

You decide who you want to be, what you want to accomplish, and most important how you want to show up, not the world.

Once you truly internalize this, the freedom and joy that you will feel is almost unparalleled.

5. Keep People First

In business, relationships, and pretty much every other area of life, make sure that you are keeping people first.

In your business, focus on your clients, not your revenue.

In your relationships, focus on adding value and not taking value.

In your health, focus on how your improved performance and energy will affect those around you and not on how it will boost your own ego.

Always keep people first and you will never lose.

Geoff Blades is an author of Do What You Want and an advisor to senior Wall Street professionals, CEOs, and other leaders, on all topics related to getting what they want in their businesses, careers, and lives.

In his lifetime, he went from frying chicken at KFC to working at Goldman Sach's to quitting his "dream career" to pursue his real dream of helping others achieve the life that they want.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail" ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

1. What Do You Want? Go Get It

One of the most fundamental questions that you can ask yourself is also one of the simplest; "What do I want?"

Until you can answer this question for yourself and not base it on the desires that family, peers, and society try and project upon you, you will be like a ship without a rudder.

No matter how fast you are going, it will never be in the right direction.

Take some time away from all external influences and really decide what you want for yourself in the areas of health, wealth, relationships, and personal growth.

Then, once you have a clear picture of what you want, hustle like crazy until you achieve it.

2. All Success is Based upon Your Desire for an Emotion

Whenever you are trying to determine what you really want in life, it is easy to think that your desires are based on a certain thing or achievement.

In reality, all of your desires for external successes and validation stems from your desire to feel a certain way.

Why do you want a million dollars in the bank?

It's not because you want the million dollars.

It's because you want to feel the safety, significance, and the freedom (and subsequent joy) that you will experience by earning a million dollars.

Once you realize that all of your desires to achieve certain goals are basically desires to feel a certain emotion, you can analyze your goals in a more pragmatic and realistic way.

3. Resistance Comes from Negative Projections

The only reason that you face resistance in your pursuit of your dreams is because of the negative projections that are associated with the work that you need to do to achieve your goals.

Think about it.

No one needs to motivate you to watch TV or eat that piece of cake. It's an easy task that (for most people) has no associated negative projections.

What if you were able to approach your work and your mission with the same attitude?

Instead of projecting pain and struggle in your work, learn to find joy and satisfaction in the struggle.

Learn to appreciate your work and associate a massive amount of pleasure with everything that you do.

4. Focus on the Journey and not the Destination

Success is never about an outcome.

It is about the man you become on your path towards that outcome.

Every man who undergoes radical financial, physical, emotional, or social changes has simultaneously undergone radical personal changes.

The man who goes from flipping burgers to a millionaire, from fat to fit, or from textbook nerd to social powerhouse, have all undergone massive internal changes that brought about their new realities.

They became grittier, more determined, more dedicated, more educated, and more alive.

Realize that the best part of success is the journey that it takes you on and the person that you become along the way, not the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

5. Create Two Systems: One for Your Mind and One For Actions

One of the quickest ways to create a success filled life is to create a series of systems for mastering your mind and your actions.

This means that you need to work on developing systems to help train your brain and create mental focus and resilience while simultaneously creating systems to help you take action towards your goals and dreams.

This can be anything from meditation, exercise, journaling, practicing productivity hacks, reading, or waking up earlier in the morning.

Whatever it is for you, build your systems and then execute them ruthlessly.

Dan Kariv is the CEO of multiple companies including Amped Ventures and Math4Sale, Inc. – a startup that is currently generating 7-figures in revenue.

His life journey has been fueled by a passion to uncover and distill the spiritual truths of reality and exploring them along the journey of entrepreneurship and the pursuit of freedom so that he can better serve the world.

"True freedom is the ability to choose how you spend each day."

1. Are You Being the Best Version of Yourself?

Every second of your life, you have a choice. You can either choose to show up as the best, most powerful, most grounded version of yourself, or you can choose to allow fear and external pressures suppress your strength and live a life below your potential.

In every challenging situation, whether it is a meeting at work, an argument with your wife, or some other battle that you face, ask yourself "Am I being the best version of myself right now?"

Are you showing up and leaving everything on the table, are you attacking life with a vigor and energy that makes others stand in awe, or are you playing it safe?

Keep this question in the forefront of your mind each day and you will be amazed at the paradigm shifts you will experience.

2. Freedom Comes with a Price

Freedom of any kind, whether it is freedom of location, financial freedom, physical freedom, or social freedom (e.g. freedom from approach anxiety), comes with with a price tag.

Freedom is not free. It is earned. It is taken. It is wrestled from the jaws of fear and uncertainty and doubt.

If you want a life of your own design, a life of true power where you can be who you want and live life on your terms, then you are going to have to pay for it.

Achieving freedom requires discipline and sacrifice. It requires years, sometimes decades of giving up what you want now for a future of unlimited potential.

As the old saying goes, "Live like no one else will today so that you can live like no one else can tomorrow."

3. Fear is the Pathway to Power

One of the quickest ways to achieve success is to see your fears as the pathway to power. See fear as the guiding force in your life that tells you where you should be going and what you should be doing.

The more fear you feel, the more you will know you are on the right track.

Do not let fear paralyze you.

Realize that on the other side of every fear is a stronger, more powerful, and more grounded man.

Overcoming your fear to start your business or talk to that girl or get off the couch and go to the gym will lead to personal growth and success that you could never have imagined.

Embrace the fear and achieve your dream life.

4. What Do You Want to be Remembered For?

It is easy to live our lives without ever truly considering our legacies.

But the simple fact is, all of us are going to die. We are all headed towards the same fate. And 100 years from now, the only thing that will differentiate your life from everyone else's is the impact that you had and the difference that you made.

Devote time each day to thinking about the person that you want to become.

Think about how you want to be remembered.

Do you want to be remembered as the grinder? The philanthropist? The family man?

No matter what you want your legacy to be, make the definite decision to take the necessary actions to leave behind a life that will be remembered how you want to be remembered.

5. Success Requires You to Hone Your Capacity

If you want to succeed at any endeavor in life, you must first hone your capacity.

You must become a student to your craft and be willing to put your nose to the grindstone, working and learning, all the while approaching your craft with a deep humility.

The more and more capable you become at any skill, the more you will find your ego and insecurities melting away.

You will no longer feel the need to prove yourself to the world because you already have a deep inner confidence in yourself and your capacity for success.

Charlie Brenneman is a former UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) competitor in the lightweight division with an overall fight record of 19 wins and 8 losses.

After leaving the UFC two years ago, Charlie has devoted himself to helping other people achieve the success that they desire and deserve through professional coaching, speaking, and entrepreneurship.

"You are what you repeatedly do, excellence is not an act but a habit" ~

1. Success is About Giving Everything You Have

In our materialistic and results driven society, it is easy to get caught up in this idea that success is all about making a certain amount of money, winning every competition, and reaching every goal.

But the truth is much deeper than that. While accomplishment should certainly play a central role in every man's definition of success, the missing piece of the puzzle is the effort that you devote to achieving your goals.

If you put everything that you have into the attainment of a goal, if you are relentless and driven to a point that many people consider you insane and you still don't achieve your desired outcome, then guess what?

You are still a success.

You showed up, you put in the work, and you did everything that you could do. Sometimes despite your best efforts, the stars simply don't align. And it's times like this where you can look at yourself in the mirror with pride, knowing that you gave it your all and are still a man of success despite the perceived failure.

2. A Life of Fulfillment Comes from the Habit of Pursuing the Uncomfortable

So many people believe that fulfillment will come whenever they reach a certain goal. Whenever they have seven figures in their bank account, are married to the model wife, or driving the Ferrari.

In reality, however, as men, we derive our true sense of fulfillment from constantly pursuing a life of "uncomfortability."

A life where we don't know whether we will succeed, a life of struggle and triumph, a life, as Teddy Roosevelt put it, "In the arena, with your face marred by blood, and sweat, and tears."

If you want to be fulfilled and live every day with a smile on your face and joy in your heart, then get out of your comfort zone. Get uncomfortable and start pushing the boundaries of what you think is possible in your life.

3. Humility is a Hallmark of the Greats

No matter how successful you become, there is always someone out there who is better than you. And if you want to truly succeed at any endeavor, then you need to have the humility to learn from others and devote yourself to constant improvement.

If you look at any great man in sports, business, or life, you will notice that no matter their stature, they were always willing to take criticism and look for ways to improve their craft.

From billionaires like Sam Walton to All-Stars like Kobe Bryant, they all approached their field with a deep and genuine humility, accepting that they did not know everything and had plenty of room to improve.

If you truly want to be one of the greats, then you need to take the same approach to your life.

4. Accept the Struggle

Whenever you start out at anything, whether it is a business, a sport, an instrument, or improving your social skills, you are going to suck.

It's not pretty, it's not nice, but it is the cold hard truth. You are going to suck, and you are going to suck for a long time.

The quicker that you can come to terms with this and accept that the journey is part of the joy of mastery, the sooner you will be able to overcome your own egotistical nature and truly become an expert in your craft.

So embrace the suck. Don't take yourself too seriously, and get ready for months or even years of fumbling through until you become proficient in your field.

5. Surround Yourself with the Best

The quickest way to accelerate your own growth is to surround yourself with people who are playing the game of life at a higher level than you are.

Find people in your field who are performing at a level 10X your current level and get around them.

Figure out what habits, tactics, and mindsets are separating them from the 99% and putting them into the proverbial hall of fame.

The sooner that you can build up your circle of friends and mentors who are playing at a higher level, the quicker you will achieve your own goals and truly embrace your own potential.

If you've ever wanted to learn how to build a successful real estate business or simply get an inside look inside the mind of an entrepreneurial prodigy…this interview with Jaelin White will give you everything you want and more.

Not only is Jaelin the youngest person I've ever had on the show, but he's also one of the most successful.

Over the past few years, he went from a no-name kid from Arizona to one of the biggest real estate influencers in the industry with a multi-million dollar business, partnership with Tai Lopez, and (of course) a sweet Lambo.

I promise, you'll be blown away by this interview.

Jaelin White is a 19-year-old entrepreneur and real estate investor who turned a $180 investment into over $33,000 in roughly two months in one of the most competitive housing markets in the country.

Jaelin now earns multiple six figures a year, is mentored by high-level entrepreneurs like Tai Lopez and is happily married to his wife Brianna.

"The master has failed more times than the beginner has ever tried" ~Stephen McCraine

1. The Best Investment You Can Make is in Yourself

One of the immutable and irrefutable laws of success is that to achieve anything great, you must first invest in yourself and become the kind of man with the skillsets and character traits required to reach your goals.

There is no way around it. To achieve great things, you must be willing to invest heavily in your personal and professional growth.

An investment in a stock or real estate property might make you some money, but an investment in your own growth and education can make you a fortune.

You're only one idea, one connection, or one lesson away from changing your life forever so pull out all the stops and do whatever it takes to become the man you need to be.

Whether this means attending seminars, hiring a coach, purchasing online courses or even just reading books written by some of the brightest minds in your industry, success requires a ruthless investment in your personal development.

Attend local masterminds, get a library card and check out every (recommended) book on your industry, find a mentor in your area and offer to work for free in exchange for their wisdom and guidance.

The long term return on these investments is incalculable.

To this day Tony Robbins still claims that the $35 he invested into a seminar with Jim Rohn was the greatest investment he ever made.

2. You Need to Build Your Board of Directors

There is an old saying that you are the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time with, and truer words have never been spoken.

If you want to elevate your life in every way, in your health, your relationships, your finances, and your personal growth, then you need to surround yourself with people who will push you and encourage you to succeed.

Seek out mentors and friends who are achieving on a higher level than you who are willing to call you out on your failures and lift you up for your successes.

When you surround yourself with other high-achievers, you'll subconsciously start to pick up on their patterns and behaviors. You'll learn how to speak the "language of winners", you'll see their habits and rituals firsthand and you'll get an insiders look at how the top 1% really think and behave.

Virtual coaches and mentors are a good start, but nothing beats extreme exposure to individuals playing the game at a higher level than you are today.

Once you build this infrastructure of support and accountability, your life will radically transform in way you can't possibly imagine.

3. You Have to Make the Definite Decision to Succeed

The only thing separating you from your wildest dreams and ambitions is that you have not yet made the definite decision to achieve them.

Once you look yourself in the mirror and say, "Enough is enough! I will achieve my goals come hell or high water. I will do whatever it takes and will not rest until I am a success." then nothing can stop you.

While it might sound overly simplistic, it's the truth. Once you make a definite decision, everything changes.

The trick is that you must make this decision from a place of certainty. Most people 'want' success. But want is not nearly enough. You must be willing to pay the price of admission and do the hard work required to achieve the outcomes you want.

The simple truth is that almost anyone, anywhere in the world can achieve 10X more success than they are today (at least, if you live in a developed country with access to the internet and a modicum of freedom). But most people aren't willing to do what it takes to achieve the goals they claim to want.

So take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, "Am I willing to suffer for this goal? Am I willing to bleed, sweat, and cry to make this happen?"

Until the answer is a resounding "hell yes!", you cannot and will not make the decision to succeed.

4. Focus on Revenue Generating Activities

One of the simplest habits that you can start implementing today is to shift all of your focus towards revenue-generating activities.

Plain and simple, if it is not going to earn you money, then don't do it.

Too many "wantrepreneurs" focus on vanity metrics like followers, likes, and engagement. But none of these things matter. The only thing that matters are the activities that push the envelope forward and put money in your pocket.

If there are tasks that need to be done that do not directly result in the generation of revenue, then outsource them so that you have more time to work on building your cash flow.

The more you focus on profits, the faster your business will grow.

Jim Wolfe is a coach and author who helps men live life without regret, build genuine confidence, achieve fulfillment and true success, and have satisfying relationships.

He is obsessed with reading, writing, learning, travel, and personal growth. He draws on a tremendous variety of sources to create effective educational experiences.

He is also the author of Level Up and Attract Her and Keep Her.

"Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value" ~Albert Einstein

1. Focus on Internal Fulfillment Not External Success

One of the biggest mistakes that most men make is that their primary focus is on external success and not internal fulfillment.

They try and derive their sense of satisfaction from the women they sleep with, the cars they drive, or the number of 0's in their bank account instead of defining success for themselves and living out a life that is true to who they are.

Instead of focusing on achievement, start to focus on being someone of value, someone who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to step out into the world and take it.

Focus more on the man that you are becoming than the things you are achieving.

Because at the end of the day, if you become a man of integrity, honor, grit, and discipline, the external success will fall into place.

2. Success in Relationships is About Adding Value

If you want to succeed with women, then you need to completely change your mindset.

You have to shift away from the societal preconditioning that women only want good looks, money, and status and realize that the best way to seduce a woman is to provide value by being your authentic self.

If you are someone she loves to be around, someone who can listen, inject humor, and provide a strong grounded base for her to trust, then it doesn't matter how much money you have, what car you drive, or what you look like.

Women want men who add value to their lives, not men who try and impress them with external "stuff".

3. You Must Cultivate a High Sense of Internal Value and Strength

In the initial phases of attraction, success with women is dependent on a few key factors.

The first, and most important factors are a high level of internal value and strength.

But what does that really mean?

Having a high level of internal value means that you value yourself more than any woman or relationship. It means that you are content to continue living your life with or without your significant other because your sense of self-worth comes from inside of you and not from a woman.

Internal strength, on the other hand, is your ability to display to women that you are a strong grounded man who is not reactive to or dependent upon the actions of others.

This is one of the reasons that women will often test men. It's not because they want to get under your skin, it's because they want to test you and see if you are strong enough to hold frame and respond to their tests in a non-reactive and grounded manner.

4. If You Want to Succeed with Women, Have them Chase You

Have you ever heard the saying that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"?

Well, this is especially true with women and dating. Women want to see that the man they are pursuing is busy. They want to see that he has a life outside of her and is pursuing goals outside of their relationship.

Therefore, one of the keys to success during the early phases of attraction is to limit your availability.

If you are only able to go out with a woman that you are seeing once or twice a month, they will respect your time, be more excited to see you, and place more value on the time that they do have with you.

Be intentional about your availability and the women in your life will be even more attracted to you.

5. To Keep Your Woman You Must Give Her Positive Attention and Respect

Once you have attracted a woman and have decided to settle in for a relationship, the game has completely changed.

Seduction and relationships are two completely different things.

Whenever you are in a relationship, one of the biggest keys to maintaining that relationship is that you show your woman positive attention and respect.

This means that you are willing to pause the football game and talk with her about her day. It means that you build her up in public and hold your temper when you fight.

It means that you start to value her on a deeper level and are willing to put some of your hobbies (not your dreams and passions) on hold to satisfy her needs.

1. The Science of Happily Ever After by Ty Tashiro PH.D.

2. No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover

3. Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix

http://www.jamesdwolfe.com/

Next Steps

We're on a mission to impact a million men with powerful life changing content. If you enjoyed this article, please share it with your friends on your preferred social network on the left. I spent a ridiculous amount of time creating this article for you and with your support, we can impact the world together.

Want to become the strongest version of yourself?

Then click here to get a free trial to my elite community of 800+ high-performing men, The Secrets of the Top 1% of Men. Not only will you get tapped into your own "band of brothers", but you'll also have access to some of my best content and training as well as bi-weekly group calls with my team of coaches.

If you're ready to push the boundaries of what's possible in your life and become the man you've always wanted to be. This is the fastest way to do it.

Dr. Ernhard Vogel, Ph.D, was born in Germany at the height of World War II, struggling to survive in the war-torn country.

After immigrating to America, Dr. Vogel became obsessed with self-realization and mastery.

Now, he runs a yoga, meditation, and self-realization center where he guides people through life's challenging questions and helps them uncover the answers already within themselves.

He is the author of the book, The Four Gates and a coach and speaker at Nataraja Meditation Center in San Diego.

"May you find yourself sufficiently worthy to become attentive to yourself and to relate to yourself in full power and love that you deserve."

1. Live Your Life As an Expert

One of the biggest mistakes that we make in our lives is that we try to become an expert at everything except for life.

We try and master our hobbies, our professions, our relationships, and our bodies, but we never try and master the art of living.

The art of being in the moment and living life as you.

I know that this may sound a little bit metaphysical and woo-woo, but you need to realize that one of the most essential parts of life is to become an expert at living.

Learn to savor each moment and be.

Become an expert at the art of life.

2. Just Be

We are so caught up in so many different things in our life that we often forget to appreciate our lives, to just live in the moment, to just be.

True fulfillment comes from living your life, not from achievement.

Start making a conscious effort to just be.

Appreciate the colors in the park, appreciate the beauty of the people in your life, notice the tastes of your food, enjoy each moment fully and watch your life transform.

3. Realize that Your Senses Are Distracting You

We live in a society that thrives upon sensory distractions.

We walk around every day in a constant state of stimulation with advertisements and technology vying for our attention, drawing us away from what is truly important.

As you set upon your journey or "living expertly" you must learn to minimize your sensory distractions.

Take time alone to just be, get out in nature, or spend time with close friends.

Focus on living your life and not on the number of Facebook likes your latest selfie is generating.

4. Success is Internal not External

In the Western world, our happiness is contingent upon external validation.

Whether it is the hot wife, the fast car, the big house, or the bank account with six zeroes in it, our happiness and fulfillment are based upon factors outside of ourselves.

This is why the majority of the population is depressed, anxious, and (frankly) miserable.

If you want to achieve true fulfillment, then realize that happiness is internal.

If you are a part of the Knowledge for Men community and have the technology to read this article, then you already have everything that you need to live a happy and fulfilled life.

You are not fighting for your life, wondering where your next meal will come from, or witnessing the murder of your loved ones during a violent dictatorship.

Therefore, you have everything you need to be fulfilled already inside of you.

Stop worrying about the accolades and the

5. Accept that Death is a Part of Life

You cannot truly live a full and adventurous life without accepting that you are going to die.

Everything that you love and everything that you have built will one day end.

And what's funny is that this should not be seen as a negative thing.

The fact that everything comes to an end makes every second more precious, it allows you to live fully without fear, knowing that no matter how many mistakes you make or how many times you fail, the consequences are never as severe as you feared.

Accept the inevitability of death and you will be empowered to live your life with a freedom you had never known.

Gentlemen…

If you want to learn how to transform your life, optimize your performance, and become unstoppable…this interview will help you do it. I sit down with world-renowned biohacker and marketer extraordinaire Anthony DiClementi to discuss all things biohacking, success, and personal transformation.

And I promise, if you'll take action on the lessons he shares, you can use the wisdom contained in this interview to change your life forever.

Anthony DiClementi is an executive health and fitness coach, biohacker, and expert in functional medicine.

He is the most sought after fat loss expert for people who want to regularly enjoy more of their favorite cheat foods, wine, and cocktails without storing them as fat.

He is known for teaching people how to lose 7 pounds in 7 days* and utilize strategic cheating to accelerate fat loss while still enjoying a social lifestyle.

Anthony is a Certified Nutrition Specialist (CNS), NCSF Certified Personal Trainer, and "certified" Party Guy (Restaurant/Bar/Nightclub Marketer) from Chicago, IL.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." ~Theodore Roosevelt

1. Think Less Do More

So many people who are involved in the world of personal development make the critical mistake of absorbing too much information without taking the requisite action that makes that information valuable.

If you are not where you want to be in your life despite the books, online courses, and seminars, then stop what you are doing right now and go take some freaking action.

Don't read another book about fitness, go to the damn gym and lift some weights.

Don't watch videos on pickup, go talk to the next pretty girl you see.

Quit watching Shark Tank and go take the first step to starting your own business.

The simple truth is that success is hard. It takes time, patience, failure, and iteration. You will never get it right on the first go and the more time you spend thinking and analyzing your goals and vision, the less time you'll spend actually moving the needle forward and making progress.

So commit to taking action. Take the first step today and realize that you can learn what you need to learn along the way.

Go pick up a barbell and do some deadlifts. Once you're in the gym consistently, then you can worry about rep scheme, time under tension, and supplementation.

Go talk to the next attractive woman you see. Once you start interacting with women in the real world, you'll gain a better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and can learn how to improve your interactions with women from there.

Go launch your website and start building your email list. Once you have taken action, you'll figure out the lessons you really need to scale to the next level.

2. How You Feel Doesn't Matter

If you only do what you feel like doing, you will never accomplish anything great in your life.

There will be times where you don't want to work, put time into your relationships, or go to the gym.

But guess what?

It doesn't matter, if you want to succeed, you have to control your emotions and not allow them to control you.

Remember that motion creates emotion.

Even if you don't feel like working, as soon as you sit down to work, you will become motivated.

As soon as you set foot in the gym, you will find yourself more energized and alive.

Your feelings are fleeting. They are a fickle mistress that will abandon you when you need them most and attack you when you expect them the least. To accomplish great things, you must learn to take action despite your emotions. You must learn to overcome the way you feel and focus on what you value.

Your mission, your goals, and your life are more important than how you feel in the moment. And the more you can learn to act in alignment with your values instead of your feelings, the better and more successful your life will be.

3. You Need Someone Who Has Achieved What You Want

If you want to achieve the highest levels of success, you need a coach or mentor.

There's no way around it.

No way great has ever succeeded without someone smarter and more talented then them guiding their path and advising them on the best course of action.

If you are overweight despite going to the gym and eating well, hire a coach who can show you where you are taking improper action so you can achieve your dream body.

If your life is going downhill quickly despite your best efforts, hire a coach who can help you to achieve your goals and who can point out your blindspots and weaknesses and help you overcome them.

When you have objective outside eyes on your life from people who have "been there, done that", you won't have to wonder if you're doing the right things. You will know you are on the path to success and you'll be able to take massive and strategic action toward achieving the life you've always wanted.

4. Success Starts with Your Mindset and Your Routines

The key to success starts in your mind and is then translated into your routines.

If you can show me someone's routines, I will show you their outcomes and their levels of success in every area of life.

To succeed, you must develop rock-solid routines to ensure that you can achieve at the highest level.

This means creating a morning routine, exercising regularly, spending time around people who are smarter then you are, and educating yourself on a daily basis.

There is no way around it, your routines and mindset determine the quality of your life.

Period.

5. If You Want to Transform Your Life Start with Your Health

If you really want to transform your life, start with your health.

If you have more energy, a more balanced body, and higher cognitive function, everything else will start to fall into place.

You will be sharper at work, more motivated, more fluid in social situations, and, of course, a helluva lot sexier.

Your body is your home, take care of it and don't take it for granted.

Erik Newton is a former family law attorney, and founder of Together Magazine and The Together Show Podcast. Erik describes himself as someone who's "been through a thousand divorces and still believes in love."

Ushering couples through divorce was never pleasant, but it turned out to be the ideal medium through which to understand the entire lifecycle of a relationship. As a result, Erik has a unique, real-world comprehension of what makes one marriage thrive and another fall apart.

During his time as an attorney, Erik teamed up with a psychologist friend to lead premarital courses for couples, hoping to give them the skills they'd need to stay out of his office.

Ultimately, his calling to help couples build healthy relationships superseded his legal career, and he decided to dedicate himself full-time to creating a place couples could go for information, inspiration, and a big dose of truth. That's whenTogether.Guide was born.

"If you don't ask, it's an automatic no"

1. There is Only the Present Moment

It is so easy to get caught up in our past mistakes and future worries.

Most of us are living our lives in a reality that does not really exist, we spend all of our time thinking about mistakes that we made in the past and our plans and fears for the future.

If you want to truly be happy, if you want to truly have fulfilling relationships and you want to see your life transform before your eyes, then see every moment as the beginning.

Right now, this very second, you have a choice.

It's not about what you did or what you are going to do in the future, it is about who you are deciding to be in this present moment.

Always remember that this is the most important decision that you can make.

2. Compassion is Essential in Every Stage of Your Relationships

One of the biggest mistakes that most couples make whenever they are going through a challenging time or approaching the end of a relationship is that they lose the compassion they once had for their partner.

You need to always approach your partner with a level of empathy and understanding, no matter how badly they have hurt you or what they have done to you.

Because if you do not, you will only be poisoning your own life and cutting off any possibility of a relationship with that person, platonic or otherwise.

3. When Something is Not Working, Get Excited

It is so easy to get depressed and down on yourself when something is not working in your relationship.

Whether you are afraid things are going to end or you are simply losing the passion that you once had, whenever you start to face a struggle in your relationship, it is time to get excited.

Why?

Because if something is not working, then you have the chance to either end the relationship and move onto something better or dive even deeper in your relationship with your partner as you overcome this new obstacle.

Just like challenges in life are a chance for you to grow as a man, challenges in relationships are a chance for you to grow with your partner.

4. View Every Major Break Up as a Chance to Learn

Anytime you suffer from a major breakup, whether with a girlfriend or a divorce with a wife, you need to realize that this is nothing more than a chance for you to learn.

See it as a privilege that you had the breakup.

Because now you are a stronger, more grounded, and more knowledgeable man who knows what he wants moving forward.

Never suffer through any major life event without taking time to figure out what you can learn and how you can change things moving forward.

5. If You Want to Save Your Relationships Remember Money, Sex, & Kids

The three things that cause more relational strife than anything else are money, sex, and children.

And it's not necessarily the actual problems with money, sex, and children, it is the expectations that each partner has about these topics that are unspoken.

If you do not want children and your woman does, this needs to be addressed before you get married.

If your girlfriend is buried in debt from college then this is something you need to talk about before you move on to the next level.

Whatever your sexual expectations and fantasies are, they need to be addressed and discussed with your significant other.

Before you move to a new level in your relationships, make sure that these three areas are discussed and agreed upon, otherwise, you will face more stress than you ever thought possible.