Knowledge For Men

Mark Divine served 9 years on active duty and 11 years on reserve as a US Navy SEAL before retiring as a commander in 2011. After his decorated career in the special forces, Mark went on the found Navyseals.com, launch US Tactical, and develop a revolutionary workout program known as SEAL Fit. He has also written multiple New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Amazon best-selling books.

"Undisturbed calmness of mind is attained by cultivating friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked." ~Patanjali

1. Focus On People's Character Not their Acumen

If you ever have the opportunity to sit down with any older businessmen or entrepreneurs and ask them the question "What was your biggest mistake", nine times out of ten they will tell you that their biggest regret in business was trusting someone who they shouldn't have trusted.

You see, even outside of the realm of business, it's easy to overlook people's character flaws because of their other resources.

I see many men fall into this trap in business, dating, and friendship.

It's easy to ignore the obvious red flags with your new employee because they are a monster salesman and you know that they will make you a lot of money (until they end up stealing it back).

It's easy to ignore a woman's blatant character flaws because she's wildly attractive and great in bed.

It's easy to ignore your friend's unscrupulous behavior because he's funny, rich, and always makes sure you have a good time.

But if you want to mitigate risk and succeed at life, you must adopt a more cautious approach.

Learn to focus on people's character and their virtues, not just their raw talent.

Because at the end of the day, it's easier to train a virtuous man to become a good salesperson than it is to train a great salesperson to become a virtuous man.

2. Win the Morning Win the Day

Mark attributes much of his success to the powerful morning rituals that he follows in order to get himself grounded and ready for the day.

Something that surprised me is that Mark's routine doesn't take several hours, one hour, or even 30-minutes. He told me that he can complete his routine in 15-minutes on average and 5 if he's really pressed for time.

Each morning he spends a few minutes in silent meditation, then he will focus his intentions on his life vision and the daily tasks he needs to achieve to move closer to that vision, and finally, he will review the elements of his "ethos" or the guiding principles upon which he operates his life.

And that's it.

Whatever your goals in life, you need to start your day in a powerful state to set yourself up to win the day and achieve your dreams.

Personally, I try and start most mornings by watching something inspirational, reading a few pages of a classic book, journaling, focusing on gratitude, and incorporating some sort of physical exercise.

How you develop your own morning routine will be unique to your dreams and vision, but what is important is that you have a morning routine and that it helps you get grounded and ready to go out and achieve your dreams.

3. Turn Failure Into Your Greatest Asset

Many people believe that failure is a problem, that it's a liability. But it's not.

Failure is actually one of your greatest assets and closest friends… When you use it properly and learn from it.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that failure is fun or that you should try and fail. Failure sucks, there's nothing fun about it, and nobody wants to see their dreams and ambitions fail.

But when you fail and trust me, you will fail, you have one of two options.

You can whine and bitch and complain.

Or you can dust yourself off, look at your failure objectively, and ask yourself "Ok, how can I do better next time?"

Failure is only failure if you don't learn from it, if you don't grow from it, and if you don't reframe it so that you see each failure as a valuable teacher, educating you about how to achieve your dreams.

4. Realize that Your Growth is Limited by Your Shadow

There is an old saying that "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link". And in the realm of personal growth, you are only as strong as your darkest parts.

I see so many men today who walk through their lives trying to elicit personal growth by constantly pushing forward, suppressing the pain of the past, and ignoring the emotional trauma that has held them back.

But the harsh reality of life is that you can only grow to the extent that you are willing to address your darkness or your shadow self.

We all have a dark side, we've all been hurt, we all have deep wounds and pain whether we want to address them or not.

And most men choose to ignore this dark side.

They try and move on with their lives and pretend that everything is ok when, subconsciously, the pain and hurt of the past is holding them back from living the lives of their dreams.

If you want to move forward in your life, if you want to truly succeed, if you want to open up to true intimacy and love and connection, then you must face your shadow.

You must address the pain, you must conquer your darkness and learn to use it for good.

Because if you don't, you will constantly be haunted (consciously or subconsciously) by the parts of you that you dare not bring into the light.

5. Detach from the Details of the Outcome & Focus on the Vision

One of the biggest mistakes that many men make is that they are more concerned with the details of the outcome than the outcome itself.

For example, in the interview, Mark discussed his goal of impacting 100,000,000 lives. He told me that, while he is rigid in his vision, he has learned to be flexible in the details of achieving this outcome.

For Mark, it doesn't matter whether he impacts 10 people who go and change a million lives or whether he impacts a million people who go on to change 10 lives. He is adamant in his vision, but he is flexible in the approach.

In your life and with your goals, you must adopt the same mentality.

Yes, you should have a strong, crystal clear vision and end game, but you must be flexible about how you achieve that vision.

Michael is the Senior Partner at Box of Crayons, a company that helps organizations do less Good Work and more Great Work. He's also the author of several books, including The Coaching Habit and Do More Great Work. Michael has written for or been featured in numerous publications including Business Insider, Fast Company, Forbes, The Globe & Mail and The Huffington Post.

"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start." ~Charles Bukowski

1. Forget All About Doing Good Work and Focus on Great Work

There are only three kinds of work.

Bad work, good work, and great work.

Ironically, the type of work that is most deadly to your dreams and ambitions is not bad work.

Because bad work is obvious.

It's the kind of work that creates a visceral reaction each time you are forced to engage in it.

You know what I am talking about. That work you try and outsource as soon as you receive it. That work that leaves you anxious and exhausted each time it pops up in your inbox. That work that requires no talent, skill, or ability, simply an ability to switch off your brain and put your nose to the grindstone.

And most importantly, that work that does nothing to push you closer to your ultimate vision.

You know bad work when you see it, which is why it's not truly a danger to your dreams.

Good work, on the other hand, is an innocuous killer of greatness.

Because good work (again, as the name implies) is good.

You enjoy good work, you can profit from good work, and good work leaves you with a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment.

But there's a disconnect.

Good work is often what we use to fill our time and distract ourselves from great work we know we should be doing.

Good work is that high-paying freelance project that distracts your focus from your new startup. Or that client you keep on retainer who doesn't push your abilities or stretch you. Good work can even be a relationship, a friendship, or a career that is blowing you off course from your life's mission.

Good work will not steal your soul and crush you underfoot like bad work will. Instead, it will ensnare you and keep you playing the game of life at a small level.

So it's time for you to decide. Do you want to do good work that will make you a living? Or do you want to do great work that will make you a legend?

2. Learn to Understand the True Problem

Men are problem solvers.

This isn't some sort of gender-based stereotype, it's simply how we are biologically hard-wired.

But the unique problem with being a problem solver is that it can often lead to impatience and unnecessary haste.

Which, especially when it pertains to leadership and management, can be fatal to your efficiency.

After all, how can you effectively solve a problem if you haven't fully defined the problem you are trying to solve?

For example, let's say that you receive a call from a long-time client who is responsible for more than 25% of your bottom line.

As soon as you pick up the phone, the client regretfully informs you that your contract is being terminated and when you inquire as to why he simply responds by saying "We no longer need your services."

At this point, you could make assumptions about the problem, politely hang up, and face the consequences of losing such a big contract.

Or, you could ask a simple question, "What's the real challenge here?"

By diving deeper instead of simply assuming that the client is lost, you might find out that they recently underwent significant budget cuts and don't feel that they can afford your retainer.

And while you may or may not be able to renegotiate an agreement, you have stepped further into understanding what the real challenge is.

The next time that you are presented with a challenging situation, even an internal one, I challenge you to pause, take a step back, and ask "What's the real challenge here?"

If you are feeling unfulfilled in your work and you're thinking about quitting your job, stop and ask "What's the real challenge"? Are you bored and unchallenged? Do you feel stuck? Do you feel underpaid? Talk to your manager and see if you can take on more challenging projects, move into a different division, or negotiate a raise.

However, if you feel like your talents and abilities genuinely need to be applied to a different endeavor, then follow through and quit with a full understanding of the challenge you need to surmount.

If your marriage is on the verge of collapse, pause and ask yourself, "What's the real challenge here?". Are you and your partner simply struggling to connect? Do you feel the need for more time alone and with friends? Do you feel that you have lost touch with what made you fall in love with one another? These issues (although difficult) are all fixable.

But maybe the real struggle is that you were married too young and your goals are no longer in alignment. Maybe the solution is to part amicably and move towards your own individual purposes.

Whatever problems you are facing in your life, take a step back and figure out what the real challenge is.

Sometimes, your assumptions will be correct. But more often than not, you will find that the real challenge is much deeper and much more nuanced than you originally thought.

3. Knowledge is Never the Issue

I want you to imagine that you are walking through a dark alleyway late at night in your hometown.

You feel a tingle at the base of your spine, and when you turn around, there is a man with a gun pointed at your head.

He doesn't want your money, he doesn't want your watch, in fact… He doesn't give a damn about any of your valuables.

All he wants is the answer to four questions.

"What can I do to become healthier? What can I do to make and save more money? What can I do to attract more women and love into my life? And what can I do to become a stronger grounded man?"

Would you be able to respond?

If you have been listening to this show for any appreciable amount of time, then I can guarantee that you could.

"Lift heavy weights for 5 hours a week and only eat real food. Start a side hustle, save away every extra penny, and then invest in some sort of asset like a real estate deal. Talk to five new women every day, be genuinely interested, and be authentic with them. Start journaling, meditating, and pushing yourself to embrace adversity."

Boom! He puts the gun down and you are free to go.

Now, I know that the above scenario is implausible, to say the least, but my point in sharing this is that you know what you need to do.

I doubt that the above responses were new to most of you. You already knew how to become healthier, wealthier, attract better relationships, and become more grounded.

And if you don't, then a short glance through the Knowledge for Men archives will solve that problem once and for all.

For 99% of you reading this, however, knowledge is not your problem.

You know everything that you need to do.

So why aren't you doing it?

Why aren't you taking action?

Why aren't you moving forward?

Before you get upset and start casting blame and recoiling in defense, pause… And ask yourself, "What's the real challenge here?"

What is it in your life that is stopping you from moving forwards? Why aren't you taking action? Why aren't you doing what you need to do?

Instead of judging yourself and trapping yourself in a vicious cycle of frustration, shame, and inaction, take a step back and analyze your inaction.

If lack of knowledge isn't your problem… What is?

4. What Do You Want?

Seriously… What do you want?

What do you want?

Not "What do mommy and daddy want?" Not "What does society want?" Not "What people tell you that you should want?"

What do you want?

It's funny to me how few men will actually take the time to uncover the answer to this question.

To our knowledge, we only get one shot at this thing called life.

We only have one chance to live the lives that we want.

So why the hell do we go about living our lives based on other people's values and desires?

If you only have one chance to live your life and achieve your dreams, then why would you pursue a career that makes you miserable? Why would you marry someone you don't truly love? Why would you live one second of your life out of alignment with your deeper calling and purpose?

Ask yourself every single week, month, and year, "What do I want?"

Don't filter what comes up, don't judge it, just embrace it.

Once you know what you truly want… Go out and get it.

Bill Lyons is a successful entrepreneur and contributor. He is currently the Founder & CEO of a technology startup inside the real estate industry called Revestor. Revestor is a real estate search engine and marketplace for residential investment properties that provides custom investment filters, notifications on new investment properties for sale, and comprehensive analysis.

Revestor's patent-pending software creates the only residential real estate search engine that can run investment calculations over live listings. Revestor's investment tools and data help real estate investors and real estate professionals be more effective in their local market. Lyons is focused on carving out a large segment of the $11 Billion online real estate advertising market and the residential investors that make of 25% of the real estate market.

Lyons built his former company, from zero to $20 Million per year in revenue with $3+Billion in transactions inside of 36 months. As President & CEO of one of the fastest growing companies in San Diego, Mr. Lyons managed a $6million per year online marketing budget offering opportunity to well over 250 employee

"I know what you're thinking and you're right" ~Magnum P.I.

1. You're Not Done Yet

Winston Churchill once said that "Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts."

Ironically, most people assume that success is final and failure is fatal, but nothing could be further from the truth.

For the entrepreneur (and even the corporate 9-5er) life and business are tumultuous. Your best month ever will be followed by your absolute worst, your greatest successes often precede your biggest failures, and just when you feel like giving up, your greatest breakthroughs will occur.

Life is about the ups and downs.

You will have failures, you will have successes, and you will experience highs and lows you could never have predicted.

And during times of great success and great failure, you must take a step back and reflect.

Remember that nothing is final until you draw your last breath.

One success does not make you invincible.

One failure does not make you worthless.

It is the courage to continue, each and every day, that will determine the impact your life has.

2. Certainty is King

I want you to imagine that you recently started a new company and you are looking to hire your first employee to manage your marketing.

You have two prospects lined up with back to back interviews and on paper, you are all but certain that the first candidate will get the job.

But when he walks into the room, your certainty vanishes.

Despite his impressive resume and a long list of people with whom he's worked, something is just off.

He's shy, timid, and seems unsure of himself and his potential within your company.

When he leaves the room, you are left perplexed, hoping the next candidate shows more promise.

And he does…

The second candidate you have lined up is a man fresh out of college with only a handful of low-level contracts under his belt.

But he has an enthusiasm, a vigor, and a certainty about him that is contagious.

He responds to ever single question with a well thought out response displaying his confidence and certainty in his abilities and future, and by the time the interview concludes, you are excited about getting to work with him on a regular basis.

Who would you hire?

You see, in our modern world, certainty is king and doubt is the killer of dreams.

If you are certain of your potential, abilities, and destiny, you will overcome any obstacle, any adversity, and any challenge.

But if you are uncertain, in yourself, your chosen career path, your relationship or anything else, it will inevitably crumble and fall.

Certainty is king.

Everything else depends on it.

3. Your Health = Your Wealth

So many entrepreneurs and high performers assume that they don't have time to take care of their health.

After all, when you are running an 8-figure company, how in the world can you expect to have time to go to the gym, cook healthy meals, and sleep 8 hours a night?

Well, according to Bill and many previous podcast guests, you will never have the time to effectively run your company until you are willing to take care of your health.

Your health is the spring from which all productivity, happiness, and success flows.

If you are overweight, suffering from low energy levels, or operating suboptimally in any area of your physical or mental health, your business will suffer.

Period.

And yet, if you are anything like the majority of the population, you are probably skipping the gym, eating fast food several times a week, and sleeping only 6 hours a night.

Why?

Because that's what society has taught you to do!

We've been misinformed and taught to believe that success requires massive sacrifices in the realm of health and fitness.

Yet, the most successful entrepreneurs I know of claim that the opposite is true.

Richard Branson has been quoted as saying that "Taking care of your health is the quickest way to ensure success". Neil Patel, founder of 3 multi-million dollar companies sleeps more than 9 hours a night. And Dave Asprey, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, and biohacker claims that taking care of his health has more than 10x'd his productivity and happiness.

If you want to succeed at a high level, you must take care of your body.

So I want to challenge you to take better care of your health for just one week.

For just one week, I want you to eat real food, exercise at least 20 minutes a day, and sleep 7.5 hours a night.

If you cannot tell an appreciable difference by the end of the week, then you have my permission to go back to the way you were living before you read this article.

But I can almost guarantee you that if you take this challenge seriously, you will never neglect your health again.

4. Figure Out Your Non-Negotiables

During our interview, Bill shared a number of his daily and weekly non-negotiables, or actions that he is committed to taking, no matter what.

And while his own nonnegotiables consisted of weekly massages, acupuncture, and cryotherapy, your own list of nonnegotiables will differ based on your goals, income, and vision.

Ask yourself, "What are the things that you must do each day/week/month" to ensure that you are able to live the life of your dreams?

For some of you, this will be getting to the gym every morning, doing yoga every week, or taking a few hours to hike through the mountains.

For others, it's spending time with your kids, indulging in an hour of creative time each night, or going on a weekly date with your wife.

Whatever your nonnegotiables are, define them, write them down, and commit to them.

I promise your life will never be the same.

(If you want to hear more about nonnegotiables and how they can improve your life, check out one of the early episodes I did with Wayne Levine)

5. Decide

Modern men are undergoing a societal emasculation where the very essence of masculinity is being stripped away piece by piece.

Due to confusing gender politics, contradictory evidence, and a slew of b.s. pervading the modern media, men are more confused than ever before about what it means to be a man.

Do you need to smoke Marlboro Reds, ride a Harley, and be an international playboy?

Should you be soft, sensitive, and effeminate?

Do you need to blow shit up, drive a fast car, and make lots of money (Dan Bilzerian anybody?)?

What the hell does it mean to be a man?

While the answer to that question is dependent on the individual and extremely multi-faceted, there is one trait that is axiomatic among all "real" men.

Decisiveness.

No one and I repeat no one is attracted to a man who is indecisive, a man who cannot make up his mind and move forward, a man who cannot stand firm in his decisions and take action.

If you want to become more of a man, then learn how to make a decision and stick to it.

It's that simple.

Do you want to be in better shape? Decide that you are going to go to the gym and eat healthy, then go do it.

Want to be better with women? Decide that you will make it happen and then go take some action.

Want to make more money? Decide that you will become a millionaire no matter what and then backup that decision with massive amounts of action.

Decide. Act. Repeat.

This is the pathway to true masculinity.

Chris Winfield is an entrepreneur and productivity expert in New York City. With the use of simple systems, techniques and the power of true focus, Winfield teaches business owners how to get 40 hours of work done in 16.7 and much more.

"You can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward" ~Steve Jobs

1. Stop Postponing Your Happiness

One of the greatest diseases afflicting modern men is something I like to call "postponitis".

This sickness has ravaged mankind, depriving hard-working men of their happiness, fulfillment, and liveliness for decades. And it all starts with the seemingly innocuous word, "then".

It goes something like this…

"I am going to work my ass off, make lots of money, then I will be happy."

"I've just got to get this promotion at work, then I will have time to prioritize my health, family, and personal growth."

"Once my startup hits $100,000/month in recurring revenue, then I can relax and enjoy my life."

It's always "then" and never "now".

Men are living their whole lives in pursuit of some arbitrary goal that somehow gives them permission to live their lives, love themselves, and enjoy their time on this planet.

And frankly, it's complete bullshit!

Life happens in the now.

It doesn't happen later. It doesn't happen when you make your first million. It doesn't happen when you finally get that promotion. It doesn't even happen at IPO.

Life happens now.

And if you are constantly living your life in pursuit of something in the future (something that may or may not happen), then you will miss out on life's most precious moments and end up on your deathbed, wishing that you had a chance to do it all over again.

But you don't.

You have one life, one shot, one opportunity.

Don't waste it living for someday.

2. Money is a Magnifying Glass

Tell me if you have ever heard this phrases before?

"Money is the root of all evil."

"Rich people are greedy."

"Money can't buy happiness."

If you have been on this planet for any appreciable amount of time, then I'm going to assume that these sayings have been drilled into your head since the womb.

Can I let you in on a little secret?

They're all a load of crap!

Money is nothing more than a magnifying glass.

If you are a miserable, unhappy, and stingy person, then becoming rich will do nothing except make you a miserable, unhappy, and stingy person with a big bank account.

Conversely, if you are a happy, generous, and loving person, then becoming rich will do little to change your life other than giving you assets that allow you to be more generous, happy, and loving.

Money simply makes you more of what you already are.

So instead of focusing on earning money to attain happiness or believing that money will make you immoral or "greedy", accept the fact that money is nothing more than a tool that will amplify who you are.

3. Build Your Foundation and the Tower Will Follow

Most men set out to achieve success in a way that is completely backward.

They start by focusing on their goals instead of themselves.

They are more than willing to hustle and grind on their business for hours on end, but spending an hour in the gym? Not a chance!

They will drop $10,000 on a business consulting package, but spending $2,000 on a new mattress to improve their sleep and energy? Not going to happen!

But here's the problem…

All of your success, whether it's in your business, relationships, or social life, stems from one thing. You.

And if you are not operating at the highest levels, if you are not taking care of yourself, if you are not cultivating habits of excellence, then you are not going to succeed in the other areas of your life (and if you do, then it will not be sustainable).

Therefore, creating a strong foundation of health and high-quality habits is the first step to achieving lasting success.

Start with your body.

Hit the gym at least three times a week, follow a diet that consists of 80% real food (organic if you can afford it), and sleep at least 7 hours a week.

Then, with your body in prime condition start building routines and habits into your life that will expedite your success.

Feed your mind daily, journal, practice gratitude, and recite affirmations.

With these habits in place and your body in an optimized condition, you will be able to achieve your goals at a much faster pace while enjoying your life and feeling fulfilled.

4. The Fastest Way to Recieve is to Give

The best kept "secret" for success that almost every millionaire, billionaire, and wildly successful entrepreneur knows is this:

If you want to receive tremendous value from the marketplace, your relationships, your network, or your career, the first step is to give tremendous value without expecting anything in return.

Let me give you an example from the interview.

Since Chris lives in New York, he has a phenomenal proximity to incredibly powerful and affluent individuals.

And while this might seem like an advantageous situation, you must remember that most successful people get asked for a lot of shit.

They are constantly getting pitched by individuals who are looking for a handout or a handshake and at the end of the day, it can feel exhausting.

Luckily, Chris understood this and decided that he was going to take a different approach.

Instead of hunting these people down and asking for something, he hosts regular dinners and meet-ups where he asks one simple question "How can I serve you?"

He doesn't ask "What can you do for me?" instead, he flips conventional wisdom on its head and offers value for free.

And guess what? It has driven more deals, knowledge, and value to him than any marketing tactic of sales pitch ever has.

Why?

Because people love and trust people who are willing to give value.

Just think about this from your perspective.

Imagine you have two friends, one who is constantly asking you for loans, pitching you on his new network marketing products, and pressuring you to join him in business, and one who gives you value in the form of advice, connections, and services… All without expecting anything in return.

Both of your friends are excellent copywriters and you have a client who needs a referral for a six-figure copy contract.

Who would you recommend?

The giver or the taker?

Now ask yourself another question.

How can you give value without expecting anything in return this week? Who can you help? How can you serve others?

As weird as it might sound, the universe has an uncanny way of providing for those who provide for others, so I want to encourage you to be on the lookout for ways that you can bring more value this week.

The results might surprise you.

5. The Enemies of Fulfillment are Ego and Expectation

Since personal fulfillment is a subject that is unique to every individual, I cannot tell you how to achieve fulfillment in your own life.

But I can tell you how to eradicate fulfillment from your life.

Allow your ego to control your actions and your expectations to control your relationships.

Ego and expectation both have their uses, and in moderation, they can be used as effective motivators and filters to ensure success. However, they become problematic whenever you are the slave, not the master in the relationship.

When you allow ego to rule your life and become your sole motivator, you will find yourself pursuing goals that aren't aligned with your purpose and acting in a manner that is disingenuous and inauthentic.

When you allow your expectations to control your interactions, you will find yourself loathing people that you should love for indiscretions that you shouldn't have noted.

The more that ego and expectation run your life, the more you will find yourself at the whims of others instead of captaining your own ship.

Learn to curb your ego, swallow your pride and develop some humility.

Give others some breathing room, only set expectations that you yourself can live up to, and be forgiving in the face of failure.

If you do this, I can promise you that you will live a life that is richer, more productive, and ultimately, more fulfilling.

Tony has been a presenter on Sky Sports since 2006. He is a regular on Sky Sports News HQ, and also the regular presenter of Golfing World. He hosts a roster of other sports on Sky Sports channels 1-5.

Tony is also a personal development author and presenter. He has three books published with Virgin Books in 12 languages and is one of the country's foremost experts on NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).

He is the host of top-rated podcast Zestology, interviewing a wide range of experts in the field of health and personal development, and having lots of fun along the way. He regularly appears as a guest on other shows talking about energy, vitality, and motivation.

"Men of lofty genius, when they are doing the least work are the most active" ~Leonardo Da Vinci

1. Do Less to Achieve More

I want you to imagine that you have two friends who are starting a business.

The first friend is a firey, gung-ho, type-A personality who jumps into building his business operating by the mentality of "Ready Fire Aim!". He works hard, hustling for 16-20 hours a day, working weekends, and sleeping at his office, but his does so without taking a moment to think or plan.

The second friend, although just as oriented for action, takes a few steps back before launching his business. He learns his market, he spends time every day sitting in thought and contemplating his goals, he takes long walks in the parks after asking questions of his subconscious, and when he does start his business, he has a clear picture of exactly what he needs to do and how he needs to do it.

Who do you think will be more successful?

While society might tell you that the first man will learn at an accelerated pace and achieve success quicker, Tony believes that the second man will actually achieve greater levels of success in the long run.

Even though he was doing "less", spending plenty of time relaxing and living at a leisurely pace, Tony suggests that he will achieve more in his business because he is giving himself the mental bandwidth to properly approach problems and fully understand his goals.

Here's another example.

Imagine that I told you and a friend that you needed to get from San Diego to New York.

As soon as your friend hear's the directions, he laces up his Nikes and starts hauling ass towards the East.

You, however, take a step back, check your bank account and realize that you have more than enough to purchase a non-stop flight from the San Diego airport all the way to JFK.

After eight hours, you have successfully passed through security, boarded the plane, and landed at your destination.

Your friend, on the other hand, will not arrive in New York for several weeks (unless he is some sort of ultra athlete). Even though he took more action and did "more" it took him longer to accomplish the task and he had a more difficult journey.

As Abraham Lincoln said, "If I had 8 hours to cut down a tree, I would spend the first six sharpening my ax".

2. You Owe it to Yourself to Pursue Your Passion

When has there ever been a greater time to be alive?

Life expectancy is up, crime, poverty, and other societal diseases are down and there has never been a time in all of human history where the average man could climb the ranks of society and achieve at whatever levels he desires regardless of race, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or age.

There has never been a better time to be alive!

So why are you wasting away your opportunities?

Why aren't you pursuing your passions?

Why aren't you using all of the amazing technology and political freedoms that you have to build a life you love, a life that inspires you, a life filled with passion?

Why the hell are you wasting this opportunity!?

You have one shot at this life, one opportunity to live to the fullest, one chance… Why waste it pursuing careers and goals that you aren't truly passionate about?

I am not telling you that you need to quit your job and start your own company, or even that you need to start a side hustle.

I am saying that your life is too damn valuable to waste on uninspiring crap that doesn't light you up.

Do things you enjoy.

Pursue your passions.

Have fun.

You owe it to yourself to enjoy your life!

Because you only get one of them.

3. Just Share the Truth

Most men suck at telling the truth.

It's just a fact.

And I don't mean that we are all liars or manipulative a**holes. I simply mean that men are terrible at being authentic, honest, and vulnerable about what is really going on.

Because, quite frankly, it's hard.

It's hard to let other people in, to show our weakness, to admit that we don't have everything figured out.

It's hard to stand out from the crowd and be the only person standing for a specific cause or belief.

It's hard to share your truth and be unabashedly you!

But it's worth it.

Because when you share the truth, your truth…. You are free.

You are free from the bullshit, free from the expectations of others, and free from all the societal garbage designed to hold you back.

Share your truth and be yourself… Because anything else is a waste.

4. Manage Your Energy Not Your Time

Have you ever wondered how some people who work so little can accomplish so much, while others, who work their fingers to the bone, can come up short again and again and again?

If you have ever spent a significant amount of time among a pool of high achievers, you will quickly realize that hard work alone is not their secret to success.

Many of them sleep 9 hours a night (James Altucher and Neil Patel both do this), several spend more time reading than working (Warren Buffet and Bill Gates), and the legendary Richard Branson somehow has the time to run 400+ companies, party on his own private island, and spend time with his family and friends!

So what gives?

If the answer isn't spending more time on work, then what is it?

Well, the answer that Tony and countless other guests have suggested is that the secret to success and productivity is not time management, but energy management.

It doesn't matter how much time you throw at a task, if you are too lethargic and groggy to properly function, you won't be able to achieve it no matter how well you manage your time.

Therefore, energy, not time should be seen as your greatest asset.

But how in the world can one successfully manage your energy when there are so many different forces vying for your attention, time, and effort?

While I could write a whole book on this topic (and plenty of my previous guests have), there are three simple hacks that you can implement today to 10x your energy in less than a week.

First and foremost, you should give yourself a minimum of two hours a day to totally unplug.

No cell phones, no TV, no computer screens, just yourself, your friends, and your favorite activities… That's it.

In our modern world, most people are wildly overstimulated resulting in massive levels of mental and physical fatigue, and while you can fight it for a while, the only truly effective method that I've found to reclaim your lost energy levels is to give yourself the gift of unplugging.

In addition to stepping away from your iPhone and laptop every day, you must also make an effort to exercise at least 20 minutes a day. While it might seem counterintuitive to do something that takes energy in order to gain energy, study after study has irrevocably shown a direct correlation between exercise and energy levels (not to mention mental and physical wellbeing and longevity).

And the good news is that it doesn't take much!

You can try out the simple 7-minute workout promoted by the New York Times, go for a 20-minute jog, or just do a few calisthenics circuits from your office.

Whatever you do, I promise that if you stick with it, you will see your energy levels skyrocket.

Finally, for the last piece of advice, I must defer to the legendary Peter F. Drucker who said: "What gets measured gets managed." This is true in your business, your finances, and yes, your energy levels.

If you want a simple hack to immediately boost your energy levels so that you can accomplish more in less time and truly enjoy your life, then start tracking your energy levels throughout the day and note the elements in your life that are leading to either an increase or decrease in energy.

Every body is unique, therefore what helps or hinders one person's energy might not have the same effect for you. So tracking your energy levels and noticing patterns is the only way that you can truly optimize your energy and ensure peak performance.

5. Success at the Expense of Your Health Isn't Success at All

One of the greatest ironies of life is that the aggressive Type-A individuals who work themselves to death in order to achieve success are often the same individuals who die young and leave behind their wealth before they can ever truly enjoy it!

So many people work day in and day out to build their dream, neglecting their health and letting their bodies fall to the wayside. And when they finally do hit that million dollar mark, epic IPO, or acquisition… They are too tired, fat, and sick to enjoy any of the rewards for their hard work.

Why the hell would you want that fate?

I don't know about you, but I am in this for the long haul.

If I have to wait until I am 40 to become a millionaire so that I can take care of my body, get to the gym, eat well, sleep plenty, and enjoy my life, I will happily wait on the seven figures.

I don't believe that it's worth it to arrive at my goal too sick and tired to enjoy it.

Realize that nothing is worth your health.

No goal is worth losing your vitality.

And quite frankly, if you focus on your health first, you will find that your other goals and desires will actually manifest faster because you can pursue them with more energy and clarity than ever before.

Mo Gawdat is the Chief Business Officer for Google [X], a serial entrepreneur and author of "Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy"

Mo has an impressive combined career of 27 years, starting at IBM Egypt as a Systems Engineer before moving to a sales role in the government sector. Venturing into the UAE, Mo joined NCR Abu Dhabi to cover the non-finance sector. He then became acquainted with the consumer goods industry as Regional Manager of BAT. At Microsoft, he assumed various roles over a span of seven and a half years, in his last role at Microsoft he headed the Communications Sector across Emerging Markets worldwide.

"The gravity of the battle means nothing to those at peace"

1. The Equation for Happiness is Simple

Happiness is not complicated.

While you might not come to this conclusion by scrolling through your social media feed, watching the latest advertisements, or even reading some of the more popular personal growth and self-help books, when you truly sit down and think objectively, you will realize that happiness is simple.

Despite marketer's best attempts to prove otherwise, happiness isn't contingent upon some wild, complex, equation.

In fact, the equation for happiness is almost too simple.

Happiness is equal to or greater than the events of your life minus the expectations you have for those events.

That's it.

The equation isn't "Happiness = Fancy Clothes + A 6-Figure Salary + An Italian Sports Car and a French Bikini Model"

It's simply events – expectations.

But what does this really mean?

At the most basic level, it means that your happiness in any given situation, and thus your happiness in life, is entirely dependent on the difference between what you expect from a situation and how that situation actually turns out.

So, for example, let's say that the event in question is coming home to your wife after a long day of work.

Let's look at how your expectations of the event will determine your happiness.

On one hand, your expectation might be that when you come home after a long day of work, your wife should be preparing dinner, opening you a cold beer, and wearing a sexy outfit that tells you she's "in the mood".

On the other, your expectation might simply be that your wife should be relaxing and unwinding after her long day of work and that the two of you should prepare dinner and unwind together.

While neither of these expectations are right or wrong, they can have a tremendous effect on your happiness and well being.

If you come home with the first set of expectations and your wife has already prepared dinner but left it in the oven and is now relaxing on the couch… You are going to be unhappy and angry because your expectations were not met.

However, if you come home to the exact same situation with the second set of expectations, you will not only be happy, but you will feel an abundance of love for your wife because she went above and beyond and exceeded your expectations.

So now, you might be wondering, "If the secret to happiness is to have lower expectations, shouldn't I just stop expecting anything so that I will never be disappointed?"

Well, yes and no.

While eliminating your expectations would certainly make you happier in the short run, it proves detrimental to your well being and success in the long term.

If you have no expectations of yourself or others, then you will mistreat yourself and allow other people to walk all over you.

Therefore, the key to happiness is to first become conscious of your expectations and then consciously and intentionally craft a new set of expectations that serve you and your purpose in life.

2. We Are All Born Happy

An often forgotten truth of life is that we were all born happy.

All of us.

We are born carefree and loving, without any hate, anger, or animosity in our hearts.

It is our society that teaches us to be unhappy, to compare ourselves to others, to hate our fellow man, and to be unfulfilled.

And once you become aware of this reality, it is your job to undo the programming that society has instilled into your brain.

Luckily, the process for "deprogramming" all of the crap in your brain is simple, however, this doesn't mean it's easy.

The best way to start is to pick up some sort of daily mindfulness practice whether it's meditation, prayer, long walks in nature, or even just some sort of conscious movements like yoga or Tai Chi.

These practices allow you to detach yourself from the human experience and the brain's programming and become more aware of how you or your "superconscious" are meant to function.

Let's use the analogy of a new computer so that you can understand what I mean.

Whenever you get a new computer, everything runs smoothly. It functions exactly as it was designed, quickly opening applications, seamlessly running commands, and doing its job without a problem.

But over time, things start to slow down and problems start to arise.

You begin downloading new programs and applications, visiting questionable websites, and demanding more of your computer than the software and hardware were designed to handle.

And as you execute increasingly demanding operations, your computer starts to slow and malfunction and what once took 2 seconds now takes 2 minutes.

When this happens (and it almost always happen) the only way to restore its original performance is to return it to default settings and execute a complete factory reset.

In much the same way as a computer's default setting is speed and efficiency, our brain's default setting is happiness and contentment. But when we start installing (willingly or unwillingly) societal, religious, and familial expectations into our "operating system", we start to get bogged down, and experience unhappiness.

And when this happens, the only way to return to our original state is a "Factory reset" which typically takes the form of meditation, affirmations, journaling, and other consciousness practices.

These practices are kind of like our brain's "CTRL + ALT + DELETE" function and the more you can integrate them into your daily life, the smoother and faster you you will operate.

3. Your Emotional State is Determined by Your Thoughts, Not Events

One of the simplest, but most impactful, formulas that you can understand to achieve a happy life is this:

E + R = O

Or

Event + Response = Outcome

In other words, your emotional outcome (happy, sad, angry, loving) is not determined by the events in your life, but rather by your response to the events in your life.

For example, let's say that you are going out to meet up with a friend.

You agreed to meet at the local coffee shop around 8 a.m., but when you show up he is nowhere to be found.

You order your drink, a few minutes go by, and your friend is still absent.

At this point, you can respond in one of two ways.

First, you can assume that your friend does not respect you, get angry, and allow his tardiness to dampen your mood.

Or, you can simply assume that your friend had some sort of extenuating circumstance that stopped him from showing up on time and reframe his lateness by saying, "Great! This gives me a few minutes to read that new book I bought", resulting in a happier and more fulfilling morning.

In these two examples, the event was exactly the same, but by changing the response to the event, you achieved two wildly different outcomes.

When you understand the far reaching applications of this formula, your life will begin to change in ways that you could never expect.

Mastering your emotional response to any circumstance gives you power over the events in your life instead of allowing those events to have power over you.

And when your internal world remains unaffected by the chaos of the outside world, you will have true power in your life, business, and relationships.

4. Learn to Differentiate Between Incessant and Effective Thoughts

As it pertains to our happiness, there are only two kinds of thoughts.

Effective thoughts and incessant thoughts.

Effective thoughts are the thoughts that move the needle forward in your life, thoughts that solve problems, achieve goals, and give you a deeper understanding of your place in the cosmos.

Incessant thoughts are the negative thoughts that do nothing to improve the quality of your life or happiness even when they are true.

In the interview, Mo shared a powerful example detailing the difference between these two thoughts during a tragic situation.

At the age of 21 years old, Mo's son Ali died on the operating table during a routine surgery that should have been quick and simple.

Shocked and in pain, Mo was overwhelmed with a wave of thoughts and feelings that can only be comprehended by people who have experienced a similar tragedy in his life.

Over the coming weeks and months, Mo was faced with a single, pervasive and incessant thought, "I will never get to hug my son Ali again."

However, as he continued grieving for his son, he realized something. This thought would not bring Ali back, it would not change reality, and it would not benefit humanity.

So he made a very conscious decision to change his thinking.

Instead of thinking "I will never hug my son again", he reframed the tragedy and said, "My son is dead, now it is my duty to remember his legacy by living my life as he would have wanted and impacting the world in honor of his memory."

And while this new thought didn't take away the pain of losing his child, it allowed him to cope with the loss and make sense of the heart break.

Each of us is faced with the same thoughts day in and day out.

Even if we haven't lost a loved one, we are all faced with our own "Incessant thought demons" that seek to cripple us and hold us back from living a happy life.

Whether we are constantly thinking about a mistake that we regret, a relationship that we ruined, or an opportunity that we lost, we all have incessant loops of unhelpful thoughts playing in the back of our mind.

And the biggest problem with these thoughts is that 99% of the time… They are true!

But just because something is true, does not mean that it is advantageous.

For example, if you lost the woman of your dreams because you were too focused on your work and not focused on the relationship, you might be faced with the incessant thought "I will never have her in my life again".

Chances are, this thought is true.

But does it serve you in any way!? No!

Instead, you can choose to reframe this thought by saying "I will never have this woman in my life again, so now it is my duty to learn from my mistakes and move forward so that I can find love once more… Only this time, I will make it work."

The moment that you can learn to eradicate incessant thoughts and replace them with intentional and effective thoughts is the moment that your life will be irrevocably changed for the better.

5. Money Doesn't Make You Happier… Unless

Countless studies have been conducted on the correlation between money and happiness, and what they found was rather interesting.

Money only affects your happiness up to a certain point.

If you are living below the poverty line, increasing your income to a stable and livable level will drastically improve your happiness. However, going from $100,000 a year to $100,000 a month will only have a marginal impact on your happiness and mental well being.

However, once you have passed roughly $7,000 a month, increasing your income will only result in a nominal increase in your happiness.

So, for example, if you go from $100,000 a year to $250,000 a year, your happiness will not increase by any appreciable amount.

If this is true, then why is it that so many rich people seem to live better and happier lives?

Because they give so much of their money away!

Studies have found that one of the only ways money can make you happier after you have passed the $70,000/year threshold is if you are giving more of your money to charitable causes, family, friends, and organizations that you support.

For example, if you earn an extra $20,000 bonus this year and then use it to put a down payment on a new sports car, your happiness will only increase marginally and temporarily.

However, if you took that same $20,000 and paid for a vacation with some of your closest friends, your happiness would increase dramatically and the effects would last much longer.

So yes, money is important for your happiness.

If you cannot afford to put food on the table, increasing your income is one of the quickest ways to increase your happiness.

But after your basic living expenses are covered, giving your wealth away and spending it on the people you care about is the only way to leverage your money to increase your happiness.

6. Life is a Video Game and Challenges Make the Game Fun

Life is not fair, it is not perfect, and it is not easy.

But I'll let you in on a little secret… That's what makes life fun!

I want you to imagine that the new Call of Duty just came out, and after months of anxiously anticipating the game's release, you take it home and start playing.

You go through the tutorial, launch the first level, and then get ready to kill some virtual bad guys.

But there's a problem…

There are no bad guys to kill and no challenges to overcome.

Every level is simply a linear progression where you run from the beginning to the end as quickly as you can, avoiding all signs of danger or adversity.

Does that sound like a fun game? Probably not.

And guess what? Life is nothing more than a very intense and large scale video game.

So why in the world would you want it to be easy? Why would you want a challenge and problem free life?

Just think about it for a moment.

Imagine that I came to your house tomorrow and gave you an Olympic Gold Medal.

How would you feel?

If you are anything like me, you would probably think that the medal was pretty cool, but after a few minutes of looking at it, you would quickly feel disenchanted and bored because you did nothing to earn the medal.

You'd probably sell it or leave it in your sock drawer because it has no significance in your life.

But imagine that you have been training for the Olympics since you were 12 years old.

You worked every single day for the past ten years of your life, and when you finally had the opportunity, you competed and won.

How would that medal make you feel?

I would chance a guess that the medal would have more meaning and significance to you than darn near anything else that you owned.

Why?

Because you worked for it, you suffered for it, and you endured more pain than most people are willing to endure in order to call that medal your own.

In much the same way, we gain meaning in our lives by overcoming challenges, by enduring pain, and by beating adversity.

Life isn't meant to be easy.

It's meant to be a challenge.

A challenge that you enjoy and have fun with, yes. But a challenge nonetheless.

7. You Don't Find Your Purpose… It Finds You

So many people in the modern world are concerned with finding their purpose.

But they fail to realize that you don't find your purpose, your purpose finds you.

People don't just wake up one day and say "Hmm, I know exactly what I am meant to do and how I am going to do it".

Instead, they find the intersection of their passions and talents and they work for years honing their skills, setting and conquering goals, and becoming better and better.

Then, when they have mastered their craft, an opportunity presents itself, often in the most unlikely manner, and all of the hard work they put in begins to make sense.

If you want to live a life of purpose, then you must first start by building your skills and growing yourself until you are ready to handle your purpose.

Typically, this means working on rather mundane skills and projects so that you can grow your capacity as a human being.

Think about the classic Karate kid movie where Mr. Miyagi had his student wax the car and paint the fence.

These tasks seemed dull, monotonous, and frustrating.

But, when the time came, and the first punch was thrown, these dull tasks that the Karate Kid had practiced suddenly made sense and he realized that he had been practicing for the purpose of learning a new skill.

Steve Jobs summarized this truth when he said

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in the monasteries of Thailand, India, and Burma. He has taught meditation internationally since 1974 and is one of the key teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West.

After graduating from Dartmouth College in Asian Studies in 1967 he joined the Peace Corps and worked on tropical medicine teams in the Mekong River valley. He met and studied as a monk under the Buddhist master Ven. Ajahn Chah, as well as the Ven. Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma.

Returning to the United States, Jack co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with fellow meditation teachers Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein and the Spirit Rock Center in Woodacre, California. Over the years, Jack has taught in centers and universities worldwide, led International Buddhist Teacher meetings, and worked with many of the great teachers of our time. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a father, husband, and activist.

His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies including his most recent book, No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are.

"Look at every path closely and deliberately, try it as many times as you think necessary, then ask yourself and yourself alone one question: Does this path have a heart? If it does the path is good, if it doesn't it is of no use."

1. Did You Love Well?

Most people live their lives focusing on all of the wrong things.

They spend their time caught up in the societal hamster wheel trying to keep up with the Joneses, get that next promotion, and finally "make it" … At least according to society's standards.

But what they fail to realize is that society is broken.

We are operating under outdated and ineffective ideologies and philosophies that no longer serve humanity.

At the end of the day, there is only one question for which you will be held accountable for… How did you love?

How did you treat the most important people in your life? How did you care for your neighbor? How did you love the people who mattered most and the people who had no one else to love them?

When it is all said and done, it won't matter what kind of car you drove, what sort of house you lived in, or what type of watch adorned your wrist.

All that matters is how you loved.

2. Seek Validation from Yourself and Yourself Only

One of the biggest mistakes that people, especially men, make when it comes to living a happy and fulfilling life is that they search for validation outside of themselves.

Men, in particular, commonly seek external validation from the women in their lives.

They mistakenly believe that if they have a hot girlfriend with a tight body and an insane sex drive that they are somehow more of a man that they are worthy, that they have all the validation that they need.

The problem is that men stop valuing themselves and their own opinions and beliefs and start valuing only the approval and validation of women.

This makes it easy for men to compromise their character and value in order to feel like they are a "real" man.

And it's total crap.

The only person from whom you should seek validation is yourself.

Are you happy? Are you pleased with the man you are becoming? Are you fulfilled?

Because at the end of the day, that is what matters, not the validation given to you by others.

3. Take Time to Quiet Your Mind

We live in an age of incessant noise and distraction, yet despite our vast swaths of resources, no one has seen it fit to teach society how to quiet their mind and listen to their inner voice.

Instead, our lives are run by advertising, sitcoms, and viral YouTube videos that do little to make us better or help us align ourselves with our deepest desires and the true calling of our hearts.

Is it any wonder that depression, anxiety, and divorce rates are at an all time high?!

If you want to live a life that is more in tune with your life's purpose, with your true mission, and with your deepest happiness, then you must learn to quiet your mind and listen to that inner voice on a daily basis.

This doesn't have to be complicated.

Simply sitting in meditation, prayer, or contemplation for a few minutes a day will allow you to tap into your inner wisdom and find the guidance that you (likely) need.

Dan Clark began his career as an athlete, playing football for the Los Angeles Rams and in Europe. He later starred as Nitro on the extraordinarily popular reality television show American Gladiators. Clark then turned to acting and screenwriting. He wrote, directed, and starred in the independent film Looking for Bruce.

He recently hosted ESPN Classic's American Gladiators marathon, and he continues to consult on the revamped American Gladiators franchise. He is the author of the memoir "Gladiator: A True Story of 'Roids, Rage, and Redemption" and is currently authoring his next book. "Fuck Dying: How Cheating Death Kicked My Ass into Loving, Learning, and Living my Best Life".

"Sports taught me about life. Almost dying taught me how to live" ~Dan Nitro Clark

1. Don't Wait to Be Happy

Men in the 21st century seem convinced that happiness is something that can only be attained.

It can only be attained when you get the hot girl, make the 7-figures, drive an Italian sports car, launch your company, or have that dream body.

But the truth of the matter is much different.

Happiness is not something that you attain. It is something that you give yourself.

Right now, in this very second, you have everything you need to feel happy and deeply believe that you have and are enough.

Right now, you can give yourself the gift of joy by choosing to focus on what is good instead of what is missing.

Right now, this very second, you have the power to be happy.

But many of you reading this are not…

And, in my experience, the primary reason that men don't allow themselves to feel happy is that they believe happiness will steal their drive, ambition, and hunger.

And sometimes, they are right.

It's a fine line to walk, and when you base your happiness on the wrong things, you might find that happiness does steal your ability to achieve and excel.

However, when you predicate your happiness on who you are and how you show up in the world… That's when the game changes.

When you can give yourself permission to be happy now because you are working towards becoming the man that you need to be, that's when the world will open up to you and you will find yourself becoming the best man you can become… And enjoying the hell out of the process.

As our first guest, Hal Elrod says, "Love the life you have while creating the life of your dreams."

2. Comparison is the Theif of Joy

It seems that our entire economy has been built on comparison.

If you look at the marketing and advertising for any popular company, you will undoubtedly notice that they are sending us a very loud and very clear message.

You are not good enough.

You don't have the six pack like he does, you don't have the car this guy drives, you don't have the business this 20-year old built, you don't have the girl like this pop star does.

And the list goes on and on.

Society encourages us to compare ourselves to others and enter into a laughable competition where we constantly try to gain a leg up on everyone else.

But guess what?

Comparing yourself to others is the most dangerous trap you can fall into.

Because there will always be someone who is smarter than you, bigger than you, better than you at something!

This is just how we were designed, it's nothing more than biology and genetic variation… It doesn't mean you aren't worthy of love and joy or that you shouldn't be proud of yourself just because someone else is doing better.

Now some of you reading this might assume that comparison itself is a bad thing, but that's not necessarily the case.

Comparison is only bad when we compare ourselves to others instead of the person we have the potential to become.

Compare yourself to who you want to be and who you know you have the potential to be.

Compare your current reality to the reality that you know is waiting for you if you can just rise up and take action.

When you entertain these kinds of comparisons, you will find that your life will start to transform and you will show up with more passion, enthusiasm, and best of all, joy.

3. Big Boys Don't Cry… But Real Men Do

When we are young, we are taught "Big boys don't cry".

We are told that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, that crying makes you a bitch, and that any displays of discomfort or internal turmoil immediately makes you a "beta" male.

And while that might have been true in the world of cavemen and neanderthals, it's not true in modern life.

If you want to be a "real" man, a man who can show up with power, precision, and excellence, then you must cry.

You must learn how to deal with your emotions in a positive way instead of simply suppressing feelings that you dislike.

Emotions, in their most basic forms, are messengers.

They occur whenever we need to know or understand something.

Anger sends you a message that you have been wronged.

Sadness sends you a message that something important to you is not the way that it should be.

Happiness sends you the message that you are on the right track and making the right decisions.

Emotions are messengers.

And when we suppress the message, we end up doing more harm than good because we are not addressing the problem that the emotion is trying to warn us of.

However, when you allow yourself to feel everything deeply and intimately and ask yourself the question "What is this trying to tell me", you empower yourself to move forward in your life and take charge of your mental and emotional well being in a powerful way.

When you feel angry, you don't suppress it. You feel it and notice that it's happening because someone is violating your standards. Now, you have the power to resolve the situation and eliminate the emotion.

When you feel sad, don't suppress it. Instead, feel it and figure out why you are sad. What is causing your emotion? Find the answer, resolve the situation, and move forward in your life.

Big boys might not cry.

But you can be damn sure that real men do.

4. Express Gratitude for the Smallest Moments of Beauty

Life is precious.

And sometimes, it takes knocking on death's door to realize this.

When Dan had his heart attack, he came back with a renewed sense of appreciation and gratitude for even the smallest things in his life.

He spoke about the gratitude and awe he feels simply at the smell of coffee in the mornings.

He talked about how the flowers on the side of the road (which he used to ignore) fill him with a sense of wonder and joy.

Because at one point… He never thought he would smell the coffee or see those flowers ever again.

And because of this, he is grateful.

Luckily for you, you don't need to experience a heart attack or near death experience in order to enjoy and appreciate the small moments of beauty in your life.

The only thing that you must do is commit and notice.

Each day when you wake up, find 3-5 simple beauties that you are grateful for.

Maybe it's the way that the sun is coming through the windows, the peace you see on your partner's face while they sleep, the aroma of your morning coffee, or the ecstasy that your dog expresses whenever you come out of your room.

Whatever it is, notice it and write it down.

I promise that if you make this a habit, your world will never be the same.

5. Just Do Something

If you feel stuck in your health, your business, or your relationships… Just do something.

Don't overthink it, don't overanalyze it, just do something.

If you are writing a book and can't figure out the perfect thing to put down on the paper… Just write something. Let it suck. Then edit it later.

If you are struggling with your health and can't figure out how to lose that extra weight… Just do something. Go do 1,000 pushups, run a half marathon, or lift some weights and figure out the exact mechanics as you go along.

If you are struggling in your relationships, just do something. Start the conversation, open that door, be willing to be honest and vulnerable.

Whenever you find yourself stagnating, just do something.

As Winston Churchill said, "The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, but the worst thing you can do is nothing."

After successfully launching his career at Booz-Allen & Hamilton strategy consulting firm, Krister's father tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to move back to St. Louis to apply his knowledge and experiences to help the family business. Ungerboeck Software had just celebrated its 12th anniversary and needed some fresh ideas and new leadership techniques.

Within 3 years, Krister had helped turn around the 14 person business and grow revenue 250%. Over the course of the next 20 years, Krister and the capable team at Ungerboeck Software grew the company over 3,000%. The team added customers in over 50 countries served out of offices in St Louis, UK, Germany, France, Australia, Hong Kong and China.

During his time as CEO, the company won 5 consecutive Top Workplace awards and had employee turnover 50% lower than the industry average.

From 2001 – 2007, Krister moved to France and Germany to drive growth in Europe and the Middle East (EMEA). During that period, EMEA accounted for nearly 75% of the company's revenue growth.

In 2016, Krister executed a unique exit strategy that involved retaining 100% family ownership, while passing the torch to an exceptional non-family team that he personally recruited in 2014 and 2015. As part of the leadership transition, he formed a Board of Directors and recruited external Directors, a new CEO and VP Finance to guide the company going forward.

Ungerboeck Software continues on to great success under non-family leadership as one of a handful of large, 100% family-owned software companies in the US.

"What got you here won't get you there."~Marshall Goldsmith

1. What Gets You Here Won't Get You There

One of the most common (yet foolish) assumptions in leadership and management is that "What got me here will get me there".

Or, in other words, what it took to get your company to $1,000,000 is the same thing that it will take to get your company to $10,000,000 or $20,000,000 or more.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

In order to growth hack, or rapidly accelerate the success of your business, you must be willing to take new approaches, create new positions, hire new managers, and even reduce your personal paycheck for a short amount of time.

Growing a company takes sacrifice.

You will have to delegate tasks you would rather do yourself, hire employees who you might believe unnecessary, and methodically remove yourself from the minutia that once demanded so much of your time.

So be prepared.

Rapid growth is achievable and it is a helluva ride.

But it is also one of the hardest things you will ever do.

2. Understand the Importance of Positive Feedback

Many of the leaders that I know come from homes where positive reinforcements were either absent or unnecessary.

They were either the student with overbearing parents who burdened them with unachievable expectations, or they were the star football player, straight-A student, and Student Body President who knew they were killing it and didn't need any reminders.

And when you are raised in either of these environments, you find that positive reinforcement and signs of approval and satisfaction are rare.

And since positivity was a rare commodity during childhood, these individuals tend to carry this trend with them into the board room.

This is when things start to get messy.

If you are trying to build a company, you must realize that a company is made up of individuals, many of whom will be like you. However, the vast majority of the people that you hire will come from wildly different backgrounds than your own, with wildly different needs and expectations.

And this is great! You want to be surrounded by a diverse group of minds and ideas who can attack challenges and obstacles from angles that you didn't even know existed.

However, when you are unable to tailor your leadership style, particularly your ability to give positive reinforcement to employees, is when you will start to fail as a CEO or president.

You might not need positive affirmation, but your employees do. You might thrive on criticism and challenge, but many of your employees don't. And you need to be aware of this.

Learning to positively reinforce underperforming employees is possibly one of the most difficult but rewarding skills that you can master.

And the sooner you can do it, the sooner you will elicit massive growth.

From your employees, your company, and best of all, yourself.

3. You're Not That Smart

I hate to burst your bubble, but you are not that smart.

I don't care who you are, what degree you have, or how many accolades current adorn your home dresser.

You are not that smart… Period.

I don't mean that you have a low IQ or that you aren't incredibly well versed in your craft, I simply mean that you are not smart enough to handle the vast demands required to grow a company to the 7, 8, or 9 figure range by yourself.

You need people in your corner who are smarter and better than you at what they do.

Sure, you might be an amazing product engineer, marketer, or leader, but can you set up all of the necessary servers in your IT department? Can you run the HR department by yourself? Can you specifically target your Facebook advertising to maximize your ROI while drastically cutting your budget?

If you can, then I want to take my hat off and applaud you… Because you are some sort of superhuman.

But if you are like the rest of us, then you will quickly realize that you cannot create massive growth by yourself.

You need people who are smarter than you, better than you, and hungrier than you who can meld into your brand and mission and help you accomplish your goals in record time.

Seth Swirsky is a best selling author, clinical psychotherapist, artists, songwriter, and creative. He is most well known for his book "21 Ways to a Happier Depression: A Creative Guide to Getting Unstuck from Anxiety, Setbacks, and Stress"

"Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself, What is Salvador Dali going to do today?" ~Salvador Dali

"Life is in the striving, not the arriving"

1. Be Open to Who You May Be and Regrow Your Balls

Men in the 21st century are suffering from an identity crisis.

Not because we don't know who we are or who we want to be, but because society and PC culture have told us that who we are is wrong.

It's wrong for men to be men.

It's wrong for you to have your own pursuits and passions.

It's wrong for you to do anything other than work your fingers to the bone in pursuit of arbitrary goals that aren't really aligned with who you are.

And let me tell you…

It's bullshit.

You are allowed to be who you are, you are allowed to be happy, and you are allowed to do whatever you damn well please.

Many of you reading this are avid video game enthusiasts who have given up your hobby, not because it interferes with your life, but because society has told you that it makes you weak.

Many of you reading this love art and music but have relegated these pastimes to the realm of "Someday" simply because society has told you that you should focus on your work.

Many of you reading this want nothing more than to pack a backpack and go out into the great outdoors, yet society has told you to be more reasonable and do the safe thing.

But guess what?

Society is broken and it's time for you to reclaim your masculinity, regrow your balls, and do the things that you want to do.

Life is short and precious, so stop wasting it trying to live up to societal standards that don't serve you and your mission.

If you want something, go get it. If you want to do something, do it.

Be who you are and enjoy your life… It's the only one you've got.

2. Women Want to Be Heard

Society has tried to make us believe that women want a 6′ 2″ man with a chiseled jaw, big arms, a deep voice, and a bank account containing countless zeroes.

And once again, society is wrong.

Of course, women want an attractive, athletic, hard working man. But what they want even more is a man who makes them feel heard.

A man who doesn't pretend to listen to them but who actually shuts the hell up and just listens!

Women don't want a man who pretends to listen, who shuts his brain off and zones out, they want a man who truly hears them, who understands what they are saying and who genuinely cares.

Take a common example.

Your spouse or significant other comes home to a house sink full of dirty dishes and a house that looks like something out of Hoarders.

You've had a long day at work and, much to their chagrin, you are sitting on the couch relaxing.

Your wife starts to angrily complain about how you never clean the house or help out with the household chores.

In this moment, you have three options. You can ignore them, you can get defensive, or you can listen… Really listen.

If you choose to listen you will realize something.

Your wife, most likely, isn't upset about the dirty house or the nasty dishes, they are upset because they don't feel like their time and energy is being valued.

So instead of getting defensive, take a step back and listen.

Acknowledge what your wife is trying to tell you and respond accordingly.

"I hear you babe, and if I understand what you are saying, you are upset because you never feel like you have time to relax and unwind. I'm busy with work too and I understand… So why don't we just hire a house cleaner to take care of things so that we don't have to worry about it anymore? Would that make things easier for you?"

Do you notice how this response acknowledges your wife's feelings and makes her feel like she has really been heard?

When you learn to apply this skill of really listening in your romantic relationships, you will find that the majority of your problems and disagreements disappear.

3. Optimize Your Environment to Optimize Your Life

If you want to optimize your life, reduce stress and anxiety, and truly operate at peak levels of performance, then you must optimize your environment.

Plenty of "gurus" and entrepreneurs will claim that you should ignore your environment and simply hustle your way to your goals, but the truth of the matter is that your environment is stronger than your willpower.

If you are trying to quit smoking and your work at a tobacco shop, you might be able to kick the addiction… But you will be much more likely to end the habit once and for all if you are in an environment that makes it difficult for you to have that cigarette.

Similarly, if you are a ball of stress and anxiety, coming home to a messy home with violent movies playing on the television and loud noise from the neighbors keeping you up at night, your stress and anxiety will multiply.

However, if you can optimize your environment by eliminating clutter, creating a space that elicits feelings of calm and serenity, you will find that your stress and anxiety will become manageable.

Do not underestimate the power of your environment.

If you have been struggling to get motivated, beat an addiction, move on from a divorce, or any plethora of other struggles, the key might lie in changing your environment.

Whether you need to move apartments, cities, or even countries, when you can change and optimize your environment to be more conducive to your goals, you will find that your life and success starts to accelerate at an unprecedented pace.

4. Take a Break

Seriously…

As men it's easy to get trapped in hustle mode, working ourselves to death in order to achieve goals that aren't truly aligned with our purpose.

And when your nose is constantly to the grindstone, it can be difficult to examine your life, solve problems, and enjoy the precious moments each day.

So take a break.

Step back from the laptop and just relax.

Give yourself permission to enjoy your life.

If you want to sit in front of the TV, watch a few hours of football and crash out with a beer in your hand… Do it.

If you want to play Call of Duty after a long day of work, then load up your darn Xbox, join a match, and go kill some virtual baddies.

If you want to sit in your room with a nice glass of wine and an empty canvas, then do it! Create your own masterpiece and enjoy your damn life.

Stop working so hard and start enjoying your life more.

The funny thing is, that when you start to take more breaks when you give yourself permission to relax, your brain will unwind and be better equipped to handle the adversity and challenge of your work life.

It might seem counterintuitive, but I promise, it works.

5. Know When You are Mismatched

How many times have you heard the saying "Marriage is hard work"?

A lot, right?

Have you ever taken a step back and considered that this statement might be a steaming load of crap?

What if relationships weren't meant to be hard? What if you weren't supposed to have an endless stream of fights and frustrations?

What if your relationships, especially your marriage… Is supposed to be easy?

Well, I am here to tell you that it is.

Yes, you will have fights in any relationship. Yes, you will have disagreements. Yes, you will have times where things are hard.

But the sum total of your interactions with your spouse or significant other should feel easy. It should flow naturally.

If you find that your relationship is requiring too much work and effort, chances are good that you are not in the right relationship.

Marriage was never meant to be this phenomenal challenge… It's meant to be a fun relationship between two people whose goals, futures, and dreams are genuinely aligned.

If you find that your current relationship doesn't match up to this, then you might need to take a step back and reexamine things.

Are you truly meant for each other? Are you truly matched with your current partner?

If not, it's time to cut your losses and move on.

Life is simply too short to waste it in relationships that aren't meant to be.