Bill Lampton: Hi there. Welcome to the Biz Communication Show. I’m your host Bill Lampton, the biz communication guy, and our eighth year with the Biz Communication Show bringing onto the show business communication experts, and through our conversation, you and I can pick up business communication tips that will be very valuable for us. Today I have a guest, I don’t often know my guest, but I have a guest that I’ve known for a dozen years or so, delighted to bring onto the program today Kristina Rhoades. Kristina Rhoades is a long-time disability consultant and advocate, a writer, motivational speaker, and proud wife and mom. A former Ms. Wheelchair California, she has had a career in the disability industry modeling and marketing for a variety of products that improve accessibility. Kristina has an MS in organizational leadership and a BA in mass communication. She resides in New Mexico with her husband, who’s also her childhood best friend Jacob, and their 14-year-old daughter Cameron. In her spare time, she enjoys making art and jewelry, volunteering in the local community, and supporting live music. So I know you will welcome Kristina Rhoades. Hello Kristina, great to see you.

Kristina Rhoades: Hi Bill, it’s so good to be with you again.

Bill Lampton: Well I think back Kristina to how we first became acquainted and how I recognized right away as a speech coach and as a professional speaker, what a role model you are for communication. Even today a few minutes ago, you and I were talking about when you were with the radio station WBCX at Brenau University in Gainesville, Georgia, where I live and where you lived at the time, and I happened to put on Twitter that I had always enjoyed participating on radio, and so you texted me back and next thing I knew, we had a very brief interview, you said let’s get going, and for two years, we had the opportunity to work together co-hosting what we called the Business Communication Corner. And so you are not a novice in the communication business. What I believe our viewers and listeners would like to know first is, how did you develop your presentation skills? I think of your vitality, I think of your diction, I think of your nonverbal messages, it all just comes together so vibrantly and you’re one of the most listenable radio colleagues that I’ve ever associated with. So tell us, I don’t think those things just happen, how did you develop those skills?

Kristina Rhoades: Oh well thank you first Bill for the kind words, I appreciate it very much. Um, I think it’s a bit of a two-part answer for me. Um, part of it’s my personality, I’ve always been an outgoing person, um, very social, I enjoy people, I enjoy talking to people, but I do often wonder how much of that came from just my life experience as well. So being somebody in a wheelchair, uh, I often am approached by strangers, um, people ask questions about my situation or about my wheelchair or about my disability. Um, I’ve had when I was young, very many medical appointments and um, situations where I am, you know kind of being interviewed and grilled by um, a therapist or a doctor or a nurse or different people trying to fit me for a wheelchair. So I wonder if um, those experiences growing up helped just build my courage and my comfort in talking with strangers and being kind of in the spotlight or you know going in public and having a whole room of people look at me because I’m in a wheelchair might’ve made me a little more comfortable um, you know being having attention on me. So I wonder that. But I also have to give credit to Brenau University, which is where we met and what you were just referring to where WBCX the radio station was. Um, that’s where I received my BA in mass communication and I stayed there as well to do my MS. Um, and I guess coming in with a natural inclination and interest in public speaking and um, communication, Brenau really helped me hone my skills and develop um, really all the pieces that I need to to properly give a presentation and to put put my thoughts together in a manner um, that are that are easily digestible by my audience. Um, so I have to, yeah, I have to give lots of credit to Brenau.

Bill Lampton: I think we could say that uh unlike um many of your younger colleagues, you were basically on stage for for your childhood. Now one one point I know we have talked about before, your disability was at a very young age and your mother had a wonderful way of dealing with that. And she made you feel special in ways that other people might not get the kind of encouragement and support that you did. Uh let’s go back to when you were 18 months old and there was a swim meet that you were engaged in, maybe swim competition, tell tell us about that and your mother’s role in that please.

Kristina Rhoades: Oh Bill, thanks. Um, not sure if it was a competition or you know I don’t really know what to call it, but I’ll give a little background to the audience. Um, I got a spinal cord injury when I was just 10 months old, um, and so obviously was in the hospital for a period of time recovering from that. Got out of the hospital a little before I was a year and a half. Um, I come from a family that is a big water family, my grandpa at the time lived on a boat in Marina del Rey, California, all my my mom and my aunts and uncles were all all raised on the ocean, swimming and doing water sports. So uh it was it just kind of part of my family culture, it was really important to my mom that I was able to swim. Now remember that this is 1984, this is before the Americans with Disabilities Act, there weren’t as many resources and programs out there for people like me, especially a baby that young um with a disability. So probably for my mom she was unsure of what um my abilities were going to be as I grew up, but she I think wanted to give me as many opportunities and um experience as she could so I could develop whatever skills and abilities I was able to. Um, so first thing she did after I got out of the hospital and we got settled was enroll me in like one of those mom and baby swim classes. Um, and at the time because again this was before the ADA, the facility that she went to, the pool uh wasn’t wheelchair accessible, and at the time I didn’t even have a wheelchair yet, she was just pushing me around in a stroller um because I couldn’t you know couldn’t push a wheelchair at the time. And so she would just carry me carry me down these steps um just like all the other moms on her hip down to the pool and get me in the pool and we would do the class together and um there was a number of other you know moms and babies teaching their their little babies how to swim. And so she never mentioned that I was in a wheelchair, um the teacher was aware, the instructor, but none of the other parents knew um that I was any different from them. So I went through the whole course and um at the at the last day there was a little event where we did um some exercises and some races um and I was awarded the best little swimmer in the class. And so the instructor presented the award to my mom and then shared with the other parents, I don’t know if anybody’s aware but Kristina doesn’t have use of her legs and she’s been doing all of the activities and all of the lessons the entire time just with her arms. And all of the parents were just very surprised and shocked that that was the case. And I just always thought that that was such a cool um example of how my mom raised me and how she put me in situations where I would have to just do the best I could with the abilities I had, and often times that was just as just as good as my peers, just as good as everybody else if I was given that opportunity to try. Um, and so uh to this day I still love to swim and fancy myself a strong swimmer, but um it’s important to remember that often times the limitations that you put on yourself or that society puts on you can really make a big impact, but if you remove those um you can uh achieve way more than you ever ever could otherwise.

Bill Lampton: Your mother deserves a lot of crowns for the that that not only that attitude but that support, I I I know I’ve met your mother I believe once or twice and she is a princess and a queen in my judgment and I’m sure in the judgment of those who are watching and listening. Let’s get back Kristina to what you mentioned about going up and all through not only your childhood but also early adulthood and even on into adulthood where you are now, people will notice your disability because of a wheelchair and as you said many people will stop and talk, strangers, let’s examine first of all what are some of the and we we need your advice on it because you’re the participant here Kristina, what are some of the things that you definitely prefer someone not say? What are some of the words you don’t want them to say and then on the other hand what kind of comments do you welcome in starting a conversation?

Kristina Rhoades: Great, yeah, those are great questions Bill. Um, first of all there’s a lot of outdated terms um that have been used in the past and that were very common in the past and for past generations that some people with disabilities just find to be offensive because of just the nature of the word and the definition of the word. So if we’re talking about words like crippled or handicapped or lame um, if you use those words to describe anything else, you’re not that’s not a positive um description that you’re using.

Bill Lampton: They’re too they’re too limiting aren’t they?

Kristina Rhoades: They are. And so if you’re talking about anything, an inanimate object, and you you know call it lame or crippled, that means it doesn’t work or that it’s not good enough.

Bill Lampton: It’s not up to standard, yeah.

Kristina Rhoades: It is, you know, so if you’re a human being and being described by those same words, you can understand that they can feel offensive or just not necessarily a proper representation of who I am and what I am. So we like to use language that puts the person first. And so we say an ind- individual with a disability, a person with a disability, a person who uses a wheelchair or a wheelchair user, um words like that where you’re you’re recognizing that first and foremost this is just a human being, this is just an individual and one of the parts about them is that they happen to have a disability or they happen to be hearing impaired or um low vision, whatever it may be, they’re a person first.

Bill Lampton: That’s that’s a great um that’s a great introduction for in a conversation because as you say, the limitation is a part of an individual, it is not the individual. And one of the surprises so many people have who are not disabled and they they get to know those who have a disability, a person with a disability, I’m sure you have new acquaintances who are absolutely astonished at all that you can do. What what would be some of the what would be some of the surprises that that people get, I know you’ve had a long-time nickname Hotwheels.

Kristina Rhoades: Yeah.

Bill Lampton: What uh surprises in the way of your activities um really awaken people to who you really are?

Kristina Rhoades: Sure, I think two of the biggest surprises for people is first and foremost the independence. People are very surprised to find out that I travel alone, that I’ve had a career, that I’ve you know been to college, when they find out that I carried a child and that I am a mother, that astounds people in a way that they can barely handle sometimes. Um, and then sometimes, you know this Bill, they want to know how and at that point I just ask them to go back to elementary or middle school, you know education and you know learn a little bit more about the birds and the bees.

Bill Lampton: You have a nice way of saying none of your business.

Kristina Rhoades: Yes, yeah exactly. Um, and so just what I’ve accomplished and what I’ve been able to do people are very surprised by that. I think they have you know a lot of people have an image in their mind of you know one of their grandparents when they had got too too elderly to be able to get around by themselves and they use a wheelchair and at that point they kind of are just sedentary and they sit there and observe and that’s kind of their their image in their head of somebody that’s a wheelchair user, somebody that has a disability if they haven’t had that personal experience. So in again independence and my accomplishments are what people are most surprised by that. Um, I think they have you know a lot of people have an image in their mind of you know one of their grandparents when they had got too too elderly to be able to get around by themselves and they use a wheelchair and at that point they kind of are just sedentary and they sit there and observe and that’s kind of their their image in their head of somebody that’s a wheelchair user, somebody that has a disability if they haven’t had that personal experience. So in again independence and my accomplishments are what people are most surprised by that. Um, and then also people are also um surprised to find out that I’m happy, that I have a positive attitude and um you know I’ve had people say that you don’t have to put on a good front for me like you don’t have to put on a happy face. Oh my goodness, I’m definitely not, this is just how I am and of course I’m not like this all the time and I have my bad days and my moods.

Bill Lampton: Nobody is like that all the time you know.

Kristina Rhoades: Exactly, but for the most part I am a pretty happy person and I an- I’m an optimist and I like to look on the bright side and think about the positive. So that’s just you know who I am as an individual with or without a disability. Um, so I think those are kind of you know my outlook and my accomplishments are are what people are most surprised with after they get to know me a little bit.

Bill Lampton: Well I knew that immediately. As I said I had the wonderful opportunity of co-hosting a radio show with you and your your brightness, your optimism, your upbeat attitude, they helped me a lot of days. I can guarantee you. But you’re right that um anyone in any condition will have because of circumstances often mood swings, but we all can can if you can handle those as well as you do that that’s a great example and role model for us Kristina. One thing that I want to get to next is what’s called the Disability Expo. I know that that’s something that you’re heavily involved with and we’ll be back in just a few seconds to talk about that.

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Bill Lampton: We’re here with Kristina Rhoades, also known as Hotwheels as we’ve said on the Biz Communication Show. And Kristina before the short break, I mentioned that we want to know what is the Abilities Expo that you’re involved with, what’s its purpose, how is it you’re involved, how long have you been with it, and what are the results for you and others?

Kristina Rhoades: Yeah, Bill, Abilities Expo is absolutely fantastic. Um, it’s been going for over 40 years. It’s our nation’s largest expo for the disability community. Um, and so there’s a variety of services, products, resources for all types of disabilities available there, number of vendors, workshops, educational workshops, events like adaptive dancing and assistive dog demonstrations, adaptive sports. All sorts of exciting things. Um, we’ll be kicking off the season this year in Long Beach um at the end of March and we even have a really awesome adaptive fashion show that’s going to be taking place there. Um, and at that show we see just about 10,000 people come through in a weekend with disabilities, family members, caretakers, professionals that serve the disability community. Um, it’s just a really fantastic event, Bill.

Bill Lampton: Uh you you bring up a question that I think some of us are wondering you mentioned 10,000 people. What what is there a number of the that you know of the people say in the United States who are rated as people with disability or is there percentage of population?

Kristina Rhoades: You know I don’t have a figure for you for general disabilities Bill because that that’s a kind of a tough number to grab, there’s so many types of disabilities, invisible, visible disabilities, all sorts of um types of disability, um and it’s a it’s something that some people aren’t comfortable sharing so to capture that number is a challenge. For example I can talk that people in wheelchairs I have a figure for that because that’s a little bit more you know easier to measure because of product and things like that so the US estimates that there’s about 20 to 25 million people wheelchair users that live in the US um at any given time. Um, and again that number can change because some people don’t use a wheelchair all the time, some people have multiple chairs, you know there’s a lot of a lot of factors that go into that. Um, but the expo again I just yeah I want to just say that I’ve been attending that in one way or another for about 20 years Bill, working with various companies in the industry, giving workshops, um just helping get the word out about the expo because it’s just a really special experience for people that live their daily lives out in the normal world encountering obstacles um you know trying to find that accessibility like we just talked about encountering strangers where they’re asking you questions and you’re just trying to navigate the world. So when you like walk into a disability expo or roll into a disability expo and abilities expo and there’s all of these resources for people with disabilities you just feel kind of home, you feel like you are normal and you’re the norm and everybody at at that show is there for you and to cater to to your access and your needs and um what you need to to live your best life um and so I just it’s a really special experience if you go if you don’t buy anything if you just go and roll through the show it really um just provides a sense of camaraderie and um knowing that you’re not alone.

Bill Lampton: I’m sure especially for a person who’s a new occupant of a wheelchair, that is that is an incredibly comforting time that they’re there.

Kristina Rhoades: It is. And there’s so much technology now Bill compared to when I was injured um you know back in 1984 and watching the Americans with Disabilities Act come around and we start getting curb cuts and you know elevators and then fast forward to to today and the types of technology um the wheelchairs that can lift up and reach the top shelf and um power assists for manual wheelchairs so you can still be independent but you can push a button and get some power if your shoulders get tired. Remember I used to have to use a dog for that.

Bill Lampton: Yes.

Kristina Rhoades: I had a companion dog Chevy that when my shoulders got tired I had to have him pull me along so yeah the technology has just come a long way and it really really like you said especially if you’re somebody with a new disability going to one of these shows just really opens up your world and gives you the the tools and the resources to live as independently as possible.

Bill Lampton: You definitely have a message of motivation, inspiration, building self-confidence, overcoming obstacles, what kind of speaking have you done to groups on those or similar topics?

Kristina Rhoades: Yeah, much of what you just mentioned Bill I talk to um a variety of audiences so folks that work in the disability community but may not necessarily have a disability themselves so people that work at um dealerships for accessible vehicles and people that may be therapists and other sorts of professionals in the disability community. I’ll give um presentations about disability etiquette and talk about some of the things that we’re talking about here today Bill about um proper language and just communication and etiquette when you’re when you’re interacting with a person with a disability, how to shake hands, how to um properly greet somebody so you can kind of reduce the awkwardness that can come up sometimes um in new situations. Um and then I’ve also spoke to groups with disabilities and talked about um leadership and positive thinking and um you know self-worth and self-development and how how important it is to um have a positive attitude and set personal goals and um you know so it really depends on who I’m speaking to um and you know what what that particular audience needs.

Bill Lampton: You and I are both on TikTok, I see you there and I’ve noticed uh quite frequently other wheelchair occupants who will talk about how to talk with someone as we talked about earlier in our conversation. For example they they don’t want you to talk baby talk, they don’t want you to whisper, um they don’t want you to indicate in any way that that they are approaching you or thinking about you differently than they would someone else, and how would you expand on that? Anything I’ve missed there?

Kristina Rhoades: No, that’s a fantastic point Bill, and I tell people really to to lead with empathy, like to think about how you would want to be treated and if somebody approached you in a store and asked you a personal question about a medical procedure you’ve had, how how that would feel. And so just to you know any anytime you’re going to approach somebody maybe and you’re wondering if you should in a wheelchair or not in a wheelchair, with a disability or without, think about if if somebody else was to ask you a question like that if you would be comfortable answering that and especially in the situation you know it may be different if you guys have gotten to know each other a little bit and you’re in a social situation and you’re having more of a personal talk. Different topics can come up, but if it’s a stranger and you walk up to me in the grocery store and I’ve never met you and you want to dive right into my disability it can be a little awkward. Um and then I just think it’s also important to to just again and this goes back to empathy and just kind of the golden rule treating others how you would want to be treated, but um thinking about how people value independence. And so if you’re an adult and you’re out in the world and somebody comes up and asks, you know asks the date that you’re with at the restaurant what you would like to eat for lunch, how would you feel as an adult with you know you would say excuse me um I’m here and you can speak directly to me. So a person with a disability feels the exact same way they want their personal autonomy, they want to have respect, they want to feel independent and you know with a person with a physical disability often they’ve had to work even harder to gain that independence so they cherish it even more maybe than the next person.

Bill Lampton: What a conversation we’ve had, we have picked up some wonderful pointers about the the disability world which I would call you the queen of. How how to relate, how to assist, how to inspire at the same time we’re getting so much inspiration from you Kristina. I know as we unfortunately have that old clock on the wall as they said on television many times it’s moved along, so I have time certainly to ask you for your contact information because I know that there are those who would like to get in touch with you. Um share with us what you’d like to on that please.

Kristina Rhoades: Yeah thanks Bill, I’ve had a great great time speaking with you today and catching up. Um people can reach out to me via email and that’s going to be KristinaTheNumber4Abilities, and that’s Kristina with a K, number 4 abilities @ gmail . com. Um or you can reach out to me on Instagram and there’s a link there that you can find my TikTok and my other social media um and that’s Kristina again with a K underscore and my last name is Rhoades, it’s there on the bottom but it’s r-h-o-a-d-e-s there on Instagram.

Bill Lampton: Thank you very much, thank you. And I encourage, I doubt that I have to encourage, I think people who have heard Kristina and seen her today with that vibrant attitude and glowing smile which is just a part of her everyday, I I have a feeling you will definitely want to get in touch with her and now that she’s shared her contact information I’ll share mine. My YouTube channel since my moniker is the biz communication guy, my YouTube channel is Bill Lampton PhD, and while you’re on my YouTube channel, by the way I started posting instructional videos there in 2007 so there are a lot of them. And the good news is they’re free. And for the last eight years they’ve included marvelous guests on the Biz Communication Show so while you’re on my YouTube channel, please consider subscribing. And then my website, https://www.google.com/search?q=thebizcommunicationguy.com we have it there, https://www.google.com/search?q=thebizcommunicationguy.com, while you’re on my website you can subscribe to the podcast. I would very much welcome phone calls for an initial no-cost discussion of your communication challenges and problems and we’ll talk about potential solutions and whether I’m the person to work with you or someone else is. That phone number is 678-316-4300. I also want to give credit to the co-producer of this show, Mike Stewart based in Nashville, used to be here with me in Gainesville, Georgia. Mike I met in get this, 1997 when I first became an entrepreneur and he has been my marketing and technology guy all along. He absolutely he doesn’t keep up, he’s ahead of everything and and he’s a great guy. So his website localinternetpresence.com, I definitely encourage you to check with him. Kristina as we are closing the show, I want to ask you we’ve discussed some wonderful themes about disability. What would you like to leave with our audience? What what are some maybe some kernels, some thoughts that you’d like to leave with us?

Kristina Rhoades: Well thanks again Bill for the conversation. I really enjoyed it. Um I said this before but I’ll just say it again to lead with empathy and just to consider how you would want to be treated, remember that golden rule, um and just be kind because we’re all just humans and we’re doing the best we can to get through this life. We don’t know the struggles that each of us are silently dealing with, um so if we can remember that then um things will go a lot smoother and um thanks again Bill for the um information that you provide I love watching all of your videos and appreciate um all the knowledge that you impart to the world. So I appreciate the the chance to be here with you today.

Bill Lampton: You can just call me Clint Eastwood because you made my day. And to think that you, highly talented top professional communicator you, are watching my videos, that um that’s wonderful. Thank you. Thanks to those of you who joined us today on the Biz Communication Show. We invite you to be with us again for next week for another vital conversation. It’s planned, it’s not canned, it’s planned, it is a lively conversation about communication and you and I will both get tips and strategies that will be beneficial for us. Thanks again to Kristina Rhoades and to thanks to all of you who joined us in the show today.