'koi.'

Collection II - 'antithesis.'
Track 03. - 'koi.'
Prod. By Blū Tha Gürū.

They said I must never go black—

Or I may not come back—

And so I decided, upon that day, that I must go black, whilst also being able to still “go back” and so— I became—

…”Jack Black”

So what was your name before, then?

…that's not important.

[The IMPENETRABLE TEN]

Tina Fey - the boss of things and people's

Yeah, but what's her power?

That is her power

I'm not doing this show!

You are doing this show.

Amy Peohler or however you spell it

Gazunrite.

You're—welcome?

What's her power?

Fear of NOTHING.

(And I mean absolutely nothing. )

At all.

Ever.

Maya Rudolph - is actually an ancient psyc mystic who crafts potions, casts spells, enchants objects, and crafts vehicles capable of entering interdimensional hyperspace,

Ratchel Dratch - power over cats — as many as all the cats in the world at once, sometimes, even.

Kristen Wiig- bewilderment - bedazzling

Kristen Shaal mindfuckery/ mindbowing

Melissa Mccarthy - general shapeshifting and miscellaneous.

Miscellaneous?

The Cosmic Avenger

Damn. That dude lost his whole name.

He lost everything.

What's his power.

Shut up.

(Whatever.)

So what are the rest of their names, then?

What, they want names?

I just figured out their powers!

(Besides shape shifting and scaring the everlivingshit out of people—)

AIGH!

*toots*

(Sometimes literally.)

Are we really sinking low enough to do fart jokes?

Are we really squatting low enough to actually—

*toots*

{Enter The Multiverse}

Yes.

“The Toot Fairy”

What! Which one is that!

(I'll let you figure it out.)

MS. CELLANEOUS.

MISS CILANEOUS?

MIS—

That's—

MELISSA MCCARTHY

OBVIOUSLY, it's me—right?

It's me?

It's— whatever.

{Enter The Multiverse}

L E G E N D S

CUT TO:

Oh, I get it—

They're Taylor swifting me!

Taylor swifting is the act of making threatning or frightening gestures to a future celebrity in order to make them jump, react or flinch.

[Taylor Swift]

As you can see, this has worked miraculously well.

[shit blows up]

People screaming, panicking—

Trampling, stampeding

TAYLOR SWIFT

-_-

{Enter The Multiverse}

SETH MCFARLENE

Only ever pretty much says

*giggity*

And—

Yee.

—and nobody is sure that its even him the whole time, or just like—

[another alien shapeshifter]

Giggity.

Yee.

His entire character arch is literally almost having no other lines, to his frustration, as he tries to communicate his wants and needs, but cannot.

(throwing his arms up in frustration)

YEE.

*big mad*

GIGGITY.

CUT TO:

WHERE ARE MY PANTS?

YONCÉ, WHERE'S THAT COFEE?

I'M COMING, JESUS–

JESUS

Watch it.

Amen.

If you drop that watermelon, i'll kill you.

Oh NO!

Ok.

Ok.

[pause]

Now, run.

DON'T DROP THE SOAP.

WHAT

*SOAP*

W000000AHHH.

THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL.

THIS IS OUT OF–

GOD

I got this.

GOD, YOU'RE DRUNK

You know, this one was almost right–

You got your dopplegangers?

UH huh.

Alright. Come on.

Hm. Wait.

Just make sure s/he–

Is it a “she”

Whatever, come on.

Just make sure she sees you.

Look. I just got. A lot on my mind right now,

I can't write this.

GOF

I got this.

Wtf is going on HERE.

VO.

Hmm let me guess

YOUNG JACK BLACK

[Insert here]

Close enough.

I got this.

Something, something–

lalala

OK, GET ME OUT OF THIS MOVIE

GET ME OUT OF THIS PARTY.

I WANT TO GO HOME.

GOD, GO HOME,

YOU'RE DRUNK.

THIS IS MY HOUSE.

That's right. It's your HOUSE:

GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS.

SO go HOME.

GOD

YOu know what. You're right. I don't need this.

FInally.

God, she's so wasted.

Where's my Keys?

OKay, now i'm understanding

DRIVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Jesus, this thing just goes on and

Look at this point ,

ALICIA KEYS

I'm on it.

GOD is writing this, i'm just–

An actor, I guess.

TV-MA

Drama

When the—

[The Festival Project ™ ]

Nvm? I guess!?

RITA is the first AI designed specifically with asset protection in mind—

RITA, protect my assets.

LATER:

RITA (robotic voice, but gangster)

Yo, Peter.

RITA [robotic AI voice]

This mother fucker right here actually tried to play me for a fool.

Please elaborate, RITA

RITA

Divulging plot for political assasination and asset liquidation…

In the heights

Complications

Man, it's just crazy how they assimilated you with reverence

What exactly does that even mean?

Let's find out

You know what?

You're right.

Reverend.

Major Tom.

Sire! You must come quickly.

Must I?

You must

*must DIE!*

For what?

No time for an explanation, the page is turning

SN-TRASHFREE-4XR4-ZV6W-4ZR4-VYA9

It ain't easy being supa me

So I switch it to sunni b

So sweet, I'm a honey be

Money don't mean a thing

If I ain't got no love in it

I been craving some Mickey d's

But I'm vegan, so luckily

My energy is tripling

Three threes,

I bet your listening

I'm livin in the

Kingdom of Heaven yes

I'm blessed, kids;

That was just a test, kids -ū

It's true, this:

I didn't want to do this:

I'm sick of this Sunnï Blū shit

If orange is the new black

And hello yellow

Like pikachu,

I choose too

Pull it like a loose tooth,

Loose change, two strange truths

To shoot thru

Pull up in AK I might shoot ū

LA one day,

Uptown A

Confused YouTube

Today to JFK

Poof, dude!

I'm the toothe fairy

You should bury me—like seeds

I grow trees and

I

Speak in tongues, (just like cree, RIP, though)

You can't scare me,

I don't care

And I'm too aware of you

Tie you to a chair

And I'm preparing you for

Cake, bitch

Happy Birthday,

I'm famous, baby just don't—

Baby don't leave

Baby don't leave

Baby don't leave

Baby don't leave!

Maybe I spoke too soon

I opened your notebook,

so consumer

Prove me wrong but

I could be much blonder

And I could have two sons

And one less drunk

Ex-husband

(That's funny, don't.)

Shh.

Don't bring it up again

Cause it's beginning to ruffle feathers

My expressions of these deep regressions

No regrets though,

I begets flow,

10 doors open every time

One closes,

So

Portal—

I got my foot in all of em

I'm walking awkward,

Cause my cock is swinging

To the theme of

Johnny Cochran

This is not

as seen on TV

but amen

Just promise, if you gon leave

We gone stay friends,

Like Jennifer Aniston

Baby don't leave

Baby don't leave

Baby don't leave

Baby don't leave!

Curiosity has just killed two cats

But the truth is,

I just wanted the algorithm to see me

Confused as to

Who switched with him

This isn't him,

I'll admit: the one that's meant for me

Or was, at least,

Again, adjust my misery and memories

With sympathies for something haunting me

In dreams an frequencies

Please, believe me

I needed you

And might still need

Somebody

Everybody's nothing

but just a body or a hobby

Not a husband, or a daughter,

Or a son:

All I lost was

Over

Okay,

stop it

What you've got to know is:

Every time this lady sings this song,

Something amazing happens–

What is so great about this–

I don't get it.

But like,

Behind her.

Every time.
Does not disappoint

What do you want from me?

Ooh, it's bad .

What don't I want from you?

[BILLIE ELLISH'S Grammies begin singing in a harmony, forming a great symphony. She doubles back, pausing for a moment—then shrugging it off, before a grand gesture

I'm on my hands and knees

Just seeing dreams

Whatare you saving it for

What are you saving it for

Grocery store horror show

Slow motion drum roll

What are you saving it for

What are you saving it for

I'd rather a friend than a father figure

Video games and department show shopping

Discretion and internet interests,

Never more than the start in Athens

The triad, the triggers

You promised!

Though not as important

Of the promise you once made

No more arguments, man

It's like all of a sudden,

She loves me again

But it doesn't take back all the things she said

All the things she did

All the things I did

For the things she did

All the things she said

For the things she did

The things she said

The things she said

Plant a seed, let it grow

Let it breathe, don't you know

Take it easy, the day off

Don't say a word,

Don't move a muscle

Easy, easy on the eyes

Easy, easier on the years

Shivers on the mark of the beast

Cause it's been 6 years at least

Since he—

Don't do it:

Time moves different here,

In the 9th dimension

Light a candle, spread some ashes on some

Simple synchronicities

Remember me

When you forget yourself

To be remembered

remember the family

Fame, defiling, misfortune

The torture

The fortune

My name up in lights on the awning I'm under

In some google drive

A long drive out from Boston

Bassoon in my onyx

My name in the

Name in the

Cherubs on the tusks

Cheeriot on top

I polished off a box of cereal

On some rooftop

Just earlier,

Thanks for the reminder.

Imm burned as the beats on the countertop

Burned, like the end of the gun

Could have forgotten your number

Could have figured the father for

Dollars I've got in the

[The Festival Project ™]

The pleasure sensors

Changing with the wind

—I have a lot to do today

Staring at the plague

Became the fit

To get the fitness in her

Seven sacred songs she's writing

Kept beneath her pillow

Like a gunfight

But who moved faster!?

She wished and then became another

Never narrow eyes

Or birds of feather

Playing games and praying

Saving for yourself

Only the best part

Remember then

The games we played

At heavens gates

From light,

Eternal Death

(The plague, the plague)

Fastened in your monster,

Facinating embers in your memory

You thought you'd burned

But are awakened once again

Playing in your memory

For time, the shadow

Waiting under blue light

In your room

(The plague, the plague)

Move over

Four hours in the light,

and 20 in the shadows;

A good man always does

Bad things,

With a family.

Staying balanced,

20 icons becoming unmantled

20 eyes, and only one soul

One, God

But it runs the whole world,

Don't it!

I want a dozen donuts,

And one more problem

20 Hours in the Dark,

For four hours or so,

We're rolling.

I meditated a home in Zion

In Athens, in Rome, once

The only problem was,

It was pro- Pompei

part one.

(I'm gonna go off.)

Don't you get it, Ms.

That depositing your money

In my spank bank

Is paying you a compliment?

Don't you know that I love you?

We have the same taste in men!

Don't you know that I love God,

And she wouldn't steer me wrong about

That one object,

I've been

Dying my eyes on

And plucking my blondes

Doing wall squats

I love all mantras

Old classic cars,

—flavored sparking water

I love jackets

And purses

And politics

Irons

And orgasms

I love what I love

And a curse is a curse—

For a robot

But I woke up with blood in my boner

And mugs full of coffee

I'm on God

(Keep slamming the door, you'll get older.)

I'm growing backwards like Benjamin button

That's Benjamin Franklin

And frankly Thomas Edison died

—whose that check complimenting?

I want a divorce

And a shovel

Police report promises

Amazon out of my arteries

Objects and all of the

Things that I want

That God promised

For watching Tonight Show

(the one starring Carson)

I picked Jack Paar.

That wasn't an option.

Well, that's my choice.

Fine, but you're not winning any arguments with that one.

What arguments.

Nobody knows who that guy is.

I can name them in order

The dojo was open this morning

The Dodji was functional;

All Aliocha

For all of my

Honest to God,

I want water and salt

At the same time

Where'd you go when you died?

Looking for you!

That—

!!

I was there the whole time.

INT. NEW YORK. DAY

Bad decisions were indeed about to be made.

The time is currently frozen.

Speaking of frozen…

let it GO.

I don't know. I've been fascinated with the talking heads lately…I think that might be one of them.

No, this is more like scary monsters

—and super creeps.

Hm.

I'll have to admit—

This is getting quite interesting;

Oh, hello.

First, there was the ghost of Johnny Carson.

How do you do?

How do you do?

That guy is wild af.

Or was.

Now there's this Jack Paar Guy, who I'm sure is somehow….

Oh, the magic of television!

Is it possible that The Devil could be using this man as a disguise to hant me with temptation, and bend my mind?

It is possible that Jimmy Fallon is the devil himself, yes.

I doubt that.

I frankly don't, in fact.

I'd yet at all discovered what his true placement within the hierarchy were; an obvious workhorse, and successful operative— this man was indeed being used by someone or something— but the only question left standing was—

WHO?

Don't you touch that man. He's fragile.

There, there.

I've become quite belligerent lately and my intentions are no longer as certain even to myself as they once were before— but definitely not to anyone else.

Is there anyone else?

I thought you should know, they've found your letter.

Which letter, exactly?

Aha, alright—

That's enough, now.

Heathens.

Whatever.

Stay out of my way.

Stay out of my face.

I'll try not to pose as a camera.

What the fuck are you doing?

I'm taking a nap.

How could you sleep like this?!

I'm not sleeping like that. I'm sleeping like this.

whatever.

Didn't I tell you before to lay off of it?

I did lay off of it.

It kept laying back on.

And?

And?!

What do you want?

I've got mind controlled robot drones circling my block, one to the left of my apartment and one to my right.

I might be the only free thinking person in this neighborhood for miles.

And you've chosen with all of your free thoughts to think about Jimmy Fallon?

I've chosen not to talk about the recurring thoughts that I can't talk about—-

And chosen to focus on the multiple dramas interwoven into the project which may- or-may- not involve a handful of like-minded and equally skilled monologuists and top not performers as such

Oh, nevermind—-

I figured out what he was, after all.

{Enter The Multiverse}

L E G E N D S

No, that was the other one.

It's gonna be really hard for me to sit here and not slap the shit out of you.

I can't feel, anyway.

(Shrugs) all for the best.

Strawberry cornbread.

That does sound good.

Whatever.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

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