Knowledge For Men

Seth Swirsky is a best selling author, clinical psychotherapist, artists, songwriter, and creative. He is most well known for his book "21 Ways to a Happier Depression: A Creative Guide to Getting Unstuck from Anxiety, Setbacks, and Stress"

"Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself, What is Salvador Dali going to do today?" ~Salvador Dali

"Life is in the striving, not the arriving"

1. Be Open to Who You May Be and Regrow Your Balls

Men in the 21st century are suffering from an identity crisis.

Not because we don't know who we are or who we want to be, but because society and PC culture have told us that who we are is wrong.

It's wrong for men to be men.

It's wrong for you to have your own pursuits and passions.

It's wrong for you to do anything other than work your fingers to the bone in pursuit of arbitrary goals that aren't really aligned with who you are.

And let me tell you…

It's bullshit.

You are allowed to be who you are, you are allowed to be happy, and you are allowed to do whatever you damn well please.

Many of you reading this are avid video game enthusiasts who have given up your hobby, not because it interferes with your life, but because society has told you that it makes you weak.

Many of you reading this love art and music but have relegated these pastimes to the realm of "Someday" simply because society has told you that you should focus on your work.

Many of you reading this want nothing more than to pack a backpack and go out into the great outdoors, yet society has told you to be more reasonable and do the safe thing.

But guess what?

Society is broken and it's time for you to reclaim your masculinity, regrow your balls, and do the things that you want to do.

Life is short and precious, so stop wasting it trying to live up to societal standards that don't serve you and your mission.

If you want something, go get it. If you want to do something, do it.

Be who you are and enjoy your life… It's the only one you've got.

2. Women Want to Be Heard

Society has tried to make us believe that women want a 6′ 2″ man with a chiseled jaw, big arms, a deep voice, and a bank account containing countless zeroes.

And once again, society is wrong.

Of course, women want an attractive, athletic, hard working man. But what they want even more is a man who makes them feel heard.

A man who doesn't pretend to listen to them but who actually shuts the hell up and just listens!

Women don't want a man who pretends to listen, who shuts his brain off and zones out, they want a man who truly hears them, who understands what they are saying and who genuinely cares.

Take a common example.

Your spouse or significant other comes home to a house sink full of dirty dishes and a house that looks like something out of Hoarders.

You've had a long day at work and, much to their chagrin, you are sitting on the couch relaxing.

Your wife starts to angrily complain about how you never clean the house or help out with the household chores.

In this moment, you have three options. You can ignore them, you can get defensive, or you can listen… Really listen.

If you choose to listen you will realize something.

Your wife, most likely, isn't upset about the dirty house or the nasty dishes, they are upset because they don't feel like their time and energy is being valued.

So instead of getting defensive, take a step back and listen.

Acknowledge what your wife is trying to tell you and respond accordingly.

"I hear you babe, and if I understand what you are saying, you are upset because you never feel like you have time to relax and unwind. I'm busy with work too and I understand… So why don't we just hire a house cleaner to take care of things so that we don't have to worry about it anymore? Would that make things easier for you?"

Do you notice how this response acknowledges your wife's feelings and makes her feel like she has really been heard?

When you learn to apply this skill of really listening in your romantic relationships, you will find that the majority of your problems and disagreements disappear.

3. Optimize Your Environment to Optimize Your Life

If you want to optimize your life, reduce stress and anxiety, and truly operate at peak levels of performance, then you must optimize your environment.

Plenty of "gurus" and entrepreneurs will claim that you should ignore your environment and simply hustle your way to your goals, but the truth of the matter is that your environment is stronger than your willpower.

If you are trying to quit smoking and your work at a tobacco shop, you might be able to kick the addiction… But you will be much more likely to end the habit once and for all if you are in an environment that makes it difficult for you to have that cigarette.

Similarly, if you are a ball of stress and anxiety, coming home to a messy home with violent movies playing on the television and loud noise from the neighbors keeping you up at night, your stress and anxiety will multiply.

However, if you can optimize your environment by eliminating clutter, creating a space that elicits feelings of calm and serenity, you will find that your stress and anxiety will become manageable.

Do not underestimate the power of your environment.

If you have been struggling to get motivated, beat an addiction, move on from a divorce, or any plethora of other struggles, the key might lie in changing your environment.

Whether you need to move apartments, cities, or even countries, when you can change and optimize your environment to be more conducive to your goals, you will find that your life and success starts to accelerate at an unprecedented pace.

4. Take a Break

Seriously…

As men it's easy to get trapped in hustle mode, working ourselves to death in order to achieve goals that aren't truly aligned with our purpose.

And when your nose is constantly to the grindstone, it can be difficult to examine your life, solve problems, and enjoy the precious moments each day.

So take a break.

Step back from the laptop and just relax.

Give yourself permission to enjoy your life.

If you want to sit in front of the TV, watch a few hours of football and crash out with a beer in your hand… Do it.

If you want to play Call of Duty after a long day of work, then load up your darn Xbox, join a match, and go kill some virtual baddies.

If you want to sit in your room with a nice glass of wine and an empty canvas, then do it! Create your own masterpiece and enjoy your damn life.

Stop working so hard and start enjoying your life more.

The funny thing is, that when you start to take more breaks when you give yourself permission to relax, your brain will unwind and be better equipped to handle the adversity and challenge of your work life.

It might seem counterintuitive, but I promise, it works.

5. Know When You are Mismatched

How many times have you heard the saying "Marriage is hard work"?

A lot, right?

Have you ever taken a step back and considered that this statement might be a steaming load of crap?

What if relationships weren't meant to be hard? What if you weren't supposed to have an endless stream of fights and frustrations?

What if your relationships, especially your marriage… Is supposed to be easy?

Well, I am here to tell you that it is.

Yes, you will have fights in any relationship. Yes, you will have disagreements. Yes, you will have times where things are hard.

But the sum total of your interactions with your spouse or significant other should feel easy. It should flow naturally.

If you find that your relationship is requiring too much work and effort, chances are good that you are not in the right relationship.

Marriage was never meant to be this phenomenal challenge… It's meant to be a fun relationship between two people whose goals, futures, and dreams are genuinely aligned.

If you find that your current relationship doesn't match up to this, then you might need to take a step back and reexamine things.

Are you truly meant for each other? Are you truly matched with your current partner?

If not, it's time to cut your losses and move on.

Life is simply too short to waste it in relationships that aren't meant to be.

Seth Swirsky is a best selling author, clinical psychotherapist, artists, songwriter, and creative. He is most well known for his book “21 Ways to a Happier Depression: A Creative Guide to Getting Unstuck from Anxiety, Setbacks, and Stress”

“Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself, What is Salvador Dali going to do today?” ~Salvador Dali

“Life is in the striving, not the arriving”

1. Be Open to Who You May Be and Regrow Your Balls 

Men in the 21st century are suffering from an identity crisis.

Not because we don’t know who we are or who we want to be, but because society and PC culture have told us that who we are is wrong.

It’s wrong for men to be men.

It’s wrong for you to have your own pursuits and passions.

It’s wrong for you to do anything other than work your fingers to the bone in pursuit of arbitrary goals that aren’t really aligned with who you are.

And let me tell you…

It’s bullshit.

You are allowed to be who you are, you are allowed to be happy, and you are allowed to do whatever you damn well please.

Many of you reading this are avid video game enthusiasts who have given up your hobby, not because it interferes with your life, but because society has told you that it makes you weak.

Many of you reading this love art and music but have relegated these pastimes to the realm of “Someday” simply because society has told you that you should focus on your work.

Many of you reading this want nothing more than to pack a backpack and go out into the great outdoors, yet society has told you to be more reasonable and do the safe thing.

But guess what?

Society is broken and it’s time for you to reclaim your masculinity, regrow your balls, and do the things that you want to do.

Life is short and precious, so stop wasting it trying to live up to societal standards that don’t serve you and your mission.

If you want something, go get it. If you want to do something, do it.

Be who you are and enjoy your life… It’s the only one you’ve got.

2. Women Want to Be Heard 

Society has tried to make us believe that women want a 6′ 2″ man with a chiseled jaw, big arms, a deep voice, and a bank account containing countless zeroes.

And once again, society is wrong.

Of course, women want an attractive, athletic, hard working man. But what they want even more is a man who makes them feel heard.

A man who doesn’t pretend to listen to them but who actually shuts the hell up and just listens!

Women don’t want a man who pretends to listen, who shuts his brain off and zones out, they want a man who truly hears them, who understands what they are saying and who genuinely cares.

Take a common example.

Your spouse or significant other comes home to a house sink full of dirty dishes and a house that looks like something out of Hoarders.

You’ve had a long day at work and, much to their chagrin, you are sitting on the couch relaxing.

Your wife starts to angrily complain about how you never clean the house or help out with the household chores.

In this moment, you have three options. You can ignore them, you can get defensive, or you can listen… Really listen.

If you choose to listen you will realize something.

Your wife, most likely, isn’t upset about the dirty house or the nasty dishes, they are upset because they don’t feel like their time and energy is being valued.

So instead of getting defensive, take a step back and listen.

Acknowledge what your wife is trying to tell you and respond accordingly.

“I hear you babe, and if I understand what you are saying, you are upset because you never feel like you have time to relax and unwind. I’m busy with work too and I understand… So why don’t we just hire a house cleaner to take care of things so that we don’t have to worry about it anymore? Would that make things easier for you?”

Do you notice how this response acknowledges your wife’s feelings and makes her feel like she has really been heard?

When you learn to apply this skill of really listening in your romantic relationships, you will find that the majority of your problems and disagreements disappear.

3. Optimize Your Environment to Optimize Your Life 

If you want to optimize your life, reduce stress and anxiety, and truly operate at peak levels of performance, then you must optimize your environment.

Plenty of “gurus” and entrepreneurs will claim that you should ignore your environment and simply hustle your way to your goals, but the truth of the matter is that your environment is stronger than your willpower.

If you are trying to quit smoking and your work at a tobacco shop, you might be able to kick the addiction… But you will be much more likely to end the habit once and for all if you are in an environment that makes it difficult for you to have that cigarette.

Similarly, if you are a ball of stress and anxiety, coming home to a messy home with violent movies playing on the television and loud noise from the neighbors keeping you up at night, your stress and anxiety will multiply.

However, if you can optimize your environment by eliminating clutter, creating a space that elicits feelings of calm and serenity, you will find that your stress and anxiety will become manageable.

Do not underestimate the power of your environment.

If you have been struggling to get motivated, beat an addiction, move on from a divorce, or any plethora of other struggles, the key might lie in changing your environment.

Whether you need to move apartments, cities, or even countries, when you can change and optimize your environment to be more conducive to your goals, you will find that your life and success starts to accelerate at an unprecedented pace.

4. Take a Break 

Seriously…

As men it’s easy to get trapped in hustle mode, working ourselves to death in order to achieve goals that aren’t truly aligned with our purpose.

And when your nose is constantly to the grindstone, it can be difficult to examine your life, solve problems, and enjoy the precious moments each day.

So take a break.

Step back from the laptop and just relax.

Give yourself permission to enjoy your life.

If you want to sit in front of the TV, watch a few hours of football and crash out with a beer in your hand… Do it.

If you want to play Call of Duty after a long day of work, then load up your darn Xbox, join a match, and go kill some virtual baddies.

If you want to sit in your room with a nice glass of wine and an empty canvas, then do it! Create your own masterpiece and enjoy your damn life.

Stop working so hard and start enjoying your life more.

The funny thing is, that when you start to take more breaks when you give yourself permission to relax, your brain will unwind and be better equipped to handle the adversity and challenge of your work life.

It might seem counterintuitive, but I promise, it works.

5. Know When You are Mismatched

How many times have you heard the saying “Marriage is hard work”?

A lot, right?

Have you ever taken a step back and considered that this statement might be a steaming load of crap?

What if relationships weren’t meant to be hard? What if you weren’t supposed to have an endless stream of fights and frustrations?

What if your relationships, especially your marriage… Is supposed to be easy?

Well, I am here to tell you that it is.

Yes, you will have fights in any relationship. Yes, you will have disagreements. Yes, you will have times where things are hard.

But the sum total of your interactions with your spouse or significant other should feel easy. It should flow naturally.

If you find that your relationship is requiring too much work and effort, chances are good that you are not in the right relationship.

Marriage was never meant to be this phenomenal challenge… It’s meant to be a fun relationship between two people whose goals, futures, and dreams are genuinely aligned.

If you find that your current relationship doesn’t match up to this, then you might need to take a step back and reexamine things.

Are you truly meant for each other? Are you truly matched with your current partner?

If not, it’s time to cut your losses and move on.

Life is simply too short to waste it in relationships that aren’t meant to be.

Adam Braun is an American entrepreneur, best-selling author, and philanthropist. He is the Founder of Pencils of Promise, a non-profit organization that builds schools and increases access to education for children in the developing world.

He has recently founded a company called MissionU which is an alternative to higher education that is set to disrupt the industry and change the way that we view higher learning.

"Live not in dreams but in contemplation of a reality that is perhaps the future." ~Rainer Rilke

1. Say "No" More

One of the most powerful words in the English language is the word "No".

If you learn to use this word effectively, you can add dozens of hours of productive time to your weeks, reduce your mental and emotional stressors, and eliminate the vast majority of the tasks that aren't truly serving you.

But there's a catch…

In order to become a master of the word "No" you must first learn to prioritize your own time, success, and happiness above anyone else's.

It might sound selfish or egotistic, but the simple fact of the matter is that you should come first.

If you aren't taking care of yourself by saying "no" to the things that aren't serving you, then you are withholding your potential and your power from the world.

Think about it…

If you say "Yes" to working on a project for 3 clients even though that project will not pay you what you are worth and isn't in alignment with your goals and values, then what's going to happen when you are swamped with work but have a new client reach out to you with a position that would change your life?

Or imagine that you have said "Yes" to several meetings that you didn't want to attend and that didn't serve you in any way… You are now forced to say "No" when an opportunity presents itself that is in true alignment with your vision.

And all of these seemingly little and innocuous compromises will eventually accumulate until you are off track, off purpose, and up to your neck in things that aren't part of your ultimate mission on this planet.

2.Learn to Delegate

Richard Branson, the (in)famous entrepreneur, author, playboy, and philanthropist was once asked to share the secret behind his numerous billion-dollar companies.

His answer was surprising…

He didn't say anything about needing a good idea, or working hard, or having lots of capital.

No, he said that his secret was to find people who were better than he was, hire those people, and provide them with everything they needed to take his companies into the stratosphere.

If you truly want to excel at business, then you must learn to delegate.

Find people who are better than you are at a given position and give them the reigns.

Because you can't do it alone.

And you would be a fool to try.

3. Be an Entrepreneurial Missionary, not a Mercenary

There are two types of entrepreneurs.

Missionaries and mercenaries.

The entrepreneurial mercenary has one focus… Money.

And while money is not necessarily a bad thing (as we will discuss momentarily) you need to realize that anyone who is solely focused on wealth will likely lose motivation, tire out, and quit.

Instead, you should strive to be an entrepreneurial missionary, or, in other words, an entrepreneur whose end goal encompasses more than just a few added zeroes in your bank account.

You need to have a mission for your business, you must genuinely want to serve the world and make an impact, and believe that you are the person to do it.

Otherwise, you will spend years of your life tirelessly chasing money and success without ever making a real dent in the universe, without ever making a difference.

And the irony of all of this?

Entrepreneurs who focus on adding value and serving their world first tend to be the entrepreneurs who make the greatest profits in the long run.

So regardless of whether you own your own company or are working for someone else, do your best to ensure that every step you make and every goal you set is for a purpose and a mission greater than yourself.

The results will astonish you…

4. Money is an Avenue to Freedom

Money is a complicated beast.

It can bring about so much joy, happiness, and fulfillment, but it can also be at the heart of so much pain, agony, and suffering.

Because of the dichotomous and confusing nature of money (and the fact that few of us receive a relevant financial education), it can be easy to fall into the trap of viewing money as either "Evil" or the "End all be all" of life.

I am here to tell you… It's neither.

Money is simply an avenue to freedom, it's a tool, an instrument to be wielded by those who possess it.

With money, you can do some incredible things.

You can transform lives, build a lasting legacy, and create a real impact on the universe.

Without it, your options are severely limited, and your freedom is hindered.

The sooner you realize that money is a tool and that in and of itself, has no moral standing, the sooner you will be able to create real wealth for yourself that you can use to bring about a significant amount of good in the universe.

5. Set a Vision, Stick to It, and Stay Accountable

If you want to achieve your goals and live a life of success and fulfillment, then you must set a vision, stick to it, and get massively accountable.

You see, most of you reading this right now have at least one of these three steps in order.

Maybe you have a vision, but you are constantly changing it and find yourself unable to follow through.

Maybe you have been working tirelessly towards a goal or a dream but you know in your heart that it isn't truly congruent with your values and deepest desires.

Maybe you have surrounded yourself with people who lift you to a higher level and want you to excel… But you have no vision for which they can hold you accountable.

Whatever the case may be, if you want to excel in all areas of life and truly live a level 10/10 life, then you must set a crystal clear vision for what you want, stick to that vision, and get massive accountability from people you respect and admire.

If any one of these ingredients is missing, the whole ship will sink and your dreams will never come to fruition.

Set a vision.

Stick to your vision.

And get accountable.

Now…

Adam Braun is an American entrepreneur, best-selling author, and philanthropist. He is the Founder of Pencils of Promise, a non-profit organization that builds schools and increases access to education for children in the developing world.

He has recently founded a company called MissionU which is an alternative to higher education that is set to disrupt the industry and change the way that we view higher learning.

“Live not in dreams but in contemplation of a reality that is perhaps the future.” ~Rainer Rilke

1. Say “No” More

One of the most powerful words in the English language is the word “No”.

If you learn to use this word effectively, you can add dozens of hours of productive time to your weeks, reduce your mental and emotional stressors, and eliminate the vast majority of the tasks that aren’t truly serving you.

But there’s a catch…

In order to become a master of the word “No” you must first learn to prioritize your own time, success, and happiness above anyone else’s.

It might sound selfish or egotistic, but the simple fact of the matter is that you should come first.

If you aren’t taking care of yourself by saying “no” to the things that aren’t serving you, then you are withholding your potential and your power from the world.

Think about it…

If you say “Yes” to working on a project for 3 clients even though that project will not pay you what you are worth and isn’t in alignment with your goals and values, then what’s going to happen when you are swamped with work but have a new client reach out to you with a position that would change your life?

Or imagine that you have said “Yes” to several meetings that you didn’t want to attend and that didn’t serve you in any way… You are now forced to say “No” when an opportunity presents itself that is in true alignment with your vision.

And all of these seemingly little and innocuous compromises will eventually accumulate until you are off track, off purpose, and up to your neck in things that aren’t part of your ultimate mission on this planet.

2.Learn to Delegate

Richard Branson, the (in)famous entrepreneur, author, playboy, and philanthropist was once asked to share the secret behind his numerous billion-dollar companies.

His answer was surprising…

He didn’t say anything about needing a good idea, or working hard, or having lots of capital.

No, he said that his secret was to find people who were better than he was, hire those people, and provide them with everything they needed to take his companies into the stratosphere.

If you truly want to excel at business, then you must learn to delegate.

Find people who are better than you are at a given position and give them the reigns.

Because you can’t do it alone.

And you would be a fool to try.

3. Be an Entrepreneurial Missionary, not a Mercenary 

There are two types of entrepreneurs.

Missionaries and mercenaries.

The entrepreneurial mercenary has one focus… Money.

And while money is not necessarily a bad thing (as we will discuss momentarily) you need to realize that anyone who is solely focused on wealth will likely lose motivation, tire out, and quit.

Instead, you should strive to be an entrepreneurial missionary, or, in other words, an entrepreneur whose end goal encompasses more than just a few added zeroes in your bank account.

You need to have a mission for your business, you must genuinely want to serve the world and make an impact, and believe that you are the person to do it.

Otherwise, you will spend years of your life tirelessly chasing money and success without ever making a real dent in the universe, without ever making a difference.

And the irony of all of this?

Entrepreneurs who focus on adding value and serving their world first tend to be the entrepreneurs who make the greatest profits in the long run.

So regardless of whether you own your own company or are working for someone else, do your best to ensure that every step you make and every goal you set is for a purpose and a mission greater than yourself.

The results will astonish you…

4. Money is an Avenue to Freedom

Money is a complicated beast.

It can bring about so much joy, happiness, and fulfillment, but it can also be at the heart of so much pain, agony, and suffering.

Because of the dichotomous and confusing nature of money (and the fact that few of us receive a relevant financial education), it can be easy to fall into the trap of viewing money as either “Evil” or the “End all be all” of life.

I am here to tell you… It’s neither.

Money is simply an avenue to freedom, it’s a tool, an instrument to be wielded by those who possess it.

With money, you can do some incredible things.

You can transform lives, build a lasting legacy, and create a real impact on the universe.

Without it, your options are severely limited, and your freedom is hindered.

The sooner you realize that money is a tool and that in and of itself, has no moral standing, the sooner you will be able to create real wealth for yourself that you can use to bring about a significant amount of good in the universe.

5. Set a Vision, Stick to It, and Stay Accountable 

If you want to achieve your goals and live a life of success and fulfillment, then you must set a vision, stick to it, and get massively accountable.

You see, most of you reading this right now have at least one of these three steps in order.

Maybe you have a vision, but you are constantly changing it and find yourself unable to follow through.

Maybe you have been working tirelessly towards a goal or a dream but you know in your heart that it isn’t truly congruent with your values and deepest desires.

Maybe you have surrounded yourself with people who lift you to a higher level and want you to excel… But you have no vision for which they can hold you accountable.

Whatever the case may be, if you want to excel in all areas of life and truly live a level 10/10 life, then you must set a crystal clear vision for what you want, stick to that vision, and get massive accountability from people you respect and admire.

If any one of these ingredients is missing, the whole ship will sink and your dreams will never come to fruition.

Set a vision.

Stick to your vision.

And get accountable.

Now…

After successfully launching his career at Booz-Allen & Hamilton strategy consulting firm, Krister's father tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to move back to St. Louis to apply his knowledge and experiences to help the family business. Ungerboeck Software had just celebrated its 12th anniversary and needed some fresh ideas and new leadership techniques.

Within 3 years, Krister had helped turn around the 14 person business and grow revenue 250%. Over the course of the next 20 years, Krister and the capable team at Ungerboeck Software grew the company over 3,000%. The team added customers in over 50 countries served out of offices in St Louis, UK, Germany, France, Australia, Hong Kong and China.

During his time as CEO, the company won 5 consecutive Top Workplace awards and had employee turnover 50% lower than the industry average.

From 2001 – 2007, Krister moved to France and Germany to drive growth in Europe and the Middle East (EMEA). During that period, EMEA accounted for nearly 75% of the company's revenue growth.

In 2016, Krister executed a unique exit strategy that involved retaining 100% family ownership, while passing the torch to an exceptional non-family team that he personally recruited in 2014 and 2015. As part of the leadership transition, he formed a Board of Directors and recruited external Directors, a new CEO and VP Finance to guide the company going forward.

Ungerboeck Software continues on to great success under non-family leadership as one of a handful of large, 100% family-owned software companies in the US.

"What got you here won't get you there."~Marshall Goldsmith

1. What Gets You Here Won't Get You There

One of the most common (yet foolish) assumptions in leadership and management is that "What got me here will get me there".

Or, in other words, what it took to get your company to $1,000,000 is the same thing that it will take to get your company to $10,000,000 or $20,000,000 or more.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

In order to growth hack, or rapidly accelerate the success of your business, you must be willing to take new approaches, create new positions, hire new managers, and even reduce your personal paycheck for a short amount of time.

Growing a company takes sacrifice.

You will have to delegate tasks you would rather do yourself, hire employees who you might believe unnecessary, and methodically remove yourself from the minutia that once demanded so much of your time.

So be prepared.

Rapid growth is achievable and it is a helluva ride.

But it is also one of the hardest things you will ever do.

2. Understand the Importance of Positive Feedback

Many of the leaders that I know come from homes where positive reinforcements were either absent or unnecessary.

They were either the student with overbearing parents who burdened them with unachievable expectations, or they were the star football player, straight-A student, and Student Body President who knew they were killing it and didn't need any reminders.

And when you are raised in either of these environments, you find that positive reinforcement and signs of approval and satisfaction are rare.

And since positivity was a rare commodity during childhood, these individuals tend to carry this trend with them into the board room.

This is when things start to get messy.

If you are trying to build a company, you must realize that a company is made up of individuals, many of whom will be like you. However, the vast majority of the people that you hire will come from wildly different backgrounds than your own, with wildly different needs and expectations.

And this is great! You want to be surrounded by a diverse group of minds and ideas who can attack challenges and obstacles from angles that you didn't even know existed.

However, when you are unable to tailor your leadership style, particularly your ability to give positive reinforcement to employees, is when you will start to fail as a CEO or president.

You might not need positive affirmation, but your employees do. You might thrive on criticism and challenge, but many of your employees don't. And you need to be aware of this.

Learning to positively reinforce underperforming employees is possibly one of the most difficult but rewarding skills that you can master.

And the sooner you can do it, the sooner you will elicit massive growth.

From your employees, your company, and best of all, yourself.

3. You're Not That Smart

I hate to burst your bubble, but you are not that smart.

I don't care who you are, what degree you have, or how many accolades current adorn your home dresser.

You are not that smart… Period.

I don't mean that you have a low IQ or that you aren't incredibly well versed in your craft, I simply mean that you are not smart enough to handle the vast demands required to grow a company to the 7, 8, or 9 figure range by yourself.

You need people in your corner who are smarter and better than you at what they do.

Sure, you might be an amazing product engineer, marketer, or leader, but can you set up all of the necessary servers in your IT department? Can you run the HR department by yourself? Can you specifically target your Facebook advertising to maximize your ROI while drastically cutting your budget?

If you can, then I want to take my hat off and applaud you… Because you are some sort of superhuman.

But if you are like the rest of us, then you will quickly realize that you cannot create massive growth by yourself.

You need people who are smarter than you, better than you, and hungrier than you who can meld into your brand and mission and help you accomplish your goals in record time.

After successfully launching his career at Booz-Allen & Hamilton strategy consulting firm, Krister’s father tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to move back to St. Louis to apply his knowledge and experiences to help the family business.  Ungerboeck Software had just celebrated its 12th anniversary and needed some fresh ideas and new leadership techniques.

Within 3 years, Krister had helped turn around the 14 person business and grow revenue 250%.  Over the course of the next 20 years, Krister and the capable team at Ungerboeck Software grew the company over 3,000%. The team added customers in over 50 countries served out of offices in St Louis, UK, Germany, France, Australia, Hong Kong and China.

During his time as CEO, the company won 5 consecutive Top Workplace awards and had employee turnover 50% lower than the industry average.

From 2001 – 2007, Krister moved to France and Germany to drive growth in Europe and the Middle East (EMEA).  During that period, EMEA accounted for nearly 75% of the company’s revenue growth.

In 2016, Krister executed a unique exit strategy that involved retaining 100% family ownership, while passing the torch to an exceptional non-family team that he personally recruited in 2014 and 2015.   As part of the leadership transition, he formed a Board of Directors and recruited external Directors, a new CEO and VP Finance to guide the company going forward.

Ungerboeck Software continues on to great success under non-family leadership as one of a handful of large, 100% family-owned software companies in the US.

“What got you here won’t get you there.”~Marshall Goldsmith

1. What Gets You Here Won’t Get You There 

One of the most common (yet foolish) assumptions in leadership and management is that “What got me here will get me there”.

Or, in other words, what it took to get your company to $1,000,000 is the same thing that it will take to get your company to $10,000,000 or $20,000,000 or more.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

In order to growth hack, or rapidly accelerate the success of your business, you must be willing to take new approaches, create new positions, hire new managers, and even reduce your personal paycheck for a short amount of time.

Growing a company takes sacrifice.

You will have to delegate tasks you would rather do yourself, hire employees who you might believe unnecessary, and methodically remove yourself from the minutia that once demanded so much of your time.

So be prepared.

Rapid growth is achievable and it is a helluva ride.

But it is also one of the hardest things you will ever do.

2. Understand the Importance of Positive Feedback 

Many of the leaders that I know come from homes where positive reinforcements were either absent or unnecessary.

They were either the student with overbearing parents who burdened them with unachievable expectations, or they were the star football player, straight-A student, and Student Body President who knew they were killing it and didn’t need any reminders.

And when you are raised in either of these environments, you find that positive reinforcement and signs of approval and satisfaction are rare.

And since positivity was a rare commodity during childhood, these individuals tend to carry this trend with them into the board room.

This is when things start to get messy.

If you are trying to build a company, you must realize that a company is made up of individuals, many of whom will be like you. However, the vast majority of the people that you hire will come from wildly different backgrounds than your own, with wildly different needs and expectations.

And this is great! You want to be surrounded by a diverse group of minds and ideas who can attack challenges and obstacles from angles that you didn’t even know existed.

However, when you are unable to tailor your leadership style, particularly your ability to give positive reinforcement to employees, is when you will start to fail as a CEO or president.

You might not need positive affirmation, but your employees do. You might thrive on criticism and challenge, but many of your employees don’t. And you need to be aware of this.

Learning to positively reinforce underperforming employees is possibly one of the most difficult but rewarding skills that you can master.

And the sooner you can do it, the sooner you will elicit massive growth.

From your employees, your company, and best of all, yourself.

3. You’re Not That Smart

I hate to burst your bubble, but you are not that smart.

I don’t care who you are, what degree you have, or how many accolades current adorn your home dresser.

You are not that smart… Period.

I don’t mean that you have a low IQ or that you aren’t incredibly well versed in your craft, I simply mean that you are not smart enough to handle the vast demands required to grow a company to the 7, 8, or 9 figure range by yourself.

You need people in your corner who are smarter and better than you at what they do.

Sure, you might be an amazing product engineer, marketer, or leader, but can you set up all of the necessary servers in your IT department? Can you run the HR department by yourself? Can you specifically target your Facebook advertising to maximize your ROI while drastically cutting your budget?

If you can, then I want to take my hat off and applaud you… Because you are some sort of superhuman.

But if you are like the rest of us, then you will quickly realize that you cannot create massive growth by yourself.

You need people who are smarter than you, better than you, and hungrier than you who can meld into your brand and mission and help you accomplish your goals in record time.

Dan Clark began his career as an athlete, playing football for the Los Angeles Rams and in Europe. He later starred as Nitro on the extraordinarily popular reality television show American Gladiators. Clark then turned to acting and screenwriting. He wrote, directed, and starred in the independent film Looking for Bruce.

He recently hosted ESPN Classic's American Gladiators marathon, and he continues to consult on the revamped American Gladiators franchise. He is the author of the memoir "Gladiator: A True Story of 'Roids, Rage, and Redemption" and is currently authoring his next book. "Fuck Dying: How Cheating Death Kicked My Ass into Loving, Learning, and Living my Best Life".

Dan Clark began his career as an athlete, playing football for the Los Angeles Rams and in Europe. He later starred as Nitro on the extraordinarily popular reality television show American Gladiators. Clark then turned to acting and screenwriting. He wrote, directed, and starred in the independent film Looking for Bruce.

He recently hosted ESPN Classic’s American Gladiators marathon, and he continues to consult on the revamped American Gladiators franchise. He is the author of the memoir “Gladiator: A True Story of ‘Roids, Rage, and Redemption” and is currently authoring his next book. “Fuck Dying: How Cheating Death Kicked My Ass into Loving, Learning, and Living my Best Life”.

Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in the monasteries of Thailand, India, and Burma. He has taught meditation internationally since 1974 and is one of the key teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West.

After graduating from Dartmouth College in Asian Studies in 1967 he joined the Peace Corps and worked on tropical medicine teams in the Mekong River valley. He met and studied as a monk under the Buddhist master Ven. Ajahn Chah, as well as the Ven. Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma.

Returning to the United States, Jack co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with fellow meditation teachers Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein and the Spirit Rock Center in Woodacre, California. Over the years, Jack has taught in centers and universities worldwide, led International Buddhist Teacher meetings, and worked with many of the great teachers of our time. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a father, husband, and activist.

His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies including his most recent book, No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are.

Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in the monasteries of Thailand, India, and Burma. He has taught meditation internationally since 1974 and is one of the key teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West.

After graduating from Dartmouth College in Asian Studies in 1967 he joined the Peace Corps and worked on tropical medicine teams in the Mekong River valley. He met and studied as a monk under the Buddhist master Ven. Ajahn Chah, as well as the Ven. Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma.

Returning to the United States, Jack co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with fellow meditation teachers Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein and the Spirit Rock Center in Woodacre, California. Over the years, Jack has taught in centers and universities worldwide, led International Buddhist Teacher meetings, and worked with many of the great teachers of our time. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a father, husband, and activist.

His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies including his most recent book, No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are.